The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 326: Deals while Drying Dishes

Whatever Billy and Layla were arguing about became moot as Suzette and Ozzy walked into the kitchen with half of a pecan pie. "Sit and eat, Ozzy, and I can finish drying." The two nobles didn't have to be told twice to abandon the job. Billy looked at the gooey brown pie, took a tentative bite, and then a larger one. "Damn, this looks horrible, but it's pretty good. What's in it?"

Suzette tried to remember the recipe, "Sugar, pecans, eggs, butter, a little flour, molasses, more sugar, a little bourbon. There are enough calories in a couple of slices to keep you going for a day. Consider it a reward for an hour's hard work cleaning up a kitchen."

Billy finished his pie, sat back, and asked the question on his mind. "Pie is good, but what's the deal with the dungeon? Is the scary lady going to let us into the crypts? It doesn't escape me at all that my two little deal-makers were deep in discussion with her."

"Which is about the only reason the two of us kept washing dishes. Shouldn't there be a spell for this?" Layla looked disgustedly at the large pots and pans they still had to do. Ozzy walked over, picked up a pan with layers of baked-on grease, and wiggled his fingers at it. The pan glowed, and a layer of grease fell off into the sink.

The Butcher grinned at her, "You just have to be pure of heart to get the spiffy magic." He cast it again, but the spell sputtered and failed to remove any baked-on layers. "Of course, being good only gets you so far." He picked up a rag and began scrubbing hard, careful not to punch through the pan.

Suzette sat down at the table. "There are some problems that date back a few hundred years, maybe longer. In the past, the people in charge have used Hungry Town as a place to throw the inconvenient people who don't fit in elsewhere: the sick, the old, runaway servants, and minions. She's holding a pretty big grudge. And she has a big dislike for magical colleges. There used to be quite a few in Gadobhra. They would hire people from Hungry Town and come back a few years later, broken and twisted."

Billy nodded. "Shit. And here I just promised to rebuild one of those for our professors."

"And she already knows that. And isn't happy." Ozzy picked up a heavy cast iron skillet and made it his next victim. Cleanse did little to nothing on the baked-on layers, so he used a rock chisel from his bag to clean off the worst of the grime. Then he heated it and re-oiled the metal. It was going to take some time to rejuvenate the pots and pans in this kitchen. They'd seen heavy use for a long time.

"We have an idea that got a little interest and a compromise from her, but it's tricky. We had to find something she wanted, and what she wants is for the people here to have a better life. That isn't going to happen in a ghoul-infested hell, and she refuses to deal with you directly. We came up with a plan for gaining control of the dungeon."

Layla looked at Billy, who nodded. "Let's hear the deal you worked out."

Suzette started laying out the details. "She has a couple of things to offer: Control of the dungeon and a way to get rid of the ghouls outside the crypts. It's tricky; we have to clear the tombstones and crypts, take the stones somewhere and consecrate them, and then she can claim the ground for Hungry Town and keep them from coming back. She can't get rid of the dungeon, but we don't actually want that."

"Damned right. Dungeons are cash cows. Entry fees and a steady flow of gold and magic items that we can skim off the adventurers. If she won't let me claim the dungeon, what about you? You know how these things work."

Ozzy finished the last of the pots and pans and sat down. "Yeah, that was a thought we had. That woman is damned powerful and not something you want to mess with. Scary. But she'll cede control of the dungeon to Suzette. The entry fees stay with you and half of the magic items that Suzette earns. The other half stays in Hungry Town. But we worked out a way to profit from that and draw more people to the dungeon."

Billy was listening but wondering what this deal was going to cost him. "I'm listening."

Ozzy ticked off some of the details. "They need more food in town. We can set up trade with the hamlets where they can buy what they need of grains and vegetables. It will bring in some cash for the farmers. But the deliveries will have to have guards once they hit Gadobhra or ghouls will ambush them. So, I think that weekly caravans of a few wagons will work with some guards until we clear the ghouls out and move the graveyard. Meat is no issue. We just butcher a few extra critters and drop off some barrels now and then, which they pay for as well, but we can give them the 'friends and family' discount."

"I like that. Trade that profits our people, we take the credit and goodwill, but don't have to actually do something." Layla found the day-to-day duties of running the city tiring and was happy to automate it or leave it to others.

"They need wood for repairs and building. I can bring them a couple of wagonloads when needed. We still have a lot of seasoned oak from the war. This brings us to the next point. What do you see when you look at the town?"

Billy answered quickly. "A rotting dilapidated shithole surrounded by ghouls."

Layla echoed the thought. "A creepy village sitting outside a dungeon full of weird people."

Ozzy nodded. "Yep. Now a question for you that will test your gaming knowledge. Every visited Tristram?"

Billy looked confused, and Layla's eyes got big. "Oh, hell! You're right."

"Yep. We help them fix up the place and set up ghoul-related quests in Sedgewick to get people here, and more quests in Hungry Town for dungeon diving or going into the Beast Woods. Players love creepy, mysterious little towns filled with small shops. They can buy basic food here, but we don't set up an inn or tavern because those will be nearby in Gadobhra. As time passes, we can turn 'creepy' into 'rustic.'

That Billy understood. "You want to make it into a tourist trap. A quaint, weird little village full of quests, banjo players, and pecan pie. I like it. It's an attraction that doesn't take profits from the main businesses in Gadobhra." He paused. "I like the deal. I get everything I want and don't have to give up much of anything. But one last question...what's in it for you? Because I'll do dishes for a week if you can prove you two aren't making something on the deal."

Ozzy tried to look innocent, but Suzette just smiled at Billy and Layla. "I'm so glad we understand each other so well. And it's actually the four of us. Ben and Rolly are tossing in some money as well. Our cut is owning part of the new coffeehouse. That's the anchor business that everything will revolve around. The old witch doesn't want to deal with players any more than you do. This will give them a place to eat and grab a cup of brew before hitting the dungeon. We make a small profit, and I oversee the dungeon for a fee she pays me."

Billy and Layla looked at each other, staring deeply into each other's eyes, and Suzette could swear they were talking somehow. Finally, Layla turned and smiled. "We agree. Have Ben write it up, and we'll sign it. He's got ten minutes because we want to be in that dungeon and slicing ghouls apart in fifteen minutes."

World-Wide announcement:

The Evil of Gadobhra grows! Hungry ghouls and Dread Wolves from the Crypts of Gadobhra have broken loose! The undead are no longer content to guard their gold and treasures but seek to drag the innocent down into the depths to add to their numbers. Adventurers are needed to stem the tide of this Tier 2-5 Dungeon of the Undead. And don't forget to stop off at the nearby Brew House in the nearby village of Hungry Town for a fresh cup of coffee and a piece of rhubarb pie. The locals are anxious to hand out quests and mumble strange rumors.

Twelve richly dressed adventurers, along with horses, mules, and a trained Komodo Dragon, were waiting somewhat patiently to teleport from Wolfsburg to Rowan Keep. The Order of Heracles had voted to make an expedition to the city, and the first dozen members to volunteer were wasting no time. As the announcement came in, they surged to the front of the line where a harried mage was trying to keep order. He already had two dozen players show up to head for the dungeons of Gadobhra before this last twelve arrived.

Vandalis smiled at Rastfian. "We'll be going now. Don't worry about the mana. My order will donate 50,000 mana to cover our teleportation cost along with a little extra." He shook hands with Rastfian and slipped a small bag of gold into his hand. The mage bowed. "I am always thankful for your order's generosity. Please, take your places, and we'll send you on your way."

The others gathered around the stone, donating their power. "Good call Vandal; the word is out now. I want to get up there and have some fun."

Corporate Announcement:

Baron William, Head of the Northern Division of ACME, has claimed another dungeon, The Crypts of Gadobhra.

ACME, Northern Division is awarded 2000 Building Points.

Baron William, Head of the Northern Division of ACME, has entered into an agreement with one of the Old Powers. He has graciously agreed to protect the population of Hungry Town from the rest of his city.

ACME, Northern Division is awarded 3000 Building Points.

Mama's Brew House has opened in the City of Gadobhra.

ACME, Northern Division is awarded 1000 Building Points.

The Village of Sedgewick has been awarded 2000 Building Points.

Three women stared into a crystal ball in a small keep hidden on a rocky outcropping in the middle of a dark forest. "These damned things never work! Why didn't we hire couriers like any other corporation?"

"Because we are Alchemarx, and we do things better!"

"Better being defined as a murky crystal with a bad speaker? I swear the board of directors are brain dead."

"Be thankful the microphone sucks, too; this is a two-way connection."

All three went silent as an announcement appeared in the crystal. Shocked yells were heard from the other division heads. One of the women picked up the crystal and tossed it against the wall. "Oops, it malfunctioned. Time to get to work. You know they are going to blame us. We were supposed to hamstring Billy, and somehow he's still scoring points."

"I'll light a fire under PinchPenny; he's been too quiet lately."

"More money down the drain hiring mercenaries to screw up Rowan Keep. I say we quit suffering small defeats. Let's gather a larger force and throw a 'Bandit Attack' at the half-finished fortress. We can always blame it on the miser baron and his horrible starving of his people."

They nodded and agreement before heading to the tower where they kept the carrier pigeons.

Vernon Throckmorton, Head of the ACME Southern Division, spit out the grape he was eating and coughed heavily as he heard of Billy's latest victory.

"And I bet that little bastard won't share any of it. I need to talk to the Board of Directors and straighten this out. We should be working together like a well-oiled team, am I not right?

Good, I'm glad we're all in agreement about this."

Both of his servants nodded and smiled. Neither the saurian fanning him with a large fern nor the one bringing him food spoke a word of the human language.