Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

703. Realm of Light

Gustus’ relentless strive saw him drawn near once again. Deiman propelled himself backwards to buy some time, utilizing Autumn’s copied magic.

“[Repellent Wind], [Windball].” Simple magic was cast from Deiman’s left hand as his staff followed him like a second limb. Powerful variants of the magic emerged from the staff, and yet Gustus continued to hack them down without effort.

“[Blessing of the Great Ones], [Body Hardening], [Body Enhancing Movement – Brisk Feet], [Continued Shielding], [Mana Vitality Conversion – Maximum], [Feather Steps], [Higher Elemental Resistance].”

Gustus applied an array of [Body Enhancing] magic onto himself. [Body Enhancing] magic fell under the Martial Arts category of magic which rarely required a chant to apply. It was magic that could only be taught, and it was merely the manipulation of internal mana as opposed to conjuring the likes of fireballs into reality.

Additionally, such spells could be easily applied to weapons and armor to further enhance the user.

These, however, did not compare to artefacts and items created by Kingdoms who possessed a Gift.

“Does it matter whose suffering is worse when you are all trapped within the same shell?”

 

“Do you remember what they did to you?”

 

“Do you remember the ones who helped you?”

The broken particles accumulated into his right wrist, forming a second halo of light. The more Deiman listened to the other voice, the more he realized that the road ahead would not be as easy as Elysia claimed.

It would require effort on his part.

Gradually, the darkness that smothered parted like the clouds after a storm.

“Resolve can be broken easily. Beliefs can be brought to ruin. The Self that exists is constantly threatened by the shadow within and the world beyond the Persona.”

“You have no ‘Ego’ right now. Your sense of Self wanes. You are barely a Persona.”

“I will make it so that a ‘You’ can exist within your shell.”

“You can be whatever you wish. The pain can be eased. That way, you will never question the ambiguities of reality again.”

“You can be better.”

“I can make you better.”

“Deiman.”

 

“Deiman.”

Time slowed down till he was left with only his thoughts and the voices. The tip of Gustus’ hulking blade was only a meter away from reaching his face. Deiman hallucinated figures in the corner of his eyes as he felt the wing of light grow to the same size as the other.

Finally, two hands reached out before him.

One belonging to Elysia, and the other…

… of someone he felt like he knew.

“Why do birds fly?”

 

“Why do birds fly?”

“I don’t know…” Deiman truthfully said, peering down at Autumn’s tearful eyes.

“Birds fly because it is the shape of their soul. Whether they have wings or not is irrelevant. They will find a way. They will aspire.”

 

“I will make it so.”

“A bird will fly not because it has wings, but because it wants to go somewhere far away from here. So, it must grow wings. And if it can’t, then it can pretend to grow them. It can create wings of its own if it tries. It will struggle. It may fail. But it will try migrating where it wants to regardless of what it lacks. That is why birds fly.”

“I can show you how.”

“… One will let me choose who I want to become. The other tells me to reinforce what I want.”

Deiman imagined rowing boat in a desolate sea. Rogue waves threatened to engulf him. It would be easier to give in and become a hideous monster to swim within the sea of misery. The sea would be his new home.

But a bird would have to brave the ocean before it could find a place of its own. Torrential rain falling like bullets against its fragile wings.

Battered and weary, the bird continued to fly.

A Deiman on the rickey boat could do the same, but it would be easier to have wings of his own. Water sept into the raft. No amount of struggle could save him.

Therefore, how one arrived at the destination depended on what kind of wings they received.

This was how he interpreted their gnostic knowledge.

The same bird, glowing white like a star, soared down and landed on the front of his sinking boat.

“Where do you want to go from here?”

“… I… want to be able to understand this world and myself. I want to understand morality, but people are forced to choose one over the other. Autumn would never have gotten hurt if it weren’t for me. Mae… sounded like she didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore. How can you choose between both? How are you supposed to balance right and wrong?”

“Do you think there is a right and wrong answer?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“I can make it simpler.”

 

“Since my gift to you is not meant to be a one-way ticket to heaven.”

“Just because the bird gains its wings does not mean it can weather the storm.”

 

“It will struggle. It will wish it hadn’t begun the journey. It will despair.”

 

“But it will endure.”

The white dove instilled hope in Deiman.

“The reason why it was able to begin weathering the storm is because it has something that enables it to do so.”

“My gift to you, Deiman, will be in a shape that will best reinforce your renewed Ego.”

“Tell me what it is.”

“… All I can remember is blood. Experiments. Becoming a Shell. That part of me haunts me, and I’m afraid of uncovering it further. But… the latter half of me does not want to be held back. I… want to be brighter, so that I won’t have to see anymore shadows of doubt or questionable ambiguities!”

Deiman shouted in the midst of the crashing waves, hurling as much water as he could to stay afloat.

His tears were hidden by the downpour.

“I want it to be clear! Definitive! Autumn came to me despite knowing it was wrong. Frost came to save us as well! If I could feel this way back then… then I would have… AAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Each scoop of water became larger.

“In order to overcome this adversary! To save Autumn and Mae!”

His emotions heightened significantly. By now he didn’t realize the words that were leaving his lips. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this way. He clawed at the water like a rabid animal, clearing the boat as much as he could.

“To continue experiencing new things!”

Eventually, the boat was emptied.

“Not as a Shell, but as Deiman! As me! I want to know where I stand in this world, even if I have to be torn into two separate halves to carry on!”

A rouge wave loomed over their boat.

There was nothing they could do to avoid being swallowed.

However…

“Then I shall make it as you wish.”

A flash of light engulfed Deiman.

The shadows of his other left half disappeared as he manifested a form that would best reinforce his Ego. Both wings crystalized like giant thorns, and the mask he wore was pure white. It matched the color of his two-piece suit, which had golden embroidery depicting feathers.

“Wear it like a mask.”

 

“It will defend you from the world.”

 

“It will suppress your Shadow.”

 

“And it will protect your ‘Self’.”

The staff in his possession turned pale. Its halo glowed with a brilliant gold. The broken bracelet of gold in his right hand was fully formed, and he could feel unbelievable power tingling at his fingertips.

“What –!?”

It all happened in a split second before Gustus’ eyes.

A flash of white and golden light blinded him, and before he knew it, the staff impaled his chest like a giant ballista bolt.

“… How… What is… that magic…?”

His body was thrown to the other side of the river and was left to hang as he futilely struggled to free himself.

“That… Cannot be! From where did you get that!? Were you blessed by the divine too!? By another deity!?”

//////// < ALERT > ////////

 

< You have received the Blessing of the Cradle >

 

< You have fully manifested your Corrupted Persona >

 

< Chiaroscuro has been added to your Corrupted Persona Collection >

Deiman didn’t know what this meant, nor what the appearance of the blue prompt was. He ignored it, focusing solely on the enemy before him.

“I spoke… to… Abraxas?” Deiman did not know himself.

The name Abraxas came from a conceptual deity taught to him by Thelma. It represented the duality of light and darkness, good and evil, and was revered by the members of the Golden Dawn. Symbols depicting it constituted many of their magical circles, particularly those that manipulated or invoked light.

Deiman held out his hand, and his staff immediately returned to his side like a magnet.

Gustus wheezed as he fell to his knees, his blood smearing against the cave wall. He clasped at his chest, clinging onto what little life he had left as Deiman prepared to finish him off with one last hurl.

“Ha… Ahaha… Ahahahaha!”

The man, perhaps maddened by his loss, chuckled maniacally.

The staff impaled him again, clearly rupturing his heart.

And yet Gustus continued to laugh.

“… It’s true. I’ve become… immortal like them…! The Ones Who Wear Skulls! It’s futile now! No matter how strong you’ve become… You cannot kill an immortal!”

“Tch –! Deiman…!” Mae’s voice cried out as Deiman only just realized that they were not alone.

A lone skull-faced entity held Mae hostage upstream. He was so focused on Gustus that he hadn’t realized that he had left Mae undefended. Everything went wrong again just when he had gained the upper hand.

“I’m sorry…” Mae grunted. “An Ankou… won’t be easy to kill…”

She was completely drained of mana.

The suited figure stared at Deiman with vacant eyes as it held a finger against Mae’s throat.

“There was no Seed.” The entity spoke though it had no lips. “But you have clearly manifested a form as if you have consumed one. Impossible. I thought the Seeds were the only things that enabled it.”

Deiman threatened to launch his staff at it, but hesitated as the finger around Mae’s throat drew blood.

“Speak or your precious companion loses their head! What did you consume!? A Seed!? An Apple!? How can it be possible that you gained a form closest to a Corrupted!?”

Mae would be killed if he didn’t answer.

His hesitation was the difference between him and others. Mae should have been easy to throw away. But he could not bring himself to abandon her. As quickly as he had gained wings, he was immediately met with a storm that seemed impossible to traverse.

But before he could speak, Gustus had something else in mind.

“Regretfully, it seems like you’ve been chosen by another deity.” Gustus struggled to return to his feet. “Incredible how they knew to keep you alive! Answer him, Demi-Human! A God of the dead has chosen you to speak before it! Rejoice while you still can…”

Gustus plucked a golden seed from a pouch by his waist.

“… I will be further exalted! Was that not what you wanted, One Who Wears the Skull Mask!? This was predicted too! This Seed… must have been a test for me. I see it now. That transformation – it was all because of a Seed.”

He gulped down the Seed before the Ankou could protest.

“YOU FOOL!”

“Now… I will be empowered by the divine just like you! This was what the Gods wanted! To test the strength between a human and a Demi-Human blessed by their might!”

The screech that came from Gustus was no longer that of a human. A column of light enraptured him as he thrust out his arms, his body morphing. Pieces of his armor scattered before his feet as his hands fell to the ground.

“Witness me! The great vessel of the divine that I am becoming!

//////// < WARNING > ////////

 

< The Leader of the August Manus Had Undergone an Incomplete Corruption Event >

Another prompt appeared before Deiman again.

Gustus’ hands turned into claws as his feet elongated into the hind legs of a wild beast. Grey and red fur replaced the armor he shredded as his pupils became slit, and the thorns of a porcupine appeared on his back.

“Humanity… Will not be robbed… by impurities!”

A hulking three-meter large werewolf roared wickedly, acrid saliva burning stone as he stood on all fours.

< The Leader of the August Manus Has Become an Impuritas >

 

//////// < WARNING > ////////

< MONSOON >

< THE ARBITER’S TRUMPET INSPIRES >

“Face me, Deiman! This is what they wanted! This is the proof they need to see who will serve the Gods!”

He snarled and bit into the handle of his great blade, wielding it with only his mouth. There was no semblance of humanity remaining in him. He was reduced to nothing but a beast seeking the acknowledgement of his master.

That was the shape of his soul, Deiman presumed.