I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Sleepwalker I

In my regressor life, I considered the 1st to the 100th run as the "early phase." Another term would be "childhood."

It was a period when I held the romantic illusion that if I just eliminated the anomalies, peace would somehow come to the world.

And during this early phase, there were three boss monsters who had claimed the Korean Peninsula as their territory.

Level 1 Boss: Crawling octopus head. No matter how much you stab it, unless you pierce both hearts simultaneously, it showcases infinite regenerative abilities and never dies! It's called the "Immortal Ten Legs"!

Level 2 Boss: Ignorance is your downfall! Rejoicing at the promise of free immortality during the apocalypse, you accept it only to find out it’s nothing but fertilizer for growing a massive World Tree! The New Buddha and Divine Buddha, "The Immortal Udumbara"!

Level 3 Boss: You will fall victim even if you know about it! In the 7th year from the start of the regression, it inevitably descends from the night sky, the unavoidable Armageddon, "The Inescapable Meteor Shower"!

The geographical setup of the Korean Peninsula is truly awe-inspiring.

However, among them, the Ten Legs can now be ignored. By the 100th run, the Ten Legs are nothing more than a minor mob that can be one-shot-killed.

Yes, even if you act cute, I won’t spare you. Tentacle-headed Cthulhu knockoff.

The Udumbara, also known by names like "Divine Buddha Virus," "Red Cordyceps," and "World Tree," had a more infamous reputation.

-I'm hungry?

It might be a bit unfair from its perspective, but the Udumbara had the worst compatibility with a regressor from the start.

From the moment I discovered that the origin of the Udumbara was in Room 202 on the second floor of a closed inn in Onyang, the Udumbara was perfectly conquered.

So, let's talk about the final chapter of childhood.

“Look! Hey, look at the sky.”

Let's talk about the Meteor Shower.

“Wow! A shooting star! So many of them!”

“The sky is beautiful even if the ground is fucked…”

Strictly speaking, among the three early-phase bosses, only Ten Legs exclusively operated in the Korean Peninsula.

As known, the Udumbara spread across East Asia as a pseudo-religious cult called the New Buddha.

The Meteor Shower was the same. The falling stars did not only strike the Korean Peninsula.

They struck the entire world.

“Huh? Why does it keep getting closer...?”

“What are you doing? Get away! Run!”

“Run? Where to? They’re falling from the entire sky, guild leader?”

“…….”

Have you ever played a battle royale game?

In such games, as time passes, the playable map area gradually shrinks. For example, the "safe zone" gets smaller as the magnetic field contracts.

It was a method to force players into a tighter ring as the game progressed.

This world mimicked the worst parts of games because our lives were a shitty game.

“Half of the Eurasian continent is gone!”

“What nonsense are you talking about?”

“Exactly what I said. It just got erased. Last week, when the Meteor Shower hit, half the continent just vanished.”

“This is insane.”

Once it hit South America, once Australia, once Eurasia, and once the Pacific Ocean.

Continents struck by the stars invariably turned into barren lands where no human could survive.

It was truly Armageddon.

Humanity, momentarily indulging in an apocalyptic romanticism while gazing at the showering stars in the night sky, was horrified.

“Again, again! Another one’s falling!”

“Damn, where this time? Where is it going to hit...?”

Meteor Shower. Western awakeners often called it "Armageddon," and Japanese Awakeners called it "Meteor." According to the classification of the Library Society, who saw naming anomalies as their mission, its threat level was "Continent," and it was identified as "Shining Little Star."

“…….”

The falling star that Lee Ha-yul reached for in a previous episode was none other than this.

It was another method by which our world was meeting its end.

The first time I encountered the Meteor Shower was in my 23rd run.

The number 23 held significant meaning for me. In a slightly negative way, to be more blunt—since we are close enough to use such expressions—I hope you’ll understand with generosity—it was pretty shitty.

Perhaps some of you, with an exceptional memory like mine, might quickly recall the events of the 23rd run, more precisely, the events that started from the 23rd run.

“Huh? Old man? Old man, are you here?”

Ta-da!

Congratulations! You have found the corpse of Old Man Scho!

“Damn it.”

Yes.

The 23rd cycle was the first time Old Man Scho went on vacation. It was also the moment when "Congrats! Shitty End!" was chosen as the BGM for my character, the Undertaker.

At that time, I was… well.

To be honest, I was pathetic.

Would it be right to call it a dark history? The person I thought I would fight alongside for life had suddenly disappeared.

“Wow, casting such high-level magic with just two chants... I’m a genius! And Undertaker, you seem like a genius too!”

I didn't say it, but I helped Dang Seo-rin perfect her Equivalent Exchange magic for this reason. Back then, I relied on Dang Seo-rin mentally.

Because, well...

I feel a bit hesitant to reveal this, but I believe we’re close enough to freely discuss such things now.

I'll be honest, because she was the only one in my regressor life who could share the same timeline with me.

“We can’t live together, but at least we can accompany each other in death."

“Please take care of me, my companion in time.”

Of course, Dang Seo-rin didn’t remember the time she spent with me. But at least, her magic, which opened songs by burning her lifespan, continued to accumulate lifespan even through regression.

So, it's really embarrassing to say, but I treated Dang Seo-rin as a substitute for Old Man Scho.

No, even calling her a substitute is too weak. I was clearly dependent on Dang Seo-rin.

Despite my mental breakdown, I didn’t forget my final role as a regressor.

Somehow, I established an organization by myself without Old Man Scho, made Dang Seo-rin the leader, and eradicated the Ten Legs.

And in the 7th year.

“Wow. Undertaker, look over there.”

“Hmm? Is it a shooting star?”

“Yeah, there are so many.”

Dang Seo-rin, walking barefoot on the sandy beach with shoes in hand, pointed to the night sky.

That was the moment I first observed the Meteor Shower.

Naturally, I never imagined that the twinkling Meteor Shower in the night sky could be an anomaly.

I returned from the night walk and fell into a comfortable sleep.

And when I woke up, I found myself at the starting point of my regression.

Back at Busan Station.

“…Huh?”

I was so dumbfounded that I looked around blankly. What the hell was going on?

Anyone would be disoriented if they went to bed and suddenly regressed.

At first, I thought it was a dream, but no matter how much I pinched my cheek, I didn’t wake up. So- goodness. I had really regressed "while sleeping."

“You fucking asshole!”

The trademark exclamation of SG Man (I didn’t know Seo Gyu's real name back then) rang out like an alarm app that lives to ruin a salaryman's morning.

And I felt exactly like a salaryman in the morning. A mix of 30% confusion and 70% frustration.

‘No, really, hold on. Why is this happening?’

But regardless of my confusion, the physical time of the world flowed steadily.

A scream tore through the waiting room of Busan Station. Seo Gyu’s neck was neatly severed by a fairy.

People were running away in panic, but I was the only one standing there dazed, my mind blank.

When your mind is vacant, some people replace it with reason, and I was usually the latter.

‘Did someone poison me?’

This was the most rational guess.

‘Or an assassination? No matter how, but to assassinate me, the Undertaker, like twisting a chicken's neck in my sleep?’

Ah.

I groaned.

‘How could this happen! I was too complacent!’

Indeed.

In the end, the enemy of humanity was not the monsters but humanity itself. Our ancestors wrote the first histories to leave the message [Humanity sucks] for future generations, didn’t they?

“Now... I will live for myself.”

While I was solemnly declaring my resolution, the fairy, who was playing with Seo Gyu’s rolling head, tilted its head.

“Huh. This human isn’t running away and is talking nonsense?”

“Shut up, tutorial mob.”

After responding to fairy number 264's argument with a flick on the forehead (“Huek!”), I farmed Silver Bells from the souvenir shop in the waiting room as usual.

And immediately went into strategizing.

Never sleep alone. Not only establish a guild and recruit comrades, but also build an impregnable hideout fortress for communal living...

It was around this time that I started putting effort into the guild hideout.

Later, due to being completely brainwashed by the mysterious entity named Go Yuri, the hideout was destroyed from within. But until then, my guild hideout was an impregnable fortress, the epitome of resilience (let’s temporarily ignore the fact that both eventually fell).

Of course, even though I declared my intention to live for myself, I wasn’t the kind of regressor protagonist in Korean web novels who struggles alone.

Humans should live together, right?

Naturally, I actively shared my hideout construction know-how with those around me.

“Hey, Undertaker. I appreciate you looking out for my safety, but isn't this a bit overreacting...?”

Hmm. Maybe ‘sharing’ is not as appropriate as ‘insisting.’

“Hah! Being careless like that will get you assassinated without anyone noticing, guild leader Dang Seo-rin!”

“Eh? Um? Ah, uh-huh...?”

“You get praised as the best awakener in Korea, and your pride is soaring! No matter how strong you are, that’s only after singing three verses of the Cursed Song Incantation! Before that, you’re just a mage before warriors! Do you think those wicked assassins will wait until you leisurely hold a concert?”

“No, well. This is my guild headquarters, right? I’ve set up a really good watch and patrol system. It’s impossible to break through to my sleeping quarters unless it’s an awakener like you…”

“Hah! Assassins would have already bribed all your loyal guild members! What if the enemy has abilities like hypnosis or brainwashing?”

“Eh…”

Surprisingly, I accurately predicted my future defeat by Go Yuri. This is the power of a regressor.

A damn pathetic power.

Dang Seo-rin seemed to reach a similar conclusion.

“If an awakener has such a cheating ability, security is meaningless…”

“Hah! From now on, before you sleep, you must sing [Repeat], [Auto-play], [Silence], [Shield], at least four layers of songs. And call Ha-yul to cover the train carriages with her puppets.”

“But it’s like spider webs…”

“Haaaaah! If you die, it’s the end of Korea. Do you realize your position?”

“Um, well... Fine. Sorry…”

“If you’re sorry, then it’s okay. Actually, it’s unrealistic to sing the Cursed Song Incantation before sleeping.”

“Oh! Right, that's what I…”

“So, we must build an ironclad fortress. Don’t worry, Dang Seo-rin. I won’t ask you to leave your precious train. I’ll just remodel it into the strongest fortress on earth.”

“…….”

Dang Seo-rin looked at me with an expression that said, ‘Why has this kid suddenly become such a bother?’ but I ignored it.

In the end, not only my hideout but also the Samcheon World’s train was remodeled into the “Ultimate Weapon - Fortress Train - Galaxy Express 999.” Now, even if an army of assassins came, it would be futile.

In the 7th year.

“Wow. Undertaker, look over there.”

“Hmm? Oh, it’s a shooting star. It must be a Meteor Shower that appears around this time.”

“Really? There are so many. It’s nice. If someone hadn’t covered my luxurious train carriage windows with iron bars and spider webs, it would’ve been much prettier.”

“…….”

After having a drink with Dang Seo-rin, I returned to the hideout and fell into a comfortable sleep.

“Hello! Everyone! Oh? The numbers are a bit small... Anyway, you must be surprised to be summoned here suddenly! But don’t worry! I’ll kindly guide you from the beginning!”

Naturally, I regressed again.

The familiar ceiling of Busan Station’s waiting room greeted my eyes. Of course, Fairy No. 264 was flying around cutely.

“…….”

My vision blurred.

And SG Man's unmistakably friendly alarm sound rang in my ears.

“You fucking asshole!”

Footnotes:

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