The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 357: Billy goes bowling.

Baron William of Gadobhra, Northern Region Manager of ACME Online Resources, Protector of Sedgewick, and Hero of the People, sat in a small room of the ACME building that was used by one of the workers to store mops and brooms and a stolen bottle of the Baron's whiskey (which was fine by Billy, it meant he didn't have to go looking for a drink when he wanted one). Since his Baroness was allergic to cleaning and menial labor, he was confident he could go about his work undisturbed and undiscovered. She'd asked several times about his precious treasure, and he was careful never to let her see it again. It sat in front of him on a wobbly wooden table, an inky black sphere that glowed with eldritch light in its swirling depths. He'd bent his will to master the sphere time and again to no avail. He could feel something calling to him, but the damned thing just swirled the glowing lights around in different patterns until he had a huge headache. It was hard as hell to hold! The ball had to be held in the air with his arm directly under it and braced on the table using three fingers and a thumb to keep it in position. It was damned uncomfortable, and if he weren't working out each day on a pell doing sword drills, he wouldn't have had the muscle to hold it up for long. Despite his aching head and a sore arm, he continued stubbornly, especially after seeing visions inside the orb. Split-second events would unfold before him. Useless without context: A baker putting buns in the oven as a thief stabbed him in the back, or a troll instructing a group of goblins on the proper way to roast a dwarf over an open fire. Always something strange. He lost sleep as he began to rise early (again, something his Baroness was allergic to) until one morning, something changed, and he gained a surprising new skill.

Your greed and stubbornness have led you to discover the skill of Eldritch Mastery.

With this skill, based on your CHA stat, you may bind weak enchanted items to you and bargain with the stronger ones. They may take some convincing before they work with you. Be careful; as you have experienced before, strong magical constructions can bind and control you in return.

You have created a bond with the Legendary Enchanted Item: Seer Stone of Gadobhra.

Once, long ago, when the Wheel of Eight held sway over the world, those in power would put aside their petty differences to come together and plan how they could work together to further their aims. (Also to throw petty threats, snarky remarks, and tell dumb jokes) Made from eight petrified eyes of the Black Beast of Caerbannog, these stones will allow a strong-willed noble the ability to converse with the owners of similar Orbs. With the Wheel of Eight broken, the cities lost to time, destroyed, or imprisoned by the Druids, the greatest use of this orb is to watch over the lands you control.

You have earned the spell Levitate Orb

You have earned the spell: Farseeing

"Now we are talking! Let's take this baby for a spin."

The Levitate Orb spell was tricky. It drained a little bit of his mana each minute and took some concentration to maintain, or the heavy sphere dropped to the table. He learned the hard way not to have his hands underneath that spot. Once he had the trick of holding the floating orb steady, he cast the Farseeing spell. His vision bounced from place to place chaotically, never staying in one place...until it stopped, and all he could see were eyes and tentacles. Eyes that looked back at him.

"Welcome, wandering traveler! You have sought M'elvin of N'fargleville, and you have found him. As the current All-Seeing-Sage-of-Many-Eyes, I offer you a free gift of new thoughts to celebrate our friendship!"

Billy dropped both spells and severed the connection, grumbling. "Bullshit, you will! Free gifts always cost too much. I learned that the hard way."

He tried again, this time focusing on looking for something first. "Show me Sedgewick." It was much easier. He had an overhead view of the village and saw people moving below him like ants. With effort, he could bring his viewpoint lower and lower, like zooming in on a satellite image. Moving into buildings was difficult. He could push through a roof and into the building, but going through an open door was easier. The more effort it took, the quicker he burned through his mana.

And some buildings were much tougher to look at. The blacksmith shop glowed with the mana used to enchant war machines and forge metal. It made the image fuzzy. He tried to enter the Tavern, but an image of a dead raven was all he could see. It cawed at him mockingly. He moved on to the Butcher Shop and observed Runt, Ozzy's little assistant chopping up rabbits. Surprisingly, the ex-minion looked up and stared at him. "Great, some asshole found himself a crystal ball. Now I have to get a charm for the place." He went back to chopping meat, ignoring the unseen watcher. Billy wondered if detecting his spying was a butcher's ability and went looking for Ozzy. He never found him, but as he got near the smokehouse, a roaring growl filled his ears, and spectral chains reached for him. The Baron dropped the spells again, the ball slamming down onto the wooden table and leaving another mark.

"Ok, got it. Spying on some people is tricky and dangerous, and spying on cursed hell pits isn't advised. Maybe if I get better at this. One more try and then I'm getting something for this headache."

This time, he focused on Gadobhra and had a much easier time as long as he kept the viewpoint high up. Lower down, and he got a queasy feeling in his stomach. Too many people in his town didn't want to be spied on. He didn't dare go near Hungry Town.

Suddenly, he felt a presence next to him. A voice called out. "Gadobhra? Oh my, you're back! This is so exciting; I never thought you'd get free of that dreadful imprisonment curse. It's me, Valgurius. Remember me? We had a sort of mutual protection agreement? I, uh, tried to help out a couple of times and free you...but you know how far away you are and my minions are very stupid at that range. I'm so happy to see you managed it yourself." An image of a wizened man in a black velvet hood appeared in the ball. Billy noticed the velvet was damaged from moths and could use some cleaning.

The voice reminded Billy of every over-eager middle manager who didn't have the balls to shoot for the big time. He'd had dozens trying to latch onto him over the years. "Nice to meet you, Valgurius, but Gadobhra is under new management. The city is mine now. I broke the curse and took over."

"OH! That's splendid! New blood is always more agreeable to being agreeable. I've always thought that we can build strong ties and increase our power by working together and scratching each other's backs. I've held the Necropolis for thirteen centuries now, so feel free to ask any questions you have. I dare say I'm a veteran at this. I'm happy to give advice and help out the next generation. Frankly, it's nice to have someone intelligent to talk to. I sent a nice greeting to the Lord of Bloth just last decade. Do you remember Bloth? It's a deep city, splendidly made." An image of tall towers made of basalt filled Billy's view, giant chains suspending the city over a pit of bubbling lava with stone bridges arching over the gap to the city gates. "And what was the reply I got back? 'Stay off my lawn. We don't want any.' Can you imagine that? So rude!"

"Yeah, some people are like that. Not helpful at all."

"Right? There are so many ways we can work together." There was a small pause. "Speaking of which...do you still have that supply of those splendid Blood Ghouls in your city? I must confess that my own breeding hasn't given me anything so efficient at tearing annoying soldiers to shreds. Oh, they obey orders but lack that ferocity in battle that would overcome pesky paladins and heroes. Too much skulking and shambling and not enough bloodthirsty, mindless violence."

Billy laughed. "Oh yeah, I have ghouls here. Sounds like you want a trade."

Valgurius seemed a bit disappointed. "Trade? I was hoping for a small gift? Maybe a loan? Just to help me deal with this latest incursion of heroes and get back on my feet. I have no idea where they are all coming from, demanding treasure and killing all of my citizens."

Billy lit a cigar and leaned back in his chair before answering. "Times are rough all over, I'm sure you understand. And Gadobhra isn't in the habit of just giving things away. I'm a businessman and need to show a profit. My fine ghouls might be up for sale or trade. In fact, I was thinking of loading up a few wagonloads of headstones and putting them on the open market. I guess I could do a favor for an acquaintance of the old Baron who almost sort of tried to honor a mutual aid agreement. I could give you the first crack at them. What do you have to offer?"

"....Oh....well. I don't suppose you want a nice collection of hero skulls? Some of them date back centuries."

"Nope. No market for them, and I like to collect gold and gems."

"Oh, you have a hoard already? You must be doing well. I have just the thing! The finest automatons ever created. My predecessor took them in trade for his treasure room and front gates, but I hardly use them. I have so many mindless minions already that eight more hardly matter. But they are fabulous for guarding things." The viewpoint moved until Billy was looking into a storage room with eight-foot-tall stone soldiers standing at attention. "They were guaranteed to be able to deal with Tier Five heroes and can be repaired by any skilled Forge Mage or Magitech Technician."

"They don't look too lively. A lot of cobwebs and dust."

"Yes, well, they take a lot of mana daily. I'm lacking in apprentices right now. It's been a slow season for recruiting gifted young necromancers, and the mana costs of keeping an undead horde on the move are high. But you have all that lovely free mana just bubbling out of your dungeons! Tell you what, I'll cover delivery costs. My teleport stone has been on the blink lately...but I can send my minions by the Hidden Paths. My minions are good for that, at least. They can fit two automatons per wagon. I'll send you these rare and ancient mechanisms, and you give me forty-eight headstones from your graveyard. The ghouls will follow the wagons to their new home. How does that sound?"

"Sure, I can do that for an old buddy of the old baron. Send them around and let me know a delivery date."

"Oh, thank you. May the Dark Ones bless your grave! It's so nice dealing with someone reasonable."

Billy smiled. "Yeah, that's me. Reasonable Baron William of Gadobhra. Now, why don't we talk a little about some of our other old acquaintances? We can fill each other in on what's happening in our parts of the world."