The Protagonist System

125 Handy Dandy Part Two

The adults didn't mind waiting for their own pancakes and more than a few of them looked happy at both the taste and the syrup. The paper plates and plastic forks might have had something to do with it, too. No dishes to wash afterwards.

When nearly everyone was fed, myself included, Carol came out of her tent and just stood there beside it with an odd smile on her face. I was pretty sure I was the only one that saw her, so I did up a plate of six pancakes and syrup.

“I'll bring this over to Carol and Ed.” I said and added two forks as I stood. “Amy, use up the rest of the batter and spread them around. If anyone wants more than that...”

“If you're offering to keep cooking meals for everyone, you can do it all you like!” Miranda said and a few of the women laughed. Amy had a look in her eye that said she was more than okay with it.

I did not miss the longing look on Lori's face as I walked around the group sitting around the campfire. I also saw how happy Shane was beside her. I nodded slightly to him and walked away from the camp and kept myself between them and Carol. Her odd smile changed to a genuine one as I approached her.

“Thank you very much, Rick.” Carol said as she accepted the paper plate from me. “Will you come inside for a minute? Ed's feeling a bit off this morning.”

I barely held back a bark of laughter at her dry comment. “S-sure, I'll take a look. I'm up to date on my first aid course.”

Carol ducked back inside the family tent and I followed her. She sat down beside her husband and started eating the pancakes without saying anything.

When I looked at Ed, I could tell things under the blanket weren't quite right, since the lumps didn't really match the right outline for a person. I very carefully moved the blanket up and out of the way, only to wince at the multiple broken bones, bruises all over, and the panicked look in Ed's eyes.

Yeah, he definitely abused her a lot for her to be this vicious with her retribution. I thought. “Baseball bat?” I asked out loud.

Carol didn't say anything as she pointed towards a length of metal pipe within reach of where Ed slept.

I didn't say anything about it and put the blanket back over Ed before I placed a hand on his shoulder. It took me a minute to cast a very weak diagnostic spell and I let a small chuckle slip out at what it showed me.

“What is it?” Carol asked with mild concern in her voice.

“I'm not sure if I should compliment you on being so precise with your hits or worried that you managed to break both of his arms and his legs in multiple places without killing him.” I said with praise in my own voice.

Carol blushed and seemed to take it as a compliment.

“Well, the good news is he won't die like this, as long as you don't move him. The bad news is he can't swallow solid food or much water with a partially crushed throat.” I said and Carol frowned. “No, don't worry about it. I got this.”

I took something from my pocket, that was actually from my inventory. It was a long piece of thin flexible pipe I was going to use on the pedestal sink. I measured the length of Ed's throat and added a few inches, cut the pipe with a knife, then I tapered the ends slightly, one end wider and the other end thinner.

Carol watched as I massaged Ed's throat and I slid the thinner end of the flexible pipe into his mouth and down his throat. I could feel with my fingers where it reached and it was past where Carol had whacked him good with the pipe. The wider end barely stuck out of his mouth and I bent the edges out a little further.

“There we go. I'll make up some slurry that's full of nutritional things for him and you can pour it right into his stomach. With luck, he can stay like this for a very long time.” I said. “Just make sure you don't move him or hit him again until he heals up a bit.”

The beaming smile on Carol's face should have worried me; but, it didn't. She could keep taking revenge on him without killing him and making him a walker.

“Thank you.” Carol said and her eyes went down to my empty ring finger and back to my face.

“Amy already called dibs.” I said, just in case.

Carol let out an unladylike snort and then half-choked and half-laughed, probably because she hadn't laughed in a very long time and wasn't used to it. She slowly leaned in and pressed her lips to my cheek, let them linger for a few seconds longer than she should have, and moved back. There was that odd smile on her face again and I wondered what it meant.

“I've never kissed another man before.” Carol said, her tone slightly happy.

“Me, either.” I joked.

Carol looked surprised and then she snorted and did that choking laugh again.

“I'll tell everyone that Ed's not feeling well after being bitten by one of those snakes and I tended to him as best as I could. Everyone should leave you alone for a while.” I said and she looked relieved.

When I went to stand, her hand reached for mine and held on to stop me from moving. I looked down at her and she looked up at me, her eyes full of gratitude. I knew she would never say anything about how Ed really ended up this way, so I smiled my best smile as I bent down and gently lifted her hand to kiss the back of it.

Carol's plush was near epic scale at that chivalrous move and her arm trembled a little. “Th-those damn snakes.”

I chuckled and she smiled as her blush faded. She let my hand go and I left the tent feeling much better about everything. I walked back over to the group around the campfire and everyone looked well fed and happy, even the kids.

Amy was talking to her sister and I saw that she had packed up the dry food packages. There were quite a few eggs missing from the crate; but, that was okay. If I didn't want people eating them, I wouldn't have left them there.

I also did not ask where the bottle of syrup went. If someone wanted to have a bit of fun with something tasty later, I wasn't going to call them out on it. After I had everything piled up, I took the time to explain what happened to Ed, to everyone's surprise. It set off a quick search of the camp looking for snakes and several of them were found and heavy boots were applied.

“I've got a bit of work to do in the moving van to get the hot shower hooked up, so I'm going to be busy for a while. If anyone needs me, that's where I'll be.” I said when we all gathered back at the campfire. Not surprisingly, no one offered to help me. Apparently, none of the men had any handyman experience and the women had other things to do.

“Does anyone have a spare set of pants or shorts I could borrow?” I asked and picked up the dry goods. “I'm pushing my luck with my uniform as it is.”

“I should have something for you while I take care of your clothes. I'm on laundry duty today.” Amy said and glanced at Miranda, whom nodded.

“I'll watch the kids as they play in the quarry.” Miranda offered. “Two of them are mine anyway.”

Juan chuckled and put an arm over her shoulders. “I'm on watch, so I'll kind of help you, too.”

“Thank you soooo much.” Miranda said, sarcastically.

That made a few of the others laugh.

“Come on, my tent's this way.” Amy said and whispered something to Andrea. She nodded and I followed Amy over to where they slept. “We used to stay in the RV with Dale, until it got crowded with people trying to cook food and shower all the time.”

“You answered me before I even asked the question.” I said and she smiled knowingly at me before we both ducked into the smaller two person tent. I watched her ass in the tight dress as she bent down and dug through a relatively neat stack of clothing. Admiring the sight didn't last long as Amy pulled out a pair of basketball shorts without knocking everything over.

“Tada!” Amy said and held them up.

“Thank you.” I said and started to strip off.

Amy didn't tell me to stop, or go back to the van first, and watched me as I pulled off my clothing. I felt a bit playful, so I started humming a stripping song and did a little dance as I tossed things aside and went right down to my underwear. I pulled them off with a flourish and twirled them on my fingertip for a second, then I tossed them at her and she caught them.

“Tada!” I said and posed, my erection still quite prominent. She had a really nice ass.

Amy gave me a look from head to toe for a few seconds, then she threw the basketball shorts at my face. I let them hit me and they draped over my head, making her laugh. Before I could pull them off, I felt her warm mouth engulf me and I moaned with pleasure. I let the shorts fall to the floor of the tent as I looked down at her and into her eyes.

“Good god, you're beautiful.” I whispered and Amy blushed, then she hugged my thighs and sucked harder. I cupped the sides of her head, caressing her hair, and she moaned as she worked me over fairly quickly. “I'm close.”

Amy hummed and closed her eyes as she gave herself over to the sensations. She felt me twitch down there and stopped moving in order to swallow it all as it came out. She moaned at both the taste and the feeling, which let me know my skills and abilities really had carried over from the last world. Those modifications had been magic related and I thought they had been removed.

It was at that moment my inventory expanded slightly. To my utter shock, my Adventurer Card appeared with one of my wands, another 30 feet of space filled with books, Goku's workout weights I had bought a while ago, and pieces of the plane I had stored back in Familiar of Zero and the directions on how to put it together.

Luckily, I managed to school the shock from my face before Amy opened her eyes. She sat back and looked up at me with satisfaction on her face and licking her lips. I didn't say anything as I bent down to pick up the shorts, slipped them on, and grabbed my equipment belt and keys as I left the tent.

Amy let me go and didn't comment about my quick retreat, which was a relief. I did catch a few lingering looks from the women still around the campfire as I passed them, since I was pretty much naked except for the shorts. I couldn't tell if they were appreciative of the view or not, though.

I made it over to the moving van, unlocked the back, and slid in and closed and locked it again. I lay there on the floor and just... zoned out. Just the implications of what I gained was going to alter the things I had planned, let alone what I was going to do in the future.

What I had just unlocked was going to change everything.

*

Amy felt really smug and secure in her new relationship with Rick. She had gotten him off in record time and she was sure he really liked her, even if being called beautiful while sucking him off was kind of embarrassing. She slipped off the dress and hung it back on the hanger Melinda had given her and she would add it to the delicates of her own that she had to wash.

Then again, maybe if she put that off until Rick had the hot water shower set up, they could be washed properly and there would be room to hang them up to let them dry properly while out of the way. Amy slipped on jogging pants and a t-shirt and grabbed her pile of dirty clothes, Andrea's pile, and left the tent.

Amy met Miranda at the spot for doing laundry and she handed off three baskets full of clothes. Hers, her husband's, and their kids. She still didn't regret the decision, despite how much work she had ahead of her. Miranda gave her a quick hug, an apology, and fled. It made her laugh and she set up the washboard and took out the soap.

As she worked, Amy went over the date, the absolutely wonderful feeling of having an experienced man giving her many many orgasms, and how Rick had treated her respectfully. It was a new sensation for her, since she was used to guys just pounding her and not bothering to see if she got off or not. Did all married guys do that or was Rick someone special?

Amy shrugged mentally and started washing out the hardiest clothes, the denim jeans and thicker cloth pants and skirts. It was best to get them out of the way and leave the easier stuff for later. In the back of her mind, she was imagining christening the new shower with Rick and having more fun than was safe to do in such an enclosed space, which made it even more fun because of the danger.

*

After my little existential crisis, I got up off of the floor and realized most of the things I needed to make the bathroom were still outside in the piles of parts in the clearing. I didn't berate myself or anything over that, though. What was the point? I didn't have any more time to waste.

I opened the back of the moving van and ran over to the pile. I grabbed the things I knew I would need and a few I was sure would come on handy, and walked back. I gained more inquisitive looks as I did so and wasn't surprised that no one offered to help me carry anything. They were all busy doing something, probably chores to keep the camp running, and I put the things into the back.

I climbed in and closed and locked the door, then stored everything not essential into my inventory, including the huge expensive bed, to give me lots of room to work. I built a metal platform out of shelving for the entire bathroom in the front third of the moving van's space and set both the propane tank and the hot water heater above the floor. It gave me room to hide the electrical wiring, the feed pipes, hoses, and soapy water drainage to hook everything up.

As I worked, I could feel long forgotten skills slowly coming back to me, as if a fog was lifting from the back of my mind. I wasn't sure if it was memories of past journeys or previously bought skills resurfacing, and it didn't really matter. I mentally checked my Adventurer Card and nodded at the levels accruing under the skills reforming there. It was such a relief!

It became easier to work and faster to finish things, making the whole task simpler and easy to complete. Pipe flows here, electrical wiring and a junction box there, a few runes for lightning embedded in the casing and a power buffer and capacitor between that and the regulator, which was just a reworked car's alternator to keep things from blowing up.

The subtle manipulations of magic were becoming much easier with access to a wand. I even popped apart two camp stoves and transfigured the round heating elements into a long strings that were easily hooked up to the junction box and I formed an air gap and a metal casing around them to help distribute the heat under the metal floor of the bathroom.

The shower was the biggest and easiest to set up, especially after my stacked water purification thing that I technically didn't need, now that I had access to magic. I still used it anyway, just in case someone looked closer than a token inspection. The thing worked and no one would question why I never had to change out the filters or added more water. It was out of sight and out of mind, as the old saying goes.

Adding a drain under the toilet was a bit more difficult, since I didn't want to damage the moving van's undercarriage, so that took a bit of work and a few drilled pilot holes in the floor to check. I filled them closed after I found a good spot and then I had to use one of the larger containers as a repository that would be hooked up under the van.

It was easily disconnected and stored for travel, because I couldn't hide that I didn't really need it. That was too big of a thing to hide, because everyone expected there to be a lot more remains after using the toilet and if they saw the large container, they wouldn't ask why it didn't quite fill up as quickly as it should have. Most people only knew there would be more and not how much that actually was.

The sink was simplicity itself to hook up to the hot water and the water purification system, since soapy water was easy to recycle, just like the shower. With that done, I stepped back and admired the full sized bathroom I had made. I turned everything on and the metal floor was warm and the hot water heater hummed quietly.

Oh, right. I need to build a wall to hide that and the propane tank. I thought, then realized I would have to raid a large appliance store for a refrigerator and a stove, hook them up to the power and propane, and my little bachelor apartment on wheels would be set. I'd also have to get some cushion floor for the bathroom and kitchenette and carpeting for the rest, too.

I stopped my musing and chuckled, took out my wand, and pointed it at the pieces of plastic pipe I had left over from hooking everything up. They melded together and rose into the air, expanded and changed into a black and white diamond pattern, and I set it on the raised bathroom floor and spread it out to cover the metal flooring and formed it around the shower, toilet and pedestal sink.

I took out one of the pieces of wood I had and placed it on the floor and transfigured it to be an inch thick and spread it out into the right size and shape for a temporary wall and picked it up and set it around the hot water tank, the propane tank, the water purifying setup, and the electrical panel with the car batteries. Doing it that way, left the rest to be covered with a curtain for now until I found a door to mount to close off the bathroom from sight.

I did the same trick to section off the area where the kitchenette was going to be and added a thin piece of metal along the edge to make sure I knew where it was going to be. I used a piece of wood from my inventory and expanded it and transfigured it into a small counter top to separate it from the living area.

The next thing I did was use one of my baby shirts from the shop that said I saved the world and transfigured it into a nice durable carpet sample, set it on the floor, and 'grew' it out to cover the rest of the open space in the back of the moving van. I put the huge bed back into place and it almost filled it, making me laugh, and I turned it and set the side against the wall to leave a large walkway to the bathroom.

I knew I was going to have a lot of traffic when I opened the back of the van, so I set some of the dry food supplies back into a huge pile at the head of the bed and filled in the kitchenette area with most of it. It both showed it was still there if Amy looked closely at it and also let her know that was going to be the kitchen area where food was supposed to go.

The less questions she asked about things, the better. I was going to tell her eventually, especially since my plans had significantly changed. I was still going to secure the campsite, only I was also going to add a landing strip for a world war 2 airplane. How was I going to explain that I had all of the parts for that? Eh, I'd figure something out when it was time to build the thing.