Library of Rain

On a Lonely Walk Together

Rain paced the halls of Imter Manor. She was tired, in pain, and her new friend abandoned her to play with others. To make things worse, she had just discovered that Lord and Lady Estom had already left the gation with the handcart and left Rain and Lucus behind.

How could they? Rain understood them leaving her behind, but they should have taken Lucus with them. Rain sped up; she needed to find him so they could go home together. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be too hurt from being left behind. 

It took another few minutes of searching before she found Lucus. When she finally spotted him, he was leaving a large room to one side of the spire’s center, trailing after a bunch of laughing boys his age. 

One step was all Rain needed to see the slight limp he was trying to hide. Her attention drawn, she realized he was also missing the furs that had been peeking out of his collar when they arrived. 

What happened?

Running to her brother, Rain tried to hug him only to be stopped by his outstretched hand on her forehead. 

“Go away, weirdo.”

He had a sour smell, and his voice cracked like when he was tired.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Now go away.” 

Rain narrowed her eyes at the lie, but she shouldn’t press him on it when he was hurt.

“Um, Lord and Lady Estom already left.  I was wondering if you wanted to go home with me.”

A mix of emotions spread across Lucus’s face. Before settling on tired just like Rain felt. 

“Fine, let's go.”

***

Lucus refused to limp no matter how bad his knee hurt. He was useless; he was worthless, but he wouldn’t show weakness. He wouldn’t give his father a reason to think less of him.

Looking up at the sky, Lucus fought to keep his emotions under control. Why was he so useless? He had tried to help his family, but he was mocked by everyone at the gathering. All the time he spent studying and preparing to make his family proud was wasted. He had failed so badly that his father hadn’t even bothered to wait for him. Why couldn’t he be good enough to make them proud?

***

Rain kicked a pebble down the street as she walked. She intentionally slowed her pace so Lucus wouldn’t have to strain his hurt leg. Rain could still remember how much it hurt to walk on her injured ankle when her slave-freeing escapade went wrong. 

The complete silence crushed down on Rain, leaving her with nothing to do but think, and she didn’t like what she was finding. She had spent some of her time tonight looking for information and trying to unravel the schemes to track Tyix down, but she had spent more of it selfishly playing with her new friend.

Rain kicked the pebble again, harder this time. To make things worse, while she had been off having fun, her brother was suffering. She had thought she was being smart by avoiding him. She shouldn’t have been so arrogant. Of course, bad things could happen even if she wasn’t around.

***

Not only was Lucus a disappointment to his parents but also to his sisters. Rain’s shoulders were more slumped than he had ever seen them. If he hadn’t been so useless and pathetic, he would have had something to give her to cheer her up. But he was a failure even in that.

“I’m sorry, Rain. House Zers made coat pins for all the young guests, but I lost yours.”

His sister finally looked up at him.

“How did you lose it?”

Lucus didn’t want to admit how pathetic he was. He didn’t want to tell her how four boys from lesser houses had mocked him in front of everyone.

Lucus let his hand stray to his coat pocket where the poison gift their leader had given him sat: a paintbrush carved to look like a sword. He could still hear the mocking words. ‘Here’s a sword you can actually use.’ 

“I dropped it somewhere.” he lied.

Why did she have to look so betrayed right now? Not that he couldn’t blame her; she was right to be disappointed that he had treated her gift with such a lack of care.

“I’m sorry, Rain.”

***

Rain strangled the sides of her dress. She had left him to get hurt, and he was apologizing to her. This was so wrong. It was Rain’s fault for leaving him back there. No it was her fault for not taking over Tineak by now. 

That's right. She had spent months ‘preparing’ after her last adventure got her hurt, and even now, she was doing the bare minimum to accomplish her goals. Until Rain fixed things, good people like Lucus were going to get hurt. 

“I'm sorry for not being there for you. I need to stop being afraid. I need to stop only thinking about what I want.”

That's Right. Sitting and waiting for her opponents to make the first move was the wrong thing to do. Rain had never waited for bad people to attack her first; she acted and got things done.

Rain drew her leg back and kicked the pebble as far as she could, watching it bounce and rattle down the empty street. She needed to make up with Lucus for her failure tonight and stop people from hurting him ever again.

***

His sister’s words hit Lucus in the gut. ‘I need to stop only thinking about what I want.’ he felt like he was being called out. Lucus knew what he wanted. He wanted his parents to be proud of him. He wanted his sisters to look up to him. He wanted to stop feeling like a parasite who only took from people, whether it was his parents’ precious time, Rain’s gifts, or the care of the servants in the manor; all Lucus did was take. He had nothing to offer. 

He wanted to be needed to bring something to the lives of others. But he was useless. He would never amount to anything by himself. If he had swallowed his pride and asked Rain for one of her books he would be a classer. Sure, he would never be able to earn the respect of his parents or sisters; everything he accomplished and any praise they gave him would be because of Rain, not him. But if he’d had a class, he could have protected those pins tonight. He could have given Rain her pin, and then he would have given Sunrise his. But he’d been selfish and refused to ask because he wanted people to praise him, not some class he got for reading a book.

“Rain, I need your help. I promise I won't ever ask for anything from you again.”

Rain looked back at him, her eyes burning with that confidence he wished he had. 

“I’ll help you now and any other time you need me. I promise I won’t fail you again.”

For the first time since he’d met his sister, Lucus didn’t feel fear. How could he when she was smiling like that? That wide toothy smile that promised all kinds of mischief and fun, with her eyes squeezed shut in complete trust of him. It reassured Lucus in what he needed to do.

“I want to read one of your books.”

His sister staggered like he’d punched her in the gut. Her eyes opened wide, and Lucus could see her pupils dilate even in the dark. Her whole body started to shake. What had he done? Was she hurt?

Lucus pulled his sister into a hug.

“Rain, Rain, what's going on? Are you okay?”

Nothing. She just huddled into his arms, shaking. What was he supposed to do? Lucus remembered one of his nannies stroking his hair to comfort him when he had a bad dream. He wasn’t sure what was going on with Rain, but from the way she was clutching his shirt like she was terrified that he might leave her, it was worth a try.

Lucus stroked her hair. He’d never seen her like this before. She loved to get in his space, but she always seemed so confident. He’d never seen her scared.

***

She was okay, right? Rain tried to let go of Lucus’s shirt, but her hands didn’t want to listen. Where had all her rage-filled bravado gone? If it wasn’t for Lucus stroking her hair, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to think right now.

“Are you feeling better? What happened?”

Rain didn’t want to answer. If she answered, she would have to confront the truth and live by the resolution she had made before Lucus made his request. 

“Are you okay? I promise nothing is going to hurt you.”

Rain could smell something acrid on Lucus’s clothes. If she had to guess, someone had poured something on him when she had been off playing and neglecting her duty to gain power. 

“Talk to me, sis. Do I need to carry you home?”

“I’m… okay.”

“Oh, thank Agro. what happened?”

“I can’t let you read one of those books. What if I lose you?”

She hated how small her voice sounded. Had her anger and conviction of only a moment ago been a lie?

“Rain, I…” he seemed to be struggling to find words and only squeezed Rain tighter. “I need to be able… I need power. I need to be able to paint my own life the way I want it rather than accept the scribbles everyone gives me.”

Rain wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by that, but she understood the need for power. Without it, anyone could hurt you or the people and things you loved. 

“Lucus, do you promise me that if you read one of my books, you won’t leave me?”

“I won’t ever leave you, Rain. You're my little sister, after all.”

***

It was decided Lucus would cheat and take power from one of those books. He was sure his parents would be interested in his life, just not because of him. Lucus would have to live knowing that he had given up on himself.

Letting his kneck go limp, Lucus gazed up at the sky. The sharp lines of the stars were unobstructed by clouds. And three of the moons were hanging in an almost perfect triangle. The way the moons reflected light on each other, creating unique patterns, was beautiful. He’d never been able to draw the moons in a way that captured their true beauty. 

He would need to keep working on that. Even if a class fixed his lack of talent in other places, at least his painting would still be his.

***

Rain nodded into Lucus’s chest. Even if the thought made her sick, she would let him read one of her books. She had already failed to protect him herself, and things would only get worse as he associated with others from the Gathering. Rain had to admit that she didn’t know everything and let Lucus choose for himself. Everyone in Tineak would soon know the name Tyix, and Lucus needed to be able to protect himself if, no, when everything came crashing down. 

“I do have one condition. I want the names of everyone who hurt you tonight.”

It was time for Tyix to be active again. And if certain people who hurt the ones she loved had bad encounters with her, oh well.