Crimson Instinct

Chapter 247: Confrontation of feelings

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***

A few hours later, Ying Yue entered Rodey's ward. He seemed to be resting.

She bit her lip and felt nervous. After he realized that she gave him her blood to survive, Rodey hadn't spoken a word to her.

Slowly stepped inside and sat beside him. She had brought a food container with her that she kept aside on the table.

Rodey had his eyes closed and was evenly breathing. As she looked closely, she saw his injured condition. His abdomen was bandaged entirely, and there were some minor wounds here and there.

Her heart ached to see all those injuries.

Ying Yue looked at him. She thought for a moment and raised her hand, and slowly approached his head. She kept her palm on his forehead and was gently patting it back and forth.

Suddenly, Rodey held her wrist and opened his eyes. She felt a little flustered.

"Hi...I thought you were sleeping. How are you feeling now? Should I call the doctor?"

He stared at her for a long time, saying nothing.

She felt a strange pressure with his unblinking gaze, so she quickly said, "You must be hungry, right? I brought food for you."

Rodey's sight fell on the container. "You made it?"

She nodded and quickly set his plate. Rodey took a bite and looked at her.

Ying Yue nervously asked, "How is it? Y-you, don't have to eat it if you don't like it."

He snorted. "Of course, I won't torture myself if I don't like it. But this is fair enough."

She sighed in relief.

"Though the prawns are still tasteless as usual."

"..."

"You didn't improve there at all."

"..."

"The only redeeming thing about this food is the curry rice."

"..."

"Do you have problems cooking meat and protein?"

Ying Yue's face flushed. "I am still learning on that."

Though she was a good cook, some areas just weren't her forte. Baking was also one of them, along with cooking protein.

Even though Rodey just dissed most of her food, he still kept eating it as if the taste didn't bother him at all.

Silence.

There were a lot of things they wanted to say. Ying Yue hadn't forgotten how Rodey confessed just before he passed out. Even now, she felt that it was a dream, so she wished to ask him about that.

Does he really mean it? Does he remember what he said to me or

She hoped he hadn't forgotten about it though there were chances that he could since he was hurt so badly, and there was just so much confusion that the memory might have slipped.

Ying was stealing glances at him, but she couldn't muster up the courage to ask. She was curious, nervous, and anticipating but afraid as hell.

"Why did you do that?"

His deep, questioning voice snapped her out of her stupor.

She blinked her eyes. "What did I do?"

Rodey felt annoyed. "That blood thing! Why the fuck you gave your blood to me? I could care less if I died."

Ying Yue froze.

"Your blood is wasted on me. Are you a fool? Even if I survived, so what? I am not free anymore. My next stop is the jail. I would have rather died than living in some rotten cell for the rest of my life."

She couldn't say anything.

Rodey laughed. "Or what? Don't tell me that you didn't realize it? Do you think the law is so merciful enough to let me go after being involved in all those crimes? As soon as I step out of this ward, there would be officers ready with handcuffs to take me to my cozy spot."

Her lips trembled. She knew it would happen one day or the other but saying it aloud made her afraid to see that future unfold.

"So why? Why the hell would you waste your blood on a lowly criminal like me? Are you in your mind?"

Ying Yue clutched her dress. "But you saved me. You have saved me so many times that I have lost count. Yet I couldn't do anything to help you. You were already injured, but I could only hide behind you while you fought those men. I felt pathetic. I felt useless. You were fighting between life and death because of me. How could I have let you die?"

"Shut up!"

She was startled.

"I didn't do anything of that sort! Save? Don't make me laugh. I only kill people. I only know how to do that. Saving someone is not in my dictionary. I didn't owe you anything that you felt you needed to pay the debt. It was better if I had died. At least I wouldn't have to rot in jail like now, thanks to you."

Ying Yue looked straight at him with tears in her eyes. 

"I didn't help you just because I felt indebted."

"So what is your fucking reason?"

Her heart raced faster in her chest, and she clenched her fists.

"Because I love you."

Rodey froze.

"I saved you because I love you. Isn't that reason enough? Don't people do anything and cross all limits to save the ones they love? Can anybody watch their love die in front of their eyes? Isn't it why you helped me escape?"

Rodey stiffened.

"Don't spout nonsense!"

"Then make it clear. Why did you save me from that man who tried to assault me? Why did you want to take me out of the base? Why did you betray your boss you worked for so many years? Why did you fight even though you were so injured? Why did you push me away and take the stab for me?"

A tear trickled down her cheek. "Why did you say that you love me before you got unconscious?"

His body trembled. "Shut up!"

Rodey couldn't admit that he confessed because he really thought he would die. So, he had to let her know what he felt about her before leaving the world for good.

But he survived!

And what was the use? He was going to jail. What was the point of this love? Was he supposed to expect that she would wait for him forever?

That was foolish!