Losing My Religion

Bonus 2: Resolve, Resolution, and Rest

Katie

As much as I wished otherwise, leaving Earth was an Ordeal, and Amber was taking my admission that she felt like my mom way too seriously. She helicoptered around as we took a quick trip to the coven to grab my things, and then I spent the next couple hours trying to explain why I didn’t need to bring every last bit to Hell, and, in fact, Kelith was more than capable of feeding and housing me, even being enthusiastic at the prospect.

I understood that she was sad about me leaving, but did she really have to be so annoying about it? 

Whatever, it was worth it, just to get the chance to see her reaction to the toys I’d had in my room, and the fact that they were one of the few things I was bringing. 

Saying goodbye to the other two was a much different experience. Sophia I didn’t know all that well, and though Lily seemed to think we could geek out together over magic, that’d never come through. Overall, it was awkward, but easy.

Lily, on the other hand, was much more difficult, but thankfully not as much as Amber. The two of us had undeniably gotten closer during our shared vacation in Hell. I’d been forced into the middle of her family drama, and, as much as I’d felt like an outsider listening in on their conversations, I’d grown to like Lily and her grandma. 

Starting out, when we’d first left, I’d liked Lily in a different way, but as I learned more about her, was desensitized to how attractive demon women were, and forced her into the ‘older sister’ box, my feelings shifted and now I found myself happy Lily and Amber had found each other, rather than jealous.

I still want my own polycule though…

After a hundred reminders and endless hugs, I finally opened the portal to my new home, a staggering rush of energy falling out of me as the orange oval came into existence a few feet over from where Lily’s had been a week ago. 

With one last wave and a sigh, I stepped through, into my new life.

—

Hell was the same, and as I spun around to gather my bearings and find my way to Seriza, I had a hard time pinning down why it was so odd to me that everything was the same – it’d only been a week.

Once I got going, walking through the sparse foliage and settling into my rhythm, however, I figured it out. My time in Hell hadn’t felt real to me, at least not once I got back on Earth, and I’d had a hard time believing it was anything more than a dream even as I was getting ready to move there. 

I breathed in the clean air, letting the trickles of afternoon sun cutting down from the bushy treetops settle onto my exposed purple skin, convincing myself that this was real – I could be a demon if I want to, live in a place where that was okay, and there was no way for anyone to stop me, least of all Lily’s aunt. 

I stifled a laugh at that thought – that was one part of their relationship that I had no envy for.

My thoughts drifted to the concept of family, and how abstract it was to me. The person most connected to me, at least on Earth, was Lily’s aunt, who had legal guardianship of me. But she wasn’t related to me by blood, and I had little care for what the governments of Earth had to say at this point. 

So then, were Lily, Amber, and Kelith my family? Could I really just pick and choose who counted and who didn't?

What a mess…

And that wasn’t even touching the possibility that my biological parents were out there somewhere, if Scarlet hadn’t killed them. Lily and I had talked about that one night before we left Hell, and we found out that unlike her, I’d never wondered about my missing parent(s), happy to follow along with what my caretakers and my older sister told me to do. 

Whatever, who cares?

I had better things to do than mulling over the meaning of life. I was in Hell and pointless pondering could wait until I was at least a hundred and fifty years old.

I kept my thoughts worry free until I reached the edge of the city – a shorter walk than it had been last time – and I heard a commotion, people yelling and a small crowd murmuring. 

Amongst a gathering of a dozen or so onlookers were a couple stern-looking demons dressed in black robes, and Scarlet.

What the fuck?

As I scampered over to the edge of the voyeurs, my overstuffed backpack bouncing behind me and my suitcase flopping in my hand, the only new context I gained was that she was arguing with the robe-wearers. I approached the friendliest looking person watching, someone on the younger side with pale green skin, and whispered to her, “What’s going on here?”

She startled, relaxing when she peeked back at me, having to look up slightly to match my height, “Apparently she managed to return to Hell, despite being banished, and now the SDL is trying to figure out what to do with her.” Her voice was as intrigued as it was worried.

“Holy shit…” I let out. Amber had told Lily and I about Scarlet’s story, but I hadn’t thought she could actually bypass her banishment. “What’s the SDL?” I asked belatedly, and when I saw her confused stare, I added, “I was raised by humans in their world.”

I was used to seeing looks of pity when I told that to adult demons, but getting the same reaction from someone around my age was just weird.

“The Servants of the Dark Lord,” she clarified, “Are you, like, okay? Do you need somewhere to stay?”

I blushed, half-considering accepting her offer and seeing if it went anywhere, before remembering that Kelith was expecting me and that I was in the middle of watching my… ex-mom get arrested. 

Scarlet yelled something about her contributions to magic, before gesturing threateningly at the nearest SDL person, who didn’t take kindly to the gesture.

They raised one finger and flicked it forward.

What happened next is hard to piece together, even with the benefit of hindsight. At some point there was a rush of warm air on my face, a blinding light, and a haunting scream, but I couldn’t say what order I experienced them in, nor could I even say whether I’d imagined one or more of them.

What I do know is that once the light cleared, the scream stopped, and I finally had the courage to look, Scarlet was gone, replaced by a pile of ash.

“Huh.” I said, before collapsing, exhaustion finally catching up to me and throwing me into surprised green arms.

—

I gasped. shooting upright in bed. 

My limbs scrambled around, searching for information in the dark, trying to find my spellcasting materials and prepare for danger.

A moment went by and I started to calm, realizing I’d left the materials in my backpack, and while I’d never done any combat spells with succubi magic, given how low on energy I’d always been, I could probably improvise a weak fireball in an emergency.

I hopped out of the bed and creeped across the wood floors in the dark, moving towards the thin line of light below the door. Faint blocky shapes stuck out on the wall, perhaps paintings or picture frames, but I couldn’t make out the details. 

The doorknob twisted open under my hand, the slight difference in the feel of the mechanics another reminder that I wasn’t on Earth, and my eyes shut momentarily from the influx of light.

The room I’d stepped into was chaotic – vines crept up and down the walls, pooling in the squared corners and flowers blooming across them in shades of pink. The floor, which I’d correctly identified as wood, didn’t have the usual smooth finish, making me worry I’d get a splinter. Each piece of furniture in the living room/kitchen combo was made of one contiguous plant, mostly thin branches that tangled and weaved together in intricate patterns – although I couldn’t tell if the wood was naturally pale or if it was dead and dried.

Lastly was the person who lived here, the green-skinned demon that’d been talking to me before I passed out. I hadn’t gotten a chance to notice her features, given the circumstances, but now, with her back turned to me as she hummed her way around the kitchen, I noticed that she didn’t have a tail or horns like many demons, though she did have blue flowers in her hair that, given the context, could’ve been hers. They were only a few centimeters in diameter, yellow dots surrounded by long, thin petals that contrasted with her short green hair.

After a moment of awkwardly staring at her, she spun around and saw me, her eyes widening. She strode across the room to grab my hands, looking up at me with concern. “Are you okay?”

I stared, noticing that she wore a short dress that matched the colour of the flowers in her hair, and that, despite how petite the rest of her body was, she probably needed the bra she wasn’t wearing.

“I’m Amaranth and this is my apartment – I carried you here because you were low on magic and we were close by,” she continued, oblivious to my gaze and eagerly waiting for my response.

I cleared my throat, taking a half-step back from her and her piercing purple eyes. “I’m fine – I think – the portal from the human world took a lot out of me…” I wasn’t sure how to explain the context for what we’d witnessed, nor was I ready to think about it.

“Okay!” she let go of my hands and spun back around, floating back into the kitchen, “I’m making food, but if you need more magic too, I can help with that.”

I blushed, trying to drive away thoughts of the implications I wanted there to be in that statement. My feet carried me forward, stopping when I fell into indecision about where to sit. “I’m Katie, by the way. Sorry if this is rude, but what are you? I’ve only met succubi and one devil before and I wasn’t raised here, so…” I hated how much of an ignorant tourist I felt like in the place I was supposed to belong. Humans didn’t really care about any demons other than succubi – even incubi were an afterthought to them – you were either a succubi, or just a ‘demon’.

Amaranth flipped and stirred the vegetables on the skillet above the magical flame. “No, that's not a super rude question – most people will be able to tell what you are without you telling. I’m a dryad!” She spun around, tilting her head to show me the dense cluster of flowers on one side. 

I finally moved again, closing the rest of the distance between us. As I grew nearer, I noticed the subtle differences in her flowers’ colours – the slight changes in brightness and tiny dots of purple on some petals. “Your flowers are really pretty,” I said, reaching out as if to touch her flowers, but thinking better of it at the last second, “Can I touch them, Amy?” 

Her pale green cheeks flushed darker. “Amy?” Her tone was surprised, but not offended, nor did she pull away.

“Yea, a nickname. You brought me home to your bed, I think we’re close enough for nicknames.” I smirked, enjoying every bit of her reactions, the little twitches of embarrassment, the exaggerated pout at my assertion, and most of all, the way she stepped slightly closer.

“Well then I’m calling you Kat,” she declared victoriously.

I swiftly countered, “Meow,” moving my hand in a mock-clawing motion. 

Giggles escaped me when she finally backed off, her blush deepening.

I think I already love it here…

—

Of course, I couldn’t flirt with my new plant-y friend forever, and eventually I had to leave, after several reassurances I was okay, and writing down her contact information for when I finally got the Hell version of a phone.

Then, after getting lost a few times, I was finally at Kelith’s apartment, my original destination. She was happy to see me, inviting me in and asking if I was hungry. We hadn’t agreed on a specific time to meet, given the uncertainties that came with traveling across worlds, so there was no reason for her to ask about where I’d been.

Nonetheless, after a few minutes of small talk, she asked, “So what’s wrong?”

I blinked, running my hand over the folded blanket beside me on the couch. “Well…” I took a deep breath, having trouble deciding where to start, “When I went back to Earth and talked with my sister, I found out that the woman that adopted us was Lily’s aunt.”

“Oh.” Kelith’s eyebrows shot up, “I never met her – I try to stay away from the inlaws – but from what I know she’s…” She hesitated, seeing my grimace.

“Yea, she had some issues, but that’s not the important part,” I shook my head, “Apparently she was working on ways to get around her banishment, and when I was traveling into Seriza, I saw her; she was successful.”

Kelith gasped, throwing a hand over her mouth.

“Yea. And the… S-D-L had already found her and…” I shrugged, looking down.

She stood from her chair and crossed the room, sitting back down beside me and wrapping her arms around me. “Shh, it’s okay,” she whispered.

I shook my head, rubbing my face against the soft fabric of her sweater, confused why she was comforting me. I’m fine, what…

And then I realized I was crying and the floodgates opened. I clutched the end of her top, burying my face into it and trying to stifle my sobs. 

I hate scarlet, I haven’t believed her crap in years, I’ve seen first-hand all of the ways she deliberately fucked us over, and still…

I gasped for air, trying to calm my shuddering breaths. After a few deep exhales, I was finally calmed enough to peel myself out of Kelith’s embrace and wipe my face with the back of my wrist. Other than lingering sniffles I was ready to talk. “I need to tell Amber but I don’t think I have the energy to portal back,” I said, thinking of the escalating costs to portals made in quick succession. 

“Let’s worry about you first – I can have Edith and Zamira deliver a letter for you later,” she took a deep breath, “How are you feeling?”

I puffed out a breath of my own, “Um, it’s just been a lot recently – so much has changed and things have worked out, but… it’s overwhelming,” I let out, leaning back into the plush couch and closing my eyes for a moment.

“Is there anything you need?” Kelith asked, voice soft.

“I just want to move on…” I answered, “If you could help me register for school that would be great, but I’m already thankful you’re letting me stay here.”

“Oh hush,” she stood, shaking her head, “Anything for my cute little granddaughters. Now let’s get you some sweets – that'll cheer you up.”

I laughed, following her into the kitchen. “Speaking of sweets, I met the sweetest dryad earlier today…”

Kelith stopped and turned around, narrowing her eyes at me, “I’ve already given this talk to your sister, but…”

I smiled through the embarrassing lecture, happy to finally have found a place for me.