Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

Episode 329 If only I could (15)

“Let’s die. Rather than living a painful life like this, let’s die and feel better.”

* * *

Pogrrr. Did the dark blue waterway, reflecting the night, swallow up all sight? The moonlight seeping through the surface of the water dimly illuminated the boy’s breath.

Sigh!

But that didn’t last long either. The rough current ran down and down, wrapping around the boy’s body. Since I had not eaten anything properly, my skinny body began to be pushed around by the strong water.

[It’s a useless struggle.]

Quad dud dud. My ears instantly went blank. It seemed noisy, but it also felt like I couldn’t hear anything.

The boy instinctively struggled with his limbs from the cold. Pow! The body was stamped on the rock next.

[Do you think you can die?]

It hurts. The boy thought as his consciousness gradually faded. Death was colder and more painful than expected.

[Foolishly…]

But you have to hold on. The boy forcibly endured the pebbles and stones at the bottom of the stream hitting and scratching his body.

[You cannot die.]

And when the body, which had not been able to breathe for a long time, entered a trance, the sound of giggling clearly pierced my ears.

[Never.]

It was absolutely terrible.

* * *

“But I couldn’t do that.”

* * *

“Ah.”

At some point, the boy felt that he was alive. He realized that the pitch-black demon energy had finally brought him to this land.

“iced coffee…!”

He cannot die. The boy screamed desperately as he saw the burnt-out village by the river.

* * *

「I couldn’t die.」

* * *

[Ah… I was taken away again.]

The devil that entered his body was a truly cruel being.

[How about finishing what you ate first? Even if there is no nutrient intake, survival is not affected, but growth is another matter. [You have to eat something to become an adult.]

This was especially true at the time when the village, which had at least 20 houses, was burned down and the food the boy needed to eat and the items he needed to use were left behind.

[After you fill your stomach, pack up the things you saved. I could have made it for you, but I thought you would have to walk around naked if I did that, so I bought it separately.]

It was extremely selfish, but because we shared a body, part of that selfishness was expressed as kindness. That was the cruelest thing. In the present, the person who most cared for the boy’s well-being was the same person who caused the boy the most pain.

[Oh, since there is a river nearby, how about washing it? We are humans, not animals.]

The boy once again despaired and suffered from that loveless kindness. “On the subject of killing these people.” The pain was doubled because he still had food in his hands. “To the person who killed my entire family….” A product of abomination.

“I wish you were dead.”

The boy threw the food away. Clap. I didn’t feel relieved at all. The smell of food mixed with ash filled the world.

“I wish you were dead….”

I want to die. The boy stared blankly at the flowing river.

“I wish I were dead…”

Would I die if I jumped in again? The boy knelt down. But if I can’t die, this scene will repeat itself. The boy’s hand tapped the ground.

“Please let me die….”

[Oh… baby. You know you can’t do that.]

“Kill me….”

[If you really want to stop, tell me your name. That’s enough. Then I will give you the gift of annihilation, which is like death.]

The skin that was hit by the stone was torn and burst, but now this thing is not even in the category of pain. The boy sobbed silently and planted his hands on the ground. My fingernails were broken and chipped, but it hurt less than the wound to my heart. Red blood dotted the ground.

[…Unless you don’t. At that time, I can’t help it.]

And the voice that had gently tempted him gradually became colder. White liquid began to flow from the boy’s heart.

[Baby, from now on, when you fall, I will take a route north… in the direction of your hometown.] The

white liquid that flowed down slowly took a shape. Saruk. A white hand stretched out a length of leather from the boy’s cheek.

Although there was no contact, the boy’s head was forced to raise by the presence.

[Also, when I fully reach the destination, I will kill the people of your hometown one by one and ask you about it.]

A pure white being wearing a mask… a mountain goat’s skull was there.

“…you!”

[Would you mind telling me the name of this body? If not, I will tear this person limb from limb. Still not there? Okay, let’s see how far it goes.]

“Just try doing something like that! Definitely you—!”

[There is only one way to solve this future.]

The boy choked for a moment. Due to the death of my parents and siblings, I thought of the remaining family members that I had half-forgotten and could not think about for a long time even though I occasionally remembered them.

Gunya, his uncle, his aunt, his close neighbors…

The boy’s face turned pale.

[What is your name, Koyan?]

We can’t let them die either. We can’t let them be brutally murdered like their families.

The boy trembled at the terrible future he could even imagine and shed tears. [Baby.] The hateful voice urged the boy endlessly.

It was hell.

* * *

“When even what I said was the only way was blocked, I didn’t know what to do. I instinctively knew that following the devil’s words wasn’t the right answer, but that was all. That couldn’t be an answer for me.」

* * *

The name was never said. It was because of his intuition that his hometown would not become safer even if he said his name.

But how long will this tightrope walk last? His mind has reached its limit once again, and he doesn’t know when he’ll lose it for another few weeks. Is it right to just endure like this?

The boy walked aimlessly in a maze with no known exit. Is there truly an exit from this maze? Even he wasn’t sure.

* * *

「…Then I found a group of priests. ‘It would be better to avoid it.’ This is the first time the devil has given me such advice since it inhabited my body.”

* * *

At that moment, the boy became urgent, like someone who saw a ray of light in the darkness. The devil told me to avoid it. Doesn’t that mean they are a threat even to the devil?

* * *

“One knows, two does not know… It was a very foolish decision. Even when he was cornered in the city, he just laughed as if it was ridiculous… There’s no way a guy like that would just take them as a threat… I didn’t even think about that at the time.” * * * “

Help

! please. Please help me…”

* * *

“I was so anxious to be comfortable that I missed the most important thing…”

* * *

“Please kill me.”

As long as the boy has a firm grip on the initiative, there is no problem in facing other people. If the target was a priest, he would sense the demonic energy within the boy and cause trouble there first… but in any case, nothing happened right away.

The boy took advantage of that to try to contact them.

“…the child.”

“Stand back, it might be the devil’s trick!”

“Ha, but.”

“Please kill me.”

“…I’m younger than Ann Danny.”

The Inquisitors were wary and suspicious of the boy, but at the same time they hesitated. This was especially true for the two Inquisitors who appeared to be a married couple.

Even in the face of heavy demonic energy, they showed patience and magnanimity.

“I’m fine! “Please, please, kill me!”

“…Please calm down for a moment and tell me the situation. Are you the devil? Otherwise…”

“The devil controls my body as it pleases. I’m suppressing it now, but I don’t know when it will be released. So please….”

I was very grateful and it was difficult. The boy looked desperately at the person who seemed to have the highest rank. The elderly Heretic Questioner was looking down at him with sorrowful eyes.

“Priest, please don’t make me commit any more sins.”

“…If we go to the temple, we might be able to purify the devil.”

“No, priest.”

The boy was in pain because he felt like his parents were looking at him, but he somehow held on. The boy at that time had the belief that if God had mercy on him, he would be able to meet them after death.

“I don’t know when I won’t be able to hold on. “I don’t have the confidence to go all the way to the temple.”

“Young brother….”

“More than anything, priest, I lost my family to this demon and let innocent people get caught up and killed. Please don’t tell me about life like this. I want to be comfortable now….”

“….”

“The devil is persistent. So please kill me with a single sword… with as much strength as you can.”

Therefore, the boy obediently stuck out his neck and they readily responded.

“Please rest in peace in God’s arms.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

Before the highest-ranking priest raised his sword, the Inquisitor and his wife gave the boy their final blessing. “God save this poor soul.” The priest’s blade, filled with divine power, struck the boy with his eyes tightly closed.

* * *

“… I know it’s true now, but the only way to kill this body at once is for someone of the hero’s level to concentrate divine power and burn it all at once. It was like that.」

* * *

If there was one thing the boy didn’t know, it was that a blow like this couldn’t kill him, but rather, it could only result in his body being taken away.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

[…I was still unconscious for 20 minutes last time.]

Also, if there was one thing the devil overlooked, it was that the boy’s mental strength was better than the devil expected.

“I’m sorry…”

Perhaps what the devil was aiming for was the sight of the boy fainting from the shock of death, taking advantage of the opportunity to dominate his body to his heart’s content.

However, the moment the boy realized that death could not easily chew his body, he no longer tried to leave everything to death and rest.

“I didn’t want this…”

There’s nothing you can do about losing your mind for a moment. But the moment the boy realized that his expectations had been dashed, he quickly drove out the demon. Once again, control of the body was in the hands of the boy.

“I didn’t mean to do this…”

But even this was already too late. The boy lay down and sobbed for hours, looking at the mess everywhere. “Ah…” Innocent people died again. He died because of me. The boy’s thick teardrops fell, filled with despair and frustration.

“I’m sorry…”

The kindness and kindness they showed the boy until the end was so vivid that the feeling was even more devastating. The boy cried and cried, then trembled from the creeping magic energy.

The devil was so cunning and merciless that he did not even allow him to cry freely.

“Huh…”

In my heart, I want to stay here and pray for my sins over and over again. However, since a large number of priests have died in Ida Island, search parties will definitely be sent from nearby cities to hear the news that has been cut off. If I stay here, I might run into them. No, we will meet. certainly.

“I will never do that again…”

And if I run into them, the same thing will happen again. Even if the boy doesn’t pray this time, he will raise his sword first, and at the end of the fierce battle, the devil will wake up again.

“I will never beg you to kill me again….”

I want to die. Still, that feeling hasn’t changed.

But I can’t bear to die. Because both his own attempts and his attempts with the help of others will ultimately be blocked by the devil.

The boy, realizing this, left the scene crying. It was a truly terrible moment. It was truly terrible to have to kill so many good people and run away…

* * *

「I’m sorry. “I’m really sorry…”

The moment Daniel heard the boy’s confession, he felt helpless. It was something like that. What happened at that time was that this story was hidden.

“I shouldn’t have done that…”

You were trying to save a child until the moment of death.

“I’m so sorry…”

It wasn’t the devil, I just wanted to save a child… a poor soul.

“…I am.”

Daniel parted his trembling lips with a dull voice. The boy standing in front of him is curled up on the sofa with his head down. Nothing flows down the barely visible cheeks.

“I don’t think I can forgive you either.”

But of course it has to be that way. It only has a human form, but in the end it is nothing more than a false body made from the bones of a devil. Because life and life are just simple things that can only exist for a moment…

“Yes. “I cannot forgive you.”

Therefore, Daniel knelt down. I knelt down in front of the boy who wanted to cry but couldn’t cry anymore.

“yes yes. “I am worthy of forgiveness…”

“Forgiveness is something that must be committed in the first place.”

「…!」

Oh, I pray to God. I hope that these cold cheeks can return to bleeding flesh, that I can return to a life with soft skin and muscles instead of hard skin.

“You are not guilty of anything. So I don’t dare talk about forgiveness. “You haven’t done anything wrong to me, so you should.”

If you can’t do that right now, I hope that you can at least convey your warmth when you hug each other.

Daniel said a prayer and hugged the child. His cold body began to gradually become lukewarm as it received his body temperature.

“I’m sorry.”

“I am.”

“I am truly sorry for blaming only you without knowing anything until now.”

“I deserve your apology…”

“You’ve suffered alone for so much time…”

“I don’t deserve your apology…”

However, this warmth only stays on the outside. Will it spread to the boy’s heart? Daniel hoped so and hugged the boy who was crying without tears.

“no. “You can do that.”

“It’s because of me…”

“You deserve it because you fought until the end without submitting to the great evil called the devil.”

The body, which was as hard as metal, was really uncomfortable to hold, but I was relieved that the discomfort seemed to be proof that I had made the right choice.

“You really… endured it well.”

The boy’s warmth is no longer cool.