Twin Heroes

Chapter 91

Du Jiao Jiao, who was hiding behind the door, smiled when she saw Yan Nan Tian being tricked by Jiang Yu Lang and mumbled, “I knew long ago that Yan Nan Tian will surely be tricked, my guess is correct after all.”

Bai Kai Xin giggled, “This little imp is really quite capable, he put on a damn good act, Yan Nan Tian actually left with him, he’s really been hoodwinked.”

Du Jiao Jiao added with a smile, “Now not only can Yan Nan Tian forget about every finding Xiao Yu’er, I’m afraid he may even lose his life to that father and son.”

Xuanyuan San Guang was in a daze for a moment, and he suddenly pushed the door open, thinking of rushing out. But who would have expected that Du Jiao Jiao would already be waiting behind him. He had just pushed the door open when Du Jiao Jiao sealed five or six of his acupoints with lightning speed, carried him up her shoulder and flew out through the window behind.

Xuanyuan San Guang was shocked and furious, but he can’t even talk. Du Jiao Jiao made her way out of the small town from the back of the house, and although the sky is very bright now, there is no one on the path leading into the mountains. She seemed to be using all her strength and ran up the mountain, and who knows how long she has gone, when suddenly sounds of metal being knocked can be heard in the distance.

Li Da Zui, Ha Ha’er and Du Sha were splitting the mountain. They suddenly saw Du Jiao Jiao and Bai Kai Xin rushing back, as if they were chased by ghosts. The weirdest thing is, Du Jiao Jiao is carrying someone on her back. Li Da Zui and the rest stopped immediately and walked over.

Ha Ha’er looked around and chortled, “I thought who it could be, so it’s Compulsive Gambler who has arrived, haha, well met, well met.”

Li Da Zui laughed, “Compulsive Gambler, we have not met for years, but why is it that you’ve climbed onto Du Jiao Jiao’s back? Don’t tell me Compulsive Gambler has now become Compulsive Lecher?”

Du Sha furrowed his brows and asked, “What is this all about?”

Du Jiao Jiao did not reply first, but threw Xuanyuan San Guang down heavily on the ground, and with this throw, all his acupoints were unsealed. He did not even stand up but has already started laughing loudly, “So you son of turtles are all here. Turtle Hill now has so many sons of turtles here, how apt is the name.”

Bai Kai Xin laughed, “Du Jiao Jiao sealed seven or eight of your acupoints without any reason, and threw you onto the floor like a dog, not only are you not fighting with her, but you’re laughing instead, heh heh, seems that you’re very easy to bully.”

Xuanyuan San Guang is a naturally straightforward person, and to suddenly see so many old friends, he forgot about everything else. But now with Bai Kai Xin’s instigations, he immediately flared up again, jumped up and pointed at Du Jiao Jiao’s nose, “Let me ask you, why did you neither man nor woman son of turtle seal my acupoints, do you really think I can be easily bullied?”

Du Jiao Jiao replied, “Let me ask you, were you thinking of giving a warning just now when you rushed out, telling Yan Nan Tian not to be tricked by Jiang Bie He and his son.”

Once the three words ‘Yan Nan Tian’ was spoken, Li Da Zui, Ha Ha’er and Du Sha paled, and they could not even seem to stand properly.

Du Sha asked hoarsely, “Yan Nan Tian?”

Li Da Zui added, “Could it be that he… he has recovered?”

Du Jiao Jiao replied, “Not only has he recovered, but his martial arts seems to be even better than before. When I saw him, I did not recognize him at first, but once he revealed his martial arts, I knew for certain he is Yan Nan Tian, because besides Yan Nan Tian, no one else in the world has such formidable martial arts.”

Ha Ha’er’s teeth were chattering, not only is he unable to laugh now, he can’t even talk as well.

Bai Kai Xin interrupted, “He has been tricked away by Jiang Bie He and his son, but Compulsive Gambler wanted to get him back.”

Before he could finish his words, Li Da Zui, Du Sha and Ha Ha’er have surrounded Xuanyuan San Guang, the three of them gritting their teeth, their expressions furious. Du Sha stared at him and uttered each word clearly, “What is the meaning of this?”

Xuanyuan San Guang may not be afraid of anyone else, but he is a little fearful of Du Sha. Now that he saw his murderous intent, as if he will kill as soon as he stretch out his arm, Xuanyuan San Guang can’t help but feel his hair rising, so he forced out a smile, “I only want him to kill Jiang Bie He and his son, I have no other intentions. I can’t possibly have wanted Yan Nan Tian to create trouble for you?”

Bai Kai Xin asked, “Let me ask you, if you have not done anything guilty, why did you run upon seeing us?”

Xuanyuan San Guang’s expression changed and said, “This… this…” Bai Kai Xin clapped his hands, “Say it! Why don’t you say it? If this is not guilt, then what is?”

Xuanyuan San Guang jumped up and roared, “I did not dig up your ancestor’s grave, why are you son of turtle always finding trouble for me?”

Bai Kai Xin knew that his goal has been reached, so no matter how much Xuanyuan San Guang scolded him, he refused to talk. Li Da Zui, Ha Ha’er were really furious, and Du Sha looked all the more colder, and asked fiercely, “Did you run away upon seeing them earlier.”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “I, Old Man Ge, that’s right, I did run away.” Xuanyuan San Guang puffed up his chest and said loudly, “But because I have lost all your money!” He had just spoke these words and everyone was startled.

Ha Ha’er interrupted, “Our money? What money?”

Xuanyuan San Guang explained, “All of you know me as Compulsive Gambler, but you do not know that although I like to win, I like to lose as well, because losing is even better than winning, especially if I lose to those poor small-time gamblers. Looking at their ecstatic expression after winning, the joy in that, you son of turtles will never imagine.” He took a breath and continued, “A few months ago I helped a friend send a sum of money to this wealthy man called Duan He Fei in Jiang Nan, and although I enraged Jiang Bie He and his son, but I betted with Duan He Fei on crickets for half a month and won a few hundred thousand from him. With these money, I thought of giving out some.”

Li Da Zui laughed icily, “I did not expect that Compulsive Gambler would become a hero that robs the rich to give to the poor.”

Xuanyuan San Guang continued, “But the more I want to lose, the more the money went against me, and I can’t lose it. One day I happened to be having tea at a teahouse, someone beside me suddenly started playing with dice. I saw it was to my liking, and gambled with those son of turtles.”

Li Da Zui asked, “You won again?”

Xuanyuan San Guang laughed, “Those son of turtles were really lucky, my lady luck happened to walk away. If the other party opened a four points, I still won’t be able to win him, and I actually lost continuously for a few days and nights.”

Bai Kai Xin suddenly interrupted, “Well lost.”

Xuanyuan San Guang continued, “That teahouse was at a small alley, after I lost for three days, the old and young in that alley all won quite a lot from me, except for an old man. Although he goes to the teahouse everyday for tea, saw me losing everyday, but he was never tempted, never willing to gamble as well.”

He smiled and added, “The more he refuses to gamble, the more I want him to gamble. Others said that not only does this old man not gamble, he doesn’t smoke nor drink as well, truly a log of wood indeed. Everyone calls him Li Lao Shi (Lao Shi = honest), and even said that if I can make this Li Lao Shi gamble with me, they will each kow tow to me once.”

Du Jiao Jiao glanced at Li Da Zui and laughed, “I did not expect that there would be such a good person in the Li family, how rare.”

Xuanyuan San Guang continued, “In that alley there’s also a Widow Du, and it seems that the magistrate is almost going to erect a Chastity Memorial Arch for her. Although she has a small stall at the mouth of the alley, but for the past ten years, no one has ever seen her smile, and there’s no one else in her house but for a dog who guards her door.”

Li Da Zui laughed, “I did not expect that there would actually be someone from the Du family who is willing to remain a widow, how rare, what a pity she’s still missing a dog… haha, the best thing about a dog is that it cannot speak.”

Xuanyuan San Guang said, “On the fourth day, I still had thirty thousand taels of silver left, so I pushed all the silver towards Li Laoshi and said, I only have to say one word, and I can let that Widow Du smile, and speak another word, and make her give me a slap. I asked Li Lao Shi if he believes me.”

Ha Ha’er can’t help but ask, “Did he believe you?” Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “Widow Du never smiles, and a man and a woman should keep a respectable distance, so it’s impossible that Widow Du will slap a man. Naturally Li Lao Shi does not believe me, so I made a bet with him. If I lost, I will give him the rest of the silver, but if I win, he only have to gamble with me ten rounds of dice. He looked at the silver in front of him, and stared for more than an hour, but finally betted with me. He may be honest, but if an honest man were to see silver being offered to him, he won’t bear to decline it, because everyone were so sure that I will definitely lose this bet, and there’s not even a chance that I might win.”

Ha Ha’er said, “But you won.”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “As long as I can have a good gamble with him, naturally I must win at all costs.”

Once he heard this, Du Sha can’t help but feel curious, and asked. “How did you win?”

Du Jiao Jiao said, “Just one word that can make a widow smile, and another word to make her angry and slap someone… even I am baffled.”

Li Da Zui and Bai Kai Xin looked at each other and really could not figure out what is the word Xuanyuan San Guang said and why would it have such a huge effect.

Xuanyuan San Guang said nonchalantly, “At noon, that widow opened her fried pancake stall, and the dog is never far away from her, so naturally it’s with her as well. So I walked over, respectfully kow-towed to the dog and said ‘Father’. The widow was stunned and although she wanted to frown, but she can’t help but laugh in the end.”

On hearing this, Li Da Zui and the rest laughed as well.

Xuanyuan San Guang added, “Others saw that with just a word I said, that widow really laughed, and although they were awed and laughing, they still could not imagine how I can make her angry and hit me.”

Du Jiao Jiao laughingly replied, “To tell the truth, even I cannot think of how you can do it.”

Xuanyuan San Guang continued, “I only knelt in front of her and called her ‘Mother’, and her face turned red immediately, even her neck thickened, and she gave me a hard slap before turning around and leaving.” Before he could finish his words, Li Da Zui and the rest were already bending over with laughter.

Xuanyuan San Guang said, “So Li Lao Shi had to play dice with me, but who would have expected that my luck suddenly changed, and I won ten games in a row. His bets were small initially, but later, he became nervous with all the losses, that he used his chamber pots and blankets as bets. After losing for ten games, he has lost everything. I asked him, you don’t even have anything to bet with, how can you continue to gamble? He was stunned for a while, but suddenly gritted his teeth and took me to his house. His house is now empty, but there’s a small building, and in it were a few large chests.”

Du Jiao Jiao asked hoarsely, “Large chests? What kind of large chests?”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “Large black chests, full of dust gathered at the top. Li Lao Shi said that someone else asked him to look after them, and he has never touched them, but now, he couldn’t care less.”

He continued with a laugh, “Once a person becomes anxious from losing, he would even use his wife and son as bets. This Li Lao Shi may be very honest and reliable all his life, but an old house on fire will burn even faster.”

Du Jiao Jiao asked, “He… he really lost all those chests to you?”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “That’s right, but I did not expect that those chests would actually be filled with gold and silver, and all the more did not expect that those chests belonged to all of you. If not for the mark you made on the chests, I will never think that you will actually hand the chests to an old man for safekeeping, haha, this plan is really marvelous.”

He continued with a loud laugh, “Because the money seemed to have dropped into my lap from the sky, and I got a few hundred thousand for nothing, I started gambling in full force. By the time I came here, I’ve lost almost all of it, and the rest I have given it away as wedding gift. Now my pockets are empty, so if you want me to pay up, I don’t have a single cent, but I still have my life!”

Bai Kai Xin, Ha Ha’er, Du Sha, Li Da Zui and Du Jiao Jiao were all stunned, their face ashen, as if someone had just died.

Ha Ha’er said, “So… so Ouyang Ding and Ouyang Dang did not hide the chests at Turtle Hill, but kept it in Li Lao Shi’s house, we were still tricked by them.”

Ha Ha’er suddenly threw away the shovels and hammers that were on the ground, and laughed loudly, “Actually we really should thank this gambler.”

Bai Kai Xin asked, “Thank him?”

Ha Ha’er explained, “If he did not tell us, we’ll still be slaving here, digging holes. Now we can take a rest instead.”

Du Sha said slowly, “Actually what he has said is correct, if not for Xuanyuan San Guang, we will never know where the chests really are, and will end up doing more work, feeling more anxious instead.”

Bai Kai Xin exclaimed, “So this means that, you’re not planning to ask him to pay up?”

Li Da Zui laughed, “He’s already said that he has no money, and he only has his life…”

Bai Kai Xin replied, “But the flesh on his body is not bad, don’t you want to have a taste of it?”

Li Da Zui laughed, “If I eat this gambler up, won’t it be worse? If he starts betting with my intestines and gastric, I’ll suffer from indigestion.”

He stared at Xuanyuan San Guang and continued, “You lost all the money, but did you lose the chests as well?” Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “No.”

Li Da Zui’s eyes shone and asked ecstatically, “Where are the chests!”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “I found the chests too heavy, so I threw all of them into the River Yangzi.”

Li Da Zui and Du Jiao Jiao looked at each other, speechless.

Xuanyuan Sanguang sighed heavily, “Old Man Ge, you son of a turtle likes to eat human flesh, but human flesh is not something that can be bought with money, now that you’ve lost only some money, why are you so upset!”

Li Da Zui sighed, “This you do not understand, the older one gets, the more greedy for wealth he becomes. Although I know that thing can’t be eaten, worn, or carried into my coffin, but I’m still liking it more and more.”

Ha Ha’er added, “That’s right, even if I don’t do anything everyday, as long as I can close my door and count my money, I’ll be very happy.”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “I think you son of turtles are really going into your coffins. If a person likes nothing else but money, then he is already half dead.”

He sighed again, and continued, “But since you like money so much, why don’t you go and steal or rob again, anyway you son of turtles stole and rob those money as well.”

Li Da Zui replied with a straight face, “This you do not know, an evil person also has a reputation to maintain, evil people with a status like us, if we go and kill and plunder again, others will be laughing their heads off.”

Xuanyuan San Guang was stunned for a moment and he suddenly laughed loudly, “I did not expect that you sons of turtles are not even become robbers now, what other use do you have? I think you’d better go drown in your own pee.”

Du Jiao Jiao chided, “What fart! Who dares to say that the ‘Ten Evils’ are useless?”

Xuanyuan San Guang smiled icily, “Twenty years ago, maybe all of you can be considered the ‘Ten Evils’, but after hiding in that turtle hole for twenty years, you can only be considered the ‘Fifty Scaredy Turtles’

Du Jiao Jiao fumed, “Who do you think you are, even twenty years ago, you are not qualified to be part of the ‘Ten Evils’, others only added you in to make up the number.”

Xuanyuan San Guang said, “Since we’re all not really considered ‘evil’, why don’t we do some good deed instead!”

Li Da Zui asked, “What good deed!”

Xuanyuan San Guang pointed at Hua Wu Que who was on the ground and Tie Xin Lan who was in the cage and said, “Why don’t we let these three pitiful things go, so that they can be grateful to us for life.”

Li Da Zui quietly replied, “That’s right, we’ve been hated by others all our life, and to have someone be grateful to us sometimes, is not a bad thing.”

Xuanyuan San Guang asked, “Big Brother Du, what do you think?”

Du Sha said icily, “Anyway these three are not far from death’s door, it won’t be interesting for me to kill them.”

Bai Kai Xin rolled his eyes and said suddenly, “Since you want to become good guys, then you might as well do good all the way.”

Ha Ha’er laughed loudly, “Haha, can ‘Harming others without benefit to oneself’ do good deeds as well?”

Bai Kai Xin replied, “I have been doing bad things all my life, now I would like a taste of what doing good deeds is like as well, or else I’ll have a hard time accounting to the King of Hell after I’m dead.”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “What tricks are you son of turtle up to?” With his back towards Hua Wu Que and Tie Xin Lan, Bai Kai Xin grinned, “The two of them has always been ‘I love you, you love me’ for so many years, it’s just that there’s Xiao Yu’er in the middle. Now that Xiao Yu’er has kicked the bucket, why don’t we just let this two become husband and wife, haha, and let lovers finally unite, isn’t that the best good deed.”

Ha Ha’er clapped and laughed, “Not bad, we have been hiding for so many years, now we can have a wedding for them and liven things up, it’s a joyous matter as well.”

Li Da Zui laughed, “I have not attended a wedding for more than twenty years, this must be really interesting.”

Du Jiao Jiao pointed at Bai Kai Xin and laughed, “I knew you were up to no good, you’re really doing things that harm others without benefit to yourself.”

Bai Kai Xin replied, “Being a matchmaker, is the greatest good deed. If the King of Hell were to find out, he’ll have to increase my lifespan, so why do you say it’s not a good thing?” Du Jiao Jiao laughed, “You obviously know that the two of them are very sad now, but you want them to marry now, isn’t it even worse than killing them.”

Bai Kai Xin blinked, “Even if they are very sad now, but after having a taste of that marvelous sensation after marriage, I guarantee that they will never be sad again.”

Li Da Zui replied, “Good words really cannot come out of a dog’s mouth.”

Du Jiao Jiao laughed, “This is called ‘a dog can’t change it’s habits of eating shit’, a bad egg will never become a good man.”

Ha Ha’er said, “I don’t care what you say, anyway these two will have to get married, haha, and I want to personally help them change into their red wedding robes, and personally pour their conjugal wine for them.”

Li Da Zui took a glance at Madam Bai and suddenly laughed, “Since there is a female worm here, we might as well find her a husband too.”

Ha Ha’er took a look at Madam Bai, and took another look at Bai Kai Xin, and chortled, “Not bad, not bad, these two are a match made in heaven.”

Du Jiao Jiao giggled, “It seems that this lady is in luck, and she’s really fated with those surnamed Bai, no matter who she marries, it’s still the Bai family name, she doesn’t even have to change her name.”

Bai Kai Xin is already shouting, “You… you…” As he spoke, he was already trying to slip away.

But Du Jiao Jiao, Li Da Zui have already sandwiched him between them.

Du Jiao Jiao smiled, “This is a very joyous matter, why are you thinking of fleeing?”

Li Da Zui added, “You can’t flee even if you want to.”

Ever since Xuanyuan San Guang heard the words ‘Xiao Yu’er has kicked the bucket’, he remained silent. Now he rolled his eyes as well, and suddenly said, “I know of two other people who are getting married, since it’s a joyous occasion, why don’t everyone do it together, it’s save money, and there’ll be a crowd.”

Du Jiao Jiao asked, “You’re referring to that little lass Murong Jiu and your tanned friend?” Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “That’s right.”

Li Da Zui chortled, “Why would the Murong family have a wedding celebration done together with us, this gambler is crazy.”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “Why do we need to discuss with them. On that day, we’ll just squeeze into the wedding hall, place the three couples together and enjoy their wedding feast. Can they possibly make a scene with us on their big day?”

Ha Ha’er clapped and laughed, “Excellent idea, excellent idea, haha, we’ll just force our way in.”

Li Da Zui said, “I really hope that one of the dishes at the feast will be made from human flesh, then you can have your delicacies, and I can have my human flesh, that will truly be happiness for all.”

Bai Kai Xin suddenly said icily, “I only hope that Yan Nan Tian will go to the wedding on that day as well.”

Once he said those words, everyone can’t seem to laugh anymore.

Xuanyuan San Guang said, “Yan Nan Tian will never go there for the wedding.”

Bai Kai Xin asked coldly, “How do you know? You’re not a worm in his stomach.”

Xuanyuan San Guang ignored him and continued, “Yan Nan Tian is intent on looking for Xiao Yu’er now, he won’t have the time to attend weddings.”

Bai Kai Xin replied, “Don’t you forget, one will go to somewhere with a lot of people when looking for a person, and a wedding is the most crowded. If I am Yan Nan Tian, I’ll join in the festivities as well.”

Xuanyuan San Guang rebutted, “Don’t you son of turtle forget as well, who is the one leading the way for Yan Nan Tian now.”

Bai Kai Xin was stunned, and did not speak.

Du Jiao Jiao laughed, “Now that Jiang Yu Lang is leading Yan Nan Tian around, not only will Jiang Yu Lang never take Yan Nan Tian to the Murong family, he will not take Yan Nan Tian to any crowded places, because he’s afraid that others will spoil his ploy.”

Bai Kai Xin replied, “So this means that, the more crowded a place is, the safer it is.”

Xuanyuan San Guang replied, “The safest place, will be where those ladies from the Murong family stays.” Du Jiao Jiao smiled and commented, “That’s right, I did not expect that this gambler would become so smart now.”

Ha Ha’er jumped up, “Since that is the case, what are we waiting for, let’s go quickly. Haha, I’ve always loved a crowd, the more people the better.”