Slow Prison Life

Extra 3 Kyoto Limited Edition

“Finally here. It’s so far away.”

The Prison Guard descended from the bullet train to the railway platform with his luggage.

He had a short vacation, so he decided to visit Kyoto for a couple of days. He didn’t have much money to spend because of how thin his salary was, but he thought he could still have fun acting as a tourist and visiting places he was interested in. Traveling like this is expensive, but he was completely exhausted from that young lady and prince constantly abusing their power. He needed to spread his wings every once in a while.

After the Prison Guard left the ticket gate, taking the passageway leading to the northern end of the rail station, he was left marveling at the massive glass roof and wide atrium as he made his way down the steps.

Once he had made it above ground, he stretched out his tourism guide in front of him.

“Now then, how to get to where I want to go............the station is so big I don’t even know where I need to go to ask.”

Kyoto’s station is large and complicated, so tourists who are visiting for the first time always have a hard time as the Prison Guard was having now while looking at the map of the station listed in his tourism guide.

“Umm, am I on the ground floor right now? ........where is the map for the ground floor? And why are there three underground shopping malls connected together to begin with?”

The epitome of Kyoto’s ancient history.

“I’d like to ask for help at the information desk, but I need help finding the information desk..........”

The Prison Guard worriedly turned his head when a passing maid stopped and pointed to one point on the floor plan.

“Take this passageway here and then hang a right, the teller window is in the same building as the city transportation bureau.”

“Ah, I see. Sorry for the trouble.”

The Prison Guard gave a small bow in thanks, but by the time he looked back up, the maid had already disappeared.

“.........what, that’s strange.........well, it’s fine.”

The Prison Guard searched for the area the nice maid had pointed him towards and got in line. The girl sitting at the ticket window gave him a bright smile when it was finally his turn.

“Please wait one moment. I will prepare a map for you detailing where you want to go and your means of transportation.”

“Ah, I see. Thank you very much.”

The Prison Guard lowered his head in thanks while the attendant prepared his things, but he then noticed something a little strange.

“.........Huh? But I, haven’t told you where I want to go yet.”

“Right, sorry to have made you wait. Here’s your guide map, a mobile phone, and your instructions. Next person please!”

“Ah, sorry sorry.”

Because of how busy things were right now, the Prison Guard hurriedly got out of the way after the teller window receptionist called for the next person..........only now realizing he had just gotten something really strange.

“...........This is........should I know what this is for? Something is wrong here.”

The Prison Guard looked closely at the items he had just gotten.

Guide map..........this will be helpful.

Mobile phone.............why?

Instructions...........nobody else was meeting him here or anything.

As the Prison Guard was still staring at the items in his hands, the phone suddenly got an incoming call. The name ‘Mister X’ was flashing across the LCD screen. He answered the phone,

“Pardon Miss, but shouldn’t you have had the caller ID on the phone read Ms. X or perhaps Mrs. X?”

and immediately addressed the most important problem.

Now then, for those instructions I got.

The Prison Guard hung up the phone, putting it away into his back pocket, and then unfurled the map he had gotten.

“Hmm, right now I’m on the northern end of the station........I wonder if the north and south exit are both no good.”

The Prison Guard tried ignoring the cell phone’s continued ringing and walked up to a nearby bus line, but then the maid who had given him directions from before came running up to him slightly out of breath and holding out a black toy rotary phone on top of a tray.

“Your boss works you too hard.”

“This is also part of my job.”

The Prison Guard finally gave up, pulling out the cell phone from his back pocket, the voice of a young noble daughter came through.

“About time! And to think I put in all this effort to making Mister Prison Guard’s vacation as fun as possible!”

“If you’re trying to support me, then how about starting with making my job not so stressful?”

“On that instruction sheet you were given, I’ve detailed everywhere Mister Prison Guard should head to from here.”

“.........hold on, how did you know about all the places I wanted to go?”

“I guessed after seeing the page of the travel guide you were reading the last time you played hooky from your job by hiding down in the dungeon.”

The Prison Guard had thought his prisoner was too busy to notice.

“Miss..........keeping a watch on you is part of my job though?”

“Eh? Since when?”

The route Rachel had planned out for the Prison Guard really was flawless. The Prison Guard traveled by bus to his first destination in Fushimi¹ and traveled one by one to the various breweries located in the area. However.........

“Fushimi got its name from the ‘fushimizu’, the underground water running underneath all of Kyoto that finally makes its way above ground here..........ah, be sure to taste the well water out in the courtyard. Oh and there’s a unique triangular building in one corner of the area right? This used to be a research facility, but it’s been turned into a museum showcasing replicas of bottles from other companies............”

unfortunately the young lady’s telephone guided tour was really annoying.

“Miss, you’re even more detailed than the guide............have you been here before?”

“I’ve never been there before, but all this is common sense for us heavy drinkers.”

Rachel Ferguson: 17 years old.

Profession: Duke’s daughter.

Hobbies: Sleeping and drinking.

“That’s it! For my souvenir, please buy me a vintage bottle of sake from the corner gift shop! The dark soy sauce prepared in the Meiji style! It’s really tasty!”

The Prison Guard was starting to understand why the imprisoned noble girl was being so strangely nice.

However.

“I’m in the gift shop right now, but I’m a foreigner who has no idea what a vintage bottle looks like.........”

The Prison Guard is a foreigner with no idea about the differences between a vintage bottle and a modern one. But the girl on the phone with him gave an answer without skipping a beat.

“Where are you looking!? Upper shelf by the window, it’s the second bottle to the right!”

“Hey Miss, are you sure you haven’t been here before? And recently?”

The most enjoyable trip to the whiskey distillery would be put off for tomorrow, so the Prison Guard dropped his stuff off at his hotel on Kujo Dori street. According to the instructions Rachel had left him, he apparently still had a special nighttime viewing at a temple.

Honestly the Prison Guard had only visited Kyoto to see this and that about the alcohol they make here, but since he already had a ticket, he thought it would be a waste to not use it.

.............but by the time he arrived, that temple’s gate had been shut tight for quite a while already.

“Umm, I’m here for a nighttime visit..........am I too early?”

The instructions came with a ticket that, other than the note “Special Bonus ♡” scribbled on the back, definitely had the words ‘Nighttime Visit’ printed on the front. And yet the temple was deathly quiet, the gate was barred shut, and it didn’t seem like anything would be opening up here anytime soon.

“I don’t think the Lady would get the time wrong or send me to the wrong place. She’s not His Highness.”

That’s the man you work for you’re talking about there.

Not knowing what else to do, the Prison Guard tried calling out to someone passing by and showing them the ticket. It was an older man in ordinary clothes who looked like he lived around here.

“Pardon. I got this ticket for a night visit, but am I in the wrong place?”

The old man looked the ticket over for a moment before shaking his head, suddenly in a really good mood.

“Yes, this is for somewhere else. Here, let me guide you since I live here.”

“Eh? You’ll take me there? Sorry to bother you.”

“No no, it’s been a while for me, so I wanted to go as well.”

The old man started walking with a large smile spread across his face.

“But really, we have been getting quite a few people like you lately. I’d heard that tourists these days were looking to visit more local favorites.........but for even foreigners to come check out Toji Temple’s deluxe night visit”

“Huh............?”

The Prison Guard followed the old man into a conspicuously tall building you wouldn’t normally think would be a temple.

It was a fun way to let the time pass.

After returning to his hotel room, the Prison Guard remembered the ticket arrangements had all been prepared by Rachel.

“.......that girl, she is really good at using her carrot and stick. How does a daughter of a noble think up this kind of reward?”

Thinking about things that far, the Prison Guard remembered the huge commotion inside the dungeon the other day.

“..........ah. I suppose this is the same girl who gathered up all her friends together for a pity party..........”²

Day 2

The Prison Guard was left quite perplexed after finally making it to the place he was looking forward to visiting the most.

“I see.......I didn’t know I had to make a reservation in advance.”

“I’m sorry. Recently we have had so many tourists visiting that we’ve had to require reservations.”

He had finally gotten to visit the whiskey distillery, but apparently he wasn’t allowed in because he had not made a reservation the previous day. Although he wasn’t aware they were necessary, the fact that he had failed to call ahead and get any information beforehand truly was a regrettable failure.

The Prison Guard disappointingly turned back towards the bus stop, but the receptionist stopped him after she turned over her reservation list.

“Ah, are you perhaps Mister Prison Guard from the kingdom?”

“Eh? What?”

The receptionist smiled and pointed towards a name she had on her list.

“We had somebody call and make you a reservation last week. Please wait for a little bit, and I will guide you to your tour group.”

While waiting for the tour to start, the Prison Guard pulled out the cell phone he had been given and called Rachel.

“Hm? Mr. Prison Guard? Isn’t it about time for you to visit the distillery? Since I have you on the phone, when you’re at the gift shop I’d like..........”

“Wait Miss, you really saved me by making this reservation for me. But there is just one thing I wanted to say..........I, my name isn’t really just Prison Guard.”

“................r-really?”

From the other end of the call, Rachel’s silent shock came through all too clearly.

“Now then, I’ve looked around a lot........this will be my last stop.”

Although Prison Guard had certainly seen quite a bit, nearly half of his stops have involved him acting as a gofer for someone currently locked up in a prison..........but since the Prison Guard had come here without a real plan in the first place, he wouldn’t have been able to see half as much as he had without the planned route he had been given anyway. Rachel had planned out a route that gave him the most efficient use of his time so that he’d have more time to run errands for her. Honestly, the Prison Guard was left a little impressed with that lazy noble girl.

Also, it gave him an excuse to also buy those things he wanted but didn’t necessarily need.

“..........well, I’m sure making such a plan was a good way to kill time for her.”

Getting off the bus and stepping onto main street, the Prison Guard had to call out to a monk who was sweeping the sidewalk in front of a shrine. At this point, he wasn’t surprised in the slightest when the old man gave an answer before the Prison Guard could even ask his question.

The Prison Guard stood to the side of the shrine’s gate and called Rachel once again.

“Yes~ this is Rachel! It’s about time for my mochi!”

“...........Miss, why is your voice so high?”

“I was praying that Mister Prison Guard’s ‘first errand’ would be a success by having a little bit to drink.”

“It’s none of your business. And since when have you needed an excuse to drink?”

The Prison Guard cleared his throat.

“Well, it’s fine...........Miss, you told me to buy you some mochi. But there are two stands here. Which one should I buy from?”

He alternated looks between his left and his right.

“So, one of the stands says ‘head of the house’ up top and the other reads ‘ancestor’........”

“Stop! Don’t say anything else Mister Prison Guard!”

“Why?”

“That topic is off limits. Or do you want to get swallowed by the darkness of the former capitol!?”

“Why is this such a big deal!? Why is buying some candy so much trouble!?”

“You aren’t paying enough attention to their thousand year history and exclusive sales rights!”

“Oi, that second one actually sounds like it could be trouble!”³

“So, which one should I go to then?”

After all if he doesn’t get an answer, he won’t know which one to buy to bring home as a souvenir.

“We~ll. Please buy some mochi from the one that looks more like a teahouse.”

The Prison Guard once again looked at the two shops on his left and right.

“I really can’t tell a difference.”

“It’s the one with a bench outside its door.”

“They both have benches outside their doors.”

“GEEZE!”

Rachel drunkenly shouted out in frustration.

“Look closely!”

“Okay”

“It’s the stand with a bench outside its doors where Haley would be able to sit down and absent-mindedly stare up at the sky!”

“Hey Miss. Couldn’t you just send that monkey here to buy you some?”

“Food tastes different when you get it as a souvenir!”

“I have your souvenirs from Kyoto.”

“Yay! Thank you very much!”

Rachel looked truly ecstatic after getting her souvenirs from the Prison Guard. She lined up her ‘loot’ on top of her desk. Although really, why would a noble daughter be so giddy about a bottle of alcohol?

“Anyway, you had the funds for your souvenirs tucked in with those instructions you gave me. So I don’t know if you could really call these souvenirs......but it was very courteous of you to send in a little extra money so I could buy my own souvenirs.”

This ability to make intricate plans for things that don’t matter in the slightest is something that Prince will never be able to beat.

But no matter how he thought about it, the Prison Guard could not imagine that the young lady’s preparations would have been cheaper than the money he had spent on travel expenses.

But for this girl, all of that is probably the cost for messing with him than anything else. The Prison Guard just couldn’t follow the way a rich person thinks.

Rachel called out to the Prison Guard in a good mood after she heard him sighing by himself.

“So then, how was your trip to Kyoto? Were you able to relax and enjoy yourself.”

“Ah.........for some reason I kept thinking about work while I was over there, so I don’t feel like I really relaxed any.”

“Well!”

Rachel worriedly tilted her head.

“You can’t relax even while on vacation? What part of your job is bothering you so much?”

“Forget it!”

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fushimi-ku,_Kyoto

2. So I’m sure this is meant to be a sex/brothel joke for people who don’t know about Toji Temple which is why the author is so vague here. In reality, the area around the temple has a bunch of beautiful lights set up, and you’re allowed to go into the temple at night to see them from up above. This chapter really is meant to be one of those ‘oh yeah, I know what they’re talking about’ things directed for people who live or have been to Kyoto. Here is a picture though to give you an idea.

Image result for toji temple at night

3. I’m pretty sure this is just a reference to how Kyoto used to be the capitol for a thousand years before changing to Tokyo. The Prison Guard is asking which one is better, the ancestral leader (Kyoto) or the current head of the family (Tokyo). It’s one of those arguments with no real answer like whether Gifs are pronounced with a hard g or a soft g.