Chapter 579: DO YOU... HATE US?
What did those two words 'I know' mean? It meant that Astrid, and most likely even Andreas, knew who they were. But despite that, they still acted like they didn't know them.
His thoughts ran back to the time he first met the twins. During that hostage taking situation when the two saved Nicol. When he first introduced himself, there was a flash of something in the eyes of the two. But that was only for a second, and then their gazes quickly returned to normal. That's why Casey didn't notice anything back then.
Even when they had dinner with Tommy, the twins' body language was also a bit strange. As if they were trying their best to put up a wall. The only time they ever let their guard down was when they were interacting with Nicol. This was especially noticeable with Astrid. Since, between the twins, Astrid was the one who mostly came in contact with the other members of the Grimaldi family.
Casey only began to realize that Astrid was subtly drawing a boundary between him and the three older Grimaldis. It was as if he was silently conveying, 'This is a line you shouldn't cross.'
Casey thought at first that it was just the other being careful. After all, he was an actor. Many aspects of that job depended on one's reputation. That's why he thought he was drawing a line, so potential rumors connecting him to the Grimaldis wouldn't tarnish his reputation.
As it turned out, he was drawing a line because he probably just didn't like them. Maybe he even hated them. Or worse, he felt nothing towards them. The last one being particularly unsettling in his opinion.
Because that would mean indifference. For Casey, that was even worse. In his opinion, indifference was the exact opposite of love, not hate. At least, with hate, the other party still felt something for you, no matter how negative that emotion might be. But with indifference, there was... nothing.
Being nothing to someone you cared about was much scarier than being hated by them.
A pang of dread shot through him, his heart squeezing tight in his chest at that thought. Anxiety coiled in his stomach, his mind filling with nothing but fear and dread. He didn't know what to do next. He just sat there, completely frozen.
"Uncle Casey? Are you... alright?"
Astrid's call seemed to force a semblance of calmness into Casey. He didn't know if it was just his imagination, or his delusion talking, but he felt a trace of worry in the other's voice. He raised his head, hoping to see that worry on Astrid's face. But the other's expression was the same as usual.
But unlike earlier, Casey didn't wilt like a withered aspen tree. Because he quickly understood the truth that if he just wallow in his self-pity at this moment, nothing will change.
Instead of answering Astrid's question, because he was far from 'alright' and he didn't want to lie to the other by saying that he was, he asked;
"How- how long have you known?"
Astrid raised his brow. He had seen a variety of emotions from Casey, not even five minutes since Astrid entered the room. From nervousness to hesitation, then devastation, followed by sadness, and now, determination. It's like the other had undergone the five stages of grief in just a minute or so.
But he was glad that Casey didn't try to act pitiful to gain his sympathy. Because if that had happened, his opinion of the other might just plummet. At least he was showing his strength to move forward, instead of just acting like a victim and thinking how unfair the situation was for him.
"Mom told us all about it before Reas and I went to the capital," he honestly answered.
Hearing that answer, Casey was a bit surprised. So, it wasn't that long. From what he knew, the twins had only arrived in the capital seven months ago. He met them just right after they arrived at the capital.
Negative thoughts swirled in his mind once again. But he quickly got a hold of himself. Nothing would be done if he continued with this behavior.
"You- You and Andreas, do you... hate us?"
As he asked that, his gaze continued to drift downward. He was afraid to see Astrid's expression. He knew it was cowardly of him to do this, but what could he do? This was the only way he wouldn't self-destruct.
He waited for the other's answer, like a sinner that had his head on the guillotine. Just waiting for the blade to cut his neck.
"I can't speak for Reas' opinion. But if you only asked for mine, then I will say honestly that I hated how the duke handled the situation back then. I hate how he used my mom, his daughter, for his revenge. And I hate how Lord Thomas was an accomplice to all that.
"But if you're talking about how I feel about the people themselves, I'm not really sure. Hate is such a strong word to use on an individual, and I don't think I feel such a strong emotion for the duke or Lord Thomas. If I have to describe my feelings for them, then it's much closer to 'dislike', I guess?"
What Astrid said was understandable. What he got from what the other said was that he hated the actions of the individual, rather than the individual themselves. Which was quite surprising for Casey. This answer showed Astrid's maturity and wisdom beyond his years. He felt proud and also sad at the same time.
And then he realized that the other didn't say anything about him. This made him nervous. What if it was because he didn't feel anything for him?
As if reading his mind, Astrid continued;
"As for Uncle Casey, I actually quite like you."