Chapter 1209 Luna - Festival Of Torment
They should be learning of my involvement soon. Such a shame we had to wait for so long, dear sister.
Peering down at the crystal casing housing the silver hair beauty, whose eyes seemed to have been closed for longer than an eternity, bitterness swelled through my throat like an unreachable itch.
It's been so long.
"You were such a lonely child, dear sister. The Heavens truly blessed you. And it seems Zariel carried on your talents. Arsene, your invincibility, and Truck-Kun? Gods. I don't know how she came up with such a ridiculous name. But she carries your heart. I fear her the most out of the three you created. She's not as smart as her brothers and is absolutely childish, but should there ever be a time she experiences true despair, she'd be a Ruler in the Hells. An absolute ruler.
"Your two sons. I did what you asked and didn't protect them. Although, I did help Zariel in the Hells. You'd have been proud. I was so scared approaching Father. I know it's a bit silly. He is our Father. But I feared he'd say no. Little Mephisto was too good. And I didn't want to give away our connection. Power destroys. And that young one, despite his mischievous nature, is quite ambitious even if he doesn't realize it.
"Look at me get off topic. Sorry, Yuki. I know you have probably heard this all before. I don't know why I keep telling you all this. But your death broke my heart. Truly. Everything about this broke my heart. I resented the Twins and Crowe for the longest telling us about the future. I truly resented it. You were my first friend. The only one I couldn't see through. The one who was closest to being a Primordial. Never before had there been one like you with such an affinity to the Moon.
"I bet you didn't know. We primordials don't like to share that with people. We carry so many secrets. Especially Mother, she holds the most. Tenebrae… is very much like Arsene. Her levels of cruelty rival even the Great Devils at times. I still can't believe they got together. Shit doesn't make sense to me. But who am I to judge… I fell for you. You who lived in a different realm. One sealed away by the three Great Elements. But… Your death, and the abuse you faced, all for the sake of your children, hurts me. It hurts even to this day."
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"Sister… I loathed free will. I can't blame the sins. I can't blame the darkness of men. No, I blame the choices given to them. The freedom they share to do as they please. It was free will that took you from me. Stole you away and made you a slave to time and faith. But… those three. I've only seen you smile like that toward me. I should have stopped you. I should have said no, to Ves and taken sides with Crowe and Izalith. But… I know it was what you wanted. I know it was what you deeply wanted.
"The day Arsene was born… the day I held him in my arms for the first time, covered in your blood. I understood. And it burned. Gods, did it burn to understand the sacrifice you made. There was no other like you. Setting my eyes on that boy for the first time, I thought of him as my son. He was ours… Then Zariel came, then Truck-Kun. They all came… I…I… Sister, I miss you. Fuck I miss you. Damn it, why did you have to die. Why did you have to leave me? We had a family. Three beautiful children. We…."
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"We had it all… And just like that… Azazel came to reap your soul. But a soul born of Arcadia cannot exist in the Myriad. You were gone… A death in the truest sense. Stolen from me. I cried every day for you. Cried till my heart burned, till blood leaked from my eyes, till my throat became clouted by blood. I wanted to follow you. Even going so far as to plunge a dagger through my heart in an attempt to destroy this Avatar. I wanted to return to nothingness: To lose my identity. To become the Moon once more. I didn't want to get involved… I wanted to abandon everything.
"I couldn't look after our child. I just couldn't. But I did. I gave them help whenever I could. I became Zariels guiding light. I even granted Arsene the Authority of Reincarnation to keep him somewhat whole during his reincarnation. I had my people take your daughter away from war, giving her peace to help cultivate her strong heart. She's now immortal. Somehow creating her own technique that imbues the Authority of Rebirth, and she's getting stronger.
"I've protected them all. I've granted them all the weapons they need, all the training. I created three monsters for you. And while I'm not proud of some of the actions they took… it was their choice.
"Yuki… I miss you. I hate living in this world. I hate witnessing the joys I can't have anymore. The things that have brought me joy have all but faded. Withered by your absence. I've begged Father many times, angering him plenty, but he refuses. He said this was your choice, and you'd not have it any other way. But I kept at it till I was banished.
"It's funny, isn't it? Everyone is happy. Zariel has Aurelia, his only anchor, and Arsene has Lilith and Mother. Mythra has Azazal and a beautiful daughter. But… what do I have? What do… what do I have, Yuki? I have only a void.
"A void that only grows with time. I live in my own hell loop. Witnessing your death, the taste of your last kiss, and tears. Dream of it each day… I poison myself each day merely to return to those days: To experience it all again. But then I awake, and the pain only returns.
Wiping away the blood streaming down my cheeks and down onto your coffin, I looked up through the hollow ceiling at the Moon, shrowding our tomb with light.
"Our children will be coming soon, Yuki. You'll be able to see them one last time, for we shall return to nothingness soon: This will be our final goodbye to them."