This World Has Gone Crazy

Lu Yanbin was silent for a moment. He pulled out his cellphone, found the photo and threw it at him. “If you show this expression again, I’ll fuck you right away.”

Yi Hang trembled and looked at him with a blank expression. “What do you want?”

“I’ve asked my friends and they’ve given me a few options. I’ll let you choose.” Lu Yanbin said calmly, "First option, I’ll just fuck you. When it comes to matters of love, do it a few more times and love will blossom.”

“...” Yi Hang refuted, “No way!”

Lu Yanbin nodded and took out a small bottle from the plastic bag, “Second option, I’ll drug you and then fuck you. Then, we’ll get married, and I’ll drug you again once we get home. In a few days, you’ll get used to it.”

Yi Hang, “=口=”

Lu Yanbin stared at him, “What about this?”

Yi Hang shook his head fiercely. “No! Next! “

“The third option, since you deliberately approached me before, embezzled nearly 2 million yuan worth of public funds, you have to pay me with your flesh,” Lu Yanbin looked at him calmly. “When the debt is repaid, you should’ve fallen in love with me. If not, I’ll throw you into prison and fish you out when you think things through."

Yi Hang’s brain was completely blank at the moment from being scared silly. After a long time, he shivered and said, “Those things before have nothing to do with me okay! Why do I have to take the blame? Next... next one... “

Lu Yanbin grunted and took out handcuffs, vibrators, nipple clamps, whips and many other things from the bag and put it on the bed. “The fourth is to abuse you into shaking M. Better yet, make it so that you have Stockholm syndrome and can’t be separated from me ever again.”

Yi Hang was in tears and wanted to kneel for him. Older brother, what kind of magnetic field do you have to attract such friends ah?! How cruel!

Lu Yanbin asked patiently, “What about this?”

“...No!” Yi Hang angrily cried, “If you dare do this, Laozi will jump off a building! Next!”

“Fifth,” Lu Yanbin looked at him. “Is to pursue you and fuck you only after I’ve gotten you.”

Finally, there was a normal option. Yi Hang was moved to death and nodded desperately, “This is the one!”

“Are you sure?”

“Mmm!” Yi Hang nodded again, “I won’t change my mind even if you kill me. This is the one!”

“Alright.” Lu Yanbin put away the pile of things and added, “Then there’s no need to say the sixth option.”

Yi Hang blinked and asked curiously, “What’s option number six?”

“Become friends first, slowly get to know you, then chase after you.”

Yi Hang, “=口=!!!"

Yi Hang cried. This didn’t make sense! How could there be a better option than before?! He hesitated, shuffling closer. He really wanted to change his choice, but didn’t dare to speak.

Lu Yanbin picked up the plastic bag and caressed his head. “Sleep, I’m going out.”

Yi Hang looked surprised. “What are you going to do?”

“The last two options were suggested by the bartender. I didn’t expect it,” said Lu Yanbin. “I’m going out to meet my friends and discuss how to pursue you.”

Yi Hang, “...”

“Good night. I’ll come back soon. Don’t go running about.” Lu Yanbin raised Yi Hang’s chin, planted a kiss on his lips and turned to leave.

Yi Hang stared in a daze for a few seconds and rushed out suddenly, but was one step too late. When he reached the living room, he immediately ran over and clawed at the door. “You can’t ask your friends! Who knows what crazy ideas they’ll come up with!”

Qi Le had a good sleep that night. The next day, he felt refreshed as he stretched and went to wash up. Then, he fed the cat and ate breakfast.

Gu Bai placed his bowl of porridge on the table. It felt as if life had returned to its original track. Although life in their two-bedroom apartment was simple and quiet, it was filled with happiness and warmth.

Qi Le also liked this feeling very much, but couldn’t help sighing, “I hope no nutjobs will come looking for me today. I have to concentrate on studying and have no time to deal with them.”

Gu Bai thought for a second and proposed, “Switch off your cellphone then. You don’t have to work this since it’s your day off. Your older brother also has my number. If something really comes up, he can call me.”

Qi Le paused before replying, “Good idea.” He took out his phone and turned it off. He finally felt at ease and started eating happily. After that, he began his revision. Apart from being occasionally irritated by the unfamiliar concepts and theories, the day passed smoothly, even giving him the illusion that he hadn’t actually transmigrated. He looked at Gu Bai, who was still holding a book in his hands. Although his attitude towards himself wasn’t as good as before and he wasn’t as gentle or easy to talk to, they had lived together for so many years, so even if he was a little cold towards him, he still felt comfortable as long as he was around.

Gu Bai noticed his gaze and looked up. “What’s up?”

Qi Le snapped out of his daze. “Nothing.” He stood up and held the book in his arms, “I’m going to bed.”

“Mmm, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Qi Le gave him one last look before going back to his room and closing the door. He thought that today was a good day. The important thing was whether or not he could accept that. He looked at the computer, rubbed his face, stretched out his hand and clenched his fist as he continued to watch another video. This time, he had better luck. Both videos he watched were rather normal. He patiently “studied” them and found that it was the same few moves after they tossed about in several positions. It wasn’t as shocking as his older brother and brother-in-law, so he switched to another video. Then, he saw the little cutie in the video being tied up and widened his eyes.

Fuck! What is this, SM?!

He sat there in a daze. After watching a quarter of the film, he could bear it no longer. He felt that it was too abnormal. He quickly closed it and patted his little heart, getting ready to sleep. He tidied up and lay down in bed. Suddenly, he realized he had gone the entire day without Ye Shuichuan, Yi Hang, Lu Yanbin, Ning Xiao, Baby Face, the hot-blooded doctor and all those other weird, annoying people. In that moment, he felt the impulse to shed tears.

Damn it! From the time he transmigrated until now, this was his first normal day!

Just as he was thinking that, he suddenly heard a click from the door and was surprised. His first thought was that it was Gu Bai and his second thought was that he might be looking for something. But he waited and felt someone sit down on the bed. Then, the bedside lamp was turned on. At the same time, there was a hand caressing his face. He was too scared to breathe. His first reaction was... Fuck! Did this fella want to tie him up and have a round of SM?!

After a day of being able to see but not touch, Gu Bai wasn’t surprised that he was unable to sleep. He waited for a while until he felt that Xiao Le was asleep. Then, he slipped into his room. In fact, he didn’t know that Qi Le had watched two films plus a quarter of an SM one and had just gone to bed. Gu Bai stared at him for awhile, slowly stroking his face.

Right then, Qi Le’s heart was like a raging ocean. He wondered if Gu Bai was sleepwalking. No way, he didn’t have the habit of sleepwalking, so what was this? He struggled for a moment and was about to open his eyes and ask, but at that moment, he felt something soft on his lips. It was obvious that something was pressing against them.

His mind went blank. Was this... a kiss?!

Gu Bai kissed him and turned off the light afterwards. He slipped under the covers, pulled Qi Le into his arms and slept contentedly.

Qi Le was scared silly and didn’t dare to move at all. His only reaction was... Fuck! He takes back whatever words he said earlier! Ever since he transmigrated, this world has never been normal ah!