Husband of the Goblin Tribe

[v2] Bonus Chapter – In which it may do well to have a sizeable recap chapter regarding all the residents of Goblinhome around this point…

The population of Gobinhome has come a long way in the roughly eight to nine months since I was first captured by the Bloodmaw. Were I to give a tour and break down who everyone is and where they reside in Goblinhome, I suppose it would go a little bit like this…

The outside clearing in front of Goblinhome which expands out Southward from the entrance is roughly the size of a baseball field surrounded by a thick border of trees. Dead center within the diamond, perhaps right around where the pitcher’s mound would be located is the Fire-pit. Even in the daytime, it is kept lit with wood from chopped-down trees. One tree can sustain the pit for about ten days or so. It’s pretty economical, all things considered. I know without it, I wouldn’t have been able to eat cooked meat and would probably be dead or suffering from who knows what kind of parasite infection.

Further south on the other side of the Fire-pit, a decent bit away to prevent accidents, is the Parkour course. It’s also something of a gauntlet meant to test the agility and dexterity of my daughters and wives who enjoy competing for top place. The current top five in order of quickest completion are Crow, Magpie, Button, Diana, and Prima. A special mention should go out to Bitey (Ebony’s pet bone-spider), who holds an official ranking of sixth place on the course.

Closer to the entrance of Goblinhome, facing North, on the left (West) side of the cave opening is a small chapel that has been extended from the stone and affixed with wooden doors. It’s known as Lumi’s Chapel and inside, there are plenty of wood benches and two statues of importance. The Goddess Elara—which is quite elaborately made from smooth stone, and The Creator of the Bloodmaw which… is a bit more simplistic in design.

Practically attached to the West side of Lumi’s Chapel is an area that had been tilled and prepared for some experimental agriculture. It’s mostly tended to by the Orcs, Pear, and occasionally fertilized by Kino (Chanterelle’s guardian mushroom). So far, it’s been growing our seed crops at a much faster rate than I would have expected, and thanks to that, there are now many vegetables to be had for mealtime, which makes me happy.

On the right (East) side of the cave opening is a small playground made mostly out of wood. There is a swing set with three individual swings, and a small tower to be climbed equipped with a very smooth stone slide so that no wooden splinters wind up in any little goblin butts on their way down.

That’s pretty much what’s to see outside of Goblinhome. The only other points of interest would be knowing the boundaries, which extend about two miles to the East, South, and West and are marked by a wide clear stream, a large rock formation, and a series of black-barked trees reminiscent of bamboo, though a bit thicker, and they have a proper leafy canopy at the top. There’s also a somewhat hidden area in the Western part of the forest that Button and I use for training purposes. Not sure who all knows about that…

Now, upon entering Goblinhome, heading inside about twenty or so steps are two caves immediately on either side. The left cave is the smaller of the two and is something of a junk drawer for the tribe. Inside are various things that aren’t quite interesting for a goblin to claim as their own and keep in their own cave-holes, yet either too lazy to throw away anywhere else outside of Goblinhome, or wholly unsure of whether it might be useful later and so keeping it in there for such a time would be considered smart thinking.

It has since been organized by Vera and Crow after the establishment of the Goblin’s Guild.

The other cave opposite it is the meat storage cave. Ever since I taught Vera about Formulaic Magic, and also created the first ice cube making magic tool some time ago, Vera has been given an established position in the tribe. She is responsible for handling the freezing and thawing of all meat hunted by the tribe to be eaten later. The whole cave has essentially been turned into a walk-in freezer with Runic Formulas on almost every square inch of the cave from the halfway point back. The front half is where most, if not all, of the butchery happens. It is regularly cleaned with water magic and the land is upturned so that there is no stagnant blood left laying about to cause any diseases (mostly to me).

A bit further down from those two caves are two more essentially right apart from each other. The first on the left is Prima’s residence. As the Guardian of the Bloodmaw Goblin Tribe, she lives there with her only daughter as of yet—Nova. Prima had been trained by the Tribe’s prior Guardian, a Goblin Champion by the name of Spear-hand, who by all accounts of any goblin who knew of her, was without a doubt, the strongest goblin they’ve ever known. I can confirm that she is exceptionally strong and almost matchless when holding a spear. However, she has a weakness; my special flesh spear which has been known to win many secret night battles against her.

As for my daughter, Nova. She’s quite excellent with a sword, much to Prima’s disappointment in not having a spear-using heir she could train relentlessly. Nova appears to not be possessed of magic yet can use a style of swordplay that utilizes Sound Runes to slash with like a hot knife through butter. I’ve personally gone up against her in a one-on-one fight and had my butt handed to me. Well, poked, anyway. Aside from a few quirks she has, I’m entirely supportive of her desire to not want to make strong-ones with me. While I could do without her calling me a shitty old man all the time, she is also the only goblin I can kind of relax with and be a bit crude. Nova appreciates a nice ass and a pair of titties just as much as I do. Were it not for the lack of penis on her, she’d make a wonderful son.

Across from Prima’s cave is my former adventuring party member Stella’s residence. It used to originally belong to Vera who Prima kept close by in order to take care of her to the best of her goblin sensibilities. It has since changed hands after Stella’s partial transformation into a goblin and Vera coming to live with me in the Breeding Room. If one has to compare the two most elaborate cave-holes in Goblinhome, the first would belong to Jewel, and the second would belong to Stella.

Feeling tremendous guilt for what occurred with Stella, I endeavored to give her the best possible life I could, taking into account our circumstances as members of the Bloodmaw Goblin Tribe, living in a primitive cave hidden away in the middle of some dreary forest. I have to say, aside from my own residence in this cave, I feel most relaxed in Stella’s, since it feels the most human. That being said, Stella has adapted perfectly to being a goblin now, taking the role of an adult hunter, and as a result of my handiwork, has become a mother much sooner than she anticipated. In fact, she’s also a grandmother as well.

Lumi is our first daughter (so far) who also lives in the same cave-hole as her mother. She’s had a rough go of it since her birth, being full of anger and hostility. She is the tribe’s first and only Saintess, believing wholly in the Goddess Elara over the Bloodmaw’s Deity—simplistically called The Creator.

While Motherhood and Daughterhood have been difficult for those two, things have changed for the better recently with the rather miraculously speedy conception and birth of Lumi’s and my daughter—Gremory. Gremory was born with wings, a tail, and two adorable little horns. Truth be told, she kind of resembles the Great Protector in more ways than I wish to acknowledge, but that won’t change the fact that she’s yet another of my precious daughters who I love with all my heart and soul.

I’ve recently begun further renovations to their room, expanding it with more bedrooms so as to make space for future daughters, as both Stella and Lumi have every intention of having many more of my daughters.

Moving down the cave a bit further, we come to Lily’s room on the right. She’s the original runt of the tribe, but as they say, fun things often come in small packages. Her room is rather unique as she prefers it to have a somewhat round shape. There are two parts to it, a sort of living room, and an attached bedroom. The walls of her bedroom are entirely comprised of cubby-holes and shelves. She currently lives here with our third daughter, Primrose. Our older two daughters—twins, Orchid and Lilac, live a bit further down the cave in the room I had initially created for Stella to occupy.

Lily’s job in the tribe is to go out occasionally and fetch leaves for the shit-pit (so we can wipe hygienically) and cover up obvious tracks any goblins might leave behind that can lead predators to encroach on Goblinhome. She’s also one of the few goblins who enjoy eating fire-meat, meat cooked over a fire, something that she didn’t have a taste for before our first intimacy. This extends to all of our daughters, and while we don’t exactly understand why that’s happened, I do enjoy eating deliciously cooked food together with them as a family.

Ah, speaking of family… to the Bloodmaw, family is called Clan. And after some recent events, I had the opportunity to make Lily part of mine. She’s quite happy about it, and has since become closer to Toy, who was the first goblin I became Clan with, entirely out of impulse.

Lately, I’ve heard Orchid and Lilac tell me that they are trying to convince Lily to move from her cave-hole into theirs, along with their little sister, Primrose. So far it hasn’t happened yet, but after the goings on of Diana Artemis and Berry, along with Stella and Lumi, it may yet come to pass.

A few steps past Lily’s cave hole on the right is Jewel’s residence. Jewel is an extremely clever and greedy goblin. Though she’s a goblin, I find her exceptionally attractive. She has long beautiful hair, plump tits, and an ass I can grab onto with both hands all day long as I try to violently force my seed into her womb and make her as double-pregnant as possible.

Ahem. Uh… where was I? Ah! Yes, her cave-hole is perhaps the one I’ve put the most effort into since I’ve been allowed to use magic. Gorgeous shelves carved into the walls, ornate treasure chests with secret compartments, all kinds of wall art and motifs engraved onto just about every piece of furniture. A comfortable raised bed, and really just about every luxury furnishing possible to be made in this place, I’ve somehow been coerced into giving her a better version of than what anyone else has.

One might think from the display of wealth and luxury that she’s the queen of the tribe.

Personally, I think it’s best to not argue that sentiment should such a topic ever come up.

Living together with Jewel are our two daughters who I haven’t been able to rightly determine are identical twins or fraternal. I say this only because though they look similar in appearance, the only real glaring difference is the color of their skin. Ruby has a reddish tone, and Jade has a greenish tone. There is supposedly a reason behind it, being that Jewel was up to some fuckery and had inserted some magic stones in a place she really shouldn’t and together with a healthy dose of my big-seed… voila!

Both Ruby and Jade possess impressive magic. They are also blessed (or cursed depending on how one looks at it) with magical affinities. Ruby has an affinity for fire-based magic and Jade has an affinity for wind-based magic. I have done my best to teach them the most suitable magics for each other, but I was also pleasantly surprised to learn they were capable of combining their magics. Nothing ground-breaking but it’s definitely in our favor that we have two goblins who can easily and recklessly conjure up a tornado made of fire.

Smokey the bear would be proud, I’m sure.

They are also cheeky little shits who would definitely be bullies on a playground or write slam books about other goblins they didn’t like. They are also daddy’s girls, too, and take advantage of me whenever they can, just like their mother. Really, the diversity to be found in my daughters already makes me feel like I’m living my best family man life!

Continuing on a bit further, we reach Doll’s room on the left.

Doll is our resident tree-chopper and her primary job in the tribe is to keep the Fire-pit going. She’s also an exercise enthusiast thanks to me, and I enjoy working out with her all the time! Something about a goblin with delicious abs and toned thighs is quite nice, especially where acts of procreation are concerned. Her cave-hole is rather small though, all things considered. Our only daughter so far, Figurine, used to live here with her until she became old enough to move out and into her own cave-hole much deeper inside Goblinhome.

Doll has no shortage of friends and often enjoys inviting them over to drink blue water with her. She’s also an avid Checkers player, having an elaborate custom-made wooden board she had made for her by Toy.

Continuing on from Doll’s room and easily a hundred feet deeper into the cave is at last, my room. I call it the Breeding Room, though everyone else just calls it Husband’s Cave-hole. This is the biggest residence in Goblinhome, made personally by the Great Protector so that I, as a human, wouldn’t succumb to claustrophobia, should I have had it. Initially it was just an empty room that had a few rags and some trash inside of it, which was weird because it shouldn’t have had even that… but that’s not important at all.

Originally, this room was solely for me to breed goblins inside of. However, thanks to being allowed to use magic, and gaining Vera as a roommate, many changes have been made to make it much more livable. There’s a kitchen, a long table, a big bath with a small shower adjacent powered by Runes for heating it up. There are two separate bedroom-style cave-holes within it, one for Vera and the other for Me, should I desire privacy—ha!

I also have a huge selection of games to be found here, a trophy room of sorts where I can see the many accomplishments of my excellent daughters. The most recent being a bone-statue carving of me, which was given to me by Kiwi as part of a new product she’s been working on—custom chess pieces in the shape of different goblins in our tribe. Apparently, I’m a king piece! I find it neat. I am a bit biased though, since my favorite trophy so far is a pair of bear claws which were given to me as a tribute from my eldest daughter, Diana Artemis. Even if she’s a big girl now, she’ll always be my little drop-goblin princess.

Vera, my lovely live-in goblin wife is a bit on the spectrum, having difficulty syncing her thoughts with her mouth, making it a challenge to understand her sometimes. We have a daughter, Glace, who never really lived with us for very long. Glace is also a bit special, in that she can’t talk properly. She can make noises, but if she wants to talk, she either gestures or somehow is able to communicate her thoughts to her other half, Button.

For a while, my daughter Ebony lived here, occupying my little cave-hole until I made some additional cave-holes in the back of the cave, at which point she moved into one of those much sooner than she should have. But I’ll get to Ebony a bit later…

We also have a downstairs resident who I feel is attached to my residence as well, Dara the Dwarf.

Dara came to us when an agent of the Great Protector had come with a pack of Kobolds and a large backpack containing tons of things I wanted to help better Goblinhome. Apparently, she was under the impression that she would be marrying a recluse in exchange for mining rights and profits to be found here.

I was a bit hesitant at first, not wanting to take advantage of a situation created by the Great Protector’s curiosity in my ability to goblinize women of other races, but, with a little nudging from Vera, she has comfortably settled into her life here as of late. There is an access pathway on the south side of the Breeding Room that leads to a lower floor where she has set up a forge and workshop.

Vera has also decided that not only is Dara another of my wives, but she is also her wife as well. Dara has been quite understanding in that matter, which I assure her she didn’t have to be. Dara has gained two apprentices, Grotte, one of my Orc War-brides with a penchant for hammering, and Lilac, my daughter with Lily who just so happens to also favor the hammer. There’s technically a third apprentice as well—my daughter Selene Hecate who, having absorbed my quartz focus orb, now has access to every single magic spell I’ve ever cast with it. This includes land manipulation, which means she’s quite fast at creating tunnels and shafts for Dara to go ore-exploring into.

I probably shouldn’t say it, but Dara loves cunnilingus. Totally goes wild when I tug a bit on her lower beard while burying my face between her legs. I might have to spit out a few hairs here and there, but I’m willing to do what’s necessary to keep my wives happy.

Dara also enjoys drinking and drugging with the reprehensible duo of Ivory and Truffle.

Leaving the breeding room, it’s a short walk to the next cave-hole on the right, belonging to one of the goblins who brings me the most healing in my captivity here—Berry.

Berry, having originally carried the name Ugly-scar, due to a claw slash that crossed the length of her chest from collar to belly, is otherwise a sweet and cute goblin. Aside from being the very first goblin to give birth to one of my daughters, she’s probably one of the few goblins I feel that I can completely open my heart to.

Berry’s cave-hole was technically the biggest one in Goblinhome before I came and the Breeding Room was created by the Great Protector. Due to the proximity of her cave-hole to the shit-pit, no other goblin wanted to take it. Berry is a forager goblin who specializes in picking berries, tree-nuts, and dealing with poisons (some of which are berries and nuts, obviously). There used to be only a pile of straw for a bed and a number of clay bowls full of assorted berries and covered in rags. Berry’s cave-hole was the first to receive my renovations and have a proper bedroom inside of it, full of shelves so that she could keep poisonous berries out of the easy reach of our first daughter, Diana Artemis.

Now, Berry and I have two daughters together, the first of whom is also my eldest, Diana Artemis, who is by all accounts, a most amazing goblin. While not particularly talented with showy magic, she’s said that she does possess some in the form of hunting instinct. Considering I named her after the Greek goddess of the hunt, that kind of makes perfect sense. I can vouch for her skills as a huntress a thousand times over. As far as my daughters go, they all see Diana Artemis as essentially the BOSS.

She once lived with Berry before, moving out for a while to live with Lily’s twins, Orchid and Lilac in a room that once belonged to the now deceased Beast-talker which I renovated after the Black-claw attack into something a bit human-styled. She has, since the birth of her sister, Selene Hecate, moved back into Berry’s cave-hole and also established her own Moon Clan, comprised of Diana Artemis as the head, and Berry and Selene Hecate as those she has chosen to be part of it.

The second daughter born to Berry and me, Selene Hecate, has an impressive pool of magic. Her talent for magic manifested fully when she somehow managed to assimilate my attuned quartz focus orb that shouldn’t have been able to be used by anyone other than myself. While the loss is still being immeasurably felt by me, how can I be upset that my daughter has a bright future ahead for herself because of it?

Selene, having access to her old man’s magic, and with some swift discipline from her older sister to not use it recklessly, has done wonders for swiftly renovating their cave-hole. There are now four rooms inside the cave-hole, one of which is a berry-brewery of sorts, where Berry has established a bulk production facility for making blue water.

I often visit only to find Berry and Diana having a drink together lately. It usually leads to a good time for the both of them since it is hard to say no to Diana when she suddenly pins me down and takes advantage of me. But it’s all good. Berry is there to kiss-kiss and make things better afterwards. Sometimes at the same time. Goblin-world problems, right?

Okay, so heading out from Berry’s cave-hole, just a few steps further is the aptly named Shit-pit. Before recent renovations, it used to just be a small lightless cave-hole with piles of leaves and a large crack one carefully squatted over to relieve themselves. The crack has since been sealed and thanks to Toy’s ingenuity, we now have a series of wooden toilets and even two urinals that are piped to deliver waste down into the cesspool below. The crack itself has been sealed and the smell is considerably better than before, though still a bit smelly, because even with the tiny bit of ventilation I’ve managed to create, there’s a cesspool below.

A tidbit more of unnecessary knowledge; Vera, Glace, Ebony, Button, and Chanterelle are all part of the move-and-let-fly club along with me. For pissing, they all use the urinals. They are among some of the most lazy goblins to be found at times, so to them it’s really just being efficiently lazy. Why go through the trouble of squatting when you can just shift a loincloth and pee?

Past the shit-pit on the left is a false cave-hole. I haven’t renovated it only because doing so would have it inevitably intersect with the next cave-hole of interest, the joint cave-holes belonging to my wild wives, Ivory and Truffle.

Ivory and Truffle are bonded in an interesting way. Ivory is the responsible one, and Truffle is an absolute flake. However, they are entirely co-dependent on each other. Early on, after being allowed to use magic, I renovated and expanded their cave-holes so that they were connected.

On Ivory’s side, there are cubby holes and shelves filled to the brim with bones of all shapes and sizes. Being a crafter goblin, Ivory makes all sorts of things out of bones that goblins need. Ivory is the mother of my precious daughter Ebony. While they had a bit of a fall out when she was extremely young, they have since made up and get along nicely now, with Ivory teaching her daughter the family trade—Bone working.

Ivory is also an alcoholic with anger issues, but everyone’s got their vices.

Truffle, who occupies the other attached cave-hole has shelf-after-shelf from floor to ceiling covered in assorted mushrooms. She’s a mushroom cultivator, and along with being able to determine the safety or harmfulness of any mushroom she gets ahold of, she’s also able to grow some of the most delicious mushrooms I’ve ever eaten.

She’s also obscenely lazy and a notorious drug-addict. Hallucinogenic mushroom powder known colloquially in gob as color-spin-think powder is one hell of a thing to be addicted to. In my experience in using it, and having it forced on me, I feel I can affirm that nothing good can possibly come from such an addiction.

Except glorious, sloppy, drugged out sex.

Only that.

Ahem.

Now, Truffle has had two of my most precious mushroom-goblin daughters so far; Button, who is by far and away one of the most impressive goblins I’ve had the chance to watch grow up. Button is without a doubt, my eternal player-two. She has a talent for martial arts and can pull off moves I’ve only ever seen possible in video games I played in my previous life. Button is also endlessly empathetic to all her sisters, low-key helping them out as much and as often as possible. She once hated being called a mushroom-goblin, but has since embraced it, going as far as creating her own martial art called the Mushroom Fist.

Then there’s Chanterelle, or Chanty for short or when she’s too lazy to even say her whole name. She’s practically a clone in personality to Truffle. From the very beginning, she’s adored and loved Mushrooms. She’s also impressively lazy, to the point that Old One scolds her on occasion for being too lazy—after all, laziness to a goblin is an art form. There’s a certain balance to working hard and being lazy that needs to be maintained before it becomes a problem.

Chanterelle was given a mushroom companion one day—supposedly a gift from the Creator Deity of the Bloodmaw for an innocent offering of a tasty mushroom without wanting anything in return. It’s a Myconid Emperor which I named Kino for her. Kino, who according to a monster compendium I once read in Salondra Wyze’s personal library, is something of a disaster class monster found only in the deepest dungeon within the northern Navara region. Kino is endlessly loyal and spoils the living shit out of her, to the point that she has achieved levels of laziness I have yet to see from any other goblin, including Truffle!

Chanterelle still lives with Truffle, sharing their bedroom with her. Kino has a small cubby-hole full of nutritious soil and a small sugar-water pit it can relax in when it feels like resting. Chanterelle also has had me build a secret passage in Kino’s cubby hole that opens up into a bigger room. Within that room, Chanterelle has begun her own mushroom farm, raising mushrooms from Kino’s spores.

Am I concerned about her raising an army of boss-level mushroom monsters?

Nope.

Because who better to tame said mushrooms than a family of Mushroom-goblins.

Also, while they have a unique taste, I’m not going to lie… Chanterelle’s mushrooms are pretty damn good in a soup!

The next cave hole down the main corridor belongs to my sticky-sweet fruit-goblin wife, Pear. Pear’s room is always fragrant with the scent of fruits she goes out to forage all the time for. She’s also a seriously chubby goblin with plenty of cushion for the pushing. Being lazy and eating fruit is something she loves to do, almost as much as trying adventurous things in the sack. They say you are what you eat, and I must say, her breast milk is the second tastiest in all of Goblinhome. (Berry’s is without a doubt the best. This has been confirmed by multiple sources, though we are all smart enough to never say it aloud.)

Pear’s cave-hole has been renovated to make room for our two daughters, Melon and Kiwi. Both live with Pear for now, though I get the feeling that maybe Kiwi has an interest in moving out on her own. Like her mother, Melon is an omnivorous foodie goblin. Melon’s talent lies in her sense of taste and ability to recreate any food I’ve taught her how to make and how to make it even better. She has no problems eating both raw bloody meat and cooked meat. Melon also is a chubby goblin like her mother, and I simply adore her squishy hugs.

While Melon lives in Pear’s cave-hole most of the time, she also has a cave-hole of her own adjacent to Pear’s. It’s officially called Melon’s Kitchen and is by all rights a goblin café of sorts. However, in the back of the kitchen is a private bedroom with a hidden access that I made for her to rest in if she wants to get away and have some private time to herself.

Melon is solely responsible for making cuisine that goblins want to eat. She’s also extremely close to Figurine, and the two of them honey trap me every single chance they get! Melon is also in the last stage of her pregnancy and will soon be giving birth to another one of my little cuties. Though I feel bad for having laid hands on her for as young as she was at the time, the fact remains that she’s been nothing but happy about the whole thing, so what else can I do but treasure her as best I can until it’s time?

Then, there’s Pear’s second daughter, Kiwi.

Kiwi is one of my more interesting daughters. Curious to a fault, and I truly mean that. Since she came into the world, she’s been dipping her tiny brown and green toes into everything Goblinhome has to offer a young goblin. She’s endlessly asking questions and doing her best to figure out how everything around her works. I joke at times saying that I should have named her Jackfruit, because of her jack-of-all-trades nature, but really, I probably should have named her Wiki, since she’s like a damn Wikipedia at this point.

Though she doesn’t seem to think so, possibly due to some kind of inferiority complex she picked up from somewhere I haven’t a clue, she’s incredibly inventive and her mind is extremely sharp. Where she really shines, however, is in knowing what goblins want. She also knows how to solve complicated logistics problems and come out with a hefty profit. I think she has a future as a merchant, and I somehow feel that at some point, she’s going to learn something dishonest that she really shouldn’t from Jewel. I can only hope that enough daddy-daughter fishing trips with her can root out any negative influences. Being an honest goblin is a good thing, and seeing that Crow is keeping an eye on her as well, perhaps in place of Magpie who left us to go explore the world, I’m not too worried.

Moving on, the next cave-hole on the right belongs to Crow.

Crow is a scouting-type goblin who once was part of the Sneaky Clan. Her room is full of little trinkets and was only recently organized when she suffered a debilitating injury to her leg, rendering her, for lack of a better way to put it, disabled. I have added in a number of accessibility points for her to easily get around not only her own cave-hole but also Goblinhome in general (with permission from Prima).

Crow is a rather closed off goblin, somewhat secretive by nature. We have a daughter together named Magpie who recently ran off to explore the outside world. She’s also recently become pregnant again, which has restored her spirits quite a bit since she fell into a depression after realizing she might never walk again due to an attack from a jaguar on a hunt a short while ago. Even with all the healing magic Lumi has tried to use to fix her leg there has been little to no progress. With some help from Dara, we did manage to make something of a leg brace out of some metal and a few Black-claw leg bones. We even made her a metal cane so she can move about a bit more reliably, if still slowly, to the point she can make it upstairs to the second floor of Goblinhome where the Goblin’s Guild is.

She recently became the first officially employed goblin, too. She gets paid to look after the Goblin Lazy-buy when Kiwi is busy figuring out what new products to sell. The current rage is decorative goblin bone-combs. I know this because my arms are getting tired lately from combing all my daughter’s hair! Not that I would ever refuse, since I can occasionally do fun things like braid their hair or put them up in pigtails. I even spent a bit of my own personal standing to order a pretty blue one with a berry design carved in bone for my Berry. I took great pleasure in giving her a French braid that draped over her shoulder and rested on her chest.

Just the sight of that had me trying to make a third daughter with her with great intensity.

Oops, I digressed a bit there. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, Crow…

Now, I often think of Crow as being the kind of woman I would have wound up marrying in my previous life. She’s kind and sweet at times, and aloof as hell at others. Our intimacy is also quite interesting. While usually passive in bed, she’s also needy and giving at times. She doesn’t really enjoy rough sex as I’ve discovered, preferring it slow and sensual whenever possible. She’s also fiercely independent.

At times, just being together quietly is something that I think we both find comfort in.

Next down the corridor is Pepper’s cave-hole.

Pepper is a spearfishing goblin at heart. Whenever she goes out, it’s usually to the Eastern Stream. It’s not only spearfishing that she does. She knows how to make fish-traps so she can bring fish home to eat when she’s feeling lazy and doesn’t want to go out to the stream. One of the room renovations she asked for from me is something like an aquarium for her room. Yeah, her cave-hole has something of a fishy smell to it as a result, but then again, it always did, and so did she.

Not a bad fishy smell, mind, just a slight fishy smell.

Something we both enjoy snacking on together while lazing about in her room is whatever the equivalent to a tuna fish sandwich is around here. I don’t ask what kind of fish is in it, I just leave the filleting of the fish to Melon while I make the mayonnaise mix, and the two of us relax and enjoy eating some fish. I also enjoy eating her tuna and when she asks for it, I give her some of the most brutal sex I can muster. She says it’s invigorating, and she really feels wonderful afterwards. How she can say that when her legs wobble and she can barely walk is beyond me, but I’m committed to keeping her happy. After all, that’s kind of how we wound up making our daughter, Mint.

Mint, unfortunately, has entered into a deep stasis slumber of some kind. Pepper doesn’t seem to be too worried about it, saying that Mint doing that is very much something Mint would do. Truth be told, I think Pepper knows Mint far better than I do. Instead, Pepper’s response to Mint’s departure is to invite me to help make another daughter with her, which I am surprised hasn’t already happened.

From here, the next room is on the right and it was once the former residence of Beast-talker. Its current residents are my eldest twins, Orchid and Lilac. This was at one point the only room that had an upstairs. Things have since changed, but essentially it still remains the only room with a legitimate upstairs. The ground floor is spacious and very… square. There’s a dining table with wooden chairs, a wash basin, a makeshift kitchen though it doesn’t ever get used, plenty of floor space and a staircase that goes up along the far wall in an L-shape leading to an upper floor supported by pillars that contain three bedrooms all mostly identical to each other.

I have a standing invitation to occupy the free room, though let’s be honest, that doesn’t happen—ever. Orchid and Lilac don’t really care about their personal space with each other and so we all cram into whichever room is easiest and I bully the two of them.

Orchid has been going on hunts with Nova lately, while Lilac has been working with Dara in her forge. She seemed excited at first, but honestly, I don’t know if Lilac wants to be a blacksmithing goblin. One thing about these two is that they are competitive with each other when it comes to games. Their cave-hole is filled with just about every game me, Toy, Game, and Fun have created.

One of our favorite things to do is eat fried chicken… sort of. I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of relatively flightless bird that exists in the Western part of the forest outside, whether it’s a chicken or not is up for debate. Regardless, I taught Melon how to deep-fry fowl meat and along with some cut potato wedges and ketchup, yeah, we have a game night every so often with junk food.

Orchid and Lilac are still growing, too. Despite their mother being the original runt of the tribe, those two girls are going to be even larger still. They are already almost as tall as I am, and only Prima is taller than me—and that after her Blood Fury. I expect something similar from Primrose down the line. Lily is without a doubt thrilled that her girls aren’t weak runts, that’s for sure.

A fun game they like to play with me is guess who, but not that particular game from my previous life. They simply put a blindfold on me, and well… I have to guess who it is trying to make babies with me. I’m terrible at it, by the way. However, even if I fail to guess correctly, my girls were happy to play the game all the same.

Incidentally, Lilac has been working with Dara to upgrade their grand weapons, Fearfang and Crunchmaul into being completely made of metal. Those weapons were frightening enough being made out of bone and stone… Also, Primrose got her weapon. It’s a long flail with three separate balls of unyielding pain attached to a chain link. I don’t even need to imagine her wandering around the forest going Primmy Smash! Because I’ve seen what the result is.

Bloody paste.

Next down the corridor on the right once more is Toy’s cave-hole. Or should I say Toy’s workshop?

Toy was the first goblin I made Clan with, not really understanding the responsibilities that came with it. Still, she was willing and she’s actually a really sweet goblin once I spent enough time with her to understand that.

Her cave-hole initially was chaotic. It was fairly spacious, maybe being the second or third largest cave hole before my renovations. After all, she needed plenty of space to make and keep things that she was often traded favors for into making. Once I had made her the Workshop and after she had our playful girls Game and Fun, things really took off for her.

While both she and the girls have their own rooms, all three of them still practically live in the workshop day in and day out. I visit frequently to play games with them and talk with them about things that don’t yet exist in Goblinhome. While Game and Fun are more focused on games, Toy’s somewhat practical side is more focused on things like furniture and appliances. Toy often visits Vera to see what things I’ve mentioned are possible with Vera’s formulaic magic.

Toy is also rather far along in another pregnancy, and I look forward to what interests my newest daughter will have.

At this point, the cave bends to the West a bit, and just a hop, skip, and a jump away lies the den of the beast. By that, I mean my goblin-in-law, Old One.

Old One’s room is essentially the same as it was when I first came. She doesn’t like me using my magic anywhere around her. The only exception was a small passageway I was allowed to make that led into a room for our daughter, Wise-eyes. Old One for the most part hates my guts and can only really stand me when I’m rearranging her guts. She says I might be a bit better on her eyes if I grew a beard, but in all likelihood, that might not happen for a few more years if at all. I barely have a wispy moustache as it is, and next to no body hair except on top of my head and in the downstairs department.

Her room is rather interesting. She has a collection of books which she calls squares of symbols and pours over them often. She’s recently taken to writing things down ever since Vera constructed the written gob language.

Our daughter, Wise-eyes is rather reclusive, staying in Old One’s cave-hole unless it’s time for certain lessons. Even if Old One dislikes me, she sees no reason for her daughter to not learn the secrets of my so-called human stone-magic and encourages me to teach our daughter as much as I can. In talks I’ve had with Wise-eyes, apparently in a certain book she has, there are a number of magic formulas and descriptions of spells that she is determined Wise-eyes decipher. I think she believes there may be a way for her curse of tongues to be lifted through such measures. I, of course, am not allowed to see what is written on any of those pages.

What Old One doesn’t know, is that I’m also subverting her hold over our daughter slowly but surely. Old One loves stories. I, who have read plenty of fantasy and science fiction novels in my previous life and have played far too many video games for my own good do my best to inspire her to pursue something I have come to understand she wishes to do.

She wants to be a storyteller.

Now, making paper here is currently impossible. I don’t know the procedure to do it. It’s also not something readily purchasable outside of a real city with proper facilities to manufacture it. It’s not something that could be found locally at say the nearest town to us… Thorn.

However, making tablets out of dirt, clay, stone… that’s easy enough to do. It’s a bit antiquated, but anything is better than nothing.

Wise-eyes is also a huge romantic at heart.

Her favorite story is also one of mine. The story of a lineage of heroes who fight four godly beings known as the Sinistrals. I really have hope that when Goblinhome becomes something greater than it is currently, she will inevitably become a Librarian. Worst case scenario, she becomes the first goblin bard. Either way, it has got to be better than becoming the next Old One.

I also admit to being a bit… bad.

While Wise-eyes is still a bit too young for me to… make her an adult, I do… fool around with her a bit. Nothing too crazy, just a little light touching as I tell her some stories which have adult themes. Rather than want to lay hands on another one of my daughters, my spite towards Old One is such that I’d rather netorare her daughter. That’s all there is to it.

I’ve also given her a human name, because I feel that it is important she have one, even if Old One wants her to be a true Bloodmaw to the end.

Yes, it’s from a video game I adored as a teenager. The tenth installment of that endless fantasy franchise.

Yuna.

Because while the goth lady was sexy as all get-out, nothing beats a summoner who can also dual-wield guns, right? I mean, I’m a man of excellent character and taste. Certainly not some cringy idiot full of himself with serious daddy issues like another pretentious protagonist I will choose not to mention…

Moving on once again, as we head West into the cave, there is the lovingly crafted cave-hole belonging to my naively innocent Ebony. She may be my little empress of bones, but I spared no expense in making her a room she could be comfortable in.

She has a coffin-like bed made out of bones complete with the finest pelt blanket and straw-filled pillows. Plenty of toys and games that she likes, some of which she can play with her skeletal nanny—Beastie, better known as the once living now reanimated bones of the goblin Beast-talker who I unfortunately couldn’t save after the Black-claw attack.

She also has a constant companion in a little bone-spider made with help from my old magic wand—now hers, called Iggy (Yggdrasil), made from a petrified branch of the Spirit Tree. While I can’t speak to the wand at all, apparently Ebony has no issue doing so. She can also communicate with Bitey and Beastie simply because they are comprised of bones, and that is exactly what her talents as a Bone Lord allow her to do. Even if she’s lived apart from Ivory and me, she’s never truly alone. I visit often, and so does Old One who treats her much better than I think anyone ever expected.

Thankfully, she was able to cope with the loss of her closest goblin sibling, Mint, and as a result, reconnect with her mother, Ivory. I spend time with her whenever I can, mostly when she’s not teaching Selene how to control her magic. Ebony isn’t by any means half as aggressive as her sisters are, which is kind of nice. But she does have an anger management problem just like her mother, Ivory, so, I have taken it upon myself to give her ways to release it. Afterwards, we cuddle and talk about Mint and our plans to eventually rule the world.

We are missing one prime minister in charge of laziness though…

Seems like Chanterelle would be a good option, if she wasn’t so lazy that she wouldn’t take the job.

It’s tough finding capable goblins sometimes.

Moving on, the next cave as part of the new additions and Ebony’s immediate next-cave-neighbors are Button and Glace.

The first thing of note here is that these two are as inseparable as Truffle and Ivory are. There is a large comfy bed that is probably the best one to be found in all of Goblinhome. I’m not exactly sure how Glace pulled it off, but it’s a straw-stuffed pelt mattress with soft Black-claw fur pillows and even a deer-skin blanket. The two sleep together, with Glace being the one to cuddle Button most of the time.

One thing I made for Button that stands out in their room is one of those wooden sparring dummies. Like the kind in kung-fu or karate movies. Button is diligent about training her martial arts every day.

There’s also a refrigerator of some kind as well. Glace is firmly rooted in the cooked meat faction but enjoys fruits and sweets of all kinds more than anything else. As a result, she got her mother, Vera, to make her a little fridge, so that she can have cold snacks whenever she wants. There’s also a small shelf that has plenty of freshly grown mushrooms most likely sourced from Truffle that Button can enjoy whenever she wants as well.

As much as Button is the more active one between those two, no one takes better care of her as my little prankster bratty daughter Glace does.

There are also simple facilities in their room such as a magical water basin like there is in the Breeding Room on the wall near the bath, and there’s even a small bath that seems to have been recently made. It only sits two, though. Kind of like a couple’s bath. I think it’s cute. Am I concerned that there’s something iffy going on between them?

Doesn’t matter.

I think it would be stranger if there wasn’t something going on.

The last properly occupied cave hole on the right belongs to Figurine.

I was there to help her move in a while ago, shortly after the incident with the Orcs, and that very same night I also turned her into an adult goblin. Figurine hasn’t had an easy time of things since she was born, having some kind of rhythm neurosis. Doll was worried I had given her cursed little seed and that’s why Figurine was like that, but with plenty of time and patience, and a chance discovery of music as a way to combat that neurosis, she has been able to integrate herself into goblin society much easier since then.

Even though the two of them had a rough start, their relationship has improved markedly.

Figurine’s room is decorated with many musical instruments, from maracas to ocarinas. I even had a little help from Dara in making a xylophone recently, though I think it’ll take a while for Figurine to master it to her liking. She also has a bit of free floor space she hasn’t filled so that she has a place to practice her dancing, as that’s something she also loves to do very much.

I admit to not being very good at dancing, having never really had a girlfriend to do it with until now… but I do try and woo her sometimes with a slow song or two which I hum as we sway slowly side to side and that… can’t help but get her in the mood.

Again, my daughters’ happiness is my happiness. There’s nothing a father won’t do for their daughter’s smile.

Okay, I’m a dirty liar. I enjoy it with Figurine. Way more than I have any right to.

That just about finishes the ground floor of Gobinhome. The next cave hole is mostly unoccupied, but has also been claimed by Game and Fun, even though they don’t really use it. Since there’s no one else making a claim on it, it’s theirs by default. It’s also pretty much empty save for some straw beds on the floor.

The last cave-hole is a special one. It’s where I made a shrine of sorts to house Mint’s body.

Mint, since her spiritual departure from us, has somehow undergone a kind of… pupation?

It started the second day after she fell into a deep slumber. Vines appeared to have come from within her body and in less than a day, she was completely cocooned. Her body remains warm and I have every reason to believe she’s physically alive and healthy. But I still check in on her daily, just in case she can hear me, I tell her I love her and miss her and hope she will return to us soon.

Having covered the ground floor and basement of Goblinhome, now it’s time to move up a floor. The outside face of Goblinhome resembles a certain skull-faced castle from a cartoon series I used to watch in my previous life as a child. While the mouth leads to the ground floor, the cyclopean eye leads to the upper floor, which is where one might find the newly created Goblin’s Guild Hall.

Complete with a long counter, tables, chairs, and a wall where requests are posted.

I am the guildmaster, of course. Vera is my co-guildmaster. Game and Toy are receptionists from time to time, and recently Kiwi has opened up a shop here that is sometimes run by Crow for her. The Goblin Lazy-buy.

Down the hall a-ways, just past where the shit-pit would be down below, is where the caves for my Orc War-brides begin. There is also a shit-pit here with a couple of slightly larger wooden toilets for them to use that have been piped properly. The stench is considerably lesser here than down below as well.

The entrances to each of the cave-holes up here are staggered so that a modicum of privacy is available should they have desired it. I made them without really knowing how closely knit they would turn out to be. As it turns out, they consider having their own cave-holes to be a significant luxury.

Adjacent to the shit pit on the right is Orga Lush’s cave-hole. A raised bed covered in bundled straw, a sort of stone-dresser with a handle for her to store a few personal things in, and plenty of jars that once likely contained Berry’s alcoholic blue water neatly lined up near the entrance.

Orga Lush is a bit elderly, but she’s quite capable of ribbing me when she’s up for it. She’s also essentially infertile at her age, and that’s something I don’t really mind. She’s very helpful in offering me advice on how to best handle my relationships with my other Orc war-brides, as well as being the key to my Black-claw domestication plan.

When spending the night with her, she’s more than willing to open up and talk to me about the many tattoos on her breasts, which are all supposed to represent significant events in an Orc female’s life. She’s had a rather long life, even for an Orc, but she’s quite happy to let me know that even in her old age, her libido is still as strong as it was when she was taken for the first time.

Good to know, right?

Next up on the left is Krushka’s cave-hole. As she’s a very diligent domestic War-bride, she’s already done much for her fellow war-brides in the department of clothing and rugs and whatever things Orc females would like to decorate their cave-holes with.

A small baby bump has become visible already, much to her surprise. Usually, Orc pregnancies don’t develop so quickly. One thing Orcs employ during child-raising is something like a crib. Though, I think calling it a corral is much more appropriate.

When not sewing pelts or whatever else she does to contribute, she freely volunteers in tending the field where our crops are growing. Usually, either she or Orga Lush handle making their meals at the fire pit, which I am obligated to join for at least one of their meals which is taken somewhere between breakfast and lunch, and dinner when the stars come out.

Krushka is the tallest and largest among the Orcs, in all aspects, and she enjoys getting tipsy and having rough, sloppy sex until she’s completely passed out.

Next on the right is Rushk’s cave-hole. She’s integrating the best into the Tribe so far, having undergone a partial goblinization, namely her ears and eyes, and her room is fairly well decorated. She has a nice spear she takes care of and along with an extra pair of clothes, she’s probably the most pronounced with pregnancy. She’s got a fat belly, bigger than Krushka or Grotte, and she’s also finally got some tattoos on her breasts, which she has said makes her continue to feel connected to her Orc heritage. I’ve seen her go off on hunts together with Prima, so I hope things will continue like this for her into the future.

Though I’m not one to pass judgment on what she is allowed to enjoy, she loves playing the picture matching game, and she can often be found doing so with my youngest of daughters from time to time out by the swings.

I think she’ll make a good mother when it comes time, slowly if not surely.

The second to last cave-hole on the left belongs to Grotte. If I had to describe her in one word, it would be tomboy. Grotte may be a War-bride for the second time, but she’s incredibly easy to relate to. She likes hammering things, since it’s something she’s been good at her entire life. She’s willing to lend a hand when needed no matter the task and enjoys coming down to the bath to spend a little alone time with me. Barring that, she’s always up for a good time with Ivory and Truffle if they happen to be there with us, too.

Grotte is good friends with Ivory, and even helped her migrate the Orc tradition over to Ivory, and to my otherwise innocent and naïve daughter, Ebony. She’s also a diligent assistant to Dara the Dwarf, who says she is quite lucky to have a strong Orc who knows her way around a hammer to help out at times.

I still fear getting my head squished when I’m between her legs, but she’s willing to thoroughly bathe before requesting it, so how can I refuse?

Also, I failed to be on guard once and felt the pressure of those orange-tanned thighs.

Thankfully she’s weak in that place, otherwise it might have been the end for this protagonist.

Lastly, the empty guest room cave-hole I made for Cobi and the Kobolds when they stopped by. It’s empty now, and there are signs of a few shed scales of differing colors, but aside from that, it’s empty.

That’s essentially it, though I did fail to mention that the East side of the fire pit is where the four Black-claws we have are kept. The two adults, Bandit the male and Missy the female, along with the two male and female pups, Blackie and Fang-fang. (Yes, Ebony named them.)

I’m sure in the future Goblinhome will grow even more, but I think it’s good to take a mental snapshot as to how things are at this very moment.

As for me, I decided that I would pay some extra attention to my Orc War-brides today. Much like my other wives, they don’t mind if I want to enjoy all of them at the same time.

I mean, four tall, thick, well-endowed women of various ages who can really test the limits of my stamina?

It’s another lazy day for me, might as well enjoy it!