Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

If it was any other day, a decent number of our soldiers could tolerate hellish training for a day but doing it in succession—and in our case, a full fucking week—it'd spell all sorts of trouble for everyone. However, at least half of the boys present laughed it off because a good number of them couldn't tolerate the alcohol content in Oscar's Homebrewn Mead.

Better yet, it could just be the fatigue setting in and the alcohol just adding bits to it because it wasn't even an hour before all of them fell asleep to wherever they were sitting on.

Oscar cackled, "Buncha fucking lightweights, I tell ya!"

Matthew took another sip of mead before chuckling, "We should line them up, at least. Sleeping like that gave me back problems."

Johnny shook his head, "They're young, they could do it a bunch of times more compared to us."

"No, no, that's the problem… like alcohol, it just adds up bit by bit and you get all sorts of problems when you're fucking over 30. Imagine— no, I believe you know what I mean since we're all at this age."

I cut in, "True~"

"BAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"DUMBASS!"

"YOU IDIOT, JUST COME HELP ME LINE 'EM UP, AT LEAST!"

"Yeah, yeah… Ahaha…"

To my surprise, everyone didn't even wake up once while we were moving them onto these bunch of comforters we laid out in Oscar's living room, and they didn't even roll around or anything as they were completely knocked out. And after I took a few pictures for blackmail, I sat back down with the old-timers and Oscar offered me one of his cigars.

"Nah, I'm good but thanks…"

"Suit yourself…"

"Anyway, what do you have in store for them tomorrow?"

"I don't actually know since the schedule's messed up. Why'd you two fucks have to join in? I understand your need to show off but Tatiana should've been the one teaching them tomorrow!

I don't want any of them to suffer severe injuries because Jesus, running five kilometers is already difficult for some people and you made them run a fucking ultramarathon—and that's on top of the psychological shit you put them through! How about I give them the best day of their lives so they'd switch alliances from you to me?"

"Haah?"

Johnny chuckled, "As if that'll work…"

Matthew interjected, "What are you gonna do? Make them fire a bunch of guns on a random herd?"

Oscar shrugged his shoulders, "Wouldn't that be fun?"

"It's fun but a huge waste of bullets."

I nodded, "Don't forget you donated a third of your armory to them—I've seen you fight tooth and nail for a .22 short missing and you handout shit like that even though we've uncovered more in the Marine Base's armory."

Oscar rolled his eyes, "It's my guns, I do whatever the hell I want with them. Besides, those guns are doing their work over on that side. It's much better than them sitting here and collecting dust, no?"

I've never been so confused, "You already drunk, old man? All these years I've known you— you're the stingiest motherfucker I know! And that's besides me!"

"BAHAHAHA! That is true… I dunno, really. It's like giving back despite giving everything to them and then some. The little Admiral even gave me a full cycle of shots which I hear you—and even my fucking daughter turned down… I can't say I'm surprised but I'm kind of glad—"

I cut in, "Hold up, which shots did he give you?! Did you already take them?! WHY?!"

At that moment, Matthew and Johnny—who I assume were already informed of them by Oscar—kept quiet while Oscar just shook his head as he took one more puff from his cigar and a swig of alcohol.

"Haaa… I'mma need some stronger stuff for this—"

"You—"

"Settle down, alright?! I'm not like you! You're fucking young and full of life— fuck it, overflowing with it and I probably had a decade or so left to live before I became a decrepit fuck so I'm sorry for taking shit that'd give me a slight edge and make me enjoy life a little better! It's my body kid, alright?!

Only I know what I'm going through and YOU very well know that I'd rather go out with a bang than live the quiet life— It's Project Valhalla for fuck's sake!"

It took me a few seconds to control my breathing before I replied:

"It's— Haaa… FUCK! The fuck did you take anyway?! Lemme guess, something for your bones like Bartow and the Admiral?! You're fucking old, it's supposed to do that—"

"HEY! You cuttin' a little deep but my bones are good as it is! I took something else—"

"Then what is it?! If it's for erectile dysfunction, I swear to fucking—"

Oscar looked like he didn't know whether to strangle me or slam my head on the table as he shouted:

"It took the one for my noggin' and the one for my lifespan! If I'mma live those extra couple of years, my head should be able to keep up with it! It's not much to you but it's a fucking lot to me! It's also something you have no fucking idea about! You can probably remember yourself swimming in your mother's womb before you were even born!"

"YOU—"

"Hey! You took shots at me, I can take shots at you! That's how it goes!"

"...fine. But—"

"But what, kid? It's already done. The one for my lifespan's a single shot and the one for my head's every two months— I already took them before you arrived and was just waiting for the Admiral to tell you before we have this conversation."

I shook my head, "I still hate being surprised like this… These bunch of secrets popping up one after the other is insane."

"It IS classified government secrets. They're supposed to be hidden—"

"I know, but—"

"You have secrets of your own, kid. And I respect you not telling me each one of them so yeah, don't be mad if I have secrets of my own. It's not a one-way street, alright?"

I let out a long sigh, "And all I got from it was a cool freezer…"

"Psh! That's a fucking lie and you know it. The Chinook, the drone, and most importantly, the authority to—"

"I know, I know, just making a lame joke…"

"..."

"..."

"Anyway, I just got my bloodwork done when we arrived and we'll see in a few days if there's anything wrong with me."

"We already know you're an annoying piece of shit, why'd you even get tested—"

"YOU! WANT ME TO STICK THIS BOTTLE UP YOUR ASS?!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!/ JESUS FUCKING CHRIST…/ Those boys are still not waking up, Jesus…"

Oscar took another swig, "You fuckin' assholes, I'm just the perfect candidate alright? I'm this old and don't have much to live. If it doesn't work, I'll give you all the rights to study my body and if it does, you fucks will regret not taking it. Just my two cents."

Johnny rolled his eyes, "Oh, gee~ As if I was given an offer, huh?"

Matthew looked surprised, "You'd take that shit?"

"You won't?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm with the kid on this one."