Chapter 26: Volume I - 25: Apology
Chapter 26: Volume I - Chapter 25: Apology
I glanced at Clara out of the corner of my eye and see her eating her lunch with a slight smile.
She is smiling again... As a young girl, she doesn't even have a decent amount of money a month to spend freely, but she stands in front of me like she has nothing.
I took a deep breath and turned on my watch. When the holographic screen appeared, Clara looked with great interest at the screen floating in front of me.
She seems to like technology, considering the laptop she had just used. It's pretty obvious, though, given the money she can spend per month and the fact that she has a laptop.
I logged into my bank account, then registered Clara's bank account number as 'Clara', transferred some money from my account to hers, and turned off the watch.
When it was all over, Clara's little phone received a notification. She quickly went to her phone, wondering how much allowance she had received.
She looked at the screen for a while, then dropped the spoon she was holding in her other hand.
She looked at me, looked at her phone again, and shoved it in front of her face.
"What is this?"
She showed me the phone with an incomprehensible expression and stared at me with a puzzled look on her face. It was as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing, and she was absolutely sure it was a bug, given that she was still acting calm, even though she was surprised.
Where the phone screen had read one thousand one hundred and thirty-two wels a few seconds before, it now read a completely different number.
<<------------------------------
40.132 Wels
------------------------------>>
I had only sent her forty thousand and that was obviously a reaction I expected, but I wonder how she would react if I showed her that I have more than eighteen million wels in my account?
Anyway... That's not necessary for now. I don't want her to lose heart.
"Your allowance this month."
I spoke nonchalantly, continuing to eat my food without changing my expression in any way, and Clara just stared at her phone again when she realized I wasn't joking with her.
"Is this for real? And... did you say this month?"
"Yes, I transferred forty thousand because your situation is a bit bad, but I will send you fifteen thousand wels every month from now on. Or is that not enough? I can send you more if you want?"
Fifteen thousand is almost nothing compared to the money in my account, but it is more than enough for a student like Clara to do whatever she wants.
Even the children of the nobility would have almost that much money. Normal nobles, of course.
I took the last spoonful of the food in front of me and then pushed the plate slightly forward. I had finished my meal and I was full. Clara was really good at cooking... I hadn't eaten like this for a long time.
"I... you... what? But... how?"
She was trembling, she still couldn't believe her eyes.
I just smiled, reached out my hand to hers, and held it tightly.
It's time to put everything back on track.
"I told you I would change, Clara, and I have. That old asshole, weak and useless Aiden is gone. Instead, I'm here, I know what I have to do, and this is nothing you've seen yet. Quit your part-time jobs and leave everything to your stupid brother. I don't want to see you waste yourself in jobs like this, you're only sixteen and I want you to enjoy your youth."
Her whole body trembled. I could easily feel it as I squeezed her hand.
"I'm strong now, and I have even more money than you know. So you don't have to worry anymore, you don't have to work to support yourself, you don't have to look strong just for me. I may not have treated you very well as your brother, but I'm different now. So if you have any problems, you can tell me about them. Maybe I can't replace Mom and Dad, but you can lean on me whenever you want."
Without saying anything, I slid next to her and hugged her tightly.
When I entered this house... no, long before that. I've known since the first time I video chatted with Clara on the day I came into this world for the first time. I know that she's pretending, that she's trying to be strong in front of me, that she's acting like she's fine. Because in the beginning, until a short time ago, I was just like her.
Her parents had died seven years earlier, she was constantly ignored by her only blood relative, and she took countless jobs to support herself while her peers laughed and had fun.
She never had much money and, despite her young age, she carried her own burden. She was desperate for love, so she tried to get close to her brother but was ignored by him. Yet she was so hopeless that she kept writing to him.
She too was suffering, she too wanted to be happy, but she had so much on her shoulders that she started to deceive herself.
No matter how bad she was, she would force herself to smile, saying in her mind 'Everything is fine' and comforting herself. Although our reasons were different, I know from having done it myself that none of those smiles were 'real'.
Yes, maybe she had smiled sincerely in our previous video call, but that was it. All the rest of her attitude was fake and an attempt to make herself look good to me. Maybe she could fool herself and others, but never me, who had walked a similar path like her.
Clara just stood there and a heavy silence fell over the room. Then I felt the drops falling on my shoulder.
Clara hugged me as tightly as I hugged her. The tiny living room of this tiny house was filled with her sobs for the next few minutes.
*******
Almost an hour after what happened, around six fifteen in the afternoon, I drove under the autumn breezes that heralded winter and the clouds that looked as if it would soon rain.
"Where are they?"
I called out to the girl I was following, Clara, just ahead of me as I continued walking.
"We're almost there, just over here."
She pointed ahead, but I couldn't see exactly where she was pointing. So I ignored it and kept following her, studying her all the while, even from behind.
After crying for a long time, she looked much more alive, much better. After I told her that I was going to be a pillar of strength for her, she had let go of all the burden she had been carrying on her shoulders, and for the first time in her whole life, she could breathe properly.
So I was happy, it was a real relief to get her out of her troubles.
And now, the place we were approaching was the resting place of the Tenebra family.
"We've arrived."
When Clara stopped, I turned to the two graves she was gazing longingly at and looked at their names.
Our father's name was Aaron, who died at thirty-six, and our mother's name was Aria, who died at thirty-four. Their date of death was September 19, 2036, exactly seven years ago.
Today was the anniversary of their deaths.
They had left this world prematurely, where people can easily reach the age of ninety as long as they lead a quiet life, with living conditions that are not worsened by climate change and global problems like in my old world, but on the contrary, are improving even more with mana.
"They said that their last regret before they died was that they couldn't give you enough attention. They will be happy to see you change now."
Clara said this sincerely, and I felt an ache in my heart.
I clenched my fists, because there was no scenario like they will be happy. I was sure they didn't even want to see me, but being here was one of the things I had to do.
"Clara, can you leave me alone for a bit?"
Clara looked at me for a short while. Then, seeing the determination in my eyes, she nodded without saying anything. She stepped back and walked away from me.
I looked around slightly, and when I realized that no one was nearby and Clara was too far away to hear me, I took a deep breath, knelt down slightly, and spoke in a low voice.
"I apologize..."
I truly, sincerely apologize.
"I have taken the place of your son... I have invaded his body and I am deceiving your daughter by pretending to be him... I apologize."
A cold and harsh wind suddenly hit me right in the face. I smiled bitterly.
It was a coincidence. I knew that. Yet it was a well-timed coincidence, almost good enough to think it was real.
"I heard what Aiden was like, but whatever he did, I'm really sorry for stealing his life, even if he chose to end his own."
I wonder... What would have been different if they hadn't died? Would Aiden have treated his sister better? Would Clara have grown up better?
Would this family be happy? Or would another disaster befall them?
"I didn't want it to be like this, but there's nothing I can do... So, at least as 'Aiden', I'm going to take on the responsibilities he didn't fulfill. I'm going to make Clara live like a princess and help her... I may be doing it out of selfish desire as a person in need of love, but I'll really do it as a 'big brother'."
I turned my eyes to the other graves. There were thousands of people here, the dead loved by so many.
It was not only this family who left this world early, but also those who left behind children full of pain. It was like that in my old world too, you never knew who was going to leave the world and when.
So, is it right to grieve only for this family among thousands of others?
Frankly, I don't care. I just... I want my sister to be happy, so I'll do my best.
"I hope you can accept this as my apology."
The harsh breeze that had just hit my face slowed down, giving way to a slightly slower, soothing one.
Again, it was a coincidence, there was no way the dead could have done such a thing. Still, a smile appeared on my face.
"Thank you."
I stood up again and turned to Clara, who was watching me from behind, so she smiled and came over to me.
"Did it go well?"
"I believe so."
I tried to smile, but then I realized my lips weren't curving upward. I simply couldn't, as if something had locked them.
"You're crying."
When Clara said that to me as if it was the first time she had ever seen it, I realized that a tear had actually fallen from my eye, and then I felt a deep longing and pain suddenly spreading through me.
"Huh?"
I... why am I crying? Why do I feel like this?
Is it because my body, which used to belong to Aiden, is now relieved that he's facing his family, albeit through me?
Is it a burst of emotion that my subconscious momentarily projected onto me because my old family abandoned me...?
It could be for a completely different reason, but for some reason… crying doesn't make me feel so bad. On the contrary, I feel peaceful, as if a dagger that has been lodged in my heart for a long time has now been pulled out.
I raised my hands. I was going to wipe my tears but hesitated because I heard a voice.
I quickly turned in the direction of the sound and saw the source of it, a girl at my age standing not far from me.
She had short, dark brown hair that reached her shoulders. Her violet eyes, resembling an amethyst, were slightly teary as if she was feeling the same things I was feeling inside me.
She was suffering, longing, just like me.