All Good Novel
Chapter 158
[Translator - Jjescus]
[Proofreader - Gun]
Chapter 158
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The Strategist X
12
- Ah, ah, ah... Ch-zzz, ah...
The appearance of the [The Admin of All-Play] was bizarre.
First, their entire body was crackling with television static, a signature feature.
Even their voice stuttered like a malfunctioning AI, making even a poorly programmed Vocaloid sound like a master singer in comparison.
- Ch-zzz, ah, ah... Ah...
It was clear to anyone that they had suffered a critical hit.
But all these peculiarities were nothing more than trivial decorations compared to the "appearance" of the alien god.
“Eek.”
The most bewildered person was Oh Dokseo. She looked back and forth between the alien god and me, unsure of what to do.
“A... a girl...?”
Yes.
The alien god had taken the form of a ‘girl’ with ‘white hair’ and wearing a ‘white dress.’
The sight of the white girl, constantly covered in static and leaking black liquid from numerous bullet holes, was rather distressing to anyone who hadn’t lost their humanity.
“How... How did this happen? Did the alien god intentionally take this form to elicit sympathy from us...?”
“No, this was planned.”
I dropped the Walther PPK pistol.
The "God Slayer" had no further effect anyway. The role of this treasure was solely to inflict a fatal wound.
A little-known fact was that the gun that delivered the final blow to the god of Korea wasn’t the Walther PPK but another firearm. The PPK had misfired at the crucial moment.
The Walther PPK, which failed at the most critical moment, fit the description of a "Chekhov's gun" perfectly. But its role was over.
“When you were meditating under the waterfall, trying to feel a connection with the god, the writers were trapped inside the hotel.”
“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, I knew that...”
“At that time, I asked the writers to create works related to the [The Admin of All-Play].”
Yes.
To quote exactly what I said to the writers:
‘All you have to do is write. Oh, and when you start a new novel, please make sure to include a god in the introduction. The god’s name should be [The Admin of All-Play].’
‘Get us out of here!’
‘Well then, good luck, dear writers.’
And when I made this polite request, I actually gave the writers one more hint.
I specifically asked them to describe the [The Admin of All-Play] in the form of the "white girl" before us.
As a result, the [The Admin of All-Play], having been fatally wounded and weakened, had no choice but to transform into a form dictated by humans.
In short, I collaborated with the writers to lock the alien god’s appearance into place.
“Why? What’s the significance of that form? Isn’t that just in poor taste?”
“Tut, tut. Ah, kids these days... Can’t even hold a conversation.”
“...?”
“Dokseo, that ‘white girl’ is one of the fundamental elements of Korean genre literature and the least harmful form a god can take. Now that the [The Admin of All-Play] has become that, it’s no longer a threat to us.”
“...???”
As soon as I finished speaking, the white girl, covered in static, stretched out her slender hand.
And then, she moved her lips.
-Ah, ah, ah, ■, ah.
-Hello? Hello? Hello?
-Hello? I’m a god.
-Hello, I’m a ■ god?
-Hello, I’m a god?
Like a broken cassette tape, the alien god kept repeating the same phrases.
Oh Dokseo’s jaw dropped.
“Aaahh?! No way! This is... Could this be the infamous...?”
“Exactly. Let me introduce you. This is the cliché of ‘Hello, I’m a god.’”
I suppose a brief explanation is in order.
These days, when protagonists are reincarnated, they often die in accidental traffic accidents involving the "Reincarnation Truck" or deliberate hit-and-runs caused by "posting malicious comments." But in the distant past, a different cliché was popular.
When I say "the distant past," I’m talking about a time before KakaoPage or Series existed.
Back then, aspiring writers were all writing parody novels of subculture works, going through their rebellious teenage years, when a mega-hit work from Japan arrived.
Just like how the Beatles conquered the U.S. music market with the British Invasion, this hit from Japan bombarded the minds of young Korean otakus.
The bomber was called .
Translating that foreign title into human language, it was ‘Fate/Stay Night.’
The otakus, blessed by the moonlight, went wild and poured out parody works. It was a killer moon.
And among the characters in Fate/Stay Night, there was a white-haired, white-dressed girl――.
Parody writers made this white girl character a stand-in for "god," always appearing in the prologue.
For example, when the protagonist dies a tragic death at the beginning, they suddenly find themselves in a pure white space upon waking.
‘Wha-where am I? I should’ve been dead...’
‘Hello? Son, you’re already dead. Sorry about the mistake, so I’ll grant you one wish and let you be reborn in a new world.’
‘Son... What? Wait, who are you to say such a thing to me?’
‘Me? Hmm... If I were to compare myself to something in your human language... I suppose I’d be... "The World"?’
‘The... World...?’
‘Yes. Hello? I’m "The World."’
Exactly.
Originally, it wasn’t “god” but “The World.”
The key was to emphasize the dignity of the god with imposing double quotation marks (“”) instead of weak single quotes (‘’).
Anyway.
As such parodies poured out like a summer monsoon, the "white girl as god" cliché started appearing in other proper works over time.
By this point, the white girl lost her original name of “The World” and fully established herself as "god."
[Translator - Jjescus]
[Proofreader - Gun]
A girl god who appears in the prologue to either send the protagonist to another world (reincarnation) or turn back time to let them live again (regression).
This is the historical origin of the "white girl" who says, "Hello, I’m a god."
You could also call it a literary origin. After all, Fate is literature.
“Well, of course, Fate/Stay Night wasn’t the only origin. The character 'Truth' from Steel Ball Run played a similar role. You can see it in Japanese AA works. Still, the form of the ‘white girl’ as a god originated from Fate/Stay Night...”
“Ugh, that’s way more information than I wanted.”
After hearing my flawless explanation, Oh Dokseo looked at me with an incredulous expression.
“And didn’t you say you only got into subculture around the 555th turn? That’s later than me, and you got into it in the first place because of me. So how do you know about stuff from the ‘90s?”
“Ahem. It’s not the ‘90s; it’s the 2000s. And I’ve spent three entire turns—555th, 556th, and 557th—immersed in subculture. Of course, I recovered all the old data, read everything, and decoded even the drafts locked in private posts on all the forums.”
“No way... Now I see, it’s not just the Romance of the Three Kingdoms that’s a problem. You’re just a total mess overall. What kind of monster did my past self end up getting into this stuff...?”
At that moment, a cough was heard from the side.
The saintess was staring at us with an expressionless face.
"Regardless of the origin of this situation, you're saying that the form [The Admin of All-Play] has taken now is the least 'harmful' version of a god?"
"Yes, that's correct."
"Then I believe it's time to deliver the final blow."
The saintess calmly stated.
Indeed, it was so.
"Dokseo."
"Huh, yeah?"
"Take out your laptop and start it up."
"..."
Dokseo slowly pulled out a laptop from their backpack. It was the very device left behind by [The Admin of All-Play] long ago.
The screen was blank white. And on the white notepad file, the same question and answer as before were etched:
[What is this world?]
[This world is a 'speedrun' game livestream.]
A battle for the authority to interpret the world.
Here, we had won. We had not handed over the world to a mere Alien god.
I placed my hand on Dokseo's shoulder.
"In the cliché of 'Hello, I'm God,' God always grants one wish to a human."
"..."
"Tell that Alien god: [My wish is for you to acknowledge this answer as well]. Since you are the Alien god's priestess, you have the power to push your own interpretation onto the god."
Crackle!
The noise clinging to the Alien god's body intensified. I could sense that it was desperately trying to maintain its existence.
The Alien god reached out and grabbed the tip of Dokseo's foot. Then, as if pleading with her, it parted its lips.
- Danger. Warning.
- The entity known as 'Doctor Jang' is dangerous.
It uttered such words.
Both Dokseo and the saintess hesitated.
In that brief moment of hesitation, the Alien god muttered.
- Doctor Jang is a regressor.
- A regressor is an absolute existence. Except for the regressor themself, no one can realize that this world is being repeated. Thus, the regressor grows into a master of time and causality.
- Doctor Jang is exterminating beings who can recognize their return, beings often referred to as 'Alien gods,' one by one.
- To monopolize time entirely for themselves.
"..."
- If this entity is sealed, one less being will remain that can interfere with the regressor's turn, even in the slightest.
- Granting the regressor absolute control over time. Question. Is that truly the right choice for humanity?
- The one who should be eliminated is not this entity, but Doctor Jang. This entity is an ally.
- Through this entity, I intended to inform humanity, through the one called Dokseo, of the existence of the regressor known as Doctor Jang.
- Doctor Jang calls this entity a 'monster.' Counterquestion. But isn't Doctor Jang the most dangerous monster of all?
"..."
- In fiction, the 'regressor' is often a cliché. This entity is the only one that can obstruct the regressor known as Doctor Jang.
- Warning. If this entity is sealed as well, humanity will have no hope left. The regressor will escape the net of fiction and exist alone.
- Dokseo.
- You must defeat the regressor and become the protagonist yourself.
A silence descended upon the white space.
The main source of the silence was the saintess. Though we didn't speak it aloud, I watched the saintess, and she watched me. We were each other's observers, ensuring that if one of us fell into corruption, the other could immediately eliminate them.
The Alien god had merely tried to sow discord between us. Yet, like all provocations, there was about 10% truth in its words.
But.
I didn't bother to offer any defense or argument. I simply waited for Dokseo's reaction.
There was no way I would suddenly lose trust in Dokseo now, and there was no way Dokseo would doubt me. If either of us wavered at someone else's words, then it wouldn't be trust or friendship at all.
"...Mister."
"Hmm."
"Just to be sure, about sealing that Alien god. There's no reason we have to stick to the 'speedrun game livestream' format, right?"
The girl said such words.
I blinked and tilted my head.
"Well, if there's a better method, there's no reason we can't use it..."
"Yeah."
Dokseo sat down and placed the laptop on her lap. Taptaptap. Her fingers danced across the keys like a lively pianist.
"In that case, I think this is much better than the speedrun broadcast."
Dokseo turned the laptop around to show us.
A newly rewritten answer was etched in large letters on the white screen.
The answer was:
[What is this world?]
[This world is a novel written by Dokseo, telling the story of Doctor Jang.]
Still holding the laptop, Dokseo spoke.
"I'll write your novel, Mister."
[Translator - Jjescus]
[Proofreader - Gun]