Chapter 183: Chapter 34. Awakening from Illusion
«I want the big brother I've always known back…!»
These words echoed in Philip's head.
For weeks now, the former crown prince had wandered aimlessly in circles — not knowing what to do or how to go on living. Everything suddenly didn't make sense anymore.
What he was striving for turned out to be a lie. And the ways to retreat were cut off. What was the point of continuing this mortal existence now? But even in death the boy did not have the courage. A truly miserable end for someone like him.
After Philip had fallen from the cliff, luck was on his side and he was saved by a forester who lived nearby. It was he who healed his wounds. But now the prince wondered: was it really worth saving his life? Whether he lived or died, what difference did it make?
Even his younger brother, who had been the last to stay by his side, would hardly look at him now. After all, Philip had almost killed him… The crown prince himself did not know what came over him then. Meanwhile, Razor's words were still on his mind…
The old elder brother… What had he been like before? Philip didn't remember it himself. Snippets of the distant past were like a dream. What the crown prince was before and what he was now — two different people. But which was the real one?
Philippe Blanche was confused with himself. He didn't know what to do. Falling off a cliff and being on the verge of death seemed to have knocked the ideas he had had before out of him. Now the boy was left completely empty.
After being rescued by the forester, the prince returned to the capital. He made up his mind not to run away again. If they wanted to capture him, so be it. Philip simply didn't care anymore.
Seeing the boy's sad appearance — out of pity, the kind forester gave him some money. Now the prince didn't know what to spend it on. Maybe on booze again?
Philip sighed as he wandered down the city street. At one point, as he passed a familiar alleyway, a thought occurred to him. Maybe he should pay Serge a visit. They hadn't seen each other in a long time.
Even if her family wouldn't want to take him in, he still wanted to see how she was doing at least out of the corner of his eye. He even felt a little guilt for what had happened.
Even though a long time had passed, Philip still remembered the road well. Soon he reached the wooden cottage — where a family of commoners had once sheltered him. Old memories came flooding back involuntarily.
The lad knocked on the main door and waited. In less than five minutes the door swung open and the master of the house appeared on the threshold. When Uncle Serge saw Philip, his face twisted with anger.
— YOU?!
— Hello…
— Puppy…! How dare you come here?!
In the next moment, without further ado, the man grabbed him by the collar and slapped him across the face. Philip was taken aback.
— What are you doing?! — The crown prince was indignant.
— Ha-ah… You still dare to say something to me? A bastard like you doesn't deserve to live…!
Philip didn't understand what was going on. Meanwhile, the man was about to hit him again.
— My poor girl… I'll make you pay for her today!
Mr. Ridley's eyes flashed with rage. He raised his fist and was not going to stop. The prince couldn't understand why he was suddenly so hated. What had he done? But before the boy could ask that, a quiet female voice came from the next room:
— Uncle — Let him in.
Mr. Ridley was dumbfounded.
— No! I won't let that bastard hurt you again!
— Uncle… Please…
The girl's voice sounded very weak. In the end, despite all his anger, the man had to give in. His niece's condition was not good enough as it was. The man was afraid of making it even worse.
— What a…!
Mr. Ridley spat with indignation, but stepped aside nonetheless. Still unaware of what was happening, Philip stepped inside. A bad feeling overcame him. And he soon realized that he was right.
In the room Serge was lying on the bed and looked very weak. From her large belly and contractions the prince knew what was going on. Alone, the girl had to go through a difficult labor.
For a moment, Philippe Blanche was speechless. He in no way expected to catch it.
When Serge saw him, she smiled.
— Your Highness, you have come at last…
Philip was dumbfounded.
— Th-This is…
— It's our little boy. I've waited so long for him to arrive.
The crown prince couldn't believe his ears. A baby?! How is that possible?
Seeing the shock in the boy's eyes, Serge reminded him:
— That night… Do you remember it?
Philippe hesitated. Of course he remembered. The prince had gotten very drunk then and accidentally mistook the commoner for Leriana. The next morning he was so angry — he threw her out at once and swore never to see her again.
Meanwhile, he had in no way imagined that it would lead to such consequences.
He tried to come to his senses for a while. Then he slowly let it out:
— Why… Why didn't you tell me?
Serge answered:
— I was afraid you would order me to get rid of him.
Involuntarily Philip grinned bitterly.
— So, in your eyes, I'm that horrible?
— Your Highness…
The crown prince approached the bed as Serge began another contraction and clenched her teeth in pain. What was happening began to get to Philip more and more.
— Why is there no one near you?
Living in the palace, the boy had had to catch the births of women of the royal family several times. At such moments, there were always hordes of servants beside them — and the best healers succeeded each other. So Philip was dumbfounded that Serge was in labor all alone.
The girl said weakly:
— Our family has no money to hire a physician…
— Nonsense!» the prince was indignant, «How can you give birth alone? It is dangerous! There must be at least one midwife!
Philip jumped up, intending to search the whole town to find a healer willing to receive them. Later the lad would figure out how to get the money.
But Serge suddenly held his hand.
— Your Highness, please… Stay with me.
— BUT…!
— It's too late. You won't make it in time anyway.
Philip shuddered.
— Your Highness… This is my last wish.
The crown prince slowly settled down beside the bed and took her hand. Suddenly tears welled up in her eyes. Feelings of despair and guilt overwhelmed him.
— I'm… I'm sorry.
In spite of all the pain, Serg continued to smile.
— Your Highness, I am so glad you are with me now and holding my hand…
— …
— We will meet our baby together. Could I be happier?
Philip suppressed a lump in his throat.
— In fact, I only made one wish. That the child would look like you. I think he'll be very handsome then.
This was the first time the crown prince had been in this situation and he did not know how to find words of encouragement. It was as if he had been pelted with ice water.
— You…» Philip hesitated halfway through the sentence.
— It's all right,» the girl nodded, «I know you've never loved me. I just hope you can take care of him.
The whole time Serge was going through contractions-Philippe continued to hold her hand tightly. In such a situation, being by her side was the only thing he could do. The baby was born a few minutes later.
There was a deafening scream in the room.
The crown prince could not believe his eyes that he had become a father. With trembling hands he picked up the baby and showed it to Serge. She was on her last gasp of blood loss.
— It's a girl,» Philip mumbled.
— Is it? — Serge smiled weakly, «I'm happy. So now I have a daughter.
Serge's last wish came true. The child was born a copy of Philippe Blanche. Her big blue eyes were just like her father's. Blond hair. Even now, you could tell she would grow up to be very beautiful.
— Your Highness, please… Don't tell her her mother is a commoner. She is a descendant of royalty. I would be too ashamed of my origins…
Philip trembled as he held the child in his arms.
— I–I…
— The first time we met, you said my name was ridiculous. So now I'm going to give our daughter a beautiful name.
— …
— Brigitte Blanche. Pretty enough? I want her to be named…
— Yes…» the boy nodded with a gulp, «It's pretty…
Serge smiled.
— Glad to hear it, Your Highness.
It was the last thing Serge said before she closed her eyes. Philip couldn't stand it and sobbed, collapsing to his knees. Suddenly the world around him turned upside down in an instant.
Now, he was no longer the infantile young man who could do what he wanted. Philippe Blanche had become a father. It's an enormous responsibility.
No longer can he think only of himself. The hysteria that descended upon him caused his thoughts to change. It was like an awakening after a long period of non-existence. All previous illusions crumbled into ashes.
Philip was able to see things through different eyes. Including his main obsession.
As it turned out, he had been wrong all along. It wasn't his beloved who had been stolen from him. It had been his own insistence on taking what didn't belong to him. But that's all in the past now.
The last shroud of illusion is gone. Philip Blanche finally woke up.
— Leriana… Now I'm really ready to let you go.