Reject Humanity, Return to Monke

"Are the elves we saw real?" The mytuber didn't hesitate to ask the question, an excited gleam appearing in his eyes. A raised an eyebrow as my response. "Meme material collected."

Even in the face of possible death, the Mytuber was all about securing good content and memes. A man I can respect.

"Yes, the elves in my Dungeon are indeed real, although I doubt they'll let you go anywhere near them." I shrugged, but the mytuber was otherwise unperturbed. Instead, he was giddy as a motherfucking junkie on a high like no other.

We entered my Dungeon through the portal, and a quick shift in locations later, we were inside the familiar, damp cavern.

"Woah…" The mytuber stared in wonder as he entered the cave entrance. "That feels so… weird…"

The three of us in front ignored the man as we traversed the dim cavern. I noticed with my senses that the mytuber hastily followed us, intent on not being left behind inside the dark, scary cavern.

"So, what's your name?" Drake was the first person to speak up during the silence.

"MyTuber name or real name?"

"Either of the two." Drake shrugged, not really caring about the name the mytuber could give him.

"HelloWorld. That's my MyTuber name." Drake stared at the man with narrowed eyes, the man fidgeting at the deadpan stare.

"… So unoriginal." Drake scoffed before turning around, dismissing the man with rolling eyes. An imaginary arrow pierced the mytuber's heart as the insult hit him directly in the feels.

Catalina was shocked at the name, a little bit disappointed at the naming scheme of the man, while I was just laughing my guts off.

'Welp, there goes his dignity.' As a frequent viewer of MyTube videos, I can predict what will happen if situations like these arise. There are various options, but the one I'm waiting for the most is the meme value.

Like, come on, Drake just said that in the flattest, most deadpan voice and face I've ever seen, and it was recorded in 4k!

The mytuber? I don't care. He'll survive, but he'll be teased by his fanbase for a while before it settles down.

'I wonder if the sandwich guy is watching this? Be toxic, and get turned into a meme. Classic FPS moment.'

"We shouldn't be that far now." As the seconds went by, the mytuber behind us began to become even more excited and anxious. Once the light at the end of the tunnel appeared, the mytuber looked as if he wanted to bolt right then and there. "Uh, one more thing. Do not show any kind of hostile intent, or even separate from us three; otherwise, you might get mistaken as an invader by my residents."

The man nodded, paling a bit due to the underlying threat.

Once we stepped out into the forest, the man gulped as he saw a battalion of primates all decked out in iron. The man shrunk and I felt like cackling like a madman.

"Greet the welcome committee, HelloWorld." I gestured towards the primates, and they all thumped their weapons on the ground. "Don't worry, they won't bite."

The man yelped and quickly hid behind me as he felt something brush against his rear. Looking back, he saw a goblin, female, might I add, looking like she was blushing.

"Nice rear." The goblin said, which caused the mytuber to turn purple. Unlike some of the goblins portrayed in the media, here the goblins look goddamned atrocious, save for some special kinds that look like humans but have green skin.

This goblin female was the former, and she looked like an 80-year-old witch with short stature. Not to mention her sagging breasts, held up with only a piece of cloth.

Snickering at the man's misfortune, I regarded the primates in front of me with a stern glare.

"Okay, who let her near the entrance?" I pointed at the goblin, and all the primates pointed at one person. Said person was Drake, who was laughing up a storm. "Drake, you goddamn troll."

"What? Quality content, baby!" Drake cackled as he looked directly into the camera. "Hello, chat."

This freaked the mytuber out. Feeling that one of our secrets was about to go up in flames and be revealed to the rest of the people on live camera, I sighed and decided to come out clean.

"This man here was once a resident of Earth." The mytuber quickly snapped his camera in my direction. "I suppose it was a few months ago, maybe years, but we don't know how time flows in different worlds, now do we?"

"Anyway, this man, Drake Espinosa, was a student at Massaware University who was killed by a truck ramming him after being shoved by two robbers running from an ongoing robbery. Sounds familiar?" The mytuber had his eyes wide upon hearing the information. "Yes, all those memes about Truck-sama are real, but there is only a 0.0000000001% chance of it happening to a person."

I was sure I made the suicide rate in a bunch of countries spike, but those who would intentionally do that are idiots. At least the normal ones. Those with mental instability will need help, so they won't try Truck-sama's route to reincarnation.

"I am also a reincarnate." I gestured to myself, and the man looked at me with a stupefied expression. "Yes, I became a gorilla. I think there was news about a school killing, one where a student stabbed one student to death in the school courtyard in this very city?"

The man nodded with a pale face.

"Yes, that was me. By the way, you know who you are." I glared at the camera. I was intentionally scaring the little shit who killed me, but otherwise, I won't be doing anything to the lad.

At least he got me away from that oppressive family, right?

"Anyway, let's not stay here for too long. I assume you want to record some of the fantastical sights inside my Dungeon, no?" The mytuber, glad to get away from the topic of reincarnations and death, no matter how curious the topic was, nodded his head frantically. "Alright, you all, go back to your posts."

I gestured towards the primates and they gave me a Monke salute. Giving us a path, Drake, Catalina, the mytuber, and I walked through the passage.

Once we were a good distance from the entrance, the mytuber suddenly asked me a question.

"What is it like in the other world?" I tilted my head slightly, before shaking my head.

"It's shit. I get why a lot of people would want to get isekai'd to another world, but take this into account." I lifted my hand and raised a finger. "One, you are in a foreign world and have no idea what to do. Two, gods exist, and they sometimes mess with mortal lives. A prime example is Drake here."

I gestured towards Drake, and he flinched, a dark shadow falling over his face.

"Three, there are a lot of strong people there, so unless you get a cheat on the first day, you will be fucked, either literally or figuratively. Four: There are various intelligent species living in the world. You think racism here is bad? Just wait until you get over there and are born with a tail in a human supremacist government. And lastly, five: monsters. If you have a bad day and encounter one of them, hope they don't think you're a snack, or get ready to make a home inside a monster's belly."

After I finished my impromptu speech, the mytuber looked as pale as a ghost. Smirking at his expression, Catalina slapped the man with her tail, a smug grin plastered on her face.

"Oi, wake up. This ain't the other world." Catalina stretched before lunging at me like a playful cat. "Anyway, Jion, why don't you show Domino to these people?"

"… Show Domino? No, why the fuck would I?" I looked at Catalina like she was a mentally deranged person instead of my girlfriend.

"It might just show that you aren't a brute, like most humans think." She whispered in my ears, and truth be told, I was considering her words. If it worked, relationships could bloom faster, and my improvised plan to get more residents inside my Dungeon. If not, then Domino can remain out of sight from the outside world for a while.

"Fine." After considering the pros and cons, I agreed with Catalina, who glomped my head with her chest. "Now get off of me, you horny cat."

"Aww…" Catalina pouted as her ears flattened against her head.

Meanwhile, the mytuber recorded our exchange with curious eyes and a very bad premonition in his chat that could spell the end of his career.

Opening my smartphone and checking his channel, I smirked as I saw his chat go wild with furry comments.

At least I'm giving him some good publicity.

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~ Third Person POV ~

"I need a drink…" Mason rubbed his temples as his TV continued to show the live feed coming from the mytuber currently inside his Dungeon. Beside him, the general of the US army, his long-time friend, sighed tiredly.

"So, what should we do with these… Unforeseen circumstances?"

"As of now? Nothing. Unless we're ready to lose men, we stay away from his Dungeon and lockdown the area."

"What about diplomatic relations?"

"That could work, but I'm still skeptical about his motives." Mason looked back at the TV as it showed the catwoman latching herself onto the gorilla. "But I'm leaning towards diplomacy. Did you hear what he said? Anything he can think of is at his fingertips, and all he needs is currency. Currency he can generate by having people inside his Dungeon."

"I can see why you would want to have him as an ally, but are you sure that he won't backstab us the moment he gets what he wants?"

"I'm not sure, but I'll just have to take the risk."