I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

The Strategist XI

Have you ever heard of the term "sixth sense"? Sixth sense, literally meaning the sixth sense, refers to a sense beyond the typical five senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. Many would deny such a sense exists, but I truly possessed something that could be called a sixth sense—a premonition of fate.

It was likely because I had lived far too long as a regressor and experienced too many events. My ability to grasp the cause and effect of incidents had become excessively developed. Though not always, there were times when just a single word or gesture would give me a sense of the events that would unfold. Anyone who has ever fallen in love at first sight would understand what I mean. Human life is like a charm made of many threads, and one of those threads felt connected to the person right in front of me.

“――I’ll write your story, Mister.”

This was one of those moments. Oh Dok-seo’s eyes were half-closed, and as her eyes narrowed, my breathing also became shallower.

“Write a novel?”

“Yeah.”

“You mean you’ll seal the anomaly in a novel instead of a stream?”

“Yeah.”

My voice remained as calm as ever. But with each word exchanged with Oh Dok-seo, my consciousness, which was situated far behind my head, slowly wrapped itself around the present. I opened my mouth.

“Why?”

“Look. In the ‘stream’ you chose, I’m just a game character acting according to your instructions. Everyone else, except the Saintess, is merely an NPC. So…”

Oh Dok-seo pointed down. There, the white girl, the Admin of the Infinite Metagame, was clinging to Oh Dok-seo’s foot.

“There’s some truth in the anomaly’s warning. If you’re set as too superior to other humans, someday, no, definitely, you’ll become an anomaly-level monster yourself.”

“…….”

“…And the same goes for me.”

Oh Dok-seo gave a bitter smile.

“I’ve felt this while talking to you. If I had fought against you as the anomaly planned, if the ‘Book Possessor’ and the ‘Regressor’ had clashed, and I had taken the protagonist’s spot, I think I would have become a monster too.”

I remained silent. Because that scenario was actually one of the world-ending scenarios I had preplanned. [Protagonist] anomaly. Oh Dok-seo would defeat me, become the protagonist, merge with the anomaly, and receive all the clichés that only the protagonist could enjoy, the ‘protagonist correction.’

“Neither of us should dominate the other. We’re too powerful. I’m not talking about the realm of aura. From the starting line, we’ve been given the roles of Book Possessor and Regressor.”

“…….”

“Our very existence has the potential to define the world, with the latent power of anomalies.”

Indeed.

- Be careful when fighting monsters, lest you become a monster yourself. If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

This modified Nietzschean adage was fitting for us. Thus.

“…I’ll be the writer of your story. There’s a genre called reportage literature, right? Reconstructing real stories into novels.”

“Hmm.”

“If your life story is recorded by my hand, you won’t fall to a dimension superior to mine. Because I’ll be your ‘writer.’”

And.

“I’ll just be the narrator chasing your life story. Yeah, I think that’ll create a balanced relationship.”

“So we’ll be mutual constraints on each other.”

“Yeah! That’s it!”

Oh Dok-seo laughed heartily. The sound of human laughter was as brilliant as water droplets in a fountain, momentarily catching sunlight before falling back.

“Not a bad idea. But wouldn’t that make you too powerful as the writer?”

“Huh? Really? I thought a writer’s status was constrained by readers' evaluations and more akin to a priestess offering herself. But if you’re worried... Ah.”

Oh Dok-seo lightly tapped the laptop with her palm.

“How about this? I’ll write about you, but you write about the parts that mention me.”

“…….”

“No matter how much I know myself, if I have to type about myself... Eek. Absolutely not! That’s super embarrassing.”

Just imagining it seemed dreadful as Oh Dok-seo shivered.

“So… I’ll write about you, and you write about me. We’ll share our thoughts honestly to provide accurate references.”

“I see. Two people will be both protagonists and writers. Like mountain climbers tying a safety rope to avoid falling into the abyss.”

“Yeah. Isn’t it good?”

“…….”

I looked at Oh Dok-seo for a long time.

Did she understand the weight of her words? Was she too excited about defining the anomaly and carelessly talking about her life's path? Could she truly keep her promise? Would she use the pretext of interpreting me to corrupt me?

Hm… Hmm… Hmmm... Several doubts echoed in the valley of my mind. But I found those suspicions refreshing and nodded. What if the promise wasn’t kept? This child was walking somewhere and laughing while doing so. That was enough.

“Alright. Dok-seo, I entrust my interpretation to you.”

“Yeah. I’ll entrust mine to you too. …Ugh. This is kind of embarrassing…”

Oh Dok-seo cleared her throat and crouched down. She then looked down at the Admin of the Infinite Metagame.

“Hey, God. Did you hear that?”

-…….

“I’ll keep Mister in check as you wanted. But if you’re my god, respond to my answer.”

Oh Dok-seo held the laptop screen in front of the anomaly.

[ W h at is t h i s w o r ld? ]

[ This world is a novel written by ‘Oh Dok-seo’ about the ‘Undertaker.’ ]

Tap, tap. Oh Dok-seo tapped the screen with her long fingers.

“This is the world I define.”

-…….

“Nothing’s written yet, but I’ll start writing from tomorrow. On this laptop. It’s still a creative work, right? You shouldn’t have much to complain about.”

-……, …….

“If you don’t want to retire as an old fogey, shut up and ask me for <Advanced Chapters> in each cycle, God.”

Crack!

At that moment, the white girl's form distorted and was sucked into the laptop screen. Oh Dok-seo flinched but didn’t drop the laptop. First, the white girl, then the black filth spilled by the anomaly, and finally the entire white space, all mixed into a vortex and were swallowed into Oh Dok-seo’s laptop.

A moment later, the anomaly's realm disappeared completely from the world, like storm clouds clearing. Just as Cheon Yo-hwa had imprisoned the Infinite Void in the hourglass, Oh Dok-seo sealed the Admin of the Infinite Metagame in the laptop.

“What?”

“Where is this…?”

In the devastated hotel garden, the magical girls began to wake up one by one. Watching them, Oh Dok-seo muttered.

“If I ever write about today’s events, I’ll never describe the appearance of those magical girls…”

“It’s a coincidence. I feel the same. I already think we have an excellent writer.”

“Half of them aren’t even girls. Japanese awakeners must have some screws loose.”

“For this cycle, there are probably more magical girls in Korea than in Japan.”

“The worst…”

Oh Dok-seo shook her head and tucked the laptop into her backpack. She then extended her hand to me.

“Anyway… I’ll be counting on you, Mister.”

“And I you. By the way, if you’re going to write it as a novel, I have a great idea.”

“Huh? What is it?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

That idea was to include a 600-chapter parody of the Three Kingdoms in the novel, which was later rejected by Oh Dok-seo, who didn’t know much about the Three Kingdoms. We shook hands.

“By the way, even though I’ve read many novels, this is my first time writing one. So you’ll have to help me a lot, okay?”

Holding my hand, Oh Dok-seo, the first reader and the final writer of my story, smiled brightly.

Anomaly: Admin of the Infinite Metagame

-Aliases: Logout Game, Cliché, Muse, Hi-I-Am-God, Omniscient Regressor's Viewpoint, Fourth Wall, Writer’s Syndrome

-Threat Level: Outer God-class

Subjugation Complete.

There is an epilogue. 

Now it’s clear to everyone. Yes, the story I’m telling and Oh Dok-seo is editing into a novel is itself the ‘artifact that seals the anomaly.’ It’s also a weight that suppresses both me, the Undertaker, and Oh Dok-seo.

The real-time reading and evaluation you all are doing suppress various anomalies. Since I, the Undertaker, consider all humans who subdue anomalies my comrades (including the Grand Priestess of the Magical Girl Association), naturally, you are also my comrades. I am truly grateful for Oh Dok-seo’s presence, which has connected us.

“Mister, we have a problem…”

So Oh Dok-seo didn’t end up proclaiming, “The god made me write this novel,” or “But now the writer Oh Dok-seo has become a god!” No such happy ending happened. It was quite the opposite.

“I can’t write…”

“You can’t write? Why?”

“It’s just that everything I write feels crappy.”

Oh no. When she was a reader, Oh Dok-seo looked down on all creative works in the world, but as soon as she started typing, she turned into the weakest creature. Sipping the coffee I made her, Oh Dok-seo mumbled gloomily.

“Before bed, I always resolve to write tomorrow, but when I wake up and turn on the laptop, my fingertips turn white…”

“The way you just expressed it, you could write it like that. You speak well.”

“Ugh! It’s not working!”

It wasn’t entirely her fault. As later revealed, defining herself as a ‘writer,’ the Admin of the Infinite Metagame also treated her as one. In other words, all sorts of chronic ailments of writers clung to Oh Dok-seo.

[My Writing Sucks Syndrome], [Remake Syndrome], [Infinite Revision Syndrome], [Drifting Syndrome], [It’s All Because of Lack of Experience Syndrome], [Constantly Changing Desktop Wallpaper Syndrome], [There’s Always Something at Home Syndrome], [Upload Delayed Due to Editor’s Mistake Syndrome], [Simple Depression Syndrome], [Clicking SG Net Instead of Writing Syndrome]...

Truly, the King of Diseases! The very existence of a writer brought all these plagues to Oh Dok-seo.

“This isn’t right!”

Thud! Oh Dok-seo would often throw the laptop on the floor, but as a relic of the anomaly, the laptop remained unscathed.

“No, Dok-seo. It’s been 60 days since you confidently declared you’d write a novel, and you haven’t even finished one prologue…”

“What do you know about the agony of a creator, Mister!”

I knew very well. By this time, I had stockpiled 100 chapters of the Three Kingdoms parody (writing about two simple chapters a day). Fortunately, the 'Laptop of Infinite Metagame' preserved its content across cycles. So even if I completed only six chapters this cycle, those six chapters would carry over to the next. Although Oh Dok-seo, cursed by the anomaly, raged that it was like giving medicine after the pain.

“Being a writer is… suffering…”

“There’s no point discussing suffering in front of an infinite regressor.”

“I can’t live like this alone. Ah! Mister! Let’s ask the anomaly to spread these diseases to all writers, not just me!”

“What?”

“If I die, everyone dies… That’s fair and just, right?”

I opposed, but Oh Dok-seo insisted on spreading the plague. That day, a storm swept through SG Net’s novel serial boards. Readers vomited blood as their favorite serials abruptly declared hiatuses. If any of you turn on your computer and think, ‘Damn, why don’t I feel like writing?’ please blame Oh Dok-seo. It’s the anomaly’s curse.

“Mister! Finally, I finished the first chapter!”

Still, thanks to her persistent efforts, Oh Dok-seo finally showed me the first prologue two years after the anomaly was subjugated.

“Look! Oh, don’t mind me! Just read it; I’ll watch from behind!”

“Hmm.”

Let’s see. While sipping café au lait with one hand, I moved the mouse cursor with the other. Click. The new white document file began with the first line:

――――――――――

Infinite Regression. There is a genre by that name.

――――――――――

Footnotes:

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