Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

Episode 320 If Only (6)

“He hasn’t come out of the room yet.”

Seongju So, who is acting as the acting governor of Seongju, said without even looking at him. It was rude in its own way, but the Archmage didn’t care. If I had to pick the one who was at fault first, it would be her who came without an appointment.

“Are you sleeping?”

“I haven’t confirmed that. As you know, people with sensitive senses often wake up when an unfamiliar presence approaches them.”

So Seong-ju lightly explained that even the act of checking could interfere with rest, so he replaced it with just leaving a note.

“I wrote down to ring the bell next to the bed if necessary, but… I haven’t received any report that it has rung yet.”

“Is that so…”

The Archmage lowered his head in sorrow. Rather than feeling sorry that all the time I had wasted wasted, I felt more sad that I was late in saying what I needed to say to the demon knight. Well, either way, it wouldn’t be something she would regret.

“But why are you looking for him?”

“…It’s nothing special. “It’s just…”

The Archmage hesitated to speak as he looked at the Lord of the Little Castle, whose voice was muffled and whose eyes were swollen, perhaps because he had worked all night.

Is it better to say this now? Of course, the more you say it later, the more problematic it becomes…

“…yesterday, some people had a secret meeting.”

It’s an important matter to the city’s owner to leave unsaid, and the other person seems too tired to talk about it comfortably.

In that dangerous situation, the Archmage was expressed as gently as possible. It was not to protect the people in the meeting, but to want Soseongju to be as shocked as possible.

“Oh, did you?”

However, I didn’t expect Lee to react sourly just because of that.

The Archmage hesitated slightly. Could it be that So Seong-ju had predicted that something like this would happen?

“Did you know?”

“no. But I thought so. Those who are dissatisfied with me are widespread in the city. “It’s a lot sooner than expected, though.”

“yes?”

“Isn’t it?”

…I made a prediction, but it seems like it was someone else’s prediction. The Archmage’s voice was slightly clouded in cynical self-deprecation.

“Well… no. “They gathered together dissatisfied with the treatment of the demon knight.”

“…I’m not sure if what I heard just now is correct. “Could you say that again?”

However, So Seong-ju’s tone suddenly became sharp. I didn’t know where the boredom that had appeared just before had gone.

The Archmage felt a doubt from the sharp eyes of the Holy Spirit. Why do you seem angry? It was that kind of wonder.

“…That’s what happened.”

Of course, that didn’t mean she couldn’t not report it, so she carefully summarized the situation. As the words continued, So Seong-ju’s expression hardened, but finally relaxed.

“I understand why you came to see me as soon as you had time. thank you.”

“It was something that had to be done.”

The Archmage thought as he read his decision through the expression on Sosungju’s face. Everyone who participated in the meeting will be killed. I didn’t feel much sympathy.

“So… is it related to that case that you wanted to see him?”

“Wouldn’t it be easier for him to be informed of the results, even if they were decided informally?”

Rather than remaining restless until it is officially announced, holding on to the summary results will bring peace of mind. At least that was the Archmage’s opinion.

“However, Lord Soseong is busy and others will find him uncomfortable, so I thought it would be best for me, who knows him, to tell the message.”

“I guess so.”

This was also Archmage’s personal opinion, but So Seongju easily accepted it. The mountain of reports in front of him must have played a significant role in his consent.

“…I wanted to do it for you.”

Su Seongju looked slightly regretful, but eventually lowered his eyelids as if he was tired.

“…It’s good to enjoy a long rest, but skipping breakfast and then lunch is not good for your health. Even when all the soldiers are feasting on it. So, I will have the butler prepare the meal. In the meantime, let’s talk.”

“Thank you… oh that. Lord Soseong. I’d like to add this just in case, but he doesn’t eat meat. So… can I please ask you not to include meat in your meal?”

“Of course. Thank you for letting us know in advance so we don’t make any mistakes. Instead, I would like to ask you to do one thing for me as well. “If he refuses to talk, can you please not force it and make an appointment for the next time?”

“It’s not something you should even ask for. “Of course I will.”

“Thank you for your understanding.”

Still, instead of falling asleep, he continued to work. It was a conditional permission, but it was something that had to be endured, so the Archmage easily accepted it.

“Do you have something to say to him, Lord Xiaocheng?”

Instead, she offered some consideration to Lord Xiao, who seemed to have some kind of connection with the demon knight.

“…It’s not too late to talk later, so just tell him to rest in peace.”

So Seong-ju, who hesitated, eventually refused. The Archmage did not ask any more questions.

“It will take a while to prepare lunch… what are you going to do?”

“…Can we just make some tea with these leaves?”

“I will.”

She escaped the messy office and called a servant. As soon as she came out, those who had been waiting to report filed in, and the attendant walked away with a bag of tea leaves in his hand.

All that remains is one servant to guide her.

“…I don’t know if this is okay.”

The Archmage was endlessly submerged in the water as he moved along with the servant. I couldn’t help it. Aside from the fact that I wanted to talk as quickly as possible, I wasn’t sure if this was the right choice or not.

What if the demon knight is still sleeping? What if he doesn’t want to meet her?

I was confident that I would get better under the pretense that I only knew each other in front of Soseongju, but the truth was a bit different. Their last relationship was close to the worst, and their relationship before that wasn’t normal either.

Perhaps the bishop whom I had met for the first time would have been better than her.

“Is this floor?”

“yes. “He’s staying in the room at the end.”

“If you do that, let’s stop here and you can go. “I can go alone.”

“Are you okay?…”

“It’s okay. “Let’s go.”

Of course, judging from what others say, the demon knight probably doesn’t have any hostility towards her. Judging from his statement that he wanted to apologize, his feelings of dislike probably did not reach the worst level. If I really hated it so much, I wouldn’t even think about apologizing.

“…after.”

But not hating doesn’t mean you don’t have regrets. And she was a person who had many conditions that the Demon Knight would feel sorry for.

First of all, the title of Great Sage did not improve his situation to the extent that it was laughable. It failed to give him confidence to the point where he couldn’t ask for counseling. We were unable to provide support until the end to him in a difficult situation. He failed to stop the Inquisitor, which ultimately caused friction between the two. Even though I could have gone to apologize, I put it off until now…

There were so many things I did wrong that it was hard to list them. The Archmage eventually stopped in front of the door, unable to open it.

Is she qualified to open this door? The experience she has accumulated throughout her life does not provide an answer to her earnest questions.

“….”

Should I go back now? She fiddled with her fingers, staring at the quiet hallway and door.

Seeing that she didn’t react to her coming, it seems like she was either really deep asleep or silently expressing that she didn’t want to encounter her. Wouldn’t it be right to go back after all? The more quiet the son-in-law is, the more intense the desire becomes, and as an excuse for self-justification, it is truly tempting.

Her feet came off a few times and then snapped back into place.

“If you have any business, come in. “Don’t go back and forth.”

But all her hypotheses collapsed before the words she heard.

You knew I came. The Archmage’s hands were brought together as if she was praying without her knowledge.

“…Is that okay, Demon Knight?”

But even though I knew it, wasn’t the fact that I didn’t react until now because it was an unspoken rejection? But didn’t she call me in the end because she continued to hesitate?

Even the moment I uttered a single word, anxiety built up. The Archmage’s expression became gloomy.

“okay.”

The depression was even worse because there was no place to retreat to. The Archmage hesitated and placed his hand on the doorknob.

“…I’m going in.”

She opened the door carefully. Then, I saw a demon knight sitting on a chair in the sunlight and leaning down. He had his elbows on his knees and his arms covering his face, as if he were in deep agony.

“If you’re having a hard time, we can talk later.”

“Your time and mine are both precious. If you have something to say, say it.”

Really, it would have been better to come later. The Archmage swallowed his sleep in pain at having made another mistake. The fact that she couldn’t back down after the demon knight said that made her feel even more ashamed.

“…Aren’t you hungry?”

Rather, let’s just quickly tell them the answers given by the temple and the magic tower. The Archmage made up her mind to do so, but her mouth did the opposite. It was almost like the age I had lived up until now was insignificant.

“not really.”

“Is that so?”

I thought a half-ruined Inquisitor was the hardest thing in the world to deal with, but that wasn’t the case. The Archmage corrected her narrow-minded experience and curtsied even harder.

“…But don’t skip meals. “Wouldn’t eating give you strength?”

Meanwhile, why do only lame remarks keep coming out of my mouth? I should hurry and just tell the devil knight what I have to do so as not to cause any inconvenience, but my mental head won’t let me do anything about work.

“Of course I don’t mean to force yourself to eat it. So, my words don’t matter at all—”

The Archmage moved his mouth with a half-blank soul, but bit his tongue slightly as soon as he felt his words getting tangled up. Only then did I come to my senses.

“I’m sorry.”

I didn’t come here for this.

Her hands slowly relaxed. What I now see in my raised vision is a demon knight with an ethereal face straightening his back.

“I’m really… sorry.”

“…Why are you apologizing?”

Oh, he wasn’t even expecting an apology? The Archmage gaped at something that suddenly occurred to him. 『I don’t even expect you to understand.』 Her old wounds were crying out and spitting out blood.

“…Does even apologies make you feel bad?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. “I just… don’t understand why you’re apologizing.”

“Even after all the mistakes I’ve made against you?”

“Well…”

The Archmage reflexively clenched his fists in front of an expression that was quite different from generosity.

“Aren’t those things inevitable?”

This is by no means a statement made out of generosity.

If I had to define it, it would be roughly the result of such things as resignation and giving up.

“I’d rather be angry.”

The moment Archmage realized this, he became infinitely sad. 『I just wanted you to support me…』 It was a drop of sadness as the person who would forever remain in the past overlapped with the young man in front of him.

“Why are you so incompetent when it comes to being a great sage? Why couldn’t you trust me and made you have to run away? “Please make me so angry.”

Disappointment comes from expectations. Hatred and reluctance arise because we are conscious of it. Intense resentment is maintained by mulling over it, and hatred is called hatred because it hurts.

“…Please don’t give up on everything by saying you can’t help it.”

In the end, that’s the way it is. Negative emotions will never arise if there is no interest in the other person.

“Wasn’t it too hard a life to end like that?”

Therefore, the scariest thing is indifference.

“Wasn’t the world too harsh for a premiere?…”

Yes. Will the confidence that he will do so be fulfilled? What it means is to give up even having expectations. The thoughtlessness achieved through acquired abandonment and repeated resignation is…

『Where did we go wrong?』

The moment when we reach the end, giving up on everything, is bound to be the most frightening thing.

She quietly lowered her eyelids as she touched the worst memory of her life. Grumbling. Transparent dew drops rolled down from her head in front of her eyes. It was a fallen tree that was hidden by white fur and could not be seen from the outside.

“…why.”

But some Nakru were not like that.

“Why do you say that?”

Raindrops secretly fell from the sky and slid down my chin silently. It didn’t clump together. It was so small and pale that its presence was barely visible only in the flowing light.

“I don’t blame you.”

“Demon knight.”

“You just fulfilled your mission, and the unrest that occurred in the process was inevitable.”

“Demon Knight….”

“Also, if you go back to the beginning of the mistakes you made against me, there is my fault.”

“….”

“But how can I blame you?”

Ah, it was the smallest and biggest sadness in the world.