Apocalypse Redux

Chapter 218: Talking it out

Dr, Müller’s office was just what one would expect from a psychiatrist’s workplace upon a warship.

Everything was bolted down to prevent it from spilling everywhere when the ship moved, there was a tiny cabin for the man himself to sleep in attached to the room and the whole place was cramped as hell.

“Thank you for making the time to meet me, Dr. Müller.” Isaac said “But before we start this, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to confirm that this conversation is covered by [System]-enforced confidentiality. In order to not sound completely insane, I have to provide some context, but that context is …”

He sighed “Without exaggeration, it’s one of the biggest secrets in the world.”

Müller, to his credit, took that declaration in his stride and a [System] window opened in front of Isaac.

[Adrian Müller], [Expert Military Psychiatrist], is [System]-bound to observe confidentiality with regards to all things you discuss with him.

(He is likewise bound to inform the proper authorities should you reveal yourself as a threat to the lives of yourself or others)

“Thank you,” Isaac said, sighed, and relaxed, sinking back into the armchair.

“So, Dr. Thoma, what would you like me to call you?” Müller asked “Your first name, surname, if there’s a title you’d like me to use, or not use, as it were, please ask. The important thing is that you feel comfortable in this situation. And you’re free to address me however you want.”

“Thank you, Adrian, Isaac’s fine,” Isaac told him.

“Alright, Isaac, how are you feeling?” Müller asked in a friendly tone.

“Honestly?” Isaac said “I know it sounds nuts, but I feel really good. The discussion about what to do with the city was frustrating as hell, and being down there was literal hell, but fighting those [Raid Bosses] … that’s something I could do, a situation I could be useful in. Especially the Mosasaur.”

Müller didn’t look at him with judgment in his eyes, though Isaac could tell he was more than a little confused and concerned.

He hung his head and chuckled.

“See, this is where the context comes in. I’m not a madman who charges in to fight a [Raid Boss] because the meeting was getting on my nerves. I …”

Isaac chuckled again “I know this is going to sound insane, so please use whatever truth-telling [Skills] you possess, I won’t block them.

“I’m a time traveler. The [System] appeared, people started summoning, and monsters got out. One here, two there, people were climbing the Tiers, the occasional [Raid Boss] went on a rampage, and as the world grew more dangerous even when you weren’t actively summoning, people had to level to survive, which just made the whole situation worse.

“Shit got worse and worse until eventually, I was the only one left, standing knee-deep in gore with the corpse of a Tier 10 Demon Lord behind me, about to dive into the portal that all Tier 10 [Raid Bosses] have to summon their own reinforcements with. But as it turns out, there was a hidden side to the [System]. If humanity ever got whittled down to one, and that person managed to conquer a portal, that portal would lead back through time, all the way to the very beginning of the [System]. And here I am.

“I wasn’t the best fighter in the world, I wasn’t an expert in any given craft, I don’t have the bestiary memorized to the point where I could draw you an anatomical diagram of every single monster in existence.

“But I was good enough to survive and reach the top, I gathered a ton of miscellaneous information on crafting, and I’ve fought enough monsters practically non-stop for a decade. I do know basically all their offensive powers, weaknesses, and most valuable parts.

“So when I jumped into the water with a prehistoric apex predator capable of snapping destroyers in half with a single chomp, I knew exactly what I was doing, I knew that I’d win.”

Isaac sighed and leaned back in his chair until the back of his head was laying on its headrest and he was staring at the ceiling.

“That’s my story, boiled down to its essentials. Basically no one knows, and the few people I told can take care of themselves. In case you were worried about people trying to get information out of you about me later, you don’t have to be. The confidentiality [Skill] means that you can’t share the information, and potential bad actors will be able to tell.”

He finally sat up straight and looked at Müller.

“I know this is a lot, and if you need to take a minute to process this, feel free. But this session wouldn’t get us anywhere without this information.”

Müller … was not looking good. His eyes were flicking from side to side with unnatural speed and his facial expression was changing every other second. He hadn’t had a stroke though, he was merely using one of his [Skills] to speedrun the process of dealing with having his world rocked.

That [Skill] was meant to keep the therapy moving along smoothly, where the psychiatrist could finish absorbing the situation without having to ask for a little time. The fact that Müller was still in his state of hyper-speed coping a minute later meant that he was struggling. Another minute passed and Isaac grew seriously concerned.

Suddenly, Müller stopped his fidgeting and looked straight at Isaac, seemingly staring into his very soul.

“How are you dealing with it?”

“Honestly? I’m mostly ignoring it. I had a bit of a crisis earlier when I thought that everyone I knew was dead and I’d erased them, even the versions of them that are in the various afterlives, by time traveling. Eventually, I managed to hit myself over the head with enough bricks that I stopped being an idiot.”

“… literally?” Müller asked in a tone of voice that made it abundantly clear that he was afraid of the answer.

Isaac shook his head.

“I’m dealing with it as best I can. I do have people to talk to, they aren’t professionals, but they’re good friends and do what they can.”

“Good,” Müller said, freezing up for a moment, before visibly gathering himself, sitting up ramrod-straight and continuing.

“So, what’s on your mind the most these days?”

“The fate of the world.” Isaac said “I’m worried about a lot of things. The cult, the people we met down in R’lyeh, when the first idiots would summon a [World Boss] … I’m making plans for all of those things. Every. Damn. Day. Things are getting better, but that doesn’t mean that the world is safe.”

“How much time do you normally spend working in a day?”

“That depends on how you define work.” Isaac said, “I do really enjoy a lot of my work, and I’d be doing it even if it weren’t my job, but if it counts, I’d say I work something like twenty hours a day.”

Müller winced “And what would that enjoyable part of your work be?”

“Summoning.” Isaac said “I know how that sounds, that it makes me sound like I left behind half my marbles in the other timeline, but when I’m fighting summoned monsters that are only there because I chose them to be there, they aren’t a problem, they’re a challenge, one I chose to take on. Using everything I learned … I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Like everything you went through had meaning because it’s the basis for your knowledge?” Müller suggested.

The corners of Isaac’s mouth twitched upwards for a brief moment “I think that might be it. The other timeline made me who I am today, and when I’m summoning, I’m getting the most out of that hell, using that knowledge in a situation where the world isn’t actively ending.”

He sighed and hung his head “Godsdamnit. Why the hell does it take me staring into a city that’s literally madness made manifest to talk to a shrink?”

“Well, talking about yourself, revealing the things you like to keep on the inside, that can be scary even if you don’t have huge se- … did you just say gods?” Müller stared at Isaac as one might look at a dangerous snake.

No, that wasn’t it. More like … one might stare at a letter from the bank you hadn’t opened yet, something that might be harmless, or it might be utterly devastating.

Isaac nodded and Müller seemed to deflate. Godsdamnit, why couldn’t Isaac have thought that through better?

“Was that a turn of phrase from the …” Müller swallowed “Other timeline? Or do you know something?”

Isaac desperately wanted to kick himself, but he decided that wouldn’t help. At all.

“I’ve met Janus, the Roman god of doorways, once. I also met Loki a few times, seen Hermes from afar and I’ve got circumstantial evidence for the existence of a few more. I also know that some form of afterlife exists.” Isaac said, deciding to just put it all out there. There was no way in hell that life after death wouldn’t have been Müller’s next question.

Aaaaaannd he might have broken his psychiatrist. Müller slipped right back into the hyper-comprehension state but it ended after less than ten seconds and he was still looking frazzled.

Another [Skill] activated and he relaxed, apparently putting dealing with the situation off until later. That couldn’t be healthy, but apparently, it was what was needed right now.

“What do you do when you aren’t summoning, or working?” Müller asked.

“Cooking, watching TV, spending time with my sisters, pub crawls with Arthur, stuff like that.”

“Have you tried putting aside a couple of hours each day to do things for yourself, and sticking to it, barring emergencies?” Müller asked, “I know that it might sound tough and maybe like you could be spending your time doing something productive, but taking care of yourself is productive.”

“Tried that, stopped doing it. But I guess I’ll try again.”

“What are your plans for now?” Müller asked.

“Thank my lucky stars that I’m not involved in the argument about loot distribution.” Isaac chuckled “There are clear directions about what I should get as incident commander baked into the Treaty of Seoul, to prevent abuse of authority when it comes to loot. In fact, I’m banned from the discussion, which means I don’t have to deal with that mess unless a disagreement is brought before me for arbitration. So that’s one patience-destroying meeting I don’t have to attend.”

“Do you dislike bureaucracy in general?” Müller asked.

“I like it in theory because it’s important. It’s just that a lot of the things I run into read like they were written by someone actively trying to get on my last nerve. As if, when torture stopped being socially acceptable, the guild of torturers swapped out their hot pokers for pens and started creating rules and regulations to torment humanity for the rest of time.” Isaac said, “I’ll deal with it when it comes up, but when I can avoid dealing with it without negative consequences, I’ll be happy.”

“And what is the incident commander’s share?” Müller asked, “Are you happy with it?”

“As long as the incident commander didn’t do a terrible job, they’re entitled to an Aspect and ten percent of the body, for the first two times a given [Raid Boss] is killed. From the third time onwards, only a single Aspect is dropped, so the commander either gets twenty percent of the body, or they can buy the Aspect, with the price being determined by a super complicated formula that I don’t understand. I’d rather go for a walk in R’lyeh than sit in on university-level math classes.”

“And speaking of R’lyeh, what was it like down there?” Müller asked, finally bringing them to the originally intended topic of this meeting. “

“Crappy, I felt like someone slowed down my ability to think. And worried. I’m pretty sure it didn’t have any permanent effects, but … there’s always that stupid little voice in the back of my head pointing out that if I’d been affected, would I really be able to tell? I did borrow several psychiatrists [Skills] using [Blessing of Innovation] and compare my mental states before and after the visit to that hellhole, but …” Isaac hung his head “I know the voice is wrong, but it’s still there.”

Müller nodded sympathetically “I’ve been checking for foreign mental influences throughout the meeting and I’ve spent enough time with the prisoners to get an idea as to what the city does to people. As far as I can tell, you’re clean.”

Isaac sighed in relief. That was one worry gone.

Now he just had to figure out more about how the city functioned, and why it was here. He’d briefly considered asking Loki about that but realized that would almost certainly incur a cost he wouldn’t be able or willing to pay. He wouldn’t risk that.

“Thank you, Adrian.” He said, “This has been great, but I think I need to take some time to think about everything.”

Müller nodded “I think that might be for the best, Isaac. When would you have time for another session, assuming you’re staying here for a few more days?”

“I’ll find a way for one,” Isaac promised and after exchanging a few more pleasantries, he left. Thankfully, it was looking like hadn’t fully broken his psychiatrist, but Müller definitely needed a little time to fully deal with having his worldview shattered.