Life, Once Again!

After Story 25

The long message he received in the morning could be summed up into two sentences: Don’t live your life like that, and you will also get hurt one day. It was something that his club senior had sent him while paying back the 300 thousand won. That senior used all sorts of fancy words in order to sound sarcastic and smart at the same time.

He was touched and sent a reply – Good luck with life. Sarcasm was best done short, rather than long. After blocking that messenger ID, he erased the number from his contacts. He would probably be nicknamed an impolite junior for a long time, but he couldn’t care less. College was now far from what he considered his life.

After cleaning his house and examining his work, he left the house. He had quite a tight schedule today as he had to visit various places around Seoul. Inside the train, he checked the profiles that he had prepared. His neat-looking photo ID was glued well, and below it was his introduction, which thankfully didn’t have any mistakes.

As he had done nothing as an actor, his filmography was completely empty. It was a profile without any nutrition. He knew that it wouldn’t work, but he had to sow the seeds anyway. A farmer can’t expect to reap anything without scattering the seeds first after all.

He visited various production companies and agencies in Seoul. As he had expected, he was unable to see anyone related to the industry. The only thing that accepted the profiles of nameless actors and actresses was the profile box in front of the front door. There were a bunch of profiles, all carefully crafted by various people, inside the plastic box.

He was used to this scenery. It was a process he always went through in the lives he chose to be an actor. He placed his own profile, which was inside a cheap, plastic clear file, on top of the others.

He came across two women in their mid-20s in front of the building entrance. He instantly realized that they were also actors who came here to send in their profiles. Like how hikers would greet each other in the mountains out of a sense of kinship, he also greeted the youths in front of him.

The women nodded after being greeted and headed to the stairs. While there wasn’t a word exchanged, it was a large amount of consolation. Just the fact that there were others walking the same path, was an encouragement and a blessing.

One, two, three places. He walked around everywhere and sent in his profiles. At the fourth company, he was able to meet someone in charge. He handed his profile to the manager who came down to empty the box and put out a new one. While putting his profile in a hard plastic box and handing it to a person was ultimately the same, it sure felt different.

“Please take good care of me.”

He knew how easily these words would escape the manager’s ears and disappear into thin air, but he couldn’t help but say it. After all, the Han Maru of this life had nothing to boast about just yet.

He came across other youths on his way out. The piles of profiles in their bags signified that they were of the same kin. He greeted them with his eyes just like before and walked past.

As he was walking on a road where production companies were right next to each other, he was able to see many youths wandering around with their profiles. He stopped and watched them for a while before chuckling — you’re in that group too, don’t be mistaken.

He got a hold of himself and started moving again. He still had eleven more places to go. All he had was time anyway. As he walked, he would practice his lines, and when he arrived at one, he would put in his profile. Wherever he went, the profile boxes were full. Even the salvation army donation buckets at their peak would be less full than them.

He visited a convenience store to buy a bottle of water and started walking again. He tried changing his walking methods and even the way he swung his arms. He had to have a perfect understanding of his body so that he could respond to whatever role he was given.

While he had lived a perfectly fine life for the past 22 years, there was a need to redefine his entire body in order to become an actor. It wasn’t an easy feat to control the parts of his body that moved due to his subconscious to his consciousness. In some sense, it was even more difficult than training his body with exercise. He felt disoriented as though the limbs he had been using his entire life were suddenly gone and he had a new person’s limbs. He needed some more time in order to use his body with more detail.

His phone in his pocket vibrated. He got a text message. It wasn't spam, but in fact, he would like it if it was spam instead, since it was an announcement of failure. However, it was a good thing that he was contacted quickly. There were many places that did not send out any notifications despite the fact that application dates for their auditions were over, with no response meaning failing.

While he knew that, he couldn’t help but hold a tiny amount of hope regardless. It was a form of human psychology that he couldn’t fix even after living for a long time.

When he dropped off almost all of his profiles, he saw that it was past 2. Maru went to a nearby bean sprout gukbap restaurant. Being able to eat a whole meal for 3,000 won was one of the miracles that were still left in this era, not to mention, there were side dishes as well. He put the white rice into the soup and took a spoonful. It was the taste of 3,000 won. He was chewing the diced radish kimchi when he heard some sound from the TV.

When he turned around, he saw a TV hung up on the wall at the end. An old lady in the restaurant was changing channels with the remote.

“Unni, have you seen this?”

Another old lady from the kitchen came out. After dusting off her apron, the kitchen lady said that she hadn’t seen it and told her to raise the volume.

Maru looked at the screen with his spoon in his mouth. It was a drama that he could understand everything about even without knowing what happened before and what would happen after.

The one with the paternity confirmation should be the mother-in-law, and the one crying should be the evil daughter-in-law. Just her makeup indicated that she was a villainess, with thick eyebrows and makeup that emphasized her eyes.

For about five minutes, cheeks were slapped, pottery was shattered, and the husband burst into tears.

"Welcome."

The lady who was focusing on the TV put down her remote when she heard the door open. The people that came in here were the youths he came across on the streets.

Maru picked up the bowl and drank the remaining soup. After paying for the meal and getting changed, the lady changed the channel again. He could hear her grumble,

"I really have to wonder why every drama is the same these days. It's so bad that it can't get worse."

I wish I can show my face in that bad drama – he inwardly smiled before leaving the restaurant. He handed in his profile at the last production company before heading to a nearby PC-bang. He sat down and checked his email.

From the 11th of August to the 23rd, about half of the emails he sent were unread. As a minor actor, just the act of making himself known by another party was hard.

He moved his mouse to check another email. Some of the places gave him a reply. As for the few commercial film auditions, he failed to make them all.

As commercial films had a completely different number of applicants, he didn't even expect that much. Even in his numerous lives, there were hundreds if not thousands of people sending in their profiles if there was a public audition for a commercial film.

Even if the assistant director screens them primarily, there would still be hundreds. If Maru wanted to enter those hundreds, he would have to have a fitting face for a role or have verified skills.

From the commercials side, there were a few emails saying that they'll check his profile. There were also a few emails that wanted to meet face-to-face.

With commercials, while they were one-offs, it was just as accessible to the public as commercial films. If he managed to meet a good commercial and make his face known as a support character, it would be a very good indicator to describe who Han Maru was.

As he was reading the very office-like titles, he found a mail that caught his eye: [To actor Han Maru]. He clicked on the title.

-Hello. My name is Lee Yoonseok, a sophomore at Hohun university. I am reaching out to you after seeing your post in the internet café 'Together with Actors.' If it's okay with you, can you listen to my story? I am an aspiring director who dreams of joining the film industry, and I'm preparing to shoot a movie with a few friends who share the same dream.

He was very cautious in introducing himself. Maru could practically picture the cautiousness of the person as they typed.

He read the email line by line. While it was pretty long, the point was pretty simple: he wanted to shoot a film, but does not have any monetary leeway.

-We will not be able to pay you much. It might be less than 500 thousand won. Considering the shooting period in my mind, it might be equal to or even less than minimum wage. Despite my shame, I'd like to ask regardless. Would you be willing to help us?

He took his hands off the mouse and leaned back on the chair. A bunch of youths taking on a challenge. While it was so cliché, he quite liked it.

However, that didn't mean that he could join them so recklessly. Looking back at his previous lives, he found that most of these meetings were a waste of time.

The combination of immaturity and insufficiency usually produced an awkward result. The biggest problem was that there was nothing to learn from those mistakes. He was not so inept to learn anything from the challenge of first-timers.

"But just in case."

He wrote a positive reply because of two reasons.

One was that there were times when a director without any proficiency caused good incidents, and the second was that he had a lot of time. Rather than how much he would be paid specifically, he wanted to meet them and listen to what the film would be about.

After sending the email, he was about to close it and look around various agency websites. He got a response to the email he sent 10 minutes ago. There was a thank you and a phone number written in it. This fellow seemed to be quite impatient.

Maru checked the time before calling.

-Hello?

A man, whose childishness could still be heard from his voice, picked up.

"Is this director Lee Yoonseok?"

There was no response. Instead, Maru heard small voices. What do I do, it's here, guys, et cetera. Maru once again called out, "Hello?"

-Yes!

"Am I talking to director Lee Yoonseok?"

-Yes, that's me. Are you Mr. Han Maru?

"Yes. You sent your email so fast that I just decided to call you."

-I was in a meeting with the others when I received a notification. My word, thank you so much for responding.

He was someone who got excited easily. Maru corrected the young director's words. "You shouldn't be thanking me just yet. We should meet up and talk. I don't care if we have to talk over the phone though."

-We'd definitely like to meet you. We didn't get a feel for who you are from just a photo. Is that not okay with you?

"I'm okay with it. Let's decide on the most important thing once we meet up: whether to continue working or go separate ways after just greeting."

-Yes. Yes, of course. Then what time are you available? We are okay with any time.

"If you're okay with any time, how about tonight? Oh, before that, where are you right now?"

-We're in Seoul.

Maru put his phone between his ear and his shoulder before typing on the keyboard. When he searched Hohun university, he saw that it was a university in Jongno.

"Hohun University is in Jongno, huh? Are you there right now?"

-Yes. We're all here.

"Then I'll call you later. If we do meet though, I think it'll be past seven. Is that okay with you?"

-It's okay even if you want to meet us after midnight. Please come.

The college student was pretty energetic. His supposed friends around him also chimed in. Even through the phone, he liked the energy he felt from them.

"Okay. I have an audition in the afternoon, so I'll contact you after that."

-Really? I hope it goes well. Call me after you pass.

Maru received an energetic encouragement as he hung up.