Chapter 87: Deranged Ramblings of a Deranged Monk
Chapter 87: Deranged Ramblings of a Deranged Monk
Apart from a bit of ambition and aspiration, Han Ruzi had nothing else. Therefore, he could only wait patiently.
On the last day of January, Yang Feng left. He went to the Northern Army to serve as Adjutant. Before parting, he advised the Weary Marquis, “Do not act rashly. If someone approaches you, make sure to inform me. The Du family duo can be trusted, but they are from the pugilist world. Don’t reveal too much to them.”
Han Ruzi remembered this. He actually looked forward to someone coming, even if it was a provocation. However, as the days passed by, things became more and more mundane. Nobody ever visited Weary Marquis’s Manor, and there were no strangers suddenly rushing up on the streets. The puppet-like life within the palace was alarming in contrast.
It seemed as though the deposed Emperor had been forgotten.
Even in the court bulletin, which was sent every three to five days, there wasn’t much fresh news. The Empress Dowager eventually couldn’t withstand the successive memorial submissions from the court officials. She summoned the new Emperor’s three uncles back to the Capital and rewarded them generously, but didn’t assign them real positions of power. The struggle between the Empress Dowager and the Cui clan came to a temporary end. At least, that’s how it appeared on the surface. Han Ruzi had no other sources of information, so he could only speculate that both sides were accumulating strength and waiting for the right moment.
As spring blossomed, Cui Xiaojun enthusiastically tidied up the back garden. Han Ruzi felt that it was time for him to fulfill the Grand Consort’s wish at the Bao’en Temple.
The Bao’en Temple was not a public marketplace. Ordinary worshippers could only enter the front hall to offer incense and pray. To see the replica of the late Thoughtful Emperor’s tablet, one needed permissions from various authorities including the temple, the Bureau of Imperial Clan Affairs, the Ministry of Rites, and the Monastic Supervisory Office. Han Ruzi submitted his application in January, but it wasn’t until March that he started receiving responses from the authorities. Finally, on the third day of April, he was allowed to proceed.
Cui Xiaojun prepared a large amount of gifts – gold, silver, incense oil, food, clothing, pearl strings, and more. Every monk registered at the Bao’en Temple received a share.
In the end, the fact that the various authorities took so long to approve of the visit seemed justified. The whole process of offering incense went extremely smoothly. From the moment Weary Marquis and his wife left the manor, everything went according to plan. Several messengers took turns visiting the Bao’en Temple to report the Weary Marquis’s location and to gather information about the monks.
On this day, only Weary Marquis and his entourage were received at the Bao’en Temple.
Han Ruzi felt like he was leading troops into battle, but this was a battle destined to fail. He even had to prepare the spoils for the other side in advance.
As the “victorious” side, the Bao’en Temple extended full courtesy. The abbot and a dozen monks came out of the temple to welcome the young couple. Like stars surrounding the moon, they escorted the couple into the guest rooms of the temple. After enjoying some tea, they proceeded to the main hall to pay their respects to the Buddha. Even the deposed Emperor had to kneel down here, treating the deities and Buddhas as his ancestors.
Next came the continuous act of bowing to the Buddha and Bodhisattvas. After bowing at each of the temple’s halls, there was a short break. They sampled vegetarian food from the temple, listened to senior monks chanting scriptures, and chatted with the abbot.
After noon, the highlight of this visit came – distributing alms to the monks. Cui Xiaojun received bundles of items from her attendants and handed them to another servant, who then passed them to the monks called by name.
The whole process lasted for more than a few hours. Han Ruzi stood by his wife’s side, constantly bowing and offering respect. He felt more tired than when he was an emperor.
In the evening, the formal proceedings finally ended. Weary Marquis and his wife spent some time in the meditation hall to soak in the atmosphere. Cui Xiaojun returned to her room to rest, while Han Ruzi, guided by the abbot, went to offer incense to the replica tablet of the late Thoughtful Emperor.
They could only return home after the morning’s ritual and wish-making.
The room where the tablet was enshrined wasn’t large, meticulously clean. The old abbot recited some scriptures before the tablet and tactfully withdrew, leaving only Weary Marquis and a retainer.
Zhang Youcai let out a sigh and whispered, “I didn’t expect the morning to be so troublesome. The monks here are quite stingy. They even skipped dinner.”
“Monks don’t eat after noon. We have to adapt to local customs,” Han Ruzi replied. He had heard this from the court officials, so he had eaten a bit more during lunch. He wasn’t feeling very hungry now.
Zhang Youcai rubbed his stomach. “After practicing the horse stance with the Dus for so long, I finally see its usefulness. I’ve been standing all day, yet surprisingly I can endure it.”
Han Ruzi smiled and approached the offering table, observing the tablet on it. The tablet was placed within a small wooden shrine. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the tablet was wrapped in a piece of yellow silk, presumably to conceal the late emperor’s posthumous name.
Han Ruzi took out the Grand Consort’s jade ornament and gently placed it on the wooden shrine, whispering, “We have never met, but I am your younger brother, Han Ruzi. I have been entrusted by the Grand Consort to bring this item here… That’s it.”
Kneeling on a cushion, Zhang Youcai bowed a few times to the tablet and said, “Thoughtful Emperor, although we’ve never met, please protect my master and ensure his safety.”
Han Ruzi smiled and shook his head, “You can leave now. I’ll stay here alone for a while.”
“Understood.” Zhang Youcai bowed to the tablet again and left the room.
Alone in the room for a while, Han Ruzi couldn’t find the right emotions. He didn’t know this older brother and had no idea how one should interact with a normal sibling.
He bowed a couple of times with his hands pressed together and prepared to leave.
Suddenly, a commotion erupted outside the door. It seemed someone was shouting loudly. Zhang Youcai burst into the room, looking panicked, “Master, I’ll protect you!”
“What’s going on?”
Zhang Youcai looked bewildered. The voices outside became clearer now, distinctly shouting, “Fire! Fire!”
Han Ruzi was startled and hurried to the door, peering in the direction of the commotion.
There was no sign of fire.
Zhang Youcai hurried over to the abbot, “Where’s the fire?”
The old abbot wore a wry smile, “Amitābha, there’s no fire. It’s just a deranged monk saying deranged things.”
Zhang Youcai and Han Ruzi turned to look, seeing four monks holding down another monk in a corner.
“So, there’s a crazy monk even in the revered Bao’en Temple?” Zhang Youcai found it hard to believe.
The abbot walked up to Weary Marquis and bowed, saying, “He’s not a monk from our temple. We don’t know where he came from. He’s always been mentally unstable. The previous abbot felt pity for him and allowed him to stay in the temple. He comes and goes irregularly. About a month ago, he left the temple and wandered around. We didn’t notice when he returned and hid in the back of the temple. We didn’t realize it. We are sorry that we have caused you alarm.”
Han Ruzi didn’t mind, “Since he’s a monk from the temple, he should also receive an alms offering. Please release him and call him over.”
The abbot looked troubled, pondering for a moment, before addressing the other monks, “Release Guangding.”
Zhang Youcai burst into laughter, “The monk’s Dharma name is ‘Guangding.’ That’s really… truly candid.”[1]
The abbot could only smile wryly, “How else would you describe a mad monk?”
Guangding, the deranged monk, was surprisingly strong. As soon as the monks let go of him, he jumped up and looked around, saying, “Strange, there was a huge fire, why did it vanish just like that?”
“Where did the fire come from? You must have been having a nightmare,” another monk panted.
Guangding suddenly lunged forward. The four monks around him couldn’t stop him in time. In the blink of an eye, he reached Weary Marquis’s side. Without a word, he circled around him.
Han Ruzi wasn’t afraid and gestured to the other monks not to intervene. He bowed slightly to Guangding, “How are you, venerable monk?”
Guangding was covered in dirt, with hair about two or three inches long. His age was indiscernible, but his eyes were remarkably bright. After staring at Weary Marquis for a moment, he suddenly turned around, stuck his buttocks out towards Weary Marquis, and said, “Let it speak. Hmm, we’re doing fine.” With that, he released a foul smell.
Zhang Youcai shielded his master. “Insolent Guangding… Even vegetarian monks can be this smelly…”
Han Ruzi covered his nose and moved away. The abbot waved his robe, saying, “Amitābha, forgive us, forgive us. Guangding, aren’t you afraid of falling into hell after death?”
Guangding burst into hearty laughter. He recited a verse, “Releasing all the air from the belly, the body is empty as well. The Buddha sits in my heart heart, laughing against hell’s bell. Old monk, you worry about me falling into hell, but I worry about you being forever stuck in the human world, with no end in sight.”
The abbot didn’t want to argue with the mad monk. He continued chanting and gestured to the other four monks to chase Guangding away.
However, the phrase “forever stuck in the human world” uttered by the mad monk caught Han Ruzi’s attention. He took a step forward and said, “Wait a moment. Since you are all monks of the Bao’en Temple, we shouldn’t treat him differently. Zhang Youcai…”
“Our alms are prepared per person, with no extras,” Zhang Youcai refused to give the mad monk any benefits. “It’s all the abbot’s fault for not notifying us about the mad monk in advance.”
“It’s my fault, it’s my fault,” the abbot admitted with a smile. “We’ll share a portion of the alms with Guangding.”
Judging by the abbot’s expression while looking at Guangding, the portion he would get would probably be a beating afterwards.
“Buddha views all people as equals, but people see Buddha differently – big temples, small temples, gold statues, clay statues. Isn’t a mad monk still a monk?” Guangding persisted.
Han Ruzi said to Zhang Youcai, “The master is right. Give him some silver.”
Zhang Youcai clutched the purse at his waist, “Really, Master? Just smelling his foul odor is enough bad luck. Now, we have to give him money too? Why should we?”
Han Ruzi laughed, “Don’t view esteemed monks through worldly eyes.”
Zhang Youcai couldn’t understand those nonsensical words, and naturally, he didn’t see the other as an esteemed monk either. He muttered, “Esteemed monk… I don’t see much ‘esteem’ in him.” Reluctantly, he took out a small piece of silver from his purse. Seeing his master’s dissatisfied expression, he took out a few more pieces to make up ten taels and handed them to the mad monk.
Without hesitation, Guangding snatched the silver, bit it twice, and casually tossed it away. “Instead of giving me silver, it’s better to give me something else.”
Zhang Youcai turned red with anger. The four monks hurried to pick up the silver from the ground, intending to return it to Weary Marquis.
However, Han Ruzi became even more respectful and asked, “Venerable monk, what do you desire?”
“Just now, I saw you shining red all over, as if you were on fire – please give me your clothes.”
“That’s absolutely not possible!” Zhang Youcai quickly refused.
Guangding didn’t insist and burst into laughter a few times. Suddenly, he leaped forward, hoisted Weary Marquis onto his shoulder, and started running.
Zhang Youcai, the abbot, and the others were taken aback, rushing after them, shouting orders for Guangding to release Weary Marquis.
Han Ruzi was also startled. He swung his fist at Guangding’s back, but with a few dull thuds, it was like hitting a dead tree, causing his hand to ache.
Guangding knew the temple’s layout well. After a few turns, he set Weary Marquis down and said, “You’re stingy. How boring.” With that, he ran off.
Zhang Youcai and the others caught up, apologizing to Weary Marquis. The abbot had a few monks go after Guangding, determined to have him apologize no matter what.
Though Guangding’s figure had disappeared, his voice lingered, “The morning sun won’t rise in the east tomorrow, the crimson flames will soar westward, shocking the world! Hahaha, shocking the world!”
While helping to dust the Weary Marquis off, the abbot said, “Forgive us, Lord Marquis. Guangding isn’t usually this mad. I don’t know what’s happened to him today. His recitations were also just gibberish, far from the teachings of Buddhism.”
Han Ruzi felt increasingly that there was a hidden meaning in the mad monk’s words. Perhaps he was the person he had been waiting for all along?
[1] The name literally means “shiny top”, or in other words, bald.
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