Chapter 205: Chapter 202: Tiandao Disciple Begins_1
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Fang Ren looked at her emotional outburst, his heart conflicted, and said, "Actually, you have no need to care about how I feel. Except when we were both crying at birth, meeting for the first time without any memory, the time we've spent together from when we met to now is less than a month. Our current relationship is merely that of fiancés in name, without any real emotions invested.
We've also said that we wouldn't interfere with each other's choice of whom to like. Since we've agreed on that, why would you still feel aggrieved and impose upon yourself these meaningless considerations?"
Bai Qi immediately retorted, "First of all, I don't think the relationship between us is as simple as being unmarried fiancés only in name. Deep down in our hearts, we both have a strong sense of kinship towards each other. I have let go of all my guard against you just because of this familiar feeling!
It is precisely because of this sensation that I never want to hurt you in a fog, without fully realizing it! That's why I have been honest with you about everything, about what I want to do, my wilfulness, everything—I've told you! Yet now, with you knowing everything, the truth is that you are the one who has felt aggrieved first!"
Fang Ren turned away, avoiding her earnest eyes.
The root of the issue was his certain actions, which had misled the girl into thinking he liked her.
She kept saying she liked Song Mobei, but her actions constantly took into consideration his supposed "affectionate feelings" for her, Fang Ren thought, and perhaps it was because of that familiar feeling between them after all.
That sense of affinity, as far as his own most genuine feelings were concerned, manifested in not being guarded against Bai Qi and having no ill-intentions towards her, feeling that it was natural to treat her better and make her happy.
This was his "sense of affinity," but now, he suddenly realized a very important issue that he had never noticed before.
That was whether Bai Qi's "sense of affinity" towards him in her heart was stronger than his feelings? Could it be different from what he felt for her to the extent that it made her start to think more?
She said that before the engagement was dissolved, she felt like seeing Song Mobei was a betrayal to him.
Fang Ren did not share this sentiment; he thought that even without dissolving the engagement, it would be proper for him to share a bed with Mu Huanqing behind Bai Qi's back.
Suddenly aware of this, Fang Ren realized his previous thoughts might have been very wrong.
Bai Qi... perhaps she wasn't a girl fond of daydreams.
Only that the feeling she harbored for him in her heart was very strong.
To Fang Ren, being engaged was but a dispensable thing, carrying no real commitment.
But perhaps for Bai Qi, coupled with that strong sentiment she felt towards him, it represented a moral bind, where any divergence would amount to betrayal.
She was born into the great Bai Family, where her values should be upright. She shouldn't have regarded a marriage without affection so seriously or have resorted to wishful thinking, ideally.
...
All of this was because the feeling for him in Bai Qi's heart might not be just fondness, but a very complex form of loyalty that was intertwined with various personal emotions.
A tangle of thoughts suddenly left Fang Ren feeling powerless, and at that moment, he really wanted to tell Bai Qi everything about himself.
He wanted to say that a marriage between two people with no feelings was just a blank paper, that liking the person one should like during the existence of that paper wasn't betrayal.
He wanted to confess that he truly did not like her, and she did not need to concern herself with him—he and her Sister Hui Qing already had a child and even during the period when they had agreed not to betray each other, he had shared a bed with her Sister Hui Qing.
Fang Ren held back what he wanted to say and softly began, "You're mistaken."
"Where am I mistaken?" Bai Qi looked at him, her beautiful eyes now showing a hint of redness in their whites.
There was a grey Spiritual Root within her that had given rise to a multitude of complex feelings towards Fang Ren, to the point where she could not discern what exactly she felt. find-more-stories-on-MVLeMpYr
"You're afraid that one day, in my state of confusion, I'll be the one getting hurt. However, I have never considered your feelings," Fang Ren's gaze returned to her, and he continued, "In reality, the person who will end up hurt in a confused state on a later day won't be me."
"Then who will it be?"
"It's you."
Fang Ren had never told Bai Qi the truth, yet she had revealed all her matters to him.
The definition of "the confused one" was originally mistaken, and the truth was quite the opposite.
Bai Qi shook her head slowly, her mind in utter disarray, unable to comprehend anything Fang Ren was saying.
She sat down on the spectator stand's floor, her bloodshot eyes gazing out into the field at Song Mobei, feeling as if she were embodying the comments she had heard when she first walked in—from being one hundred percent Song Mobei to eighty percent Fang Ren.
The remaining twenty percent for Song Mobei, in the face of the multiplied Fang Ren, seemed to be overwhelmed by the tide, reduced to dust, carried away by the currents, its existence or nonexistence rendered irrelevant.
Fang Ren sat beside her, watching Song Mobei and Xia Fu Lan in the field, and said, "Maybe all the feelings in your heart right now don't belong to you, but instead come from the Spiritual Root that split from me to you. You don't have to be entangled with me over these emotions because they were originally yours.
You only need to like the person you want to like, and remain the way you were before we met. Those emotions are truly yours."
Bai Qi pulled down the brim of her hat, speaking in a low voice, "You are also mistaken."
"How so?"
"After I was born, aside from my mother and the doctors in the delivery room, the first person I saw was you—we met right from the start," Bai Qi said.
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"Neither of us has that memory," Fang Ren said.
"But many others do."
"...All right."
"You also got something wrong," Bai Qi said. "This is something my mother told me that I could not accept when I first learned of your existence. She said that in front of you, I'm destined to be inferior, always inferior no matter what. My pride and surprise at the time did not allow me to accept this. But having seen you, up to now, I have no choice but to admit it."
"Go on."
"Bai Qi of the Bai Family, Bai Jinyun's daughter, she originally didn't have the capability to exist in this world. It was Fang Ren's Spiritual Root that qualified her to exist.
In other words, there was no Bai Qi before; it was because of Fang Ren that there was one later." Bai Qi continued, "You say I should remain the person I was before I met you, but even that former version of me had your Spiritual Root within me, this emotion was inevitable. Just like what my mother said, I am destined to be inferior to you..."
After hearing this, Fang Ren was silent for a long time, repeatedly looking helpless, finally scratching his forehead and frowning as he spoke: "You girl... it's better if you stay naive. I can't quite adapt when you're this serious."
"You were the one who got serious first. I haven't understood a thing you said up to now," Bai Qi said.
"Okay, let's drop this topic for now. We can talk about it tomorrow or the day after," Fang Ren proposed.
"What's going to happen tomorrow or the day after?" Bai Qi asked.
Fang Ren stood up and withdrew his soundproofing True Qi, "Who knows."
Having said that, Fang Ren directly headed toward the spectator stands below, while Bai Qi remained seated, not intending to follow him down and meet that Brother Song.
...
"Princess Fulan must certainly be able to achieve an excellent result in the final," the Seventh Elder mentioned as he chatted with several Tiandao Sword Sect juniors, inevitably flattering the princess of the Tiandao Sword Sect.
Upon hearing this, a Tiandao disciple laughed and said, "Seventh Elder's words are actually a bit inappropriate."
"Oh?" the Seventh Elder looked puzzled, "Is it because..."
That disciple laughed and amplified his voice, "Just yesterday, junior Fulan successfully refined a Three-level pill! In this alchemy competition, junior Fulan is bound to win the crown!"
"Brother Sen Mo's words are not right. That was but a fluke and shouldn't be taken seriously and spread as truth," Xia Fulan immediately said with a smile when she heard her senior brother's words, "Besides, this alchemy competition has many hidden dragons and crouching tigers; my abilities are perhaps just mediocre."
Although she said this, in her heart, she couldn't help but want her senior brother to boast about her talent to others.
The voice of the disciple who shouted was very loud, attracting not only the law enforcement officials in the center of the venue but also the spectators in the stands discussing among themselves.
After hearing the disciple's words, the flattery on the Seventh Elder's face began to stiffen, and he couldn't help but break out in large beads of sweat on his forehead.
Still, with a smile, he said, "I didn't expect Princess Fulan, at only 25 years old, to be able to refine a Three-level pill. Truly astonishing. Congratulations, Princess Fulan."
The expressions on the faces of the spectators, upon hearing the shouting disciple's words, also became a bit stiff.
Winning the crown?
Where do you think you are, bragging like this?
You probably don't know what kind of monster has appeared in this competition segment, do you? Three-level pill? What's that? How long did it take to refine?
Have you ever seen a Fourth-level advanced pill refined in fourteen minutes and thirty-six seconds?
...
While the people in the stands had various comments they wanted to criticize with, the Tiandao Sword Sect members had ears too. Even if they whispered in the venue, they would be overheard.
"Er... Princess Fulan really is extraordinarily fortunate in the field of alchemy," one of the aristocrats managed to say with a forced smile, suppressing the awkwardness.
"Yes, yes, being able to refine a Three-level pill at only 25 years old, her talent is just too great!"
"This talent has already surpassed the achievements of that distinguished person from the past!"
...
The crowd continued their astonished chatter, with no choice but to play along with her bragging given her status and her theatrics.