The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

Chapter 167



[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

Chapter 167

──────

Traveler II

"Welcome, Doctor Jang."

As I looked at them, they were looking at me.

Sitting in the emergency exit row at the front of the plane, a "Doctor Jang" was glaring at me skeptically.

"Though I don't know which world line's Doctor Jang you are."

"Is this the 107th one now?"

"Adding the companions, it's 214 people in total."

Murmuring filled the cabin.

Hundreds of Doctor Jangs each added a comment or let out a scoff. The plane quickly became noisy.

"Well, if you all are really human, it wouldn't be wrong to use the term 'people.' But what if everyone except me is a monster?"

"Oh. There’s a smart 'me' here. I was just thinking the same thing. Why don’t you set an example by getting exterminated first?"

I started to feel dizzy.

"...Wait a minute. Stop whispering among yourselves and explain it to me. What is this creature? A doppelgänger? The doppelgänger should be inside Cheon Yohwa's Pokéball right now."

"Explain it? Ha. If you don't have a bird brain inside your skull, count the numbers, you idiot."

Doctor Jangs sighed, shrugged, or chomped down on the in-flight peanuts.

"You are the 107th 'me.'"

"Got it? The 107th. Every time 'I' get on this plane, we explain the situation, so we've already explained it dozens of times."

"Even for someone like me, who enjoys every turn and finds it refreshing each time, I don’t look forward to repeating this explanation so many times in such a short period."

"No choice. I, the 106th one, will explain."

Another Doctor Jang, stood up.

Oddly enough, this Doctor Jang was wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat, perhaps deluding himself into thinking he was born on Baker Street in London.

Although they were all the same Doctor Jang, there were subtle differences in detail. Some Doctor Jangs were even wearing animal costumes alongside their companions. What’s your deal?

"We all decided to go on a 'journey with Tang Seorin' for various reasons. 107th, where are you planning to go?"

"...The Uyuni Salt Flats."

"Oh, no."

Sighs were heard from various places. The 106th Doctor Jang, Sherlock, looked at us with eyes full of sympathy.

"Wasn’t there a time when Hayul lost her heart and came back from there?"

"Hah. Did Hayul really die during the 110th turn in your world? Pathetic. I saved her."

"Wasn’t that place where Incan and Aztec myths mixed together to create something horrific?"

"That's the place where humanity's first perpetual motion machine was developed. It automatically refuels with solar energy as long as you offer a human heart."

"......"

Next to me, Tang Seorin gripped my hand tightly. Her palm felt unusually hot.

"...Doctor Jang, what are they talking about? Turns? What do they mean by going on a journey with Hayul?"

"Foolish. Your Doctor Jang, no, all our Doctor Jangs are regressors. The 107th 'me.'"

The Tang Seorin in the front row spoke.

By the way, this Tang Seorin wasn’t wearing a witch's hat or robe. Surprisingly, she was dressed in a "school uniform."

A school uniform? Isn't that the exclusive uniform of our rival, Baekhwa Girls' High School?

Of course, the original Tang Seorin (107th) wasn’t pleased with that outfit.

Tang Seorin looked as if she had spotted a spectator at a military parade in North Korea cosplay.

"Who are you?"

"Tang Seorin. And a cultured person who’s kindly explaining the situation to someone dressed ridiculously."

School Uniform Tang Seorin smiled gently.

"Doctor Jang is a regressor. He’s already repeated hundreds of times. If you are truly 'me,' haven’t you suspected as much?"

"......"

"Now, you're going to turn around and ask Doctor Jang, 'Is this true?' Just like I did. I understand how you feel, but I wish you would consider our position of having to watch it. I’ve already seen that scene 100 times."

At that moment.

Doctor Jang seated in the middle of the plane stood up. Uniquely, this Doctor Jang spoke in honorifics.

"Everyone. One of us has to get off here."

"What?"

"How dense are you? Haven’t you figured it out yet?"

The Honorifics Doctor Jang grinned slyly as he smiled.

"With the last Doctor Jang's entry, the number of people on this plane has been confirmed as 214. Exactly the same as the death toll from the 1997 Flight 801 crash."

"Oh."

"Indeed."

"Haha. Now you realize. Well, late, but not too late. Yes, everyone. If this plane takes off as it is, a tragedy will inevitably occur."

"Oh......"

I was impressed. That guy’s pretty smart.

Though his tone was annoying.

He even shushed us, putting his index finger to his lips. It was creepy. Why was he acting all mysterious?

Watching someone with the same face as mine making such gestures within 10 meters made my blood boil.

"My proposal is this. If we don’t want to recreate the plane crash, at least one person must get off."

"What."

"We don't want to get off."

"Yes. While some of you Tang Seorins may be disappointed that your overseas trip, which you've been eagerly awaiting for two years, will be canceled, it's better than all of us crashing into the Pacific Ocean and dying..."

Boom!

The head of the Honorifics Doctor Jang exploded while he was in the middle of his speech.

Fortunately, there was no need to call Kindaichi or Conan to find the culprit. The "Delinquent Doctor Jang" sitting in the back seat was proudly emitting aura.

"Sorry about that."

The Delinquent Doctor Jang grinned. His scarred eyes crinkled.

"His tone was so annoying I couldn't stand it."

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

All 106 Doctor Jangs gathered there, including me, agreed. It was a perfectly justified motive.

"If I had more time, I would've torn his eyelids apart and told him to open his eyes properly, but whatever. At least this way, we avoided the accident that pompous guy was talking about. I wish you all a happy journey..."

"What are you saying, you murderer!"

But Tang Seorin (the Honorifics Doctor Jang's partner), who monopolized judicial power in Busan, seemed to have a different opinion.

"Die!"

Watson Tang Seorin immediately launched a killing curse.

Thud. The Delinquent Doctor Jang, hit by Avada Kedavra at point-blank range, foamed at the mouth and collapsed. Despite his fierce appearance, his combat ability was pathetic.

"Kyaaa!"

The Gyaru Tang Seorin sitting next to the Delinquent Doctor Jang screamed.

"How dare you kill my Doctor Jang!"

"You killed my Doctor Jang first?"

"Argh! Why did you hit me!"

Boom! Boom boom! Bang!

The cabin instantly turned into chaos. Tang Seorins sang from all sides, and great spells were chanted.

Doctor Jangs, unable to stand by and watch their partners get hurt, joined in the fray, and soon it became difficult to find anything intact on the plane.

Amid the chaos, though, the fuselage remained intact. At the very least, this must be a anomaly of oceanic proportions.

"Doctor Jang!"

In this chaotic world, my witches (and train otaku) companion was the only one acting reasonably and rationally, who shouted.

She was struggling alone, trying to pry open the airplane door.

"This thing won't open! I've cast a triple-layered destruction spell, but it won't budge!"

"Maybe it's for the best that it stays shut. witches, look outside the window."

"The window? Why... Gasp!"

The plane had taken flight without us noticing. There had been no takeoff vibration, no acceleration, yet we were soaring high in the sky. The technical prowess of the anomaly was truly world-class.

The level of their scientific advancement was so high that we weren't just flying in the atmosphere, we were in space. The surface of the moon was clearly visible right below the plane's wing.

"This is space?"

"Yes. Looks like the anomaly confused a plane with a spacecraft. They do look somewhat similar from a distance."

"I... I never imagined a trip to South America would be this dangerous..."

"I didn’t either. This is a first for me."

"Get me out of here!"

"You can’t. Be extra careful not to open any windows or doors by mistake. That’s not real space out there, it’s probably the [Void Space]. And we know what happens in void space: anyone who steps out into it will explode and die."

"Why are all these anomalies like this?!"

While the two of us were experiencing the fantasy of space travel, the rest of the group was enjoying a romance of blood washing away blood.

Blood splattered everywhere. In the aisle of the airplane, the heads of Doctor Jangs and witches rolled about. Hmm. Quite surreal.

- Wait! Everyone, calm down! This is an incredibly inefficient massacre. I don’t know if this is an anomaly from a parallel world or what, but if we work together, we can possibly save the world...

- That’s a fair point, but could you please take off that animal costume while talking?

- Apologies, but this is part of who I am as Doctor Jang. I can’t take it off.

- Kill that furry first!

The brutal variety survival show continued.

In the end, the group of 214 people dwindled down to 102. Most Doctor Jangs and witches with overly "abnormal" appearances were the first to fall.

Among the remaining witches were a school uniform witch, a stuttering glasses-wearing librarian witch, a squinting priestess witch, and a blonde samurai witch with vertical curls.

This was chaos in its purest form.

Although I shouldn’t be the one saying this, traveling with my witch and all, is there not a single normal person left?

I opened my mouth, feeling troubled.

“First of all… let’s all sit down and talk. The furry Doctor Jang may have been dismembered, but they did bring up a valid point: we need to unite.”

- Hmm.

- Hmmm.

“If we join forces, we would be unstoppable. Forget about that old man in charge of the show—we’ll save the world on our own.”

- But if everyone but me is an anomaly, doesn’t that make such a proposition meaningless?

“That’s where my suggestion comes in.”

I smirked confidently.

“If you're not an anomaly, the saintess’ [Clairvoyance] and [Telepathy] should work on you.”

- Oh?

“This is the Void Space. It only looks like space, but we’re probably still hovering above the Korean Peninsula. If telepathy doesn’t work on any of Doctor Jangs here, then that person is an imposter—an anomaly.”

- Makes sense.

- Brilliant plan.

As I nodded in response to Doctor Jangs' admiration, I looked up at the airplane ceiling.

“Now, Saintess? Are you watching? Please respond.”

[Yes.]

“I knew you were watching. Thank goodness. So, please tell me who among us is an imposter...”

It was at that moment.

[Yes.]

[Yes.]

[Yes.]

The saintess’ voice started to "overlap."

“Huh?”

It didn’t stop there.

[Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.]

[I’m looking through everyone now.]

[But it’s hard to tell who’s an imposter. All of my ‘clairvoyance’ is working.]

[Believe it or not, every Doctor Jang and witches present.]

[Seems to be real. Although, I should consider the possibility that I, myself, may have been infected by an anomaly.]

[Doctor Jang?]

[Doctor Jang, why aren’t you responding?]

[Doctor Jang?] [Doctor Jang?] [Doctor Jang?] [Doctor Jang?] [Doctor Jang?] [Doctor Jang?] [Doctor Jang?] [Doctor Jang?] [Doctor Jang?]

"...."

Well.

Yeah.

We’re completely screwed.

‘Wait a second.’

An unsettling thought crossed my mind.

If there were 51 Doctor Jangs and 51 witches, and if there were also 51 saintesses—then, by the same logic, couldn’t there be 51 versions of everyone on this plane?

‘And what about the anomalies?’

Wouldn’t the same reasoning apply?

What if even the anomalies and the forsaken gods had been multiplied by 51 times?

In other words, this wasn’t a "Hey, let’s duplicate all Doctor Jangs!" event. No, there was no way something so beneficial would happen.

It was the exact opposite. This plane itself was a "Alien God Gacha Probability UP Pickup Event."

“....”

- ...

- ...

We, Doctor Jangs, exchanged covert glances with each other.

The tension in the air was palpable. Everyone here must have communicated with their respective "Saintesses" and encountered the same phenomenon I did.

And they must have reached the same conclusion.

‘If, by the time the plane lands, [more than one Doctor Jang] disembarks, and the existence of multiple Doctor Jangs is confirmed on the ground—’

‘Then the anomalies and forsaken gods will multiply just as much!’

‘If all 51 Doctor Jangs remain, then surely 51 versions of the god Koyori will also exist.’

‘This is insane.’

‘Only one Doctor Jang must disembark from this plane.’

That’s right.

From now on, it’s time to (kill me).

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]


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