Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

Episode 333 If I Could (19)

“Don’t leave this place for three days. “If you try to leave, I’ll unleash my demonic power… That’s what he said.”

When Faust first said that, I felt a subtle sense of discomfort. This is why, if he had truly intended to encounter the chase team, he would not have said so directly.

You even warned me with an oath that if you went out there, you would be discovered and there would be a fight? If the boy lost his mind while fighting with the priest, it would have been a good thing for Fury, so why did he stop it?

Doesn’t that mean that in the end, the collision could have caused him greater harm than the benefit?

“Afterwards, he caused me severe pain and prevented me from moving.”

He even went as far as to do something like that.

I sensed deep doubt in the boy’s words, but ultimately refrained from asking questions. I decided that it would not be too late to listen to everything and ask questions.

“…But I wasn’t kicked out right away. I tried to suffice with that. The search near the cabin would be over in one day, so I thought that would be really good.”

However, when the story went in that direction, I started to become speechless in a different way.

“Taking advantage of the darkness, the hunter tried to kill me.”

When the boy was betrayed rather than betrayed, the force was even stronger. I pursed my lips in the deep sadness I felt.

“Actually, it was natural. His child died from demonic energy… that is, due to the devil… Even if that wasn’t the case, it’s right to be hostile to humans who feel demonic energy.” It was

n’t just me. Daniel, who wanted to say something, and Meister, who wanted to say something, ended up listening in silence.

“But… But at that time, I was really sad about it…”

Then the child who could not cry cried loudly.

“I was so angry at the sense of betrayal.”

Ah. Why do I have anger that can’t be resolved by saying that there is nothing I can do about it?

* * *

By the time I suppressed my anger, it had already happened. The boy couldn’t remember what happened in the last second, but he was sure he had done something.

Grumble!

It had no choice but to do so because the bright flames engulfed the hunter.

“Oh, no!”

The hunter didn’t howl. Or it didn’t. The flame burned her and disappeared in an instant.

“Baukiss!”

The hunter’s husband’s scream was the only thing that echoed in the boy’s ears.

“You devil!”

The sweet and kind person disappeared, and only the screams and grief of a person who lost his wife remained, which were transformed into offensive magic. A huge ball of fire lit up everywhere and then flew straight towards the boy.

Quang! I barely escaped it, but there was a huge hole in the wall.

“You said Baukis!!”

Magic takes a long time to cast. Perhaps considering that, the hunter’s husband grabbed a dagger hanging on the wall and started swinging it at random.

Compared to a boy who had formally studied swordsmanship, his skills were poor.

“That’s what I wanted…”

However, the boy couldn’t even suppress him carelessly. In order to subdue him without causing injury, he needed a certain amount of skill and cool-headed reason to use that skill, but that was not possible for the boy at the moment.

I didn’t want this.

I’d rather die for that person.

If I get hurt, the devil will come out again.

All kinds of emotions swirled and mingled in the boy’s heart. The ambiguity that emerged in the process that neither one nor I could choose was like a thorn. It scratched and pierced his heart, engraving an unworldly pain into the boy’s soul. The boy’s mind became even more distant from reason.

“dare!!”

[Hmph.]

And the moment the hunter’s husband swung the knife at the boy’s head, the boy instantly suffered tremendous pain. It was clear who did it. The only problem was that I couldn’t deal with it.

Suddenly!

The body, which lost strength, was suddenly hit by the opponent’s attack.

It was a huge wound that did not split the bones from the left forehead to the right chin, but did split the muscles and eyeballs.

“Aaaah!”

At that moment, the boy’s last sense of reason evaporated and instinct took the lead. The devil narrowly avoided taking the initiative, but that was all.

The boy’s dagger, which was just blocking the attack because he couldn’t bear to let it die or kill him, reflexively went into an attack stance and unleashed its magic power.

A demonic force made of lines passed through the hut.

“Keueuuuuu!”

The boy didn’t even have the presence of mind to check what happened after that, so he just sat down. The pain I could feel on my face was so clear that there was nothing I could do.

dump.

However, fortunately there were no further attacks. It was natural. The other person suffered the same attack from the boy.

“Ugh…”

No, maybe it wasn’t exactly the same.

“…?”

Unlike the boy who somehow managed to avoid a fatal wound, the opponent was killed immediately with that single blow.

“ah.”

The boy realized this only after the blood that flowed from his face formed a puddle. He had killed it.

* * *

「If only I had not chosen to stay there, if I had chosen to live on my own instead of taking my time, if only I had acted more wisely instead of being foolish enough to believe the devil’s words… if only I had suppressed my emotions at the last moment and run away right away. “They wouldn’t have died like that.”

Faust pondered over the what-if sentence he always had in his hand.

“So it’s my fault.”

If only it were possible. If only it were possible.

“It was all my fault.”

It would have reduced the number of people who became unhappy as a result.

“It’s all my fault…”

the boy sometimes thinks.

If only he had never been born and the devil had not targeted him. His family must have been alive and well. All the disasters that he caused while embracing the devil would not have happened. Even Gretchen wouldn’t have been taken to a foreign land to do penance.

So in the end, it’s the boy’s fault. His very existence was a problem. It was all his fault…

“Why is it your fault! Why is that…!”

The Heretic Questioner who hugged him shouted. It seemed as if his warm and affectionate attitude would bring tears to his eyes, but Faust barely shook his head.

“It was something that could have been easily avoided. Nevertheless, it was my foolishness that led to that ending. So, that’s my responsibility. “It was my fault.”

Even if you are young, there are definitely sins that cannot be forgiven. Therefore, Faust did not ignore his sin. From the moment Gretchen, who knew nothing, set foot there, he had been determined to do just that.

“This is something that can be avoided…”

“Ah… That’s a hit. “I don’t even know where to start talking about this.”

“….”

Faust clenched his fists as he looked at the three adults with distorted faces. A sin engraved on the earth. The only correct words the devil had said were still vivid in my ears.

“…you were just trying to choose the best path available at the time. This means that we just wanted to choose the best option that would cause the least damage and cause as few injuries as possible. But why is it your fault… Why is it your fault…”

“Huh. I tried my best to keep the number of people involved to a minimum, but why is it your fault? Did you show hostility to those people, did you try to harm them, or did you do something? They were the first to take a hostile stance just because they possessed demonic energy, and they were the ones who broke the compromise and made a surprise attack. Is it so wrong to defend yourself in a situation where the devil would come out if you were attacked? No matter how much I think about it, I don’t think so.”

“…They are right. “It is certainly a tragedy, but… it is your fault and not your responsibility.”

“Some misfortune overcomes good intentions. That’s just the way it is. So please don’t say it’s your sin…”

But the adults once again distracted him from his resolution. The words chosen after careful consideration were slow and quiet, but they stuck to my ears well.

“But…”

“But it’s not just the jersey. Anyway, these guys are stuck. Can’t we live a little more flexible and shamelessly? “You said you would help me, but why do you attack me first? Why can’t I just live my life telling you that you were the one who made the mistake first?”

It shouldn’t have been like that. Faust felt that the kindness was so painful that it would only increase his desire to reach places that should not be touched, so he stopped shouting.

“He’s not the only one I killed!”

He had to be a criminal. The boy who could not save anyone, not even his family, must remain a sinner.

“…The Meister said that if I didn’t exist, others would be sacrificed as vessels, right? But even if he changes his body once a month, there are twelve people in a year.”

Salvation was something only someone like Gretchen deserved.

“And if it’s seven years… if it’s seven years…”

However, the boy was unable to do arithmetic even in the gloomy atmosphere, so he stopped talking. If there are seven times twelve… So…

“84 people. But only the one who was pointed out by the bowl died? “You have to calculate how many others will be swept away.”

“Even if we consider a family of four, there are one hundred, no, two hundred…”

“…336 people.”

Calculation is very fast. As expected, the Great Master who is also a magician is different. wow.

Faust was amazed without realizing it for a split second in the heavy air. The meister read that expression and slightly twitched some of his facial muscles.

“So why do you count that?”

“…Ah.”

Still, you can’t stay on the side road for too long. Faust barely managed to control his expression as the air suddenly became lukewarm.

“Anyway… Even if the devil uses someone else as a vessel because I’m not there, the number of people sacrificed is about 336.”

“Yes. I did not take into account the fluctuating changes in numbers, and the average period when the devil uses a vessel that is not suitable for use was based solely on my own guess. It is a completely simple calculation that does not include variables such as murders that may have occurred during the period when the devil moves, but it is rough. “If you look at it, you might think so.”

“…On the other hand, the number of people I killed to bring you back is in the thousands. There are so many people who arbitrarily killed and sacrificed themselves to bring Gretchen back!”

This time, they will be despised. Finally, all the undeserved tolerance and opportunities given to the boy will be withdrawn.

The boy confessed his last sin while vomiting blood. I will die without salvation. Unlike your family who would have returned to God’s arms, you will be locked in eternal despair.

A part of my heart felt relieved as I vomited out the deadly sin that prevented me from even hoping for forgiveness. It was a feeling of relief that was close to emptiness.

“…So please tell me it was my fault. “Please don’t deny my sins.”

You know, that’s what I think when I hear those words from you.

I wonder if there is still a chance for me to repent, repent, and go to God’s side. I wondered if I could also reach the place where my family would already be.

“Just pretend it’s all my fault.”

However, the boy had a lot of blood and sin on his hands.

I don’t dare face my family with these hands. He could not hold the boy’s younger brother and rub his face with his older brother and sister, much less place him in the arms of his parents.

I can’t stand next to the only remaining night sky.

“I am the bad one…”

Therefore, there is no need for salvation. His life had to stay in the gutter forever and he had to go somewhere where there was only darkness.

There had to be just such an ending.

“God…”

But the Heretic Questioner hugged the boy in an embrace that he could not bear to give. The dripping raindrops are just yellow and excessive.

“Why do you impose all sin and suffering on one person? Why are you subjecting this huge ordeal to just this little lamb?…”

“Oh shit. I want to smoke. “Can I smoke?”

“…don’t smoke around kids.”

“I’m sure you’ve seen it all by now.”

“It’s too late to set an example, so I’m giving up, but the problem of second-hand smoke still remains.”

“I didn’t say anything in the workshop.”

“Because I didn’t know at the time.”

He doesn’t even deserve this kind of kindness, but is it still okay for this moment? Faust hesitated for a while and then leaned his head on the Inquisitor’s shoulder. Excessive warmth flowed down my head.

“…hey.”

At that time, Meister, who had been drinking alcohol instead of smoking a cigarette, slammed his glass down.

“I can’t bear to defend you for offering sacrifices or anything. But damn… there must have been a reason why you did that because it seemed like there was no other answer, right?”

“That alone justifies my crime…”

“Who justifies it? This can never be justified. “No matter what social promise you bring, it is at the level of a crime.”

Even after emptying a bucket of alcohol, there is not a trace of displeasure on his face.

“But don’t we have the right to cry out that it’s unfair? “Don’t you even have the right to tell other people to look at themselves before pointing fingers and asking if you are confident that you won’t do the same when they find themselves in the same situation?”

However, the only thing that exists is the clear reason and the venom of the survivors who went through the chaos.

“If given a choice, neither you nor I would have made that choice. “What we didn’t have was opportunity, not brains.”

“…But how can I—”

“Listen up you damn kid. Do you think the more you do that, the easier your life will become? “Do you think you’ll feel at ease if you take on everything, treat yourself like a criminal, and abuse yourself until you die?”

He filled his glass with more alcohol and took a shot. No one could open their mouths due to that force. bang. The glass was placed on the table again.

“Absolutely not. Guilt comes in endless waves. “Once you start blaming yourself, it feels like all the misfortunes in the world are because of you, and the suffering repeats endlessly.”

And the Meister’s voice continued loudly above it.

“If that’s the case, it’s better to live by evil. crime? I admit it, so I repent and am trying to atone. But what right do you have to say something like that? What are you proud of? Are you confident you can do better than me? “Live with that mindset.”

okay. It was clearly poisonous. The tenacity of a person who can put himself first at any moment, even if it means giving up anything in return.

“No problem. “I wonder how you survived, but if you get out of here, what will happen to the victims or their deaths caused by me?”

A ferocity based on guilt.

“If you’re going to live with guilt anyway, it’s better to live with poison. Live with the determination to accomplish something equal to the weight of your life. “From the moment I shoulder someone else’s sacrifice, my life ceases to be mine alone.”

“But…”

Faust bent his fingers several times in front of a mindset he had never imagined.

『To put it bluntly, I barely survived by killing thousands of people and replacing an adult like myself. It’s not polite to hang up here.』

Even though the starting point was different, the confusion was even greater because we had heard the same thing. 『Just let me live. “Just live, Pasha….” The people he admired and felt sorry for the most all talked about the boy’s life. As if that was really the answer.

“…the persecuted confessed his sins, Thou righteous one. Please forgive those who pursue righteousness even in the midst of injustice. Blessed are those who guard against karma, for they have the nose of a god. Blessed is he who repents of his sins, for the mouth of God is there. Blessed are those who mourn in their lives, for they have the ears of God…”

As if that were really the case.

“Salvation to those who wander without a path….”

Tuduk.

Immediately after the Heretic Questioner responded to the boy’s confession, the body that began to melt fell like a single tear, as if to signal that the time had come.