Author's Reincarnation in a Fantasy Setting



I still felt weak but somehow how I forced open my eyes and the ceiling of the infirmary room came into sight. My vision was blurry at first but in a few minutes it became clear. 

I tried to get up and even succeeded in doing so to an extent but then I fell back on the bed. The weakness and weariness I was feeling right now were way more than anything I'd experienced till now.

However, taking note of the fact that I've awakened the nurse came close to me and helped me to sit up on the bed. 

"How much time was I asleep for?" I asked while she was lifting me up. 

"Three days," she replied.

Ah…well, it wasn't unexpected. I'd already slept for about a week so this was nothing compared to that…I think. 

After sitting straight on the bed I took a look at myself and found myself shirtless. I didn't know why they had not put a cloth over me. Perhaps it wasn't that important of a matter in their eyes. 

[You look skinner than before.]

'You can still see despite not being in human form?'

[I won't call it seeing, it's more like sensing my surroundings through mana.]

'Ah, I see. As for what you said, isn't it obvious that I'd lose body mass after going through all of that?'

[Well, that's true. Hehe~]

'Sigh.'

While taking to Req my eyes wandered around the room and caught sight of something that I hadn't noticed till now—or I should rather say caught sight of 'someone'.

Sitting on a chair a little distance from my bed was Anya. She was sitting up straight and looking at me, her face was composed and her eyes looked…dull. 

She didn't really have any expression on her face which was as rare as it was for me to have an expression. 

"Anya…?" I called out to her. 

She didn't respond for a moment but then said, "Yes, brother? I see that you are awake."

I had no idea why but that tone of speaking felt a little out of line. 

"Mhm…as you can see, I'm fine and alive," I said raising both my arms to show her that I had no injuries. 

"I know that, and I can see too. But you know, I've been here since the time you passed out. So even though you might not have any injuries right now I'm well aware of how many you had," she replied. 

I had no response to that question. I mean, I knew where she was coming from. If I had seen her in that state, or my parents, I would have been scared for my life. Yet how she was maintaining a compose was a little unnerving. 

"Are you happy now?" she asked. The question was so out of nowhere that I didn't know what to say. Therefore I couldn't give her an answer in time. 

"I asked if you are satisfied with yourself right now?" she asked again. 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"What I mean is, that you seem quite fond of breaking promises, don't you?" she said. 

'Ah fuck…I'm doomed,' I thought to myself as some memories came flooding back. The memories of the letter I'd sent her through Alada. I'd told her that I would come back home safely and that she didn't need to worry about me, I promised that to her. 

Yet I came back in such a horrible condition. 

"W-Well, I'm alive as you can see. I promised you that I would return alive, right?" 

"Oh? So you DO remember the promise. What a surprise!" she said, sarcasm dripping in her voice. 

Again I had nothing to counter that. "I'm sorry…" I said, lowering my eyes. 

I'm not the type to ever apologize to someone but it was different when it came to my family. My family was my vulnerability, I could do anything for them. Thus I had no problem apologizing either. 

"What do you think a sorry will do? Will it relieve me of all the pain I felt this past month?" 

"..." I stayed quiet. 

"Answer, why are you not saying anything?" she stood up and walked closer to me. 

"You had promised me that you would come back alive and that I don't need to worry about you. You said you would. But then you don't come back, there is no trace of you for an entire world. And when you did come back, you were in a half-dead condition."

"What am I to make of this? Do you not care at all about how I feel? About how our parents feel? You teleported them here and I'm grateful for that but did you think how will they survive in this unknown atmosphere?"

"I saw them when they were here, all alone sitting in a corner. Given that you are somewhat smart, you should've been able to figure out that they won't be okay on their own even if you did send them here."

"I…I thought you would take care of them. Which you did…" I said. 

"That's true, but what if I hadn't seen them? They'll have to wander around on their own in this unknown land without much money or any house to live in. Did you ever give it a thought about how hard it could be given how everything happened so suddenly?" 

I had no answer again. 

"I'm sorry…" I said. 

She was standing just in front of me and I was looking down all the time hence I hadn't been able to see her face, though when she didn't say anything for a while I looked up. I saw that tears were rolling down her eyes. 

"Do you…now know? How much the thought of you being dead scares me? How much…it pains me…? You don't care at all about those things, do you…?"

"I…" she was right. I have not been paying attention to things like that. 

I was so focused on saving the lives of my family that I forgot about making their lives better.