The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Chapter 64: Do It for The Pies!

I am extremely resilient mentally.

You think such a misadventure would stop me?

Wrong!

I only spend a good half of the day crying like a bitch on the ground.

After that I am fine.

Besides being depressed and listless and wondering if I should go back to sleep for a few months.

This will become a trauma that I will have to carry for the rest of my existence?

Probably.

Even now yesterday's scene is burned into my memory.

BARFFF.

Just when I'm sure this is a new low ... it hits me.

There is something in my life that still has meaning!

My love for Luna? The beautiful friendships? The amazing members of The Unnamed God Sect? All the wonderful places I have yet to explore? Wolfie?

None of that!

I still have pie!

Let it be known! The official staple food of our sect is pie!

The best being creampie of course!

Today I will learn how to bake it myself! This thought is enough to cheer me up.

Time to report to my cooking instructor!

Ensues cooking lessons worth of a hell's kitchen show.

Except I'm the only one cursing.

You'd think baking is relatively easy. Mix the ingredients. Put it together. Put it in the oven. Wait.

Bam over! Delicious pie!

It ain't like that. Cooking is a legit profession in this world. One needs to carefully gather the mana in the meat and meticulously cook it while paying attention to the distribution. There is a lot of chaotic energy in the original ingredients. It can make people sick if consumed. Making it disappear is easy enough. The problem is to actually keep the potency for the final result to have benefits upon consumption. That is the hard part.

That part kinda requires fine control over the mana. *Flips Table*

Rip my dreams of cooking. Rip my dreams of making the best pie there is.

Oh, wait. Haven't I been barbecuing this whole time without giving a fuck about these bullshit rules?

While not comparable, my cooking is relatively tasty nonetheless. Weird. Oh, wait! Could it be that the chaotic mana is tasteless!? That would mean that as long as I am protected by divine energy, I could eat anything without giving a flying fuck!

Hell yeah.

At first, my cooking mentor is surprised by my inability to wield mana at all. Apparently, even element-less mana works in this case. Even that I can't. I just can't.

Where is a book titled Mana Sensing for Dummies when you need it!

Hell, I'm sure I'd make banks writing one. Except.I can't.

What about a Divine Energy for Dummies? Fuck even I myself can't understand that shit.

How does that even make sense? It just doesn't. This world be weird sometimes.

I tell her to teach me anyway.

I concentrate hard on the task at hand. I follow her instructions to the letter!

Burnt.

Burnt.

Burnt.

Not burnt! Also not a pie. *confused*

Slightly burnt pie!

Perfectly fine and proper pie!

Hell yeah! Who's the best!? Who's the most awesome!?

Who baked a pie tasty as. *Barf* a pie!?

Who emptied out all the ingredients with all his failures!?

That would be me to all of it. Yep. All of it haha.

So now I gotta get to shopping it seems.

Let me see.

Acquired coins!

Learned about the general quest location!

Heading towards the market!

Wind direction! There is none! Also irrelevant!

Sword! Bow! Daggers! All at the house, it was encumbering!

Cool-ass black cloak that would put an edgy goth teenager to shame! Check!

As I get there a cacophony of sounds assault my ears.

The haggling with the merchants. The shouting to promote the products. The buzzle of human activity. You get it it's a fucking market.

If you ain't ever seen a marketplace try going outside.

If you rich you can buy plenty of stuff!

If you okay financially you can buy a bit of stuff.

If you broke you can learn how to pickpocket. If anyone asks you didn't read this here.

I am looking for a specific target. My cooking mentor's ingredients pusher.

He sells her all the good stuff for cheap.

Especially that white powder. It takes a lot of flour to bake a pie after all.

Let me see. Hum, what was his description again?

I forgot.

She did give me an ingredient list too so everything should be fine.

Oh well. I rub the iron hilt at my neck. For luck, you know.

I'll pick that random merchant. He looks honest.

Why do I say that?

He's not shouting as much as the others, just letting customers come to him directly.

[Hey there, I need lots of ingredients, everything should be on that list. Can you help?]

He nods, Picks it up. Reads it. He starts signing something. Merchant jargon?

Perhaps.

Yep, I don't understand shit.

[I'm not privy to merchant habits, can you just tell me?]

He looks at me like I'm some kind of idiot. C'mon am I the only one that doesn't understand him?!

I can't be, surely ?!

[What are you saying?]

He shakes his head. Is this some kind of shop with membership?

Is there a secret code I must know to shop here?

I'm confused. *perplexed*

Then intervenes passerby B :

"*sigh* This man is mute."

Oh. that explains a lot.

Guess that's why he ain't shouting much eh.

I hand him over the money pouch directly.

[I need all on that is on the list]

He nods, okay we have an understanding.

So I'm just waiting there. Standing there like a dumbass. Patiently waiting.

This doesn't make much sense. Don't they have a delivery system here?

Can't we just place an order and wait for it?

Then again how do I describe where to bring the products. I don't think there is such a thing as an address here. I vaguely remember the location but that's about it.

Oh well, guess we play the waiting game again!

The waiting game in a bustling market.

This was more fun when I could change the whole scenery with but a thought.

Back in the early chapters.

Suddenly I hear a commotion. Some people are running away. The ones that stay start to get nervous.

What's up? We are in a town right? What could be coming?

Do I stay? Do I run?

AH .my chosen merchant is calmly packing my stuff. Has been and will be for a while.

Whatever is coming my way I will confront it!

For the pies!

*heroic stance*