Dungeons and Dalliances

6.18 – How-To

"I think she's having a little too much fun bullying that poor guy around," Jordan said wryly.

"It's Natalie," Sofia sniffed. "Of course she's having fun showing off."

The two of them had managed to disentangle themselves from the small group of Tenet admirers. Mostly because Natalie was occupying the majority of their attention as she sparred with Gareth, that [Lumberjack] boy. She and Sofia had wandered off to one of the further-away dirt sparring grounds with the excuse that they wanted to warm up. Which wasn't a lie, but more than a spar, Jordan had wanted to separate herself from the crowd for a different reason. To speak with Sofia, alone.

"Show off? That's rich, coming from you," Jordan said amusedly.

Sofia tilted her head. "Huh? I don't brag."

"That's not what I mean," Jordan said. "Just, this morning, I remember a certain girl who was having way too much fun 'showing off'. Don't you?"

"Pardon?" It took Sofia a second longer to understand what Jordan was getting at. Jordan guessed the attempt at teasing was a bit of a stretch. But eventually, Sofia remembered the event in the train car. She started sputtering. "That was hardly me showing off. That was you doing so, on my behalf."

"Doesn't mean you weren't having fun with it. Hence, you're a hypocrite."

Sofia gaped at Jordan.

Jordan laughed at her. "Nah, but really, you two are more alike than you think," she said. "Natalie likes showing off her combat skills, and you like swinging your cock around for your friends. It's basically the same thing, if you think about it."

"S-Shut up," Sofia hissed, looking around to see if anyone was within earshot. "What's wrong with you?"

"Also," Jordan said. "I've been meaning to ask. We didn't go too far, did we? Or too fast?"

Sofia again oriented herself. She let out a long, exasperated sigh. "I refuse to do this a second time. Besides the fact that you already have, once before, Natalie also beat you to it."

"Oh. She did?" Natalie had checked in with Sofia about the incident in the train car? That announcement brightened Jordan's mood considerably. These two idiots really were making strides, weren't they? However difficult they could be.

"Don't grin at me like that," Sofia huffed. "But yes. We spoke." She crossed her arms. "And this is the last time that I'll say it. If I have a problem with what's happening, I can voice it myself. I promise you, my mouth is fully functional. It works perfectly fine."

"More than 'perfectly', from what I've seen," Jordan said, a mischievous smile pulling on her lips. "When do I get to try it out, anyway? Only Natalie's been so lucky."

Sofia's face reddened at record speed. Her mouth opened and closed before she managed to get it working again. "How do you manage to twist everything into some innuendo?" she asked, strangled. "And what are you implying, when do you get to try it?"

Jordan smirked at her, since it was rather obvious, but she didn't clarify. She looked over at Natalie, who was swinging that ridiculous hammer of hers around and gently—well, as gently as possible—battering Gareth from one end of their dirt sparring arena to the other for the amusement of their spectators.

"How are things going with you and her, anyway?" Jordan asked.

"Me and Natalie?"

"Yeah."

"Fine," Sofia said, sounding confused. "She's as irritating as always." She sniffed. "And certainly making good use of that stupid bet," she muttered. "At least the collar is progressing handily. You know both the 'minor Prowess' and 'minor Tenacity' have moved into 'moderate'?"

Jordan's eyebrows shot up. "Really? On a single piece of gear?" That'd make it one of their best items yet, then. Though with some high requirements to have gotten to that point. So fair enough.

"There's a reason I've been allowing Natalie to treat me like that," Sofia huffed.

Jordan paused, then gave her a look.

"What?" Sofia demanded.

Jordan shook her head in exasperation. "No, but really," she said. "How are things going with you two?"

"I haven't the slightest idea what you mean." Then, going on the offensive, Sofia asked, "What about you? What's going on with you two?"

Which was an effective tactic, as Sofia had known it would be. Jordan shifted in place as she also grew flustered. She considered how to answer—before deciding on honesty.

"Well. We're going on a date, soon. So good, I guess?"

Sofia blinked. Despite the question obviously being an attempt to disorient Jordan and deflect attention away, she reined herself in. "Oh. That's … exciting. Your first?"

"Our first."

Sofia considered that, then snorted loudly. "It's about time."

"Pardon me?"

"I can't believe you two aren't married yet, much less girlfriends," Sofia said, rolling her eyes. "It's ridiculous that it's taking so long." Then, her cheeks darkened, and she accused, "For that matter, with how busy you two have been, I'm surprised you don't have a kid coming."

Jordan blushed. "We're careful. You know that. Natalie has that potion."

"How much is left, anyway?"

"Plenty. She's barely dented the monster core."

"I bet you're quite grateful to the dungeon for giving you two that," she said dryly.

Jordan eyed her. Besides the obvious deflections, did Sofia really think she could out-fluster her? She wasn't going to win that game. "Yeah," she said shamelessly. "I am. It's so much better without a condom. Having her stuff that big, fat cock of hers into me, nothing to block the sensation. It's the most wonderful thing. Really, you should try—"

"J-Jordan," Sofia hiss-choked out. "Shut up! Are you serious? Someone might hear."

"Don't start fights you can't win," Jordan said, laughing—though her own face was flaming at her crudeness. "You would think as a duelist, you'd have learned that by now."

"The problem is, I always forget how disgusting you can be. Ugh." She shook her head. "How can you say something like that with a straight face?"

"It's easy. And stop deflecting," Jordan said. "I'm gonna ask one more time. How are things going with you and Nat?"

Sofia sighed. She was quiet for a few moments, before she finally sniffed. "As I said, the collar is progressing quite nicely."

Jordan groaned, but Sofia glared at her in response.

"Fine," Jordan said. "Whatever. Everything you two do is just for the bet, and the collar. But, and this is purely a hypothetical, if you did want more—say, to get that idiot to go on a date with you—it wouldn't be that hard. You know that, right?"

Sofia looked at her incredulously. "What makes you think I would want to go on a date with that irritating woman?" Before even finishing the sentence, though, she was trailing off. A few seconds of silence passed, and Sofia cleared her throat and asked, "A date?"

Jordan grinned at Sofia, who blushed furiously and looked away.

"Not that I'm interested in the slightest," she huffed. "Because what would a date do for the collar?"

"Hypothetically," Jordan continued. "It'd be stupidly easy to make happen. All you'd have to do is tell Nat that it doesn't feel right she's taking so much advantage of the bet without giving you a bit of the girlfriend experience. Maybe mention how, you know, she is your first, and that you want something a little lovey-dovey, once in a while. Just because it would make you feel better about, you know, being ravished." Jordan laughed. "Maybe flutter those big, blue, vulnerable eyes of yours, if you want to score a critical hit." She got briefly lost in amusement, imagining that exchange. "Watch how fast that idiot changes her tune. How quickly she scrambles to set up a date. I almost wish I could be there."

Sofia's face had grown even redder than before. Jordan rolled her eyes at that. Hinting at romance affected her more than outright throwing crude sexual comments into her face. What a shocker. This woman was way too easy to read.

"You think so?" Sofia asked.

"I know so," Jordan said. "And so do you. That girl is obsessed with you."

"No, she isn't."

"Just try it," Jordan repeated. "See what happens. You know, even though you're not interested."

Sofia stood there, face burning, clearly losing herself in her thoughts. Jordan didn't interrupt her, letting her stew. Finally, the girl squeaked and jumped, as if something especially embarrassing had popped into her head. It was unfortunate Jordan would never get to learn what it was. But she could make a few guesses.

"S-So," Sofia said, clearing her throat loudly. "We came out here to spar, didn't we? Not chatter endlessly?"

Jordan snorted and pulled out her daggers. She separated from Sofia, putting space between them. There was a limit to how much progress she could make in a given day. Pressing too much would have the opposite effect as intended, anyway. Just like with Natalie. Those two were more similar than they would ever admit.

It was in Sofia's hands, now.