The Protagonist System

99 The Best Of The Rest Part One

I barely sat down at my table at the back of the room after posting the notice on the board when I had my first volunteer approach me to teach me something. Was 1,000 Eris a little too much to offer to show me a skill? Maybe. Would it get me access to a ton of skills I might have never seen before? Definitely.

I did qualify that it had to be a skill I didn't already have, unless it was an upgraded or stronger skill, in order for them to get paid. I would also pay them 1,000 Eris for each and every skill they could show me. It was a great deal that I doubted anyone would pass up, because it was essentially free money.

What was the very first skill I learned, you ask? It was a party trick called Hollow Leg. No, it did not actually hollow out my leg. It's a term used to describe being able to eat or drink any amount of food and beverages for up to 6 hours every day. Any amount. It essentially gave me a bottomless stomach while the skill was activated.

The next set of skills were offered by the cooks of the guild. They were prepping the giant frogs to be cooked and I eagerly watched as they performed their jobs and showed me how to properly do it without damaging the meat and increasing the flavor with a specific spice combination.

I paid them 4,000 Eris each, because the fancy chopping, rare cooking, skinning, and de-boning skills were worth it. They even let me help and I levelled the skills up really quickly. As a thank you, I showed them a tenderizing technique after creating and transfiguring a tenderizing hammer, then I enlarged it to show how it worked. The funny part was that they thought it was supposed to be that big.

The head cook promised me his first born if I traded him for the wonderful new cooking tool that made the slightly tough strips of frog meat into melt-in-your-mouth tenderloins. I asked if his first born was going to be female and he laughed as he pointed to the young woman standing next to him.

“Ignis, are you married?” I asked and she shook her head. “Do you want to keep working as a cook or do you actually want to become part of my party for adventuring?”

“Cook, please. It's all I know and I'm really good at it.” Ignis said, a little shyly.

I held out the large hammer to her and she blushed. “How about we just settle for a roll in the hay and you can own this to lord it over your father?”

“DONE!” Her father yelled, snatched the hammer out of my hand, and tossed his daughter at me.

The young woman let out a yell as I caught her and it wasn't because he had tossed her. “You can't use my stuff without my permission!”

The man waved her away and started happily swinging the foot wide meat tenderizing hammer at the piles of frog meat. The other cooks looked amused and went back to cooking up what we had already prepared.

“We can use the back storage room if you want.” Ignis said in a whisper.

I gave her a warm smile. “I have a much better place to have you instead of bending you over a wooden crate in a storage room.”

Ignis blushed a little and then licked her lips. “That... um... doesn't sound so bad, Satou.”

I barked a laugh and she blushed fully, then she gave me a sexy smile. I brought her to the back room and did her exactly like she wanted, bent over a wooden crate with her ass in the air. She enjoyed it a lot.

*

Megumin was 15 years old and she was an Archwizard. She had been trying to become part of an adventurer party for months after running away from the Crimson Demon Clan. Unfortunately, she always failed, because they discovered her pathetic uselessness after she cast her one and only spell, Explosion. She was also quite hungry, because she hadn't eaten in three days.

She entered the Adventurer's Guild like she did every week, just to see if anyone new had shown up and she could scam them... convince them into accepting her into their party... and maybe feed her. It was a faint hope, because she wasn't allowed in the temples anymore to mooch from them. On the positive side, at least she hadn't gone into debt. Yet.

Megumin ignored the hustle and bustle in the far corner of the hall as she cautiously approached the job board. She hoped beyond hope that someone needed to hire an Archwizard with her prodigious skill to clear out an area and didn't mind the large crater she usually left behind after casting her favorite spell.

Her eyes roamed over a lot of the same notices she had seen a week before and she started to sigh, then caught her breath. Someone was paying 1,000 Eris to learn skills and abilities! Any skills and abilities! She almost vibrated with excitement and read where the location was... and it was right across the hall where the gathered people seemed to be having a lot of fun.

Megumin took a deep breath and put herself mentally into her most confident mode and prepared her sales pitch. She had to convince this new guy that she would be perfect to add to his party, because he would need to keep her around if she taught him the sacred path to the ultimate spell of destruction, Explosion!

She walked confidently over to the rowdy group that were chatting and having a great time. She caught bits of conversation where they told the others about pawning off even their simple skills for 1,000 Eris. It was like free money and most of them had earned several days pay by just showing off for the rich noble.

That's perfect for me. Megumin thought and didn't try to force herself through the mostly standing group. She was much too short, skinny, and weak to move the large muscular men out of the way. So, she used her small stature to slip through the brief openings their movements gave her. Under an arm, by their leg when they shifted weight, and even between the legs of that big bowlegged Ruffian.

Megumin finally reached the table with a sigh of relief, because she hadn't been accidentally stepped on or crushed in the press of bodies. She looked at the rich noble the men talked about and she gasped. His shiny orange-yelllowish expensive armor almost shined in the guild hall's lighting. He had his helmet on the table and his long white hair made him stand out even more than his handsome and aristocratic features did.

“Thanks for teaching me that, Gerald!” The handsome man said and clapped a bare-armed man on the shoulder. “Here's your money and the drinks are on me.”

“Anytime, Satou.” Gerald said as he accepted the 2,000 Eris and raised his hand to call over a waitress. One seemed to easily get by the gathered men and she handed him two tankards of ale and accepted the money for it from Satou, whom also tipped her for being so diligent in tending to his official meeting.

Megumin fought down her jealousy at the barmaid's smooth movements and steeled herself for the following confrontation. She fully expected to have to argue a lot to get the chance to show off what she could do, and stepped forward with her staff raised and was going to slam it onto the table to get his attention.

“That's not necessary, Crimson Demon Archwizard.” Satou said as he turned towards her, making her pause with the end of her staff just above the wood of the table. “I saw you long before you managed to get yourself to my table through all these big brutes that love free ale.”

That had all of the men around the table laugh and raised their tankards and cheer. “Free ale!”

Satou chuckled and patted the seat beside him. “You might as well have a seat. I have 3 others to get through before you can have a chance to show me what you can do.”

“Th-thank you.” Megumin whispered and sat, careful of not sitting too close. She didn't want to give him the wrong impression. Before she could do anything else, her stomach chose that moment to betray her and loudly proclaimed how empty it was.

After a moment, the men laughed and cheered again. “Free food!”

A barmaid seemed to materialize beside her and put down a huge plate filled with the most delicious smelling frog meat Megumin had ever smelled. “Satou prepared a lot of this after catching it.” She said and added a tankard of ale. “Enjoy it.”

“Please, keep it coming.” Satou said when he saw that Megumin couldn't stop herself from shovelling as much food into her mouth that she could. The barmaid nodded to him and disappeared through the crowd.

The next guy stepped forward and showed off his ability to dual-wield knives and swords. After that, he showed off several attacks, one even splitting the table right down the middle. Satou quickly caught the two halves before they fell and held them together, then the table looked brand new.

“Thank you for showing me all of that, Farris. Here's 7,000 Eris.” Satou said and took the money out. “Have a seat and the drinks are on me.”

Farris accepted the money and walked over to the closest table with a free seat and the barmaid delivered two tankards of ale and a plate of food. A moment later, the barmaid was beside Megumin and switched her empty plate for a full one.

Megumin took a small sip of ale to wash down the food she barely tasted. Instead of wolfing down the new plate of food, she took her time and actually enjoyed it as she watched the next two men showed off their skills. She was surprised that the rich noble really did want to see any skill be performed, no matter what it was. The last guy juggled applies, for goddess' sake!

He still got paid, though. Megumin's surprise hadn't abated by the time it was her turn, because she still had half a plate of absolutely delicious, murder your best friend to steal and eat it, frog meat.

“Miss Crimson Demon, show me what you got.” Satou said with a deep voice and a sexy smile.

Megumin blushed and her face was the same color as her robes.

The men around them laughed and raised their tankards. “Free show!”

Satou laughed and lightly patted her shoulder. “I apologize for making that joke...”

“Every time!” The men cheered and took another drink.

Satou laughed again. “I can't help myself. You all know I took in all the maids from the failing cafe.”

The men cheered again and thanked him.

“You did what now?” Megumin asked, shocked.

“The cafe has been losing money for a long time.” Satou said, sadly. “Once I found that out, I contacted the owner and she was too far in debt to accept help. She didn't want to throw more money at the problem, only to lose that as well.”

Megumin could understand that thinking. Every bit of money she earned went right into her stomach. She had taken to sleeping inside anything she could find the last few weeks. A broken off log, an unguarded barn, a tool shed, and once even under a hay bale, just because it was warmer than sleeping in the nearby ditch.

Satou twitched slightly for some reason and gave her a warm smile that made her heart flutter. “I opened the home I was building to her and her employees, which gave them an actual home with their own rooms. I hadn't known they were all sleeping in the back room of the cafe to save money on rent.”

I wish I could do that. I haven't slept in a bed since I left home. Megumin thought and then pushed that aside. She needed money to eat and showing off her only skill was the easiest and best way. “We need to go outside for me to show you the best spell in the world.”

“Outside the city!” The men said as one, raised their tankards, and emptied them.

Satou chuckled. “That's not a problem.” He said and nodded at the half-eaten plate of food. “Do you want that packed up to take with you?”

Megumin nodded and started to raise her hand to call for the barmaid, then the food lifted up and was wrapped in some kind of thin metal that crinkled.

“It's called aluminum foil and will keep the food warm for a half hour or so and preserved for a day.” Satou said and handed it to her.

Megumin put it into her small overstuffed satchel and barely closed it.

“Shall we?” Satou asked and stood as he held a hand out to her.

Megumin blushed and very slowly took the offered hand. The men cheered again and several barmaids brought them ale.

“I'll be back in a bit.” Satou promised and the men raised their new tankards.

Everyone watched as they left the guild hall and Megumin did her best to not squirm under the undeserved attention. She didn't question why her normal arrogant stance wasn't working for her, because just walking beside this rich noble made her feel small and insignificant. Everyone that greeted him was greeted in return, by name, and that was so astonishing that she stayed quiet until they reached an empty lot.

“What are we doing here?” Megumin asked. “I can't show you anything inside the city without getting into severe trouble. Again.”

Satou gave her a crooked smile and stepped forward, only for the air to seemingly split open like a door and a very pretty maid smiled at them.

“You just can't help yourself, can you?” She said with a laugh and waved them inside.

“No.” Satou said and brought Megumin inside. “Welcome to my Tower.”

Megumin stared around at the large lobby that couldn't have just been in an empty lot. It was actually bigger than the lot!

“We're heading outside the city for a bit.” Satou told the maid.

“Oh! I'll get the girls!” The maid said and slammed the door shut, popped out her bat-like wings, and took off flying.

Megumin gasped and stared at the woman flying away.

“Yes, the maid cafe was run by succubi.” Satou said.

Megumin turned her head and stared at him. “Why aren't you dead?”

Satou chuckled. “I'm not sleeping with any of them, despite the rumors.”

“What rumors?” Megumin asked.

Satou gave her a pointed look for a moment, then gave her a very big smile. “I'll tell you later.”

Suddenly there was the sound of a bunch of wings flapping and 15 maids landed in front of them.

“I have the picnic things.” A sexy female voice said and a short woman faded into view.

Megumin did her best to not be jealous of the woman of equal height to her with large breasts. It wasn't working, because she didn't have a chest at all to compare them. It wasn't fair! How could she have huge breasts like that and she had none! NONE!

All of the succubi shivered and a few of them made soft moans. Satou motioned to the stairs and they all went up to the second floor. They all stepped onto a 20 foot wide circle of stone and Megumin's raging emotions calmed as she also stepped onto it. She had never seen anything like it before and she wondered what kind of magic it was and how long it would take for word of it to reach the Crimson Demon Clan leaders.

The circle glowed with some unknown magic that Megumin felt along her spine, then a bright flash of light briefly blinded her and she suddenly felt the wind on her face. She had to blink her eyes several times before her brain caught up to what her eyes were showing her. They were beside a huge lake and an old rundown and ruined castle.

“We love it here.” The succubus with the picnic basket said and handed out a huge folded checkered blanket that the other succubi took a short distance away and unfolded to be 30 feet wide and 30 feet long. She then started handing out containers of food and things that the succubi set out for everyone and then they all settled down.

“We're on the far side of the thick forest that's outside the city of Axel.” Satou explained and pointed off to the side and away from the picnic blanket. “With the Tower so high, it's easy to see for miles and miles around. Getting here was easy, once I saw it with my own eyes, and I put a teleportation circle where I knew they would be useful.”

“That's what that was?” Megumin asked.

“It's come in handy before, so once I arrived here, it was one of the first things I did.” Satou said let her hand go as he stepped back. “What spell was it that you wanted to show me?”

Megumin felt a thrill go through her, because she was going to unleash her best and most powerful spell. That it was her only spell was beside the point. “Let me show you the pinnacle of power!”

Satou nodded and Megumin took several steps away and held up her staff as she drew her magic from deep within and chanted with all her heart as she pointed towards the old ruined castle.

“Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee! Combine with my deep crimson. The time of awakening cometh! Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, appear now as an intangible distortion! Dance, Dance, Dance!” Megumin chanted.

Power flowed and swirled about her as an unnatural wind rose up to blow around her robes. Her clothes fluttered and the brim of her witch's hat waved and somehow stayed on her head.

“I desire for my torrent of power to become a destructive force! A destructive force without equal! Return all creation to cinders and come from the abyss! This is the mightiest means of attack known to man! The ultimate attack magic! EXPLOSION!” Megumin shouted and a bright blast of crimson light shot out of her staff towards the old ruined castle.

*KAABOOOOM!*

The blowback wasn't much, thanks to the castle being far enough away and also up on a small ridge. The bright fireball was pretty, too. The succubi all clapped politely, even though the castle was barely damaged.

“That's not bad.” Satou said and mentally graded the technique as he saw Megumin start to collapse from magical exhaustion. He easily caught her and cradled her in his arms, which made Megumin blush, despite no other part of her being able to move.

“That is a powerful spell.” The Head Succubus said and reached over to touch Megumin's forehead. “You enjoyed that a lot, didn't you?”

“Y-y-yes.” Megumin admitted in a whisper. With her so helpless, she saw no reason to lie about it.

“Then you are going to adore our benefactor.” The Head Succubus said and patted Satou's head. “You might as well show her what a real explosion can do.”

“Are you sure? She didn't put any skill points into anything except her main spell.” Satou said.

The Head Succubus giggled like a little girl. “Show her what a little balance can do for her.”

“Ah, I get it.” Satou said and Megumin glowed as she felt energy fill her. “Hold her for me.”

“Gladly.” The Head Succubus said, knowing full well Satou was giving her a great gift by letting her feel Megumin get off from what she was about to see.

Megumin wasn't sure what was going on until a beach ball sized ball of blue energy formed above Satou's hand. The sheer power flowing off of it made her and all the succubi tremble with desire... then it started to shrink and increased in power. It became smaller and smaller until it was only the size of a pea and almost too bright to look at.

It was covered in a solid substance somehow and then Satou pointed it at the old castle ruins. The thing disappeared, there was a very small echo of shattering glass, then the world went white.

*WHAAAA-BOOOOOM!*

They all covered their eyes from the bright flash and then yelled with pleasure as the backlash from the explosion washed over them. Even Megumin, so used to using her own explosions, had shivered with desire as she finally opened her eyes and saw the atomic cloud of dust that was hundreds of feet in the air, then she saw that there was no longer a castle on the ridge. Or a ridge.

Megumin's eyes rolled into the back of her head, the pleasure too much for her, and she passed out. All the succubi shivered as well and laid down to bask in her afterglow.

The Head Succubus cuddled her and held her tenderly. “She has seen the light, dear.” She said fondly as Satou sat beside her. “Now she knows what real explosion magic can do.”

Satou chuckled as he leaned close and gave the happy succubus a kiss.