All Good Novel
Chapter 143
[Translator - Jjescus]
[Proofreader - Gun]
Chapter 143
────────
A Fortunate One V
“Gyaaaaaaaaah!”
Before Noh Doha could finish his muttering, screams erupted from the bunker.
My comrades were pointing at me, looking horrified as if they were witnessing the live descent of Cthulhu in person like some VIP cultists.
“Doctor Jang! It’s the Doctor Jang!”
“The monster from the Three Kingdoms has appeared!”
“It’s so disgusting...! I hate it so much! Just watching it makes me want to grab my earlobes and rip them off...!”
They continued to scream endlessly.
By the way, I had stocked water bottles near the entrance of the bunker for this very moment. My comrades, as if hypnotized, picked up the bottles and started throwing them at me.
Amidst the heartwarming sight of water bottles flying from all directions, I was the only one smiling warmly.
'Just as planned.'
It was a natural phenomenon.
What effect did the “Savior” monster originally have? It pushed the affection level towards me to its maximum, no, beyond its limit.
And the “Hate Pill” was an elixir that engraved a reverse spell on the affection towards the drinker.
The affection that the “Savior” pushed to its limit in the positive direction was now completely reversed into the negative!
In other words...
‘At this moment, my misfortune has descended upon this place.’
As expected, I cherished my comrades.
To be hated by such adorable kids like this...
It was a tragic event as brutal as when a grandfather hears his grandchildren say, “Grandpa, your hands smell!”
“Brother! No, Doctor Jang! Just die, please!”
“To think I called someone like you ‘oppa’... I’m ashamed of my past self.”
“Well, technically, Hayul, you’ve never called me that. You can’t speak, right? You’re saying this through a puppet now.”
“I’ve hated that illegally employed security guard since forever!”
“Disgusting.”
As I looked into the eyes of Tang Seorin, who was glaring at me with pure hatred, my heart was pricked like it was being combo-attacked with a needle.
“Aah.”
Are you watching, Luck Conservation Theory?
This is the refined footwork of an experienced regressor, and this is how you utilize monsters.
No matter how much you prepare to be a Santa Alter who gives me misfortune, if I preemptively harvest an enormous amount of misfortune myself, you’re just a single unemployed Finn in the post-COVID era.
What can a mere monster like you do when a regressor willingly makes himself miserable?
End of the world? Hmm. Is that really more unfortunate than the look of genuine contempt from Tang Seorin?
Limb amputation? I wonder. Even now, the saintess is chopping my neck with a hatchet, repeatedly pressing the ‘pause’ and ‘play’ buttons in time.
Incurable disease? Laughable. Cheon Yohwa is pulling out the hourglasses that collect the spirits of Baekhwa High School’s ghosts from the trunk... No, that’s seriously dangerous.
I quickly knocked out Cheon Yohwa.
As the distance between us quickly closed, my former comrades trembled and convulsed even more.
“Die! Die! Please, just diiiiie!”
“You’ve failed to save the world hundreds of times, you bastard! Incompetent! Because of you, people around the world have died hundreds of times! You deserve punishment!”
To understand their reaction, imagine the sight of a 2-meter-long cockroach approaching.
Right now, I, Doctor Jang, appeared as a reverse-Koyori in the eyes of others.
The exact opposite of a demon that somehow manages to win affection, I was now an angel that absolutely draws out disgust, no matter what.
Supreme and unmatched.
‘So this... is the view of the world that the pink creature usually looked down upon.’
How laughable and trivial.
“Dokseo, are you watching?”
“Yeah! It's disgusting that you’re calling me by name, but it's okay! I still recognize that you’re not a monster. But could I break just one of your fingers?”
“That’s difficult. That’s why I didn’t train my comrades too strongly this time.”
“You’re the best! My protagonist! So respectable! So disgusting! So could you stop breathing for a moment? Just sharing the same air as you makes this space feel unbearable.”
“Hey. Don’t get possessed by the monster. Don’t let your emotions sway you; witness the truth. You are destined to save the world.”
“Damn, it’s like a regressor and a possessed bookworm have become master and disciple just to mess up the world…”
Noh Doha cursed while fiddling with his smartphone.
Even in the National Road Management Headquarters, which was increasingly turning into chaos, Noh Doha was the same as ever.
He was someone whose attitude towards others, especially me, never changed regardless of whether affection was reversed. It was proof of his true nature: he treated others like they were distant cousins of a rat.
“Sigh...”
Thud. Noh Doha put down his phone.
Then he threw the stack of documents piled up on the table.
The dusty papers (due to the resource shortage of the end times, even the head of the National Road Management had to use recycled paper) fluttered in the air.
“How long do you plan to show off your thick urine stream here? Let’s go…”
“Huh? Go? Where?”
“I don’t know, damn it. The saintess just sent a group chat quest to all the awakened. She said the Doctor Jang has fallen and is now indiscriminately massacring humans, so all awakened should unite to eliminate him. You’re the only one who didn’t get the message, you outcast…”
“Oh.”
“SGNet also had posts flood in just now. [The Nameless Constellation], [The Librarian of the Grand Library], [The Manager of the Cosmic Games], [The Morning Star of the Second Coming], [The Collector of Anomalies], etc. Hmm. It looks like they’re forming a nationwide coalition to take you down…”
Listening to Noh Doha, I looked and saw that Seo Gyu and Sim Aryeon were furiously tapping on their smartphones at the back of the line.
The saintess must have requested reinforcements as soon as she realized physical attacks were ineffective against me. She had her eyes closed and her hands clasped, clearly focusing on [Telepathy].
“I can’t work in a world this shitty. So let’s get out of here…”
“Oh.”
“I’m quitting, damn it.”
I made a face like Liu Bei hearing that Zhuge Liang wanted to retire to farming. What will happen to this country without you?
“Do I care? Let it go to hell... Hey, Director Yoo Jiwon.”
“Uh. Yes?”
“You’re the next head of the National Road Management.”
What.
“No handover. Figure it out yourself. If you’re not a total idiot, you’ll manage. If you’re really lost, open safe number 36 and refer to the notebook. You’ll get by. And don’t look for me if I disappear...”
“Ah! Thank you! Your Excellency!”
No way.
I was astonished. Yoo Jiwon had finally been promoted to head of the National Road Management!
If this story’s protagonist wasn’t me, the Doctor Jang, but Yoo Jiwon, it would have been a successful epic of a convenience store clerk who climbed the ranks in the nation’s top guild, gradually progressing from regular staff to manager to director, and finally, after 590 turns, becoming president.
Is this real? It was.
While I was shuddering at the success story of this psychopath, Noh Doha was packing something into a trunk.
Apart from a few pieces of clothing, there really wasn't much packed.
Noh Doha was always ready to say goodbye to his job at any moment. He kept his personal tools and everyday items in the trunk, always prepared.
The difference between him and other office workers who constantly made similar resolutions was that Noh Doha had actually submitted his resignation letter.
Noh Doha grabbed the handle of the trunk and looked at me with a disdainful expression.
“What are you doing...? I said let's go.”
“Hmm.”
[Translator - Jjescus]
[Proofreader - Gun]
“I can see you’re wondering ‘where to.’ Well, first, we need to get off the Korean Peninsula. We’ll need to get out of the range of that saintess's [Clairvoyance] and the scouts she's sent out if we want to shake off the pursuers...”
I couldn't respond immediately.
It was somewhat unexpected.
Honestly, I had assumed that Noh Doha would also be under the spell of the ‘Hate Pill’ and would curse me as well.
But Noh Doha was completely unaffected. Almost disturbingly so.
‘Is it because his affection towards me was never that high to begin with, so even if it’s reversed, there’s no noticeable difference?’
Or is it because he’s habitually cursed and scolded me all along that I can’t tell the difference?
I wasn’t sure either way.
This was my first time dealing with the Hate Pill in this 590th turn.
My usual method for handling anomalies was to figure out strategies through repeated regressions. But the Hate Pill required further research.
For that research, Noh Doha, who seemed to be an exception to the Hate Pill’s effects, was a valuable sample.
“Aren’t you coming? If not, fine. I’ll just go hide out on some remote island...”
“No, wait. Let’s go together. Hawaii might be too far, how about Saipan or Guam?”
“Saipan? Hmm...”
“Yes. If something happens on the Korean Peninsula, I can just quickly cross the sea and check it out before coming back.”
“A resort... Well, this world is a mess no matter where you go, but I guess we can at least try to enjoy the atmosphere. Fine, whatever...”
“Dokseo. Are you coming along?”
Oh Dokseo smiled broadly.
“No way! I hope you drown! Oh, but I’d like to see you die, so if you could at least die in front of my eyes, that’d be great!”
As expected, I was unlucky.
8
The decision to resign from the presidency and go on a trip to Saipan was made on the spot.
If Noh Doha had been an American, Air Force One would have landed to kindly escort the recently resigned ex-president. Unfortunately, the USA had collapsed before they could accept Korea as the 51st state.
So we had no choice but to get to Saipan on our own.
Given the unprecedented nature of the resignation, the procession of journalists chasing us was equally grand.
- It’s Doctor Jang! That bastard is escaping!
- The ideological betrayal of Comrade Secretary is unbearable! Punishing the traitor is the only way to preserve the purity of our ideology...! We must reluctantly prepare the guillotine!
- Wait! Hold your fire! That bastard has taken the Director of National Highways hostage!
- What?
- That, that, that wicked terrorist bastard! Release the Director of National Highways!
Escaping was no easy task.
The Sword Maiden blocked my path. A warrior who had fought me for 101 rounds in my first year, now prolonging the battle to over 200 rounds.
“Doctor Jang! How could you stray from the righteous path and fall into the demonic ways! There is no greater pain than witnessing a former friend succumb to evil!”
“No, if we’re talking facts, the closest thing to demonic in this turn is actually you...”
While the Sword Maiden bought time, the other Awakened didn't just sit idly by. They actively added to the chaos.
“Ah――ah――aaa――.”
First, Tang Seorin started to sing. This was the biggest problem, so I fled before the fifth melody could escape.
“Did you miss me? Senior?”
Then, Cheon Yohwa (Thousand Tales) finally released Cheon Yohwa (Heavenly Loneliness). The demon possessing Cheon Yohwa spread its unique domain around the Busan area.
Oh, by the way, the way to distinguish between the two is by how they address me. Yohwa calls me “Teacher,” but the demon calls me “Senior.”
[Die.]
Then Hayul’s puppet strings tightened around my neck from all directions.
The Korean Peninsula, especially Busan, was filled with the webs Hayul had woven. They protected Busan from both land and sea in case of an anomaly invasion.
If they could prevent external invasions, they could also prevent internal escapes.
On top of this, the Saint’s [Clairvoyance] and [Telepathy] were constantly aiding the Awakened.
“Wow.”
I was impressed by the strength of the forces I had cultivated in the Korean Peninsula.
If Sim Aryeon, who had leveled up to a Northern Saint through Zero Requiem, had been there, I might have died. It was really lucky that the aliens built the Great Wall in this turn.
The Sword Maiden’s swordplay, Tang Seorin’s song, Cheon Yohwa’s unique domain, Hayul’s 17-part web, and the Saintess’s backup made it difficult for even me to escape without any damage.
In the end, I left my left leg behind and fled. Half of my lower body had turned into a 50% version of Hayul.
I didn’t particularly mind. Not only was the world’s strongest prosthetist with me, but I also had calculated that even this small ‘misfortune’ would somehow work to my advantage.
“No way... did you really break through this? You’re really a crazy bastard, aren’t you...?”
Noh Doha, who was on my back, muttered in disbelief.
Even amidst the chaos, Noh Doha didn’t have a scratch on him.
“If I had a little more time, I would have used the Bureau of Anomalies, but it can’t be helped. We’ll continue crossing the sea to Saipan.”
“Water is splashing on me constantly. Can’t you avoid the waves a bit more...?”
“The waves are just born; I’m over ten thousand years old. The young waves should avoid me.”
“Sigh...”
We successfully broke through the frontlines.
For the time being, an endless sea stretched before us.
I boarded the Savoia S-21 seaplane that I had prepped on Tsushima Island. It was the light aircraft I had used when tackling Cheon Yohwa and the demon.
After a short flight, we were able to land on Saipan, once famous as a resort destination.
-Ukkikik.
Somewhere, mixed with the sound of the waves, I thought I heard the laughter of monkeys.
[Translator - Jjescus]
[Proofreader - Gun]