I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

Chapter 131:

For the first time since the death of his father, Jeremy visited the Empress's palace.

He arrived in the role of a blue-blooded man, not as usual, in a baggy, like a nightgown.

It was a new experience for him, and it wasnt so bad, but he believed, this wasnt at all what he was looking for in life.

After all, he spent a lot of time wandering around the world and far from the gloss of the nobles.

The title, inherited after the worthless death of a worthless father, hung on him in chains.

He accepted the burden without further ado.

As if nothing had happened.

Jeremy smiled softly as he played with Carlisle as he always did.

Suddenly it was time to say goodbye.

* * *

"Your Highness, you are now supposed to take serious care of your health. Well, in the meantime, I ought to take my leave."

"Jeremy, where do you want? When will we see each other again?"

The child chose his words, knowing that Jeremy used to be away for a long time, working as a mercenary.

"Oh no. I dont go anywhere"

"Then you could come more often."

Jeremy smiled as Carlisle coaxed him with mock resentment on his face.

From Uncle Jeremy' to the Duke, from the kid Carlisle to His Highness.

Let Carlisle understand how suddenly his status changed. But the fact that he could no longer get along with Jeremy as easily as before was still unpleasant for him.

Naturally, he will understand everything over time.

"Carlisle, Jeremy has a lot of work, because he is now the Duke. So he won't be able to visit Carlisle as often as before."

"Ah that's how it means. So, next time I will come to you!"

"I will look forward to your visit, Your Highness."

Jeremy responded with a soft smile and stood up.

"Your Majesty, if you need my help, please dont hesitate to ask for it."

"Of course, I'll let you know."

"In that case, I have to go."

I watched him leave, smiling.

"Carlisle, should I go there?"

At the same time, but from the opposite direction, a carriage hastily arrived.

"Greetings, Your Majesty, the Sun of the Empire."

Of course, Raymond got out of the carriage.

Carlisle, standing next to me, gave an awkward greeting.

"Greetings to Your Majesty the Emperor, the Sun in the Empire."

Raymond's laugh went over our heads when he saw Carlisle in this state.

And then I saw his palm.

"Rise up, Empress."

I stood up properly, taking his hand. Too many extra eyes stared at us.

"And you must have started your etiquette lessons."

"Yes, I started. I started them today."

Raymond looked down at Carlisle.

The latter flinched at Raymond's gaze, but he didnt hide behind me and didnt dodge as before.

"Carlisle, do you like your teacher?" he asked the child amiably.

"Yes she's good."

I looked at this scene in confusion.

It was the etiquette teacher I had picked up without consulting Raymond. In fact, the etiquette teacher was inexperienced, so I hastily diverted the dialogue away from this topic.

"Your Majesty, you have arrived unannounced. Has something happened in the palace?"

Raymond's gaze naturally turned to me.

He looked behind me.

It seems like he's looking for someone.

Then he told me:

"You must have had dinner already. Would you like to take a walk with me?"

I hesitated for a moment.

There was nothing unusual about the Emperor's proposal to the Empress to take a walk, but there were some inconveniences between us.

After all, I was only pretending to be his Empress.

But I also need to talk to him

"Yes. Yes, sire."

Carlisle, who was uncomfortable with Raymond, went to the palace with his maid, and I walked with Raymond in the garden of the Empress's palace.

The maids and servants followed us at some distance. For a while we walked with him in oppressive silence.

I wondered how to present the idea of an academy for commoners. And he alone knows what he was thinking now.

Be that as it may, the further, the more the awkwardness grew.

Raymond's voice sounded just as I wanted to speak to him.

Im coming here with you again, just like that. So it's probably a dream."

His unexpected words paralyzed my movements.

Unlike me, who wasnt knocked on the head by sentiment about the past, he looked around with nostalgia in his eyes.

"We always walked here after dinner, do you remember?"

His gaze rested on me.

I guessed what he was trying to do.

But somehow it didn't take me.

The unchanging palace of the Empress, and this flower garden, in which we often walked.

The only thing that has changed a lot compared to the past is me.

"I remember very well, but that is just the past."

Raymond frowned. However, as if my reaction wasnt unexpected, he just nodded lightly and said:

"Okay. Just the past."

There was bitterness in his laughter.

Gathering my courage, I blurted out what I had originally tried.

"Your Majesty, I need to say something about Carlisle."

"What about Carlisle?" Raymond asked with a puzzled face.

"I hope to create an academy for the commoners on behalf of the second prince."

"Academy for commoners"

As with my father, Raymond was shocked when he first heard about the academy.

"As Your Majesty knows, Carlisle is unfamiliar to the commoners. And the first prince has a strong position. I think if we want to impress the people, half measures wont work here."

The establishment of the Carlisle Institute and the training of talented commoners would be a long-term investment in our future.

"If you agree with me, I would like your permission to build an institution that will strengthen Carlisle's power for the future."

I added this words carefully.

Although he presented Carlisle with the Regulus Palace, he didnt explicitly state that he considered Carlisle to be his heir.

Even if Marquis Sios was our enemy, the crown prince was a different problem.

Be that as it may, all this time, Raymond considered the first prince to be the heir.

Maybe he has already got used to this idea.

Raymond stared at me for a while without saying a word, as if he realized the meaning in the last words.

His eyes looked deeply, as if they were trying to read my intentions.

I spoke after a long silence.

"I'm sorry if I'm wrong."

I tried to tactfully back off, because even one extra word could ruin Carlisle's position in the future.

But Raymond shook his head.

"No. I think about the same as you. Carlisle is born from an Empress. I wont put the grandson of Marquis Sios on the throne. But I suddenly became curious about something."

"Yes?"

"When Carlisle becomes Crown Prince, it will become much more difficult for you to leave the Imperial Palace."

"Ill leave when Carlisle is crown prince, the Sios house is done away with, and my sons position will be strong. Then my departure wont be that bad for him."

When I told him firmly, Raymond's eyes darkened.

"Do you know why I came here without notice?"

"What?"

"Duke Drua came to me and asked for permission to visit. And after that I couldnt help. Ellie, I can't give up on you."

"Sire."

"Can I beg you to come back again? Do you really need to torture me like that?"

Raymond took a step closer to me.

And I stepped back.

"I have already clearly told Your Majesty. I will never return to you. You have always been like this. The Emperor's feelings are always more important than mine. Both in the past and in the present."

"That's not what I mean."

"Its not? I can only hear you begging for a new chance because you love me. But when did you ask about my feelings?"

Like before, like now I was sincerely angry with him, who thought only about his own situation.

I told him bluntly when I saw those black, scarred eyes.

"Ellie"

"And I have nothing more to say. If at least once more you will impose your feelings on me, I will leave the throne and float across the seas."

Without saying goodbye to him, I turned around and left.

* * *

Even after Ellie left, Raymond couldnt move for a long time.

The night darkened the gloomy sky, the wind beat more and more in the face.

Only then did he take a deep breath.

"Haa"

Raymond turned that cold sneer at himself.

"The feelings of the Emperor are always more important than mine. Both in the past and in the present."

I wanted to deny it, but now Im even wondering if its true?

I was happy with the only illusion of returning to the past, while we walked together in this garden.

By my stupidity, I couldnt even think of what feelings she experienced in the process.

No, maybe it's true that I unconsciously put my feelings above her?

If I put her in the place of the Empress, humbly approach her and ask her forgiveness, will she accept me?

It would be a lie to say that I dont have such hopes.

And even now, I couldnt give up my stupid expectations and regrets.

With a bitter sigh in the cold wind, he looked up at the night sky.

Ellie's favorite star, as usual, hung in its place.

"Sire Let's return to the palace."

All the courtiers saw how the Empress, without any goodbye, left the Emperor standing rooted to his place.

And the Emperor remained standing, forgetting how to give strength to his legs.

Waiting until the Empress returns.

"Lets go back."