Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

Episode 326 If only it were possible (12)

“In the end, you can’t do anything….”

[It doesn’t mean you can’t do anything, it means you shouldn’t do anything.]

After So Seong-ju left, I ignored the anger and thought about the remaining suggestions as always . . Looking back, it certainly wasn’t a bad offer.

No, on the contrary, it is the best option for me. In this world of class society, it is difficult to feel uncomfortable in daily life with Soseongju standing in the background.

At the very least, it would be a problem if the lord of the castle, who can suppress the authority of the lord of Soseong, rebelled, but seeing as the lord of Soseong is in charge of most of the work, that is unlikely.

Unless he trusted the Lord of Soseong or lost power to him, could the Lord of Seong have entrusted everything to him?

However, it doesn’t seem like anything is wrong with Seongju’s life. If Seongju had been injured or died, there would have been some sense of awareness, but since Soseongju had no such feeling at all.

So in this case, the governor of Seongju would have tacitly accepted my presence. That’s why Soseongju is so confident.

‘The only problem is that I don’t know what I’ll do when I stay here…’

Actually, I’m not too worried about this either. This is because since I use Faust’s body, I don’t think the owner of the small castle will pamper me too much.

Even if you were to entrust the task to others, wouldn’t it be as difficult as catching the Great Devil? At most, it would be about patrolling a demon station or subduing a few demons that appear.

Just like existing articles.

‘Is that pretty…?’

It bothered me a little that my staying might be a nuisance, but he said he was okay with that.

So, if I only think about my situation, staying here is the best option. This is especially true considering that I do not need to catch Satan to return home.

If I stay here, I don’t have to fight any more, go through the hardships of homelessness, or suffer from anything.

My mind began to struggle as if possessed.

“Hmm.”

Actually, I was thinking about stopping by Daesimrim afterward. The Grand Forest has also been really good to me… But in terms of convenience, this city is… No, but I have to pay back the debt I owe there too…

And the hero and his party are also a bit concerned about it. Of course, my staying here is not an act of betraying them… but if I leave, the Inquisitor will suffer… and the Archmage…

and the Meister followed me here to deliver a request to me. ? I don’t know if he will continue to travel with the hero’s group, but if he does, it would be morally problematic… And in addition to the Meister, Berserk…

“Ah. “Berserk.”

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Berserk even once since I came here. I felt a little sorry for the empty seat that I only now realized.

“I have to apologize for breaking the axe…”

I groaned, remembering the weapon I had smashed on her.

Should I ask Lord Soseong later if he has a good halberd? Or maybe even ask me to introduce you to a blacksmith.

I think I can make things in order if I just spend all the money I have…

“…I don’t know.”

I suddenly stopped thinking. This is because it was difficult to come to a conclusion about my future and apologize for Berserk right away.

Of course, in the case of Berserk, you can find it quickly if you ask around. When apologizing for a mistake, it is best not to waste time.

But no matter what, I don’t want to just say sorry empty-handed. It wasn’t a small thing, but the feeling was even greater as the weapon was destroyed.

After all, it is right to apologize for something.

‘Because the Archmage and the Minor Castle Lord both told me to stay here…’

What’s more, today those two people left with the nuanced words, ‘Don’t think about going anywhere, just stay here.’ Not one, but both.

So what can you do? I decided to stay quietly in my room for just one day. I believe that my future self will do the rest.

“…I’m bored.”

[It hasn’t even been 10 minutes since you said you would take a break.]

Still, being bored is just being boring. I got up from the sofa and wandered around the room. It was to find something interesting to have fun with.

“I don’t have any more books to read…”

If it were Earth, ‘Oh, references.’ I would keep it in my head while doing it, but right now I don’t have any reason or passion to do so.

“hmm.”

Does that mean you have to redraw the picture?

Perhaps because I stopped doing it earlier, it was a bit difficult to pick up the pen again. It’s not that I don’t like drawing, but I just don’t have the energy to put my mind to it and hold a pen… If I were to compare it, it would be like ‘I’m tired of drawing.’ It was the fate of a painter without deadlines.

“Mmm.”

Recording my emotions doesn’t appeal to me yet. I want to do more of that… after I have more free time. I don’t want to do it now because I feel like I’ll get emotional again.

“Oh, I really don’t know….”

I gasped.

In the end, I laid down in bed without being able to choose between one or the other. The texture of the warm bed sheets was soft and cool.

[Are you going to sleep again?]

I don’t really want to sleep. I just want to lie in bed.

I fell face down on the bed and just turned my head. I had trouble breathing and my throat felt uncomfortable. As is the case with most prone positions.

“Is it really okay for me to stay like this?…”

And a part of my heart became anxious again. Is this really okay? In some ways, it might have been a feeling of helplessness.

[Dear Gretchen.]

No, if you look a little closer, it’s not actually anxiety or helplessness…

[I’ve never been confident that I can understand you, but now I don’t understand it even more. Why do you feel the compulsion when everyone is telling you to rest?]

I buried my head a little in the blanket. It’s a little difficult to breathe, but I feel comfortable. I pressed myself into that oppressive calm.

[Do you still want to prove that you are worthy as a human being? Are you so scared of the part of your humanity you’ve lost that you become obsessed with the handful that’s left? If I show kindness to others, I still feel like I’m still human?]

Ah, but I think being suffocated is still painful.

[Foolish Gretchen….]

Is there no bed that provides soft comfort and smooth breathing? I’m too embarrassed to show it to the world, so I want to hide it under a blanket, but does that mean I’m bound to suffocate?

I really hate having trouble breathing.

[It would be easier if you let go of your conscience, but you always take the easy path and always try to go back.]

I crouched down while listening to the words of a being without conscience, shame, or humanity. Although his words had no meaning, it was true that the hidden truth had been discovered, so there was nothing he could do.

I crumpled as much as I could, like a wounded animal would. The sadness that had not yet been resolved began to creep into the place where I had vomited my anger.

Ah, I want to smoke.

* * *

Plump plump.

I don’t know when I fell asleep. I hurriedly lifted my eyelids at the harsh knocking sound.

Bump, bump, bump.

In that moment, the knocking sound became harsher. As if to show my temper, I raised my upper body to the sound of a fast, steady beat. My hand is reflexively combing my messy hair.

“…Who are you?”

Ah, my voice was locked. I escaped from the bed, recognizing the endlessly downtrodden voice. “Oh, it’s me.” A familiar voice came from outside the door.

“…Meister?”

Why did the Meister come again? I roughly straightened my wrinkled clothes and opened the door slightly.

“Well… hello.”

“…are you here too?”

I saw Meister and Daniel waiting outside the room. It was hard to see because it was dark, but there was a trolley holding something behind them.

“What, have you been sleeping until now?”

“…Is there a problem?”

“Are you sure? “I was just asking.”

“Well… if you’re tired, I’ll come see you next time.”

At first glance, it looked like food and drinks… Feeling a bit dazed, I opened the door further.

“Come in.”

I don’t know why he came here, but if he came packing something after dark, there must be a good reason. I led them into the familiar room.

“The room is nice.”

“Let me turn on some lights.”

fire? I slowly blinked at Daniel’s words and then pointed to the candles around me with my finger. As soon as he lifted his finger, demonic energy gathered on the wick of the candle and created a flame.

Sasasasak. Like a wildfire spreading, candles lit by rain trees illuminated the room.

“It’s a dog place.”

“…That’s amazing.”

…How did they do this? I reflexively stared at my fingers at what I had done. How did you really do it?

[…You seemed uncomfortable whining yesterday, so I told you. Don’t you remember?]

Inside, Anger said something as if it was pitiful. Then I remembered.

I couldn’t sleep last night so I was awake all morning. He lit the candles one by one and got angry, telling them not to act like a fool and asking if they wanted to make some soup and eat it. Thanks to you, I learned these tips.

“I heard you haven’t seen a single thing in your nose for four days. Are you studying this in your room?”

At that point, something else that I wasn’t aware of also came to mind. More precisely, it was clearly recognized by Meister’s words.

“…It’s already been four days.”

“okay.”

I knew that time was passing. But I didn’t have anything to do and I kept having strange thoughts, so I just slept, ate, zoned out, slept, ate, and zoned out over and over again, and I didn’t know exactly how much time had passed…

I pulled back the curtains and opened the window. I looked around the room, where the cool night air was stuffy, and left.

“How long have you been without ventilation? Why is the air outside, filled with the smell of corpses, better than inside the room?”

“The level of Meister’s remarks…”

“Hey, I also ventilate.”

I quietly listened to their conversation and dragged another chair that was stuck in the corner towards the fireplace.

“well. “Even though I live with ventilation, the smell of oil and metal is strong.”

“Sigh.”

One stool I just picked up to add to the two existing single-seater sofas. The gap between the sofa and the stool is too big, but there are no other chairs.

I stared at Daniel, who was suppressing laughter, and Meister, who was glaring at me, wondering which of the three of us would be sitting in the uncomfortable seat.

“There’s no window in your workshop to begin with.”

“There is a vent. So, I’m always ventilating.”

“It’s absurd logic.”

“I don’t know why this is such absurd logic.”

“It’s okay if you don’t know. I think one more person will have to sit uncomfortably—”

“I’m on the sofa.”

“My conscience is dead.”

Meister, who had been bluntly complaining about the existence of the vent, quickly grabbed the sofa. I’ll take a comfortable seat and one of you two bastards will die. His purple eyes are shamelessly shouting like that.

“…I will sit there.”

“done. “You sit on the sofa.”

I guess I’ll end up sitting down. I kicked Daniel out on the sofa, saying he wanted to sit on the stool, and then slowly inquired about his business.

“So why did you come?”

Grumble. Meister is moving the trolley they dragged near the sofa.

“Oh, it’s nothing special. Let’s have a drink.”

A large jar popped out of the trolley that stopped next to the sofa.

“…? alcohol?”

Of course, it wasn’t the fat jar used for making soybean paste. If I had to describe it, it was shaped like an elongated gourd with a handle. The only thing that was unique was that it was as long as the upper body of an adult.

“…It’s so absurd that I can’t even speak.”

Since I brought food and drinks, I expected that we would get settled in while we ate and talked. But what now? Want to have some drinks? Meister is truly a human being beyond imagination.

“What are you doing?”

“Well. sorry.”

The most surprising thing is that Daniel is caught up in Meister’s crazy actions. I looked at Daniel like Caesar betrayed by Brutus.

The gray-haired Heretic Questioner also seemed to realize the absurdity of this situation, and was continuously brushing his hair with a puzzled expression.

“…There are many things I want to ask, but let me ask the most important thing first. “Is this an act that cannot be reprimanded?”

done. They must be like this for some reason.

Instead of looking for a reason for action, I first asked about the possibility. No one will say anything about whether I drink or smoke late at night, but they know that their positions are different.

“doesn’t exist.”

“This morning, additional reinforcements arrived, giving us some time to spare. “I have asked permission from Lord Soseong in advance, so I don’t think there will be any problems later.”

So Seong-ju allowed Faust to drink alcohol? Even though I thought something was strange, I quickly understood it. The adult standard here is lower than on Earth, and the drinking age is much younger.

“is it.”

Separately, even if the Lord of Soseong gave permission, problems still remain.

“That’s good, but… I don’t really like alcohol. “I don’t mind having a drinking party, but I hope you’ll refrain from offering me a drink.”

I don’t drink alcohol.

“okay? why?”

“I have bad memories.”

I didn’t really like alcohol to begin with, but a senior in college had a history of making me drink alcohol until I vomited, so I guess I’m a bit reluctant to drink alcohol.

“…I see.”

“I see. Damn it sucks.”

“…Why did you suddenly bring alcohol in the first place?”

It’s not like it suddenly came without a reason, but I really don’t know why it came out of nowhere. Meister pierced his ears in response to my absurd question.

“I want to talk about my honest feelings.”

“…??”

“…Isn’t alcohol inherently helpful in relieving stress if used appropriately? So, I thought that drinking alcohol in moderation might also be helpful to the Lord.”

Was Daniel actually brought in to be Meister’s interpreter?

I grabbed the water bottle while watching the person explain it to me before I could even think about interpreting it. They didn’t bring it, but it’s a water bottle that the servants brought here for you to drink at any time.

“It’s a pretty good idea. “It’s a shame I don’t drink.”

“There’s nothing I can do about not eating. “At least pick up some snacks and eat them.”

Gulp. Whether I drank or not, the meister holding the jar filled my glass with alcohol. The metal drinking cup has elaborate workmanship, proving that Soseongju’s permission was not just words.

“Oh, or should I boil this for you?”

“…A decent drink?”

“It’s true that I shared a lab with fellow wizards, but if you boil alcohol in an enclosed space, you get drunk even if you don’t drink it.”

…The vaporized alcohol will be absorbed through the respiratory tract, so of course you will get drunk.

The expressions of me, who knew the principle, and Daniel, who did not know the principle but knew how strange this research was, turned sour one after another.

“…Why on earth did you think of boiling alcohol in an enclosed space?”

“Do I understand? “He knows.”

Crazy wizards. As I gulped down the water from the bucket, I felt once again the madness of the wizards. I promised myself again that I would never get involved.