Isekai Kaeri no Ossan wa, Fusei Sukiru de Fathercon Musume-tachi o Tororori ni

Chapter 54: Post-War Treatment

According to what Ayako-chan told me, Yuuta was completely fooled.

“Are you okay? Saeki-kun you’re burning up, and you’ve been saying nonsense all over…huh? You don’t even remember how you got to this toilet? Did your fever get so high you got delirious? Please take care of yourself, since it seems like this could often happen to minors.”

That’s what she seemed to have said to Yuuta as her face approached his, which allowed him to quickly agree with what she said. With his face red up to his ears, Yuuta asserted that he’ll “go get it checked”.

Kana seemed to have calmed down after that, so I don’t think it’s necessary to be in conflict with her anymore.

Now regarding the cloned geniuses, there’s no way for me to deal with them at this point. The society just have to accept them.

Here’s a way to convince the public about what happened:

“Some scientists somewhere had illegally tried to create clones, and they only took advantage of Saeki Kana to gain fame.”

Of course, this is a realm that’s nowhere close to Heaven nor Hell, so we couldn’t even try to give a fantasy twist to the story. Kana turned out to be famous in the internet as the “Splitting JK”, and they even got some AA1 made of her, and that’s just a fitting retribution in my opinion.

All that’s left is for the Saeki household to overcome themselves. I’m just a hero, not a counselor nor a social worker. All I could do is blast away anything that gets in my way with overwhelming firepower, and this is not a situation that could be solved with that.

“And so, it’s time for us to take care of us, huh.”

It was midnight, and all of us are gathered in a small playground close to our apartment, looking at each other’s extremely familiar face.

Of course, by us, I mean us Nakamoto Keisukes.

There’s Keisuke A, who took care of the twenty Kanas in the summit, Keisuke B who went through his days as usual to cover for our absence, and Keisuke C who was in charge of scouting.

All three of us Nakamoto Keisukes kept raising our hands, insisting that “if you need to erase someone, erase me.”

When everything is over, the one with the biggest value was left to live, where the other two are erased. That was the plan before I multiplied myself so I wouldn’t cause disorder in society.

“I’m the right-hand-side made along the left-hand-side, so I should be the least original, right? Come on and erase me then” said Keisuke C, pointing his thumb on his own face with a catastrophic suggestion.

And to that, Keisuke B tried to raise an objection.

“No, I was just dealing with the stupid stuff that went down in the TV studio. There shouldn’t be a problem if I get erased with this memory. A and C should still be here then, because you both know about what happened here the most.”

Of course, I have my own materials for objection.

“How is that stupid? I think keeping B would be the best choice for our social life. It’s important to remember what happened at work yesterday.”

Surprisingly, the three of us had huge self-sacrificing tendencies. But at the same time, we also had thought of being considerate of one another, so is this not a sense of self-preservation?

Speaking myself is still something I can’t get used to in the end.

“How about we just decide it with a lottery?”

“You can’t use something that random. The choice between which Keisuke’s memory should be left behind is a matter of life and death.

“Then who gets erased doesn’t matter, we can just tell each other about what happened the past few days, then at that point all of us would know the same thing.”

“That’s broad…”

Keisuke C responded to Keisuke B’s suggestion with a tired expression.

As for me, a certain idea came up when he said “all of us would know the same thing.”

“I’ve got one idea. Medically speaking, it’s a crazy idea, but…”

“What?”

“I’m going to split you both into two,” I said. “I’ll split Keisuke B and Keisuke C in half and stick them together with magic and so the two opposite sides would become one. If things go well, Keisuke B and C’s memories will be combined into the same person. We’re the same person so there shouldn’t be a case of organ rejection. Then we can repeat the process until our memories combine into one person. After all that, the other two will be erased.”

“That’s alright.”

“Let’s do it now.”

I thought it was such a twisted idea, but the two are pretty twisted themselves for spending no time before agreeing.

“I wouldn’t want our clothes to be split, so let’s strip.”

“We should’ve cast Conceal before we gathered. Wouldn’t be weird if someone reports about three naked old men in the park at night.”

True, the two of us said with a wry smile as we stripped.

Also, no matter how strong we are as heroes, what’s cold is still cold, so I want to get this over with ASAP.

Like two peas in a pod, all of us Nakamoto Keisuke faced each other and swung down our Sword of Light. Two of the Keisukes were split straight in half, creating four pieces of meat standing around. The wounds were immediately burned by the Sword of Light along with the bisection, so not even a single drop of blood came out.

I took Keisuke B and C by the hand as they twitched violently, barely holding on to their lives. No matter how strong my regenerative power is, they’ll get annihilated if I don’t hurry.

I aligned the two by the cross-section cut and cast Heal. The spell shuts off open wounds and works so well that it had been sung as a revival spell.

Either way, first and foremost, I think the healing worked, but it still leaves me worried. Did I really succeed?

As I swallowed my spit in anticipation, the Keisukes woke up. The two of them rubbed their head in circle, looking like nothing major had happened to them.

“…aah…I see, so this is how it ended up.”

“The memories fade incompletely, and new memories came flowing in.”

The two of them are now Keisuke B, and at the same time, Keisuke C, and as I was still confused on how to address them, I called out to them.

“Alright, then the two of you need to cut me in half and stick one half of you to me.”

I’ll do it, called out the left-side Keisuke.

“Close your eyes, this’ll just take a moment.”

“Thanks.”

I spread my legs to my shoulder’s width and adopted a daunting pose before tightly shutting my eyes, but even then I could still feel the airflow changing as the other me swings his sword.

Here it comes.

It’s gonna hit me soon.

For a split second, I was severed in half.

“…kh!”

There.

A whip of heat passed through the middle of my body, and at the same time, my consciousness was cut short.

“ “

There was a few moment of nothingness, and the moment it returns, a surge of memories came flowing like a torrent: the memories of Keisuke C who had been constantly monitoring the Saeki household; the memories of Keisuke B who went to work to Sumire TV studio and got acquainted with an odd idol in the dressing room…wait, acquainted? Is this even okay?

“I do feel bad for Ange.”

I rose my torso and hung my head. What the hell was I doing.

Naturally, I first glanced at my abdomen. As I did, I noticed the two marks I left with a permanent marker on my flank. To my right is the letter A, and to my left is the letter B. Seems like through some complications, my left half had returned to its original position.

To my side was a tragic scene of my exact half, laying down like a dead flesh.

“Aren’t you going to heal this part?” I asked towards Keisuke (B + C)/2 (I know it’s a weird expression but there’s no other way to explain it), but they showed a troubled expression.

“You’re gonna erase him anyways so I don’t see the need. Come on, kill me already. With all three of our memories combined, you’re going to be the truest Keisuke, and both parts of your body belong to the original anyways.”

“…it’s been one thing after another, huh. Thanks a lot.”

“Don’t think about it too much. Besides, I’m you.”

The one to fell the strongest hero would only be the strongest hero. That said, my ATK and DEF status keeps going higher and higher, so if I were to attack the other Keisukes, I would annihilate them without a doubt.

“See ya”

With a magic that I unleashed, the Keisuke copies in front of me vanished.

【Nakamoto Keisuke won the battle!】

【Obtained 99,999,999,999, EXP】

【Obtained 999,999 Skill Points】

【Nakamoto Keisuke reached level 301! 】

【Enhanced performance: Unique Skill: Paternity!】

【Enhanced performance: Skill: Holy Sword!】

【Enhanced performance: Skill: Law!】

【Obtained Skill: All Attribute Resistance!】

With the defeat of a hero, an obscene amount of EXP came rushing into me. The thing is, if I get even stronger, it will bring me inconvenience, but well, whatever.

Next I need to go through an estate sale. The three Keisuke’s shirt and shoes are scattered around the place, so I took one piece from each that looked most expensive. There are underwears, jeans, Y-shirts, belts, a sweater, a coat, and a pair of sneakers. I only need enough for one person, so I look through them carefully.

After I sorted them all out, I burnt the two other sets of clothes with magic, since it would just get in the way of the act I’m going to go through from now on. I’ll have the two of them go on a trip, so having their clothes left behind would be unnatural.

“…damn, it’s cold.” I muttered, shivering. Since it seemed like I’d catch a cold if I keep this any longer, I hastily put on the clothes and decided to go home quickly.

Shrugging my shoulders, I turned towards my apartment.

Note:

1 Not sure what this actually is, but first google search result points to ASCII Art