Hollywood: The Greatest Showman

Chapter 229: Stopping at the Critical Point

Watching Jennifer's boyish actions, Renly couldn't help but chuckle. Felicity, walking beside him, looked up and asked, "What's up?"

"Jennifer is so full of youthful energy, isn't she?" Renly sighed softly, the smile on his lips growing wider.

Felicity scrutinized Renly. Under the streetlights and moonlight, his features seemed hidden in shadows, unclear. Whether it was her illusion or the effect of the night, she caught a glimpse of weariness between his brows, a weariness tempered by the passage of time and experience.

Felicity shook her head, denying her judgment. "You're only twenty years old, aren't you?"

Renly paused. Twenty years old. That free-spirited, reckless youth seemed so far away now. Even though he was sprinting toward his dreams, steadfastly holding onto his inner determination, he could never return to being twenty.

"No, I'm about to turn twenty-one." Renly turned to look at Felicity, a hint of teasing in his eyes, as if complaining about her "untimely" remark.

That one look made Felicity laugh, her heart fluttering. The stirring inside her grew stronger, almost uncontrollable, about to take root and sprout. She gazed into Renly's eyes, his thick eyelashes casting sparse shadows. The deep brown of his eyes was almost hidden, revealing just a faint glimmer, making her heart contract and her breath stop.

Thump, her heart skipped a beat.

Renly stopped in his tracks, noticing the glow in Felicity's eyes, like moonlight rippling in clear spring water, bright and cold, yet blooming like fireworks. Her clear eyes reflected his face, his slightly upturned lips, and his heartbeat, not intense but distinct, pounding against his chest, real and joyful.

His peripheral vision caught her soft lips, the cherry-colored sheen intoxicating in the night. Renly stepped closer, closing the distance between them, their bodies aligning, and kissed her.

Soft met soft, stiff met stiff, and heat met heat. The wonderful chemistry fused them into one, all the surrounding light fading away, leaving just the two of them. The thunderous heartbeat echoed in their ears, silencing all other noises, leaving only the "thump" sound.

Their breaths intermingled, the dry, woody scent of Renly and the delicate jasmine scent of Felicity entwining, almost reaching a boiling point. The soft touch and hard barrier of their lips and teeth were palpable, their spirits and consciousness entwining.

They parted.

Her soft lips were slightly swollen, the cold air rushing in like a flood, making her feel the night's chill from her lips to her cheeks to every pore of her body. The drastic temperature change made them both shiver, but they couldn't react in time, gasping for breath to cool their almost exploding lungs.

Felicity then felt Renly's strong shoulders, almost crushing her frail frame. When his arms loosened, her legs nearly gave way, her body seemingly melting into that scorching heat. The feeling of breaking through the surface after drowning made her avoid his eyes in panic, her heart racing out of control. She didn't dare look at Renly, not even at his arm or shirt, only able to close her eyes.

Her chaotic mind couldn't think clearly. She took a half step back, finding her body trembling with excitement and thrill that wouldn't dissipate. This was more wonderful than she had imagined. But she couldn't let this continue.

Felicity clenched her fists, forcing herself to calm down, even though her mind was screaming, her body responding, and every cell was exhilarated. She had to calm down.

Looking down at the damp road, unsure if a sprinkler had just passed or if it had rained before they came out, Renly's black Converse sneakers came into view. She recalled the scene of him sitting on the bed without shoes earlier. His socks were black, without fancy patterns or lint, just simple, clean black.

Stop! She had to stop!

Felicity knew she was crossing the line. The boundary between the film's illusion and reality was blurring, the scents of Renly and Jacob indistinguishable, making her heartbeat and feelings alarmingly real. That kiss just now had broken the boundary, and she couldn't continue making mistakes.

From the moment she decided to become an actress, Felicity knew people weren't machines. They couldn't just detach and stay calm on command. Countless instances of blurred lines between reality and acting happened in Hollywood, unrelated to acting skills but personal feelings.

But Felicity didn't expect this day to come so soon.

The kiss just now was too wonderful, like a dream she didn't want to wake up from. The more wonderful it was, the more she knew it was wrong. The intense chemistry was breaking down the barriers established by film performance, blurring the lines. If left unchecked, things would only worsen.

"I like you," Felicity said, eyes closed, teeth clenched, summoning all her courage. After speaking, she felt a sense of relief. "As Felicity, I like Renly, not just as Anna likes Jacob. Honestly, I can't distinguish between reality and acting... but this is how my heart feels. Yes, I like you."

Felicity opened her eyes, looking at Renly again. She saw a faint, joyful smile in his deep eyes, not intense but rich, like the first light after the Big Bang, making her heart race. "No, listen to me. If I'm interrupted, I won't have the courage to continue." She sensed Renly wanting to speak—or maybe it was her imagination, but she couldn't worry about that now. She had to say it all in one go.

"But I know this is wrong. Work is work, life is life. We can't confuse the two," Felicity said without pausing, needing to finish before Renly could interrupt. "More importantly..." Felicity bit her lips and continued, "I have a boyfriend in London. I know, I should've said this before the kiss, but everything happened too fast. That's my fault."

"We've been together for six years. He's great, everything is great. He's an artist who recently finished a job and came back. He found work in Los Angeles designing sets for 'The Big Bang Theory,' so we don't live apart, just constantly flying back and forth. We're not Jacob and Anna. My point is, we're great, everything is great. I love him. Yes, that's it."

Felicity knew her words were a jumbled mess, lacking coherence, but she had to say them. She also knew she was presumptuous; maybe the kiss didn't mean much to Renly, maybe it was just him not shaking off the filming mood. But she had to say it, for her own sanity and because she liked Renly as a person and a friend.

After "Like Crazy" ended, she hoped to remain friends with Renly. Even if not, she didn't want things to be awkward. So, she knew her confession was selfish, foolish, and neurotic, but she had to say it.

After finishing, Felicity waited for a response but heard nothing. After a long wait, she cautiously opened her eyes and saw Renly standing there, a slight, teasing smile on his lips.

Felicity didn't know what reaction she expected from Renly, but not this.

"Phew... that's a relief," Renly said with a faint smile, leaving Felicity confused. Did she misunderstand? "I thought you were going to say that kiss was awful or that you have bad breath. You know, those are terrifying criticisms for someone involved, especially for a man." Renly lowered his voice slightly, "Men have this inexplicable pride and dignity. So, no criticism is the best news tonight."

Seeing Renly's relieved expression, Felicity was momentarily stunned, then burst into laughter. "Renly!" She was serious, but his teasing dispelled all awkwardness, leaving no trace of romance or tension. She didn't realize she was smiling again.

"I'm serious," Renly said, eyes twinkling with laughter but maintaining a serious tone.

Felicity looked at Renly, who looked back at her. They paused briefly, then both laughed, the light laughter spilling from their lips.