Mad Dog

Chapter 18: I Cant Act In Romantic Scenes

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Jiang Qi’s words were naturally understood by Wang Zhaoqiu—the implication was, “If it’s yours, I won’t be able to act.”

His script “Approaching the Horizon” was filled with a lot of tender and delicate feelings of the male lead, psychological activities that were definitely not purely a mental disorder. For an ‘experiential’ actor like Jiang Qi, he lacked those emotions. Refusing to act in this script was actually the young man’s way of taking responsibility.

In this extremely candid self-analysis, and even revealing some sensational ‘rumors,’ Wang Zhaoqiu found himself unable to say anything. Similarly, Shen Lei couldn’t say anything either.

After a moment of silence where everyone looked at each other, it was Jiang Qi who took the initiative to break the silence.

“Thank you,” the young man nodded slightly at Wang Zhaoqiu. “I’ll go first.”

After saying that, he turned to leave.

“Wait!”

Wang Zhaoqiu instinctively stopped him, and then, under Jiang Qi’s surprised and indifferent gaze, he didn’t know what to say.

After a while, he figured out how to speak and tentatively asked, “So, will you only play these specific types of roles for the rest of your life? Only the ones you can handle?”

Jiang Qi didn’t repeat the words of ‘quitting the entertainment industry and not acting anymore.’ Instead, he thought silently for a moment and answered truthfully, “At least for now, I can’t act in romantic scenes with girls.”

“Can’t you give it a try?” Wang Zhaoqiu instinctively pursued, “Actually, trying it might be simpler than you imagine.”

After all, romantic scenes were easier than those extremely complicated and extreme psychological scenes. As long as you truly ‘get into the role.’

Jiang Qi shook his head without hesitation.

Wang Zhaoqiu became frustrated again and asked in a deep voice, “You refuse so quickly without even thinking about it?”

Actually, he really wanted to say the words ‘Do you know what you’re rejecting?’ But upon careful consideration, he felt that this statement might be a bit too much like a ‘domineering CEO’ for an old man like him.

After some consideration, Wang Zhaoqiu restrained himself.

“No need to think. I just can’t play romantic scenes,” Jiang Qi stubbornly said, “I have someone I like.”

He couldn’t express those unspeakable feelings in front of Zhi Qi, so how could he be ‘affectionate’ towards other girls? That was simply impossible. So from the beginning, Jiang Qi would not agree to things he couldn’t do.

Wang Zhaoqiu stared at him, his Adam’s apple rolling. After enduring and holding back, he suddenly asked—

“What about those specific roles… like, a person with gender identity issues? Can you play that?”

Shen Lei was stunned at the words.

And Jiang Qi looked at Wang Zhaoqiu in confusion and asked slowly, his voice deep, “What do you mean?”

“This is Qiu Heng’s business card.” Wang Zhaoqiu snorted, coldly taking out a business card and ‘throwing’ it to Shen Lei. The words he said seemed somewhat unwilling, “Old Qiu is currently selecting roles for his new film. Let this kid give it a try. As for whether he can do it… hmm, who knows.”

This was probably the director’s ‘cherishing talent’ sentiment. Even though Wang Zhaoqiu regretted that Jiang Qi couldn’t act in his play, he unconsciously didn’t think about introducing him to other projects.

And the ‘Qiu Heng’ mentioned by Wang Zhaoqiu was the best director at last year’s Man Kai Film Festival, a genius who achieved remarkable success in the extremely niche field. He was also one of the ‘network resources’ in Wang Zhaoqiu’s hands.

In the entertainment industry, it’s like a network; knowing one person leads to connections with many others. Shen Lei could only be considered an entry ticket. He could provide networking resources for Jiang Qi and maintain a reciprocal relationship with the big directors after discovering this ‘treasure.’

After Wang Zhaoqiu left, Shen Lei forcefully ‘pressed’ Jiang Qi to sit at the table and read the script.

“Anyway, you have to take a look. Wang Director definitely wants to push you for an audition with Qiu Heng.” Although Wang Zhaoqiu called Qiu Heng ‘Old Qiu,’ in reality, Qiu Heng was only a middle-aged man around forty and far from having the same prestige as Wang Zhaoqiu in the industry. Therefore, Shen Lei didn’t call him ‘Director Qiu.’

But that didn’t mean Qiu Heng’s scripts weren’t valuable.

On the contrary, Qiu Heng has been highly praised in recent years as a rising star. Landing a lead role in his film is just as prestigious as playing the lead in Shen Lei’s production. That’s why the latter insisted on having Jiang Qi take a look at the script, even if it meant holding him back.

However, despite Jiang Qi sitting down, his mind was in chaos, and he felt genuinely anxious. He often glanced at the phone on the table beside him. The script in front of him, written in Chinese characters, seemed like an unintelligible ancient text; he couldn’t focus on a single word.

Shen Lei noticed his fidgeting and furrowed his eyebrows, thoughtfully asking, “Are you worried because of the hot search? Forget about all that. Just focus on securing the lead role with Qiu Heng; the tide will naturally turn.”

“…” Jiang Qi looked at him blankly. “What hot search?”

“Huh? You don’t know?” Shen Lei was somewhat bewildered.

Because right after the fan meeting, under the media’s criticism, the hashtag #Jiang Qi Invades Your Mother# had quickly climbed the trending charts, and predictably, it was accompanied by the word #(explode)# .

Jiang Qi didn’t even bother to ask what the hot search was about; he stared at his phone, feeling regretful for not getting Zhi Qi’s contact information earlier. But perhaps they could use Weibo to communicate? Thinking about it, Jiang Qi opened the private message conversation with Zhi Qi on Weibo and tentatively sent her a message.

“…” Shen Lei, who was watching from the side, was dumbfounded, feeling a bit suffocated. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

After sending the message, Jiang Qi put down his phone, picked up the script left by Wang Zhaoqiu, and pretended to read it seriously. However, as he read on, he became genuinely engrossed.

***

The script was titled “Jiao Si.”

It tells the story of the protagonist, Chen Si, who has gender identity issues. Though clearly a boy, he faces discrimination due to his feminine stature, slender and delicate physique from childhood compared to other boys.

Other boys dislike him, but girls enjoy playing with Chen Si.

“Dresses, cakes, dolls—these are like a kind of ‘redemption’ in Chen Si’s young mind. He likes dressing up like cute girls, enjoys the fragrance of swirling hair, and even dreams of becoming a girl. This twisted environment and mentality give rise to a ‘gender identity disorder,’ causing Chen Si to think too much in his teens, eventually leading him to firmly believe he is a girl.

Just a girl with something extra below.

So, even as Chen Si grows taller and becomes similar to a normal man, he insists on considering himself a female. Like girls, he controls his weight, maintaining a ‘willow slender’ figure. He speaks softly and gracefully, often mocked as ‘feminine.’

Chen Si pays no mind, even laughing: “What’s wrong with being feminine? I am a girl, after all.”

Gender identity disorder patients persist in believing they are different from others; this is a ‘psychological’ condition. Unfortunately, no one tries to understand Chen Si’s confusing thoughts. His parents even reject him, kicking him out of the house, disowning their ‘son.’

Chen Si does makeup, wears dresses, and even has boyfriends, doing everything a girl can do, regardless of numerous insults calling him insane, perverted, abomination of being a man…

So, Chen Si makes a decision. With his dangerously thin body, he becomes an unconventional model and uses the savings to undergo gender reassignment surgery in Thailand.

In the end, Chen Si dies on the operating table.

*

This is an extremely radical and challenging story that even challenges ‘broadcast censorship.’ It tells the tragic and extreme life of Chen Si, which, fundamentally, has some similarities to Mu Xi from ‘Gazing at the Sky.’

Both have significant psychological trauma from childhood, but Mu Xi becomes the ‘aggressor,’ while Chen Si falls into a misconception and destroys himself. However, gender identity disorder is just an illness, not a mistake.

After reading the script, Jiang Qi fell silent for a moment, then said in a deep voice: ‘I will audition.’”

Shen Lei couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief after hearing that. Because he knew that Jiang Qi would only agree to audition for a role he was confident he could play. This indicated his determination to portray ‘Chen Si.’ Although the film reached an extreme level, and airing it would undoubtedly cause significant controversy, it was still Qiu Heng’s work.

As long as it’s associated with a renowned director, human nature’s admiration for strength would make all of Jiang Qi’s shortcomings seem insignificant.