Accidental Love

Chapter 44: Were You Ever Sincere?

After finishing the report to Shi Yan, Qiu Fu quickly returned to his office on the eighth floor.

Zheng Shuyi was still waiting for him, sitting quietly and holding a cup of coffee.

Qiu Fu looked at her from a distance.

In fact, Qiu Fu was a very typical person who bent with the wind. In addition to finishing all the work on time and properly, he also knew how to do things depending on what the boss wanted at the moment.

For example, he felt that Shi Yan had a sense of dislike against Qin Lezhi, so he immediately took action and prevented her from appearing again.

And after what happened today, he could also tell that some unpleasant things might have happened between Shi Yan and Zheng Shuyi.

But he wasn't sure if it was just some small arguments that happened between the two or what, and after meeting Zheng Shuyi for the past few times, he started to like the attitude she had with her work. So today, he still politely greeted her.

It was just that he was more serious this time than usual, and didn't talk about anything off-topic in the middle. Zheng Shuyi just followed his flow and didn't get to think about other things either.

After the two or three-hour interview, Zheng Shuyi seemed to have been enveloped in such a serious atmosphere.

So when she left Mingyu Cloud, there wasn't any strangeness on her face.

Even after she got in the taxi, she didn't give herself any break and immediately put on earbuds to playback Qiu Fu's recording.

However, Bi Ruoshan happened to call at the moment.

"Sister, did your wifi break down?" Bi Ruoshan just got off work and she said unhurriedly, "Or is our friendship slowly deteriorating already. Why didn't you reply to the messages I sent you the day before yesterday?"

"Huh?" Zheng Shuyi was stunned for a moment, "Oh, maybe I forgot."

"Okay, I accept your excuse, but you didn't reply to what I sent this morning either, how do you explain this? Do I still have my position in your heart?"

Zheng Shuyi looked out the car window and suddenly fell silent.

Although she couldn't see her face, Bi Ruoshan could sense Zheng Shuyi's change in emotion. She immediately removed her casual and carefree tone and asked seriously, "What happened? Have you been very busy recently?

Bi Ruoshan took the initiative to open a hole for Zheng Shuyi to release all the emotions that she had been accumulating for days. But since they've been staying there for a while already, she has already accepted the truth and didn't talk and complain like a flash flood.

It was just that when repeating what had happened, Zheng Shuyi re-experienced the worst days of her life.

Especially when she talked about what happened a few hours ago, she paused a few times, as if she suddenly lost her ability to form a proper sentence. She didn't know what words to use to describe the twists and turns she felt in those minutes.

Whenever she thought of Shi Yan's look and walked past her like she didn't exist, Zheng Shuyi would feel like her throat was being strangled.

After quietly listening to her, Bi Ruoshan sighed.

"How did that happen Why didn't you tell me earlier, sigh I don't know what to do either. I can't pretend that I'm in the same situation and comfort you, I can only say since everything already happenedsigh"

"Yeah, things are already like this," Zheng Shuyi's voice sounded like there was sand in her throat, nothing like her usual sweetness, "What an arrogant person he is, born with a golden spoon in his mouth, what made him meet someone like me? He must hate me so much right now, so much."

Bi Ruoshan really didn't know what to say. She tried really hard to use some universal comforting lines, "Maybe things aren't as bad as you think."

"You don't know yet, but he even took his niece and stopped allowing her to stay with me. He really didn't want to hear anything about me anymore."

"Sigh, don't be too sad, maybe it'll get better if you go talk to him."

"I don't have the courage to meet him anymore," Zheng Shuyi stared at the car window and fell into a deep sadness. Then after forcibly pulling herself out, she continued, "Every time I think of that look in his eyes today as if he couldn't see me, I just I just feel so sad"

This time, Bi Ruoshan was silent too.

After hearing Zheng Shuyi say all this, she finally understood.

Zheng Shuyi likes Shi Yan for real, like like him, that is why she's so depressed.

But as of right now, since Shi Yan was so decisive, she didn't want to bring this fact to Zheng Shuyi yet.

Because she knew clearly that if she let Zheng Shuyi realize that she was disliked by the person she liked, it would be like pushing her into a deeper abyss.

"It's okay, isn't it just a man? You've reached your goal anyway. Think about it, Yue Xingzhou and that Qin-whatever, they're probably suffering right now. I bet they couldn't even eat and sleep without having to stress," said Bi Ruoshan, "Stop thinking about it. Go home early tonight and take a shower, and order some crayfish and watch some shows. Everything will be fine when you wake up tomorrow."

Zheng Shuyi gave an "okay" and hung up the phone. The car was almost arriving at her office already.

Of course, she didn't go home yet. She didn't want to stay alone in a quiet room, because the lonely atmosphere would infinitely magnify all her sad emotions. She has already experienced this many times in the previous few days.

Although it was the weekend, there were still many people working overtime in the company.

So everyone wasn't surprised to see Zheng Shuyi coming back.

Several girls were gathered eating dessert together. Zheng Shuyi calmly walked over to get some and then returned to her desk and opened her computer.

After logging in, a new email notification appeared on her desktop.

Seeing the sender's message, Zheng Shuyi sat in a daze.

This email was probably the only good news she received recently.

Since last year, Zheng Shuyi has been contacting a financial scientist in the United States.

He wrote three world-famous classics and was highly respected in the industry. In addition, he was also a tenured professor of H University.

Therefore, an interview with him would be harder than trying to climb to the sky.

During this year or so, Zheng Shuyi has sent him a total of 17 emails. Each time the content was different, and she asked over and over again.

When sending out the seventeenth email last month, Zheng Shuyi didn't have any trace of hope anymore.

Unexpectedly, just when she was about to give up, the light of dawn finally came.

The sudden happiness made Zheng Shuyi read the message over and over again, afraid that she might have accidentally read something wrong.

In the end, she replied to the email with an almost trembling hand.

However, after she stared at the computer screen, the joy soon left her and was replaced with emptiness.

Zheng Shuyi has always felt that she was a person with great perseverance. Back in school, she studied from morning until night regardless of the weather and season. Then after she got a job, she tried to find herself opportunities endlessly.

Later, when she met Shi Yan, no matter how cold his attitude was, she tried over and over again like a little cockroach who wouldn't be killed.1Describing something to a cockroach who couldn't be killed is a common analogy in China as to something/someone who wouldn't go away no matter how hard one tries. This is because of a cockroach's strong ability to survive in all kinds of conditions. But now, she was weighed down by an inexplicable feeling of powerlessness.

Perhaps it was the look from Shi Yan, or maybe it was the fact that he blocked her on WeChat. Either way, Zheng Shuyi felt like she couldn't do anything right now.

Until the last slim of light from dusk was swallowed by the night, Zheng Shuyi finally moved her mouse and typed in Shi Yan's email in the recipient box.

She thought about sending via text, but just like WeChat, she has been blocked.

It took Zheng Shuyi more than an hour to write an email with only a dozen or so words.

The moment she pressed the send button, she thought, I can finally send the apology I owed him.

She should be relieved.

But for some reason, she felt even more upset in her heart.

She sat and took a few deep breaths, then she got up with her cup in her hand.

Before reaching the pantry, just around the corner, she was hit by Xu Yuling who was in a hurry.

Zheng Shuyi didn't find her balance quickly enough and she fell towards the table on the side.

The corner of the table scratched against the back of her hand and some skin was scratched off. Zheng Shuyi, with her hand on the table, looked at the scratch.

Xu Yuling went over to help her up, "Are you okay?"

As soon as she spoke, Xu Yuling saw the big teardrops falling from Zheng Shuyi's face.

"Wait, no, why are you crying?"

Xu Yuling was stunned. Faced with the gazes from her colleagues around her, she grew more and more anxious, "I just bumped you by accident, and I didn't mean it!"

Zheng Shuyi raised her hand and wiped her face, but her tears continued to fall like a set of broken beads.

"Zheng Shuyi, you, you, you"

Xu Yuling didn't even know what to say anymore; she was completely shocked and impressed by Zheng Shuyi's Oscar-like acting skills. "Are you serious? This acting isn't necessary!"

Then she explained to a colleague, "I just touched her!"

However, Xu Yuling's words didn't seem to have any effect.

Instead, Zheng Shuyi gave up wiping her tears. She sat down on the floor and buried her head in her knees.

She was scared, she was a coward, she just wanted to selfishly protect herself.

She was afraid of the heart-wrenching feeling that Shi Yan's eyes would bring to her.

She didn't want to experience it again.

At the same time, the annual EM Financial Charity Night kicked off in warm applause.

More than a thousand people in the industry from all over the world gathered together. The lights were bright and perfumed clothes and gorgeous hair were everywhere.

While everyone was chatting and pouring wine for each other, Shi Yan noticed a figure from the corner of his eyes.

While everyone around him was talking about him, his eyes followed the back of a slender woman.

She was wearing a light blue shirt and a white pencil skirt. Her long hair was hanging diagonally on her shoulders and she was holding a glass of wine, sipping while walking towards the champagne tower.

Guanji saw this subtle movement in his eyes. He followed Shi Yan's gaze and after confirming, he teased, "What, interested? She's EM's trader Fiona, want me to introduce you to her?"

"No," Shi Yan slowly retracted his gaze and looked at the rest area in front of him. "I'll go find Uncle Guan," he said to Guan Ji.

As he walked over, he stretched out his hand and pulled on his tie. With a frown on his face, he quickened his pace, as if he really wanted to leave this place.

As for Zheng Shuyi, after not seeing each other for a few days, he could still maintain the calm on the surface of his face and keep his emotions in his heart.

But today, after she suddenly appeared in front of him, the flow of emotions from his heart started to surge up, almost drowning his consciousness.

And at this moment, just seeing a woman whose back looked like her made him feel anxious.

Throughout the entire charity night, Shi Yan felt like there was a torn stuck in his heart. He wanted to pull it out but had no way to do so.

At midnight, Bay of Clouds.

The night sky outside the floor-to-ceiling windows was lit up by various dots of light. Along the Bridge of Jiang City, the lights formed a continuous chain of beads.

Shi Yan had a few empty wine bottles beside him and his body was full of a heavy alcohol smell that the cold wind couldn't dissipate. But his face was still as calm as ever.

The two chandeliers above his head swayed gently under the blowing of the wind, and countless reflections were projected into the wine glass.

They looked like pairs of smiling eyes.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol, the scene in front of Shi Yan's eyes was a little fuzzy.

He took out his phone and unblocked Zheng Shuyi.

The original chat history was still there.

He looked up one by one. There weren't that many, but he looked at them for over an hour.

He seemed to be searching for something.

After he read every single message again, the alcohol-filled brain finally returned a little bit to normal.

He was searching for whether Zheng Shuyi had any signs of sincerity.

Even if it was just a little bit.

Under the effects of the wine, he even thought that if he could find even the tiniest evidence, he could pretend that he didn't know anything.

But the screen full of sweet words all looked like they were just a joke.

Shi Yan put down his phone and waved his hand to smack the innocent wine bottle on the table.

As an adult who did everything in his life meticulously, Shi Yan rarely released his anger like this.

But now, it seemed like there was no other way to solve the uneasiness in his heart other than finding something to project his anger to.

The glass shattered everywhere and the crisp sound echoed in the empty house.

Zheng Shuyi quietly laid back to Shi Yan's blocked list.

When he looked up again, the golden sunrise had already decorated the Bridge of Jiang City with sparkling lights.

There was a notification for an important email from abroad. Shi Yan glanced at it and opened it.

In the inbox, there was also an email from Zheng Shuyi.

It looked nothing like a professional email. No subject, no heading, just a few lines of words:

Sorry.

I have no excuses and I dare not to ask for your forgiveness.

I hope you will never meet someone terrible like me again in the future.

May you be healthy and successful.

The container holding his emotions that finally returned to calm was smashed by this email.

Shi Yan read these short lines several times and suddenly laughed at himself.

That so-called cuteness was all acting to achieve her goal.

As a financial reporter, this was her true tone.

Talking so sweetly was just a delusion. True love couldn't be hidden.

Shi Yan thought, if he had recognized this earlier, maybe he wouldn't have ended up like this.

But even so, Shi Yan still pictured her pitifully weeping while pulling on his sleeves.

Although reason told Shi Yan that there was no way she would cry over this.

But the alcohol always had a paralyzing effect on matters like this.

Shi Yan removed Zheng Shuyi from the blacklist and typed out a line: Were you ever sincere?

After staring at Zheng Shuyi's profile picture for a long time, Shi Yan sighed and pressed the send button.

The next second, a message popped up.

"You are not his/her friend yet, please send a friend request."

For the first time in Shi Yan's 27 years of life, he cursed.

• 1Describing something to a cockroach who couldn't be killed is a common analogy in China as to something/someone who wouldn't go away no matter how hard one tries. This is because of a cockroach's strong ability to survive in all kinds of conditions.