All Good Novel
Intermission – Shiku – Self-Loathing (Illustrations!)
Intermission – Shiku – Self-Loathing (Illustrations!)
“Lord Shiku, it’s time to wake up.”
“Yes, my lord. It’s time for your training with Sir Salim. He also wishes to speak with you.”
A pair of voices woke me from my slumber, and my eyes stared at a ceiling that would put my mansion to shame.
Once again…
I...was still alive in this new world—still stuck here.
Laika and Leika Barkwood- sister Dogfolk maids with orange and yellow color schemes, respectively, were kneeling beside my bed. Moments ago, they used their naked bodies to keep me warm during my uneventful and restless slumber.
The sisters were assigned to me days ago by Lord Meruria to wait on me hand and foot. The Barkwood family had wronged Lord Meruria in the past, and their family had suffered the consequences ever since. I didn’t know why she went to them to give them the ‘honor’ of serving one of her Soul Warriors, but she did.
When I first met them, the two pledged their lives to me. Meruria stood behind them and ‘encouraged’ them to offer more, which ended with them stripping naked and offering their virginities to me. Lord Meruria left me alone with them, but I didn’t touch them.
I never planned to lay a finger on them.
I didn’t even want them to accompany me. But Lord Meruria forced me to keep them close since they were willing to lay down their lives and die in my stead. I had told them they didn’t need to sleep naked with me, but they said they needed to act in case someone attempted to attack during my rest.
I sat up and looked at these feminine hands, then groaned because I was forced to stare at them every day of the week.
All the power, money, and status the world offered didn’t mean much when you were filled with a sense of self-loathing. Laika watched as I got out of bed. The covers wrapped around my naked waist fell behind, exposing my nude body, and she quickly tidied up the mess.
“Breakfast will be ready when you return, Lord Shiku,” Leika said, following me to the bathroom. She waited outside after I closed the door
The fantastical luxuries this fantasy world offered were vast, but when I looked in the jewel-encrusted mirror and saw…that face look back at me?
The face with the feminine lips, soft eyes, warm hair, pretty cheeks…
It made me more sad than angry.
A quick flick of my wrist near the shower caused water to pour down on my head. It splattered annoyingly against the marbled ground, running down the shiny drain.
I was born a man, but I looked like this.
And my family hated it.
Father wanted a boy—a son to take over his legacy. He wanted to have a proper heir to inherit his dojo. He was tall, muscular, and hairy, and I was slim, feminine, and hairless except for my head.
He was rugged…and I was soft.
I was an anthesis to everything he stood for, and I felt his hatred more than a hundred dozen times.
Things changed when I learned about Aikido. My initial assessment results from my country predicted I would be as great a fighter as my father in a different discipline.
He beat me mercilessly that night and called me a failure because I couldn’t follow in his footsteps.
I gathered his approval once I started winning. Being known as the Second Coming of Morihei Ueshiba brought much fame and glory to my family. My father even received an influx of students to learn his style of karate after he marketed it as a fusion between it and Aikido.
I had thought things were going well…
But no. I thought my family would accept me for who I was—for who I wanted to be—so I risked it one day and went to the living room wearing a dress I had secretly bought.
My father’s outrage at his only son being…unnatural…left me bedridden for a month.
Disownment came next, but not before he forced me to hate myself.
He told me my appearance was a sin—proof of my weakness-- and I needed to accept who I was.
But he didn’t care who I wanted to be. He wanted me to be what he wanted me to be…
I just wanted to be happy…
I wanted to be accepted for who I was—for what I looked like…and the cute clothing and fluttery dresses I wanted to wear.
But I couldn’t ever be…just me…
So, I hid myself and tossed away the key, forever willing to believe something I didn’t have faith in…
My life eventually led me to meet Tokko at an athletic tournament. He was with Damon, and we became friends. Even as crude as the wrestler could be, he treated me like one of the guys. And after entering Mekka Academy, Mia appeared in the picture and joined our group.
And for the first time, I was happy. Tokko’s natural charisma attracted friends and turned enemies into allies. He quickly enthralled me with his ‘might makes right’ and turned me into a believer in the few years I had known him.
He was a bonafide hero, and I worshipped the ground he walked on.
But…
I…couldn’t accept him sacrificing Shuuta.
It wasn’t right.
It wasn’t fair.
Had I not killed who I wished…who I thought I wanted to be…the poor soul being sucked into the portal to the void could’ve been me.
But Tokko…
I wasn’t as strong as he thought me to be. If I was, I would’ve fought more. But I couldn’t. All this sad body of mine could do was oblige Lord Meruria’s command and help Damon throw Shuuta away.
I couldn’t tell anyone of the nightmares I suffered from because it would reach Tokko. And losing his respect? Having his hatred tower above me like a dark cloud? Hearing him say I wasn’t vital to him?
I didn’t want to be alone anymore.
I’m so sorry… Shuuta…
Salty tears dropped to the floor and joined the blisteringly hot water slapping against my skin. I could only be true to myself while trapped within these marbled confines. The noise and steam disguised my cries and let me be truthful for a handful of minutes before the mask had to come back on.
I rubbed my eyes and washed my body. If I took too long, the maids would knock at the door and let themselves in to check on me.
After turning the water off and drying, I put my robe back on and prepared myself to be who I didn’t want to be.
Because I wouldn’t ever have a chance to be true to myself.
After getting dressed in light-weight armor that focused on agility, I walked the halls of Lord Meruria’s oversized church while stuffing a sandwich my maids had prepared into my mouth. The stained-glass windows were the definition of extravagant wealth. The overarching reluctance on affluent luxuries was a clear sign this church wasn’t meant to function as one would in my world.
“What does Sir Salim need to see me about?”
“It’s training, Lord Shiku,” said one of the maids. Their voices were similar, so I didn’t know which one spoke. “Do you recall the incident the day before? You left two dead and four in critical condition.”
Yesterday, some creepy bastard tried to cop a feel on my ass in the crowded guild. He whispered how much it would be to have me sleep with him because he liked my face. I could still feel his disgusting breath tickle my neck.
Before I knew it, I had plunged my weapon through his heart and stomped a hole through his stomach. His friends, shocked, picked up their weapons and wanted to fight. I killed one and severed the hands of the others with a skill that wrapped a blade of mana around my staff’s tip, but Salim— Meruria’s sole surviving Soul Warrior from two generations ago, pulled me away. Renata and Benedict—my classmates who were part of Team Salim, weren’t there to witness it, although I saw the unsettling looks in their eyes when I told them about the commotion when they asked about it.
The incident…
Killing didn’t bother me. Father once made me train with criminals on death row to ‘make a man out of me,’ The fight only ended in death. He believed hallucinogenic drugs were the key, but I don’t remember much except looking down upon a group of dead men with broken necks.
Aikido was made to defend yourself from harm while protecting your attackers from injury. It wasn’t made to kill. And I’ve…killed so many with it… Sensei wouldn’t be proud… He’d hate me…
By this point, nearly everyone from Meruria’s latest batch of Soul Warriors had killed—either in self-defense or by hunting criminals and bandits.
Those who flinched or stumbled afterward were lectured personally by Meruria. When they left her room, they had overcome their trauma.
Laika asked if I was okay because I sighed, but I remained silent and prepared for an encounter with Salim.
He was waiting in the practice hall.
The church was more like a castle in how it was designed. It had a couple of floors, many dining halls, and a few worship rooms, and it even housed half of the soldiers dedicated to protecting the church. The other half was in the town, and then there was the military itself, which had its own section of the city dedicated to the barracks. They trained the horses and war hawks and kept the hippogriffs and wyverns there.
Damon, Tokko, and the others were on missions to help them get acquainted with Cridia. Team Salim was supposed to depart yesterday, but my…anger prevented that from coming to fruition.
A moment of weakness in anger made for a lifetime of agony.
My father told me that, but he didn’t practice his mantra.
And neither did his child, apparently…
“Eek… Leika, what should we do? Lord Shiku has that look in his eyes.”
“Support for our Lord Shiku is all we can, Laika. We were given this role by Lord Meruria. We must see it through—for the good of the Barkwood family.”
The two maids were whispering, but I heard them well enough.
“Do you understand why you are here?” asked a man with light brown skin and a thick, black beard. Salim Masru Essa—leader of Team Salim, stood in the training room. A red keffiyeh turban was wrapped around his head that came around his shoulders. He held a wooden spear, but that was his Soul Weapon. Of its hundred different forms, the wooden one was used for training because it was the weakest.
“I do,” I said, standing in front of him. Renata, a short girl with curly black hair, and Benedict, a bald student with thick, muscled arms—stood to my left and right.
“The two you killed belonged to Cridia’s third-most powerful and influential family.” Salim’s voice was horse and rugged. He looked to be 50, but he was nearly 140 years old. The names of his wife, mother, and son were tattooed on his forearms as a reminder of what Lord Meruria stole from him when he was summoned 120 years ago.
“Sir Salim, they disrespected Lord Shiku!” Leika said, standing behind me with her sister.
“They deserve death for touching a hand upon a Soul Warrior. It is not Lord Shiku’s fault.”
“You lost yourself in anger. We are Lord Meruria’s soldiers. Killing is what we do. We protect Cridia from all threats, foreign or domestic, but she will protect us. You super-seceded her authority and took it into your own hands when your life wasn’t in danger.”
“… I understand. What is to be my punishment?”
“There is none.” Salim shifted his weight. “Lord Meruria will give us a task when she returns from speaking with the head of the Glacier Family. Until then, we will train. Pick up your gear from the weapon rack and fight me.”
We did as he asked, took our positions, and started the match. Salim’s wooden spear was poised for action, but I held an advantage over Benedict and Renata because I trained extensively with a jō staff in my mastery of aikido.
I was lucky. A staff like the jō staff existed here. It fit perfectly in my palms, and the memories of training rushed to the forefront of my mind.
With each clash of our weapons, I could feel the familiar weight and balance, my movements flowing naturally like an extension of my body.
Salim attacked with determination, but my years of practice paid off. I smoothly parried his strikes, redirecting the force with ease. My spear became an extension of my will, guiding me in a dance of defense and offense while pressing the gaps in his iron defense. I observed Benedict and Renata fighting alongside me, their spears moving harmoniously. We fought as a cohesive unit, exploiting our unique strengths to create a formidable force.
Benedict was stronger than me due to his thousands of hours perfecting the ancient art of blacksmithing. He was considered the fifth-best free-handed smith in our original world, with enough precision to perform better than machines built for accuracy. The long hours and heat affected his hair, which had fallen out before his thirteenth birthday.
But in his job, hair would get in the way. When we first met Salim and introduced ourselves, Benedict mentioned he received a bunch of blacksmithing skills. His muscles weren’t for show.
Renata was the sole daughter of our world’s largest fishing conglomerate. She was also a master of spearfishing. Renata was unique in that she actively swam with her prey and speared them from inside their natural habitat, so it was easy to see why she received [Spear (Lv. 10)] off the bat. Her precision and accuracy were far beyond what I could handle.
But that was why we worked together as one. Benedict had the power, Renata had the speed, and I held a mix of both. We worked to cover the weaknesses the other shared and forced Salim into the corner. We gained the upper hand, but Salim did something new. He suddenly switched his wooden spear to one that was white and green. The tip was…
It was windy.
“[Spear Gale Thrust]!”
A powerful gust of wind lifted us into the air, defying gravity. For a fleeting moment, we soared weightlessly, suspended by Salim's skill. Yet, in an incredible display of control, he gently guided our descent, ensuring we landed safely on the ground.
“Excellent… Very excellent… It truly amazes me to see so much potential standing before me. I cannot even begin to imagine the hardships of your world to have produced souls so strong.”
“That was an excellent match, Lord Shiku!” Laika and Leika exclaimed at the same time. They held hands and jumped up and down. “Ah, you’re sweating. Please, forgive our inexperience!” The two rushed from the training room and returned in five minutes with a tray of water and jam-covered bread.
“Bismillah,” Salim said, biting into it. He sat on the floor with his legs crossed. We discovered Salim was summoned during the Seige of Baghdad during our first meeting. That occurred in 1258-- if I recall, the Mongol Empire was launching a raid. He said he was fighting against a soldier when a white light filled his vision.
He had just become a father when the siege began. Sir Salim was in a foreign, unknown world a week later.
I couldn’t imagine the culture shock. It took many months for Salim to understand his predicament. Salim said Lord Meruria promised to return him to his family when his life of servitude came to an end. She told us something similar-- how she could send us to any point in time or grant our wishes once we have fulfilled our duties as her Soul Warriors.
“But the spear is not for you, Benedict. It is unruly and not fit for your muscles. Renata, your motions lack conviction. You must fight as if you intend to kill your opponent. To do anything less would disrespect them. In my time, war was commonplace. You fought to protect your life and those you love.”
“I’m sorry, Sir Salim. I’m…”
“You said you were a spearfisher?” Renata nodded. Salim took a sip of water. “Perhaps a trident would be more in your favor? And for you… I suggest a hammer. Something with a similar feel to the tools you’re used to employing.”
Benedict and Renata were having a difficult time adjusting to this world. They hadn’t killed anything except monsters, but I didn’t know if they could murder.
If they didn’t…Meruria…would probably dispose of them as she did Shuuta. And Salim knew what had occurred during our second day here. He said he wasn’t surprised, but Salim didn't expand on that.
But of the 17 summoned 60 years ago, only four were alive. Seven had ended their lives by suicide, 2 fell in combat, and the rest had tried and failed to escape from Lord Meruria’s nation...
Salim was sent to kill the deserters.
Those four were training and helping those who needed help acclimating to this world.
I didn’t know why Lord Meruria assigned us Salim, but he was the oldest. And the most experienced. He was the army's top instructor and most accomplished general for a dozen years. Salim had been so efficient that Cridia's military was perhaps the most technical and disciplined on the Western Continent.
I still haven’t met any generals, captains, or other military leaders. I wonder if Meruria is keeping them away on purpose?
After a small lunch break, the training continued for a dozen hours. We returned to our rooms and rested, and then a servant fetched us because Meruria had returned. I followed Leika and Laika to the church’s primary nave, where I saw a woman wearing the same clothes as when I first saw her.
“Ah, there you are, Shiku. Please do not worry about yesterday. I have taken care of it,” said Meruria. She looked over her shoulder and smiled…
It was one I didn’t much care for. Salim, Benedict, and Renata were already there.
“The Glacier Family has been punished for failing to educate their eldest son. He was drunk, acted a fool, and disregarded the explicit orders to not inconvenience our precious Soul Warriors.”
“What did you, Lord Meruria?”
The blond-haired woman, who probably thought of herself as a goddess, merely smiled and said she sentenced the Family Elder to death.
I saw Renata wince.
“Whatever is the problem, dear? Why do you look at me with eyes like a frightened puppy?”
Before anyone could respond, the doors behind me were thrown open. We looked and saw a brown-eared woman casually walking down the aisle. She wore a suit, a white buttoned-up shirt, a red tie, two daggers on her hips, and heeled boots that echoed noisily on the marble floor.
That woman…she was one who…did those things to Shuuta the night before that sham trial happened. But she wasn’t alone. Behind her stood eight people. Six of them I knew-- they actively argued for Shuuta’s continued survival, but that pale-skinned, crystal-winged woman wearing a sweater and a jacket was a stranger. Her tiara hinted she was royalty, but I didn’t know if she was a queen or princess from a neighboring country. Nor did I recognize the tall, dark-skinned monk wearing orange robes and a turtle shell necklace.
“Heeey! Lord Meruria! I finished the jooob!” The woman waved and vanished amid a flash of light, reappearing near us.
“That’s a good girl, my dearest Remy… Once we’re finished, return to my chambers after fetching your sister. I’ll be sure to give you a reward.” Remy— the Wolffolk—bounced on her feet and stood beside Lord Meruria. “Now… Welcome back, my dearest Team Quella. Ah, I’ve seen you’ve had the pleasure of encountering the Dark Lord of Justice. Lord Enele, how pleasant it is to see you. Since you’re here, I imagine the incident with the Apival Duchy has been resolved?”
“Indeed, it has, Lord Meruria. The chimera is dead, the undead curse is no more, and the land will recover in time.” Lord Enele’s voice was deep. It matched his muscled body perfectly.
“Oh! You have my greatest thanks, Lord Enele.” Lord Meruria’s smile was…fake. It wasn’t genuine. She then looked at Quella and the others. “It hasn’t been three weeks since I last saw you, my dears, but how wonderful it is to see how your eyes have hardened. And Greggie! Has your stomach thinned since last we met? And, oh my…” Meruria narrowed her eyes and smiled like a poisonous hyena. She looked directly at the fairy-like woman, who carried a scorned look across her face.
“Everything you said was a lie…” Quella spoke, the fluttering sleeves of her crimson robe dangled freely. Her eyes had changed. Her voice was…tense and more accustomed to battle.
“The average level wasn’t 18. And it wasn’t a cavern. It was a kingdom frozen in ice! Nothing you said prepared us—”
“But it did, my Soul Warrior. That tome… I detect the divine energy of a Soul Weapon. The object on your teacher’s hips… Is it not the storage device for her monsters? And you, the fairy… Correct me if I am wrong, but you are the Fairy Queen Melusine, yes? The monarch of a cursed kingdom overcame with ice and despair. And here you are, 1,000 years after your land became a dungeon—standing in my church after becoming subservient to the monster tamer. Young teacher, you have surprised me. Maybe I should attempt to remember your name.” Ms. Mary winced and rubbed her arms, but Melusine supported her. “Haven’t you realized it, Quella?”
“What are you getting at?! Stop speaking in riddles! Just speak clearly for once!”
“Then I shall dumb it down. Everything happened as I predicted it would.” Meruria then summarized what occurred in the dungeon Team Quella was sent to as punishment for arguing for Shuuta’s survival. Everything she said—from Keeth using his unique ability to mold wood into cups, to Mary using her monsters to fetch ice, to them carving the fur from leopards to make gloves to hold the ice stone, and Keeth making weapons and armor from said stone…
Meruria predicted it all and hinted she sent them there to develop a will to survive. She used their hatred of her to ensure they wanted nothing more than to return. She even said there was a 90% chance of one of the six acquiring their Soul Weapon. Finding the Lore, talking to Melusine, and Mary attempting to break the world’s rule and take the fairy queen out of the dungeon was all something she had predicted would happen.
Quella dropped to her knees and nervously laughed. “Everything was planned…from the start?”
“Not planned, but—”
“Then what about the undead curse in the Apival Duchy? The chimera? Did you organize that? Did you want to make me a child killer? I...can still hear the screams...burning from the flames... I…killed so many. And what about Mary’s pills?! Did you know about them? Did you do all this to toy with our minds even more?!”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Bullshit!” Greggie spat. “We don’t believe you, Meruria. You haven’t given us any reason to believe anything you say.”
“Shall I retrieve the bell—”
“Ah, the bell.” Lord Enele cut off my summoner and approached. He laid a large hand on Quella’s head. Suddenly, a turtle floated from his back with a handkerchief in its mouth. It remained silent and hovered near Quella, who took the cloth and wiped her eyes.
That’s probably a spirit.
“Lord Meruria, why would you manipulate a bell that does not hold the power to detect lies?”
“What?!” Team Quella, myself, Benedict, and Renata all exclaimed. Lord Meruria had used one during Shuuta’s trial, but if it wasn't…
“The truth-detecting bell exists, yet only the Kingdom of Aquanis can manufacture them. We hold a detailed list of who they have been rented to, and you weren’t on the list when I last checked. Pray tell, Lord Meruria, why would you continue to play with your Soul Warriors’ hearts?” Enele narrowed his eyes.
“So… You… You… You rang the bell on purpose? After we thought we… And…” Ami grabbed her hair and screamed after dropping to her knees.
“Yes, I’ll admit it. The bell was nothing more than just that—a bell,” casually said Meruria. Lord Enele asked if she wanted to say more while holding his necklace. She nodded, and it transformed into the scales a statue might carry outside a courthouse. He spoke in a language I didn’t understand.
A wave of glowing light radiated from the scales, and I noticed a change in my activity log. I was under the effect of something called [Truth Field].
“The bell I used was nothing special. It was one you could find anywhere around the world. It only made noise at specific times because I used [Telekinesis]. Your feelings—your true feelings regarding the incident were true from the beginning. I made you feel antithesis to your hearts' desires because your essences were too clean. I require powerful deterrents to frighten away all who would invade my beautiful country, so I planned and orchestrated everything. But as for what you encountered after you left the dungeon? I had no part in that. The chimera and the undead curse happened almost overnight. That’s why I sent Remy to meet you. I knew Lord Enele would offer his assistance, but I didn’t think he would arrive in time to meet you.”
Lord Meruria dropped a bombshell. That meant the trial was rigged from the start. Quella and the others never wanted Shuuta to die. And they always believed he would be a welcomed addition, but she manipulated everything and tossed him like garbage. And she continued to infect their hearts with falsehoods designed to…
Renata grabbed Benedict’s hand and held it tightly. She shivered in her boots, and I heard her teeth chatter. It took all she had to not cry more than she already was.
“It was all for this reason. Quella, do you not understand the power you’ve gained? Mary, your unique ability to capture fragments of dungeons produced by Lore and yank them to the present is unparalleled. Keeth, I’ve seen the equipment you forged. Starting from nothing and crafting armor and swords from your surroundings shows your resourcefulness. Even you, Greggie, have changed for the better. I see muscle. I see a man who, while a shade of what I desire him to be, has the potential to fulfill what I need from him. Play your cards right, and you and the blue-haired singer shall become the cornerstone of my entertainment district. You’ll have all the money and fans you would ever wish for. Of course, you’ll still have to fight to protect and defend Cridia. But you will never want for anything ever again.”
Lord Meruria said that under the effects of [Truth Field]. She…meant it from the heart, right? Why the dichotomy between her actions and words? What purpose did they play?! She said it was all to lead to this moment, but was that the only way to reach this point?
Lord Enele canceled the skill. The scales returned to being a turtle shell necklace clasped around his thick neck.
“Are you satisfied, Lord Enele?”
“In a few ways. While I understand your desire to protect your country, I cannot agree with your methods.”
“Oh? Are you planning to intervene on a personal level?”
“You know I cannot do that. As the Head Arbitrator of the Kingdom of Aquanis, I must remain impartial to all matters related to the Soul Warrior Summoning System. As long as I am the Dark Lord of Justice, I cannot participate.”
“Then, pray tell, Lord Enele, what are your plans?”
“The Lord Conference isn’t for another eleven months, but I must start preparing for it. Before I leave, may I escort Quella and her allies to their rooms? With your permission, of course."
“Yes, I’ll allow that much. Do be careful about showing favoritism, Lord Enele. I wouldn’t want you to be stripped of your title or position.”
“Neither would I. Queen Melusine, may I ask for your assistance?” Lord Enele turned to the fairy, who nodded. She assisted the Dark Lord of Justice and helped escort Team Quella to their barracks. Before they left, Lord Meruria handed Remy six keys, and she teleported to Lord Enele and handed them to him.
“There’s a mansion located four blocks away. Since I'm so impressed with their progress, I’m granting them a token of my appreciation. Please enjoy my kindness and take a week to rest.”
No one responded. Lord Enele left with Team Quella, and I was left with new information to ponder.
So, was Melusine a queen? I knew what dungeons and Lore were. Salim had taken us to one on our fourth day here to get our feet wet. But removing the basis of what would become the boss from the dungeon? Wouldn’t that have drastic effects? If it worked the way I thought, no one could complete the dungeon after its boss was captured.
What kind of trouble would that bring?
Lord Meruria still seemed pleased. Although maybe it was because she was petting Remy’s head between the ears. Her brown wolf-like tail had been wagging non-stop.
No one knew what she was thinking. It was clear she planned many steps in advance.
“Please forgive me for that interruption, Team Salim. I did not predict they would return so soon. Now, as for your mission…”
After getting our mission from Meruria, we were ordered to investigate the remains of a fire that had broken out a few hours away. This was but another task to help dip our feet into this world. We left right away and spent four hours traveling. We stopped for the night and made camp.
Salim knew a skill to hold items in a separate dimension called [Hammer Space]. A portable forge, furnace, tools, camping gear, a grill, and cooking equipment were resting inside.
While we ate our campfire-cooked meal, discussion naturally arose.
“Hhmph! That Quella person needs to watch her tone.”
“I agree, Laika. If she wasn’t a valued Soul Warrior, I’d ask Lord Meruria for permission to kill her. How dare she be so rude to our lord? And that fat one… Wouldn’t you like to roast him over a fire?”
“Why…are you talking like that?” asked Renata. She held a trident in her hand. Before we departed, Salim had found and gifted new weapons to Renata and Benedict. They were more suited to them, and he had a shield for the latter to wield.
“Because Lord Meruria is our lord. She rules Cridia, and we are obligated to obey her.”
“We cannot disrespect her. Lord Meruria requires our full attention.”
“She’s merciful enough to grant the Barkwood family one more chance at redemption. We’ve failed her in the past, but that won’t happen again.” The sisters turned to me. “Please, ask us to do anything for you, and it shall get done, Lord Shiku!” said the two simultaneously.
“Okay. But don’t disrespect our allies. Quella is fighting her own way. For some of us, it’s difficult,” I said. “We were taken away from what we knew and thrown into an unknown situation. Everyone handles their stress differently.”
“Lord Shiku is so wise, isn’t he?”
“The wisest Soul Warrior of them all, Laika!” The two grabbed my food out of my hands, placed my fingers between their tails, and fed me. “And he must be warm. We cannot let him become cold!”
“Hehe.” Renata giggled, showing a flash of life for the first time in days. This new world was especially hard for her. While I wasn’t close with her at Mekka Academy, I knew enough of her to become acquaintances. It was the same with Benedict, and I mostly spent time with Tokko and the others.
I…
No. Any thoughts I held about the matter had to remain with me.
“Hhmph. This girl is laughing at us, Laika.”
“Perhaps we should punish her? While we are obligated to serve Lord Shiku, Lord Meruria wouldn’t mind it if we—”
“No punishing.” Laika and Leika changed their tunes immediately. Renata couldn’t constrain her laughter and expressed her feelings about the absurd situation.
I looked at Salim and noticed a soft smile across his experienced, wrinkled face while Laika and Leika ‘argued’ with Renata. I had seen enough to know they had planned this thing to lighten our hearts. Yes, they were ordered to serve me, but my maids were kind. I knew they wanted to look after us all.
Besides, this wasn’t the first time they had made Renata laugh to help cheer her up. And it wouldn’t be the last.
The two cared about us.
“It is strange,” Sir Salim whispered, speaking from a prior trauma. “When I arrived, I wanted to return. I felt it all to be a dream. But ending one's life is a grave sin in Islam. Yet I risked angering Allah if it meant seeing my family once more. But then I acquired this power… It warmed my soul to help. I want my family to be proud of me. And so, I act as if my son is here, watching me. I will make him proud. He's my source of joy."
“I…don’t have anyone waiting for me. No one worth worrying about.” I silently told Salim about my past and murderous father who forced me to kill. There were several hundred years between Salim’s time and mine. The technology we had—the foundation of our world’s progression as a Darwinistic society focusing on the strong eating the weak to grow more powerful couldn’t have made sense to him.
But he prayed for me to find solace. He was a religious man. Even after coming here, he strived to follow the Five Pillars of Islam. Salim said Lord Meruria thought it foolish to pray to someone who wasn’t her, yet she allowed him that much freedom.
Salim was gentle. He compassionately spoke and said he'd look out for me. I was an adult at 19, but knowing that he cared?
It helped.
I really wanted to tell him about my thoughts on Shuuta, my cowardice at being unable to speak up, and my…heroic worship of Tokko.
I…didn’t want him to hate me. I needed him...
But how could I face him when I was so scared of receiving his disappointment? It was a long shot, but what if a portal to the void was my fate after letting my feelings known?
I was a coward.
I had always been one.
And I’d probably die one, too.
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