You Boys Play Games Very Well

65-66: That’s How We Boys Make Our Mother-in-Law Open Up Her Mind

Chapter 65

The first thing Ling Meng did after he woke up was lay in bed and brush his phone. In just one day, a lot of news had come out in the Galaxy circle:

A male anchor caught cheating on his girlfriend, was actually caught in the act on stream;

Pro League first day blowout, veteran powerhouse loses to dark horse newcomer;

Exposure of Xiang God’s small account Guava, the mystery of the identity of Lemon Dad’s male fanatic;

VEGETABLE manager explosively reveals Captain Yam and Mang God are relatives;

On Yam’s Weibo, a group of people vented their anger over the loss on the captain. It was just a regular season loss but the negative feedback was calling for him to retire or be demoted to a substitute player. Foul comments about making him a water boy could be seen all over the place. Ling Meng saw red and quarreled with some of the sunspots. When he noticed the arms around him move, he looked back and found Shan Zhu gazing at him tenderly with a pair of sleepy eyes.

“When did you wake up?”

Shan Zhu ignored the question: “Don’t argue with them. There’s no point.”

“But what they said about your didi went too far. The loss wasn’t all his fault.”

“He should be prepared to face these criticisms as a pro and, when he wins a match, it’s these same people who blow him.”

Shan Zhu confiscated his phone. The primitive driver of his morning male sex urge once again combined with his emotional tenderness and because of this mental and physical lust, he dragged Ling Meng with him into the shower.

The hotel where they stayed was not far from the VEGETABLE training base, so the two people checked out and dropped by to visit Shan Yao. After digesting the news overnight, VEGETABLE’s players were no longer shocked by the presence of Mang God.

With a hangover, Shan Yao was still in a subdued state. After learning he mistook Ling Meng for his cousin (tangge) while drunk and held him while bitterly crying, he apologized to Ling Meng with great embarrassment.

“It’s nothing. I heard about you from Shan Zhu. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, I really think you played super hard.”

He thought it over again: “And just ignore those sunspots. Besides, I saw a lot of powder that support you helping to speak out for you. I’ve been subjected to more abuse than you previously and no one helped me – I was fighting alone and aren’t I still alive now?”

Shan Yao was amused: “Of course, you’re the Daddy who was singled out by the whole national ranking list.”

“If you praise him anymore, he’ll have an inflated ego,” Shan Zhu interrupted.

“Ge also frequently blows him while streaming, why would my blowing push him to the point of death? Because it’s not really during a broadcast?”

Ling Meng thought pro players disdained watching their amateur counterparts stream, but he had been watched by two great teams without even knowing it. Even FRUIT’s coach had jokingly taunted him with the words “Lemon Daddy”, making him want to dig a three-foot hole for himself.

He pushed Shan Zhu out of the room on the grounds that Shan Yao needed rest, then turned around and stopped him from muttering to himself.

“Ah, when you grabbed me yesterday and cried…..maybe because you’re a lot like Shan Zhu, it was easy for me to substitute him for you. Honestly, I was very sad at that time.”

Ling Meng scratched his head, regretting the tone of his words. Opening his mouth 500 times to give hospice care didn’t prepare him for this; when he needed to comfort others, he didn’t know what to say.

“Although you’re not him, there must be someone like me for you, who sees your disappointment and sorrow about the game and is going to be more sad than you…..”

Shan Yao was stunned for a moment and then realized what Ling Meng meant.

“I know. I’m not disappoint anyone who cares about me again.”

Ling Meng could see his meaning had been conveyed and was relieved.

“Hey, hey, for the team matches and the individual competitions later on, jiayou!”

He turned to go and heard a phrase coming from behind, “Thank you, sister-in-law.”

Ling Meng staggered, almost tripping on his own heel.

“Hey…..”

“I’ve known from the beginning it wasn’t just an act for the stream.”

“Ah?”

“My Ge is not the type of anchor that would sell rot just for the sake of powder.” Shan Yao’s pride in talking about his Ge was overflowing, “That time he posted on Weibo, I figured it was about you. I asked him and he gave in, but he said you were a straight man.”

Ling Meng said with a queasy stomach: “I really am upright and straightforward…..”

(t/n: straight man, slang, and upright and straightforward share one character; Ling Meng is trying to defend himself that he’s still straight while changing the meaning of the word)

“Sexual orientation doesn’t matter, all that’s important is who you like.”

Such a philosophical remark, so Ling Meng decided to advise him as an elder brother: “Can you promise me that later on you’ll concentrate on training and watch less Porn Anchor streams?”

Shan Yao made the sweeping declaration, brimming with fighting spirit. “Don’t worry, us boys are very good at playing games.”

Ling Meng: …..Talk about a troublesome family!

Chapter 66

Ling Meng had opened the door to surrogate driving; under the operation of Shan Zhu’s 350APM, Ling Meng found that there was something more interesting in the world than playing games. The two people messed around exhausting each other for several days. Then summer quickly followed and the graduating senior Shan Zhu was asked to leave school early and Ling Meng was dragged back into going home.

Ling Meng missed the food of his hometown and also missed his mother, but he didn’t miss the traffic here. The virtue of north Hebei’s courtesy to pedestrians had made him accustomed to being a crab spirit, walking sideways on all the streets. As a result, it wasn’t long after he got off the train that a bus nearly ran over his luggage cart.

“I almost got hit!” On WeChat, Ling Meng was voice chatting with Shan Zhu. He loudly complained, “The bus drivers over here are driving the bus like a F1 racing car!”

“You be careful,” Shan Zhu had no way to grab him, “Don’t look at your phone when you walk.”

“I want you to see where I grew up.” Ling Meng sent a picture every few minutes, “This was my senior high school, this was my junior high school, this was my primary school, this is where I played around innocently when I was a child…..”

Just like this, Shan Zhu visited the history of Ling Meng’s childhood until an aged-looking residential building appeared in the picture.

Ling Meng was pleased to announce, “This is my house!”

“Get home and have a good rest.”

“I smell the scent of my ma’s cooking!”

“Which floor do you live on?”

“The 6th floor!”

Shan Zhu: …..dog nose.

Ling Meng dragged his luggage and panted his way up six floors. It took a week to finally get home during summer vacation so as soon as he entered the house, he was scolded by the Lemon Ma.

“My son has grown up and didn’t come home after the exams.”

Ling Meng took out all the prepared gifts and showed filial piety to her, coaxing her to smile.

“I’ve really grown up and know to bring my mama a present.”

Ling Meng was sorry to say the presents were actually bought by Shan Zhu, he was just in charge of carrying his human flesh home, so he ambiguously said: “These were sent by a friend of mine. I told them which one you liked and they said they’d buy it for you.”

“Why would your friend send me something, do you have a girlfriend?”

Ling Meng: …..

Ma, how are you so sharp?!

“Not a girlfriend but a boyfriend?”

Ling Meng: =口=!!

Lemon Ma meant it as a joke but she couldn’t laugh when she saw Ling Meng’s expression: “I know you’ve been shy when meeting girls since you were young, but you found a boy just because of that?”

“No, it’s nothing….no, it’s related to that. I blush when I talk to girls, how can I fall in love with someone?” Ling Meng made an excuse for himself that sounded more logical.

“Nonsense, isn’t it because you like them that you blush?”

“I….I blush when I see him sometimes.”

Lemon Ma saw the tendency of Ling Meng to not even have face for this person. How resilient was her son? He had insisted on doing one thing for a long time since he was young and the more his family objected, the more persistent he was.

Lemon Ma realized the seriousness of this: “Where is he? I want to see him.”

Seeing his mama’s resolute attitude, Ling Meng had to tentatively comment on Shan Zhu. Without reservation, the Shan Zhu who was summoned booked a ticket for the next day and flew over. Although they would see each other in a few days, the nervous Ling Meng couldn’t be happy.

“Wait, you mustn’t talk nonsense.”

Shan Zhu patted his head: “Us boys are most able to make our mother-in-law have an open mind (be happy).”

“Fuck your mother-in-law!” Ling Meng angrily nudged him with an elbow.

“Don’t talk nonsense, the generations are all messed up.”

Shan Zhu went into the house, bowing first and then saying hello and introducing himself. He then looked around. “Is auntie not at home?”

Ling Meng was puzzled: “This is my ma.”

Shan Zhu affected a look of surprise: “This is auntie? So young, I thought this was your jiejie.”

Ling Meng: …..what a performance!

Lemon Ma surprisingly actually ate this act up. She had a friendly attitude and was also concerned about his fatigue from the long journey and the hardship it had caused him.

Ling Meng whispered: “Don’t ask people to come if you’re afraid of hardship?”

Shan Zhu: “No hardship, it was my turn to come.”

Lemon Ma shot him a glare: “What’s wrong with you?”

Ling Meng: …..

Deep affection for the adopted son that just entered the door three minutes ago and now there’s no such thing as her own son?!

Shan Zhu had a very impressive appearance, even Lemon Pa boasted about him: “The you ng man looks really good.”

“He feeds himself with his face.” Ling Meng quickly blew him.

Lemon Ma was stunned: “Actor? Model?”

“Auntie, don’t listen to his nonsense. I just graduated. I previously did part-time work as a teaching commentator online and my main business in the future is also going to be work in this area.”

So a game anchor can still be explained like that? Ling Meng learned a new skill.

Shan Zhu took a moment to explain to the two parents in detail what an internet anchor was; after all, streaming games online didn’t seem like a serious job in the eyes of the previous generation. In order to be more convincing, he even brought his platform contract. Ling Meng thought that if he had any more real estate certificates, he could have made an offer of marriage on the spot.

“You mean my MengMeng is doing this too?”

“Yes, it’s just that he’s as amateurish as I used to be, it won’t affect his academics.”

Ling Meng added, “Don’t you always send my expression pack, it was captured by netizens from my live broadcasts.”

“You look good so someone like me understands, but is anyone really going to watch MengMeng as an anchor?”

“Have a little faith in your son, Ma!”

Lemon Pa criticized her too: “My son looks like you, how can nobody want to look at him?”

Shan Zhu watched this family’s interaction and kind of understood how Ling Meng’s optimistic personality came about.

Lemon Ma asked Ling Meng in a low voice about the contract: “Is that true? The amount there is so big, it isn’t a forgery, right?”

“Of course it’s true, popular anchors are worth the price.”

“What about you?”

“….I, your son, am not worth it yet.”

“It’s good that young people are financially capable, but that doesn’t constitute a condition for consideration. If your mother was looking for someone who looked well on money, why not marry you to Jack Ma?”

Ling Meng: →_→

“MengMeng also is a person who is very indifferent to money; I used to give him presents and he would transfer the money back to me with a red envelope. It’s clear uncle and auntie’s teachings were very good.”

Ling Meng: …..Blow! Then you just blow!

The captain of Ning Blowing, Shan Zhu, enacted his skill of Ning blowing, blowing Ling Meng half the time, blowing Lemon Ma and Lemon Pa half the time, and occasionally humbly discussing himself. After the conversation, even the blind Ling Meng could see his parents were satisfied with Shan Zhu, practically coerced into starting to call him adopted son.

“Came early in the morning and got hungry, ba? Come shopping with your auntie, I’ll come back and cook for you.”

“Ma, didn’t you say just find a restaurant outside and specifically not to buy food?”

“How can the food out there be clean? By the way, you go make up the sofa bed in the study.”

“Ma, didn’t you just say to let him find a place to live outside? I already book the hotel.”

“How can the family let our people sleep in a hotel? Hurry up and go away. It’s so convenient to stay at home, the sofa bed is a little smaller but it can be used to sleep well. Go on, go quickly!”

Ling Meng was driven away to make the bed for Shan Zhu. When he finished, he found that Shan Zhu had been pulled into the family’s three-person group chat and he was sending Ling Meng’s mother a new batch of expression packs at the moment.

Clearly the big life problem had been solved, but how should he deal with the sudden feeling of no love? It was like a weather forecast tracker for a typhoon that ended in the typhoon turning while swirling and twisting, chanting out: Is it not thrilling? Is it not stimulating?

While Lemon Ma was focused on the expression pack, Shan Zhu snuck a look of love towards Ling Meng, as if to say: What do you think? That’s how we boys make our mother-in-law open up her mind.

Ling Meng: Fuck your sister!

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Footnotes:

1. sunspot (黑子): literally black mole; internet slang for netizens who blacken famous people online

2. saozi (嫂子): sister-in-law, specifically older brother’s wife

3. auntie (阿姨): term used by someone younger to address a woman of a similar age to his mother

4. Jack Ma: 54 year old Chinese business magnate, co-founder of Alibaba

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Auntie and Uncle are all ready to bring Shan Zhu into the family ^_^