How To Survive as a Villain

The granary of the Southern Yan Kingdom was completely burnt down, giving the exhausted soldiers of the Northern Kingdom a chance to catch their breaths. For the next three days, all of the soldiers in the Northern Kingdom defending the border city were mourning, as if they were about to blend into the snow.

Another three days passed until the war news reached the Imperial Palace.

The Minister was trembling as he presented the report: “Your Majesty, General Xie has successfully sent the Military rations to the border, but General Li, he… He…”

When the Minister’s words weren’t finished, Xiao YuAn’s chest suddenly began to ache, which made his brow frown and he could hardly breathe. He tightly grasped his chest above his heart as he heard the voice listing off all his vain attempts to change the fate of the Northern Kingdom. This was also the voice of the Northern Kingdom’s demise.

“Your, Your Majesty…. General Li, he….”

Xiao YuAn closed his eyes wearily. The Minister didn’t need to finish his words, because he already knew what he was about to say.

Li Wuding has rebelled.

“General Li, he… led three thousand Elite soldiers to sneak into the enemy barracks, trying to rob their granary, but…. But… They were caught in the enemy’s trap, and all, the whole army was destroyed… No-none, none of them survived.”

Xiao YuAn suddenly opened his eyes and abruptly stood up as if submerged in a trace. He was short of breath and his lips were pale and trembling: “You… What did you say… Wh….”

Before he could finish his words, Xiao YuAn suddenly gurgled violently, red blood flowing out of his mouth and spilled all over the ground. This scene shocked the eyes, and astonished the heart¹.

“Your Majesty!!!” There were several people alarmingly shouting around him.

Xiao YuAn covered his bleeding mouth, only to feel his ears ringing and his head exploding. He found himself unable to hear anything, as if there was a huge depression inside his heart, clogging up his body with strangling pain.

How could this happen?

Wasn’t Li Wuding the second Male Lead?

How could he die just like that?

Why wasn’t there treason and why were all of them killed in the battlefield instead?

All of a sudden, Xiao YuAn’s eyes were filled with Hong Xiu. She stood in front of the window, the pear blossoms silently falling like snow. She turned her head to look at Xiao YuAn and smiled at him: “Your Majesty.”

Xiao YuAn took a sharp step back and looked up again, his eyes were full of helplessness and despair.

Did he really change anything? Like the death of Hong Xiu? Why, why, why was it like this? He was just trying to protect the Northern Kingdom, but why did more people have to die every single time?

His ears heard a hissing sound that exploded inside Xiao YuAn’s mind, like a jiejiejie’s² sly laugh, mocking his incompetence and the fact that he had three thousand more life debts hanging on his shoulders.

After a few days of hard work and continuous blows, Xiao YuAn finally couldn’t hold on anymore. An empty blackness surrounded him as he slowly fainted on the ground.

When Xiao YuAn woke up, he immediately saw Princess Yongning sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes were red from crying. When she saw that he finally woke up, she asked him in panic as she sobbed: “Imperial Brother, how’re you feeling? Are you alright?”

Xiao YuAn reached out his hand and gently caressed her hair: “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Princess Yongning lowered her head and rubbed the corners of her eyes. She almost burst into tears once again.

“Ning’er, can you promise me something?” Xiao YuAn braced himself to sit up on the bed.

“Yongning promises, as long as Imperial Brother is well, Yongning will promise anything.” Princess Yongning raised her head.

Xiao YuAn laughed and his eyes became warm and watery: “No matter what happens after today, you must live and not seek death, do you understand?”

Princess Yongning looked puzzled, but still nodded her head, with a solemn and serious expression.

Xiao YuAn pressed his heart, that was still throbbing with pain, and asked: “How is the front line?”

“Answering to His Majesty.” A Minister by the bedside reported hurriendly: “Deputy General Xie has taken over General Li’s position, and has been reorganizing the troops and is in process of dispatching troops for revenge.”

Xiao YuAn gave a soft ‘hmmm’ as he leaned on the bed with his shoulders slightly collapsed, his lips slightly open and his eyes looking dispirited. He seemed to be thinking about something, and after a long silence, he spoke again: “I want to… go to the altar for sacrifice of the Temple of Heaven.”

The sacrifice of the Northern Kingdom required live sheep and pigs. After listening to this, the Minister replied: “Weichen will go and get everything prepared.”

Xiao YuAn said: “No, no need to prepare anything, just three incense sticks will do. I’m not offering a sacrifice to the Heavens.”

For a brief moment, the Minister was startled. When he came back to reality, he went to prepare the trip.

Later at dusk, despite his discomfort, Xiao YuAn went to the altar at the Temple of Heaven outside the Imperial City.

Ironically enough, the last time he came here, Yan HeQing was still by his side. As well as these ninety-nine steps, and the setting of the sun that seemed to dye everything in bloody red.

It was just a few months ago, but it felt like a lifetime had passed already.

Xiao YuAn knelt at the altar in the Temple of Heaven. The wind and snow was howling and the cold was piercing. Xiao YuAn, who was holding three incense sticks, took a deep breath of cold air as he kneeled down.

After worshiping for a while, he raised his eyes. His whole body was trembling and tears were flowing like a fountain. The thin snowflakes fell on Xiao YuAn, but it seemed that even that slight touch would crush him. The howling wind was strong, like the low roar of three thousand angry ghosts. Those mournful voices pressed on his head, asking him why he had let Yan HeQing go in spite of the safety of the Northern Kingdom. He murmured, his voice choked with weakness: “I’ve really tried my best, I’m sorry…. I’m sorry….”

In January, the snow brought down a great cold front.

Xie Chungui led the army, desperately fighting for two whole months. However, in the end, he was still defeated.

The Northern Kingdom was unable to regain their power.

And two days later, tens of thousands of horses and soldiers broke into the City walls.

That cliffhager!!!! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

And XYA suffering like this hurts my heart o(；△；)o … and now the Southern Yan Kingdom had finally won the war…

o(ﾟДﾟ = ﾟДﾟ)o !!!

Footnotes

1. 触目惊心 chù mù jīng xīn; It’s a Chinese idiom, it means to be shocked at the sight of a horrible situation / When describing something serious, it causes a sensation / Horrifying. From《昌黎集·贞曜先生墓志铭》(chāng lí jí·zhēn yào xiān sheng mù zhì míng), “Chang Li Ji: The Brilliant Teacher’s Epitaph”, written by (韩愈 hán yù) Han Yu [768-824], a essayist and poet, advocate of the classical writing and neoclassical movements from the Tang Dynasty [618-907].
2. 桀桀桀 jié jié jié; Is used as an onomatopoeia to describe the villain’s laugh, it’s the kind of laugh of a big traitor, evil people or demons likes to make / It’s often used in novels to describe a very unpleasant laugh.