Gardenia of Blooming Desire

Chapter 19: Eulogy of the Prince 7

Grand Duchess summoned me again after that horrendous punishment. My back was still painful and every step had me frowned in agony. What would she do after this? Was this not enough?

'Why are you frowning, Ramuja! This is what you choose!'

I kept that in my mind whenever I thought about this injustice. It was my own stupidity and carelessness that I was entangled with Young Lord. I could've been invisible and led a peaceful life in this mansion, but I jumped to this tiger den myself.

'Strangely, I regret nothing.'

When I saw Young Lord crying for me, I regretted nothing. I was still unsure whether he was just toying with me as usual. But deep down, I wished that he was not. I wished that tears were genuine.

I knew I was nothing but a slave, but was it wrong for me to have a hopeful thinking? To have someone laugh for me, cried for me, thinking about me would be wonderful.

'No, Ramuja! Think! Young Lord was the reason you got these wounds, who knows what would happen to you later!'

'Were you that easy? All that wounds and pain, you got softened by just his tears?'

'And I still didn't know the meaning of that golden flicker.'

No, I couldn't lower my vigilance. I still didn't know whether Young Lord decided to hurt me again or he was genuine. Also, that golden flicker

I saw that golden flicker, similar to Crown Prince's eyes whenever he met Young Lord. That golden circle around his pupil would flicker, sometimes covering the pupil until the black pupil completely transformed into golden. Other times, it would dissipate slowly until the golden circle was gone, leaving a pure dilated black pupil.

It was such a strange thing. First, I never saw people with golden circles in their eyes, only the royal bloods of Golden Camellia. That meant only the Royal Family and Grand duchy of Stormhill have the royal bloods right now.

Second, whenever they acted strange, their golden circle would flicker, dominating or disappear, as if everything was magical.

Third, I still didn't know whether Young Lord's golden flicker was related to me or not. Crown Prince's golden flicker related to Young Lord, it was really obvious. But Young Lord? Was that golden flicker meant that I had entered his eyes?

'No, what a funny joke that is.'

There was no way Young Lord would consider me as something more than a slave? What was more than that? Friend? Lovers?

I sneered hearing the term 'lovers'. There was never a time for us to develop such feelings, not even as friends. All our times together were filled with Young Lord's maliciousness and all the people behind him toying me with their absolute power. Me? I could only cower.

The maid escorted me to Grand Duchess' room. The ominous aura already numbed my brain and what left was the fear of this beautiful, but vicious woman. I opened the door and the guard kicked my shin, so I kneeled instantly.

"T--this slave heed to Her Majesty Grand Duchess' summon," I greeted her. She was with her condescending gaze as always, but today, she didn't look vicious. In fact, she looked calm with a slight smirk on her lips.

"How was the whip? I had delivered the best medicine for your wounds," Grand Duchess said, she smiled, but her smile was never beautiful in my eyes. It was always hidden with cruel intention.

"This slave had wasted such precious medicine. This slave is unworthy," I said humbly.

"Indeed, you are unworthy."

I shrunk. The ominous feeling was getting closer to the truth, and I already imagined another punishment.

"What? You still dare to show scared expression in front of me?" Grand Duchess jeered, "This indecent slut dared showing me frightened expression after all what he did to my plan? How insulting."

I immediately prostrated. The fright almost took my consciousness away, but I tried to hold myself, "This slave dared not insulting Her Majesty Grand Duchess! This servant does not know--"

"Oh, shut it!"

Crack!

I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head. Grand Duchess threw the porcelain teacup to my head until the teacup cracked. The pain numbed me as my consciousness slowly drifted away.

Whack!

The guard kicked my stomach with leather boots. I regained my consciousness and squirmed in pain, this, another of this torture. I had experienced it countless times back then, so I just numbed my entire body and let the agony take over.

After Grand Duchess was satisfied, she let me wail in pain on the cold floor.

"Well, even though I would love to do more than this. But I guess it was enough to ease the atmosphere, don't you think so?" Grand Duchess chuckled.

She threw a bag of gold and said, "I am going to give you yet another generous offer, take the gold and leave the duchy. Do not worry, I will not leave you getting mauled by wolves in the deep jungle. I will put you as a regular working slave in a plantation under grand duchy."

'Is this another choices that will lead me to another torture?'

I lowered my gaze and rolled my eyes silently. It seemed like Grand Duchess loved torture and I was her current source of amusement.

"Or you could leave with your beloved Young Lord, but I will tell him everything about you, with some minor addition to spice up the story of course."

I chilled when she mentioned the second choice. Different from her previous trap, Grand Duchess gave me two steep options, and both were disadvantageous for me.

"Pardon this slave's inability, why does Her Majesty Grand Duchess offer this slave these options?" I asked her.

"I am giving you an offer to save yourself. My son will leave this mansion for two or three years to the royal palace for his training."

'Leaving the mansion? Why? And how about me?'

"This slave is imbecile, it does not know why Young Lord needs to leave the mansion"

"I am not such an idiot to share my secret with a slave. But you had triggered everything and left as blind man, how ignorant," Grand Duchess mocked. I cowered again, "Hmph, I can dispose you right away right now, but I do not want to have a fight with my own son just because something useless, so I'm giving you the best offers I could give to such trash."

Another degrading word came out of her beautiful, pink lips. I was not concerned about that. I was concerned about my involvement as the reason why Young Lord needed to leave. I was unsure how I would affect anything, but if Grand Duchess had said something, then it would be a fact.

The fact that I am responsible for what happened to Young Lord right now, Grand Duchess must have hated me to the bone.

'Will Young Lord be fine? How could I save myself while Young Lord was alone there?"

I was Young Lord's personal slave, it was natural for me to follow him everywhere, even to the depths of hell.

'And I promised to follow him forever.'

But the price I had to pay to follow Young Lord was letting him know everything about my past. My history as sex slave, used by many men, beaten to pulp, then sold again. He would know my other nasty names from my previous masters. He would know that I am worse than filth. I am the worst kind of trash. Grand Duchess would even add some more misleading information to provoke Young Lord. It was the worst thing that could happen.

'But, leaving Young Lord for two or three years would he think of me as a traitor?'

I had no other way out. I couldn't refuse Grand Duchess' offer, and I could still meet Young Lord two or three years from now. I gritted my teeth.

'In the end, I couldn't even stay true to my words.'

"This slave" my words stuck in my throat, I took a deep breath and finally said; "This lowly slave picked the first choice"

Grand Duchess' finally showed a satisfied smile, "I know you are not as imbecile as it looks like. You will leave the duchy tonight, a horse carriage will escort you to your new place."

"This slave thanked Grand Duchess for her graciousness."

"You will leave immediately. You cannot say anything to my son and you cannot enter his room even if he summons you."

" This slave understands."

The guard kicked me out of the room. As I walked through the corridor, I could feel someone was watching me from somewhere. I had intention to go to Young Lord's room, but the feeling of being watched made me hesitate. So, I just left to the worker's hut.

Jean and Dirk were still working, I rarely talked to them but they helped me numerous times.

'I'm sure they will be okay.'

I opened the window in the room and saw the east tower, Young Lord's tower.

'Young Lord will be okay. He will be in the royal palace. Crown prince will protect him and stay with him'

Whenever I remembered the Crown Prince, the stuffy feeling inside my heart hurt again. I was envious of the fact that Crown Prince had all the time in the world for Young Lord.

I knew Young Lord had played me, tortured me, and treated me no more than a subhuman slave. But I couldn't disclose the fact that I still wanted to stay with him.

'Sure thing, Ramuja. You are such an idiot.'

I closed the window and took all the clothes Young Lord ever gave me. I had no memoirs of him, but at least, these clothes were gifted to me by his order.

That night, I went inside the carriage with the clothes and the sack of gold given by Grand Duchess. I sat and stared at Young Lord's tower until his tower was far enough to leave my sight.

'Until we meet again, Young Lord.'

Under the clouds of the night,

Not one star escorted me

The wail was no more,

Only the marks lasted

Under the clouds of the night,

I remembered you

The pain you made was no more,

Only you lasted.