Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy

Chapter 227: Going to the Capital as a Beast (4)

I ran without thinking, following my feet. I cast aside all my pride and authority and ran desperately, ignoring the noises around me.

If I stopped here, I felt like I'd never catch up to baby. It felt like I might lose him forever if I were even a moment late.

What use were all my possessions without baby? What was the point of my title as the Mage Duchess or the Head of the Magic Tower in a world without him? Even if I had everything but him, nothing mattered.

Where are you, baby...?

But no matter how hard I ran, baby was nowhere in sight. As I grew more breathless, running became increasingly difficult. It felt like the sky was falling.

Unable to use magic, I was utterly helpless. Only baby could make me feel so powerless and insignificant.

Tears blurred my vision. How could I have ignored him? I disregarded his pain, ignored his opinion, and acted arrogantly, assuming he’d naturally be pleased.

"Baby, baby..."

My body trembled with self-loathing. My legs gave out, and I collapsed to the ground.

No, self-pity was a luxury I couldn't afford. I had to apologize, even if forgiveness was out of the question. I couldn't let our final memory be stained by my ugliness.

I forced my trembling legs to move. I stumbled and fell many times, but I got up each time. I grabbed every passerby to ask if they’d seen baby, ignoring their shocked looks.

"If you mean the man in the black uniform, he went that way. I don't know if he's the Prosecutors’ Office’s Executive Manager, but..."

Thankfully, a shopkeeper's response pointed me in the right direction.

After running again, I arrived at a mansion—baby's mansion.

He’s in there.

I was genuinely relieved. I was worried that he might have left the capital.

Luckily, I wasn't too late. Baby was still here. There was still a chance.

Holding onto that hope, I moved forward again. Limping from the pain in my knees, I approached the main gate, where a guard blocked my way.

"P-Please stop. This is the residence of the Prosecutors’ Office’s Executive Manager, Carl Krasius—"

"Tell him that the Duke of Servette is here."

One of the guards exchanged glances with the other before entering the mansion and soon returned with a man.

I had hoped it might be baby. But of course, it wasn't. Baby wouldn't want to see me.

The man who came out was the mansion's butler. I asked him if baby was here and if I could see him.

"...Master has said that he will not receive any visitors."

At the butler's hesitant reply, I sank to the ground.

"Even so, I believe Master would welcome you if he knew you were here."

"No, it's fine..."

As the flustered butler tried to return inside, I instinctively grabbed him.

Baby had already refused to see visitors. He might think I was disregarding him again if the butler told him that I was here.

I couldn't afford to make him hate me more.

"How long is he staying here?"

"He will return to the academy tomorrow morning."

"I see..."

He would leave in the morning. That meant that he would come out of the mansion then.

If so, then I would wait. I could wait until morning to see baby.

I could wait as long as it took if it meant seeing him.

***I barely closed my eyes before I had to open them again. Please, let me sleep a bit.

But the butler’s face, looking as if he'd seen a ghost, and the urgent news that the Duke of Servette had arrived was enough to make me give up on sleep.

I clearly said that I wouldn’t accept visitors.

The anger that had slightly subsided thanks to Yuris's advice flared up again. The added discomfort felt like being hit in the same spot twice.

It wasn't time for us to meet yet. I had stormed out to clear my head, even at the risk of seeming rude. Meeting now, with my emotions still raw, wouldn't lead to any good outcome.

That was why I had refused any guests. And yet here I was, about to face her.

"Butler, I told you to refuse any visitors."

"I'm sorry, Master, but I felt that it was necessary to inform you."

I considered ignoring it, but seeing the butler so flustered was rare. There had to be a good reason.

As I walked toward the front gate, I kept thinking about what I should say to the Mage Duchess.

Should I apologize for seeing her despite saying I wouldn't? No, that would sound too sarcastic.

Should I ask her what right she had to come here? No, that was too confrontational. I wasn’t ready to forgive her, but I didn't want to fight her, either.

Should I simply say that I couldn't host her and ask her to leave? That seemed like the best option.

—Or so I thought.

"Ah, baby..."

When I saw her, all the scenarios I had rehearsed vanished. Every plan crumbled into nothing.

The Mage Duchess, who was normally a symbol of elegance with her radiant white hair, looked far from her usual self. She was disheveled and dirty, and her clothes were torn here and there.

And there she was, sitting forlornly on the ground, barefoot. The guards didn't dare touch the noble duke and merely hovered nearby.

What the hell...?

I was shocked. I had felt anger and resentment toward the Mage Duchess, but seeing her like this stirred conflicting emotions.

I had hoped that she would regret her actions and apologize. Not now, but someday. I wanted to see repentance, not her ruin.

"...Your Grace."

I didn't want to see her cower in fear at my words, either.

A sigh escaped me. Even though a sigh might intimidate her, I couldn't hold it back.

Damn it.

The weather was almost wintry, and it was late in the day. She even walked barefoot in this cold, so it was no wonder her feet were in bad shape. They looked dirty and scraped, and it was clear that she was injured. Anyone could see the bloodstains near her knees.

The Mage Duchess hurriedly explained when I just sighed and remained silent.

"Ah, baby. You said you wouldn't receive any visitors, so I planned to wait until you came out, until morning..."

Another sigh escaped me. If she had grabbed the butler by the collar and demanded to see me, then it wouldn't have been this pitiful. But what, wait until morning? In this weather? And on the bare ground?

I looked at the Mage Duchess as she sat on the ground. Spending the night like that, what was she thinking—?

Shit.

My gaze fell on the item she was clutching. Seeing it, I couldn't stay still any longer.

"The wind is cold."

She was holding a white comb that contrasted with her disheveled appearance.

It was nothing much, just the first gift I had ever given her.

"Let's talk inside."

However, she was holding that insignificant gift so preciously.

How could I treat her coldly after seeing that? Even if she hadn't had the comb, she was in no condition to be left outside.

"Y-Yes, I understand."

My voice was blunt, but the Mage Duchess, with teary eyes, quickly got up at my words.

She stumbled as soon as she stood, falling forward.

"Y-Your Grace!"

"Are you alright!?"

The guards, moved by her pitiful state, rushed to help. However, the Mage Duchess just waved them off while groaning.

This was driving me crazy. How did she end up like this? She had only left the tower a few hours ago, and yet she was already in this state.

"Your Grace, I'll help you."

I approached the Mage Duchess, who was struggling to support herself in trembling hands. She clearly couldn't stand on her own.

"I-I'm fine. There's no need to—"

"Excuse me."

Even a passing escaped convict would feel compelled to help if they saw her like this. How could she say that she was fine?

Ignoring her protests, I carefully lifted her. Her tear-filled eyes looked blankly at my face.

"...Guests should follow the host's lead. Don't talk nonsense."

They were words that accepted and acknowledged her as a guest.

Hearing those words, the Mage Duchess bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears.

This was really driving me crazy.

***I took the Mage Duchess to my room instead of the reception room. I had been preparing for bed so the room was warm—perfect for warming the chilled Mage Duchess.

Saying it like that made it sound like I was dealing with a corpse, which felt oddly unsettling.

"Master, I've brought it."

"Good work."

Not long after, the butler came in with a basin and wet towels.

"Yuris and Sophia will be here soon—"

"No need. I'll handle it."

"Understood. Please call me if you need anything."

With the butler gone, it was just the Mage Duchess and me in the room. Glancing at her, I saw her sitting on the bed, fidgeting nervously.

She looked even more pitiful under the brighter light. The noble Mage Duchess looked worse than a defeated soldier.

"How are you feeling?"

When I gently asked, the Mage Duchess’s wandering gaze snapped to me.

"Oh, um, yes, I'm fine."

"I know you're not, so close your eyes for a moment."

I wasn't expecting her to say that she was fine, so I lightly ignored it.

Looking a bit dazed, she closed her eyes quietly. Then, I carefully wiped her face with a towel. Though I couldn't erase the signs of crying, I could at least clean off the dirt.

After her face, I moved to her hair, arms, hands, knees, and legs, wiping away any dirt I found.

"B-Baby. I can do it..."

"Be quiet."

I cut off the Mage Duchess’s unneces1sary protests. I had already been rude to her today, so a bit more wouldn't make much difference.

There’s blood.

Seeing her crimson-stained knees made me feel even worse.

I could see the faint outline of her wounds through her clothes, but it was a mess upon closer inspection. Her knees were scraped, and blood was running down her legs.

She flinched with every light touch, indicating that these were fresh wounds from falling multiple times.

"...Why did you come?"

When I thought about her running all the way here and how many times she must have fallen, I couldn't speak kindly.

"I told you not to come and that I wouldn't see you. Why didn't you just ignore this rude bastard?"

An unranked noble's heir declaring a severance from a duke was enough to wound anyone's pride. And yet, the Mage Duchess came to see me, to say something to me.

And looking at the pitiful Mage Duchess, I could guess what she wanted to say.

"How could I..."

I heard her voice from above my head, mixed with sobs as it cracked.

"How could I ignore the wounds I inflicted on baby...?"

Now, even her sobs were audible. She had held back her tears outside, but now, with just the two of us, she didn't even try to hold back.

"...I'm sorry."

Hearing that, my hands paused while cleaning her feet.

"I thought it was for you, that you'd like it. I decided that... all by myself..."

As the Mage Duchess continued, I felt something wet drop onto my head.

It wasn't hard to guess what it was. It could only be her tears.

"I should have talked to you. I shouldn't have decided alone... I should have talked to you, too..."

Her sobs grew louder, and the tears falling on my head increased.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry...!"

Despite her desperate apology, I didn't look up.

The wounds on her feet were severe. If I wasn't careful, it would hurt her even more.

Damn it.

I think I might be going crazy.