Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

Episode 328 If only I could (14)

“…It’s smaller than I thought.”

“…I’m sorry about that. “I didn’t mean to change like this…”

“I didn’t mean to ask you to apologize.”

The Faust who entered Ratel was no different from the one I had seen in the world of imagination.

Based on this body, the top of his head barely reached his shoulders, the limbs hidden by the uniform were thin, and his hands were so small that they were insignificant compared to mine.

It was amazing that he had grown into this body.

“…Is this really what it looks like?”

“They say the soul is affected more by the mental than the physical. The form changes depending on the essence defined by the unconscious. “That’s probably why he looks so young.”

Additionally, since ratel is a substance with an undetermined shape, wouldn’t it have naturally followed the shape of an image?

I briefly explained my reasoning, and Meister and Daniel’s expressions changed differently. Meister was full of interest and curiosity, and Daniel bit his lip at the fact that he was younger than he thought.

Overall, it’s a similar reaction to when I first saw Faust. So maybe. Because I have never seen myself in person.

“…I think it would be best to sit down first before the story gets too long.”

Daniel, who had been thinking for a while, made Faust, who had been standing blankly, sit down on the sofa. This was the sofa he had been sitting on until now.

“Huh?”

“I’ll bring a chair.”

If you look in other rooms, you might find something similar to a stool.

I left the room for a moment and searched other rooms. Fortunately, the door to the room across from me was open, so I didn’t have to go far.

“Sit down.”

The sofa was too bulky to bring, but there was a chair in front of the dressing table, so I brought that. It was a chair with a one-span backrest, ornate workmanship, and a floral patterned fabric on the seat.

Daniel hesitated for a moment at the design that stood out even in the soft light source.

“Thank you for that.”

okay. Actually, I thought this was a bit like this, so I looked for another chair. But it was a bit too bulky to carry all the things I thought were okay…

“It’s fascinating… that souls can reside in things other than the body. Even because the shape is not fixed, it reflects the form of the soul…”

“That hand is a bit…”

“On what principle does sound come about? Are the vocal cords also implemented? But even if it was implemented, the material wouldn’t be as good—”

While Daniel and I sat awkwardly, Meister was stroking Faust’s arm like a pediatrician. Even though there was no way to find a pulse, they tried to feel the pulse and look for the shape of the bones and muscles.

“Do your research later.”

Even though his eyes only have whites, you can see his confusion. I pulled the collar on the back of Meister’s neck. “Not just 1 minute, just 10 minutes…!” Meister was forced to put his back on the sofa.

“…I think we can talk about it now.”

While I was holding on to Meister, Daniel finally faced Faust properly. The boy’s expression, which had been embarrassed by the meister, finally became calm.

“What do you mean, that dagger from earlier… has something to do with me?”

“…It’s not directly related.”

Faust, who was sitting on the sofa, lowered his eyelids in a slightly trembling but uninterrupted voice.

“It’s just that the events are connected.”

The distant fatigue that I once saw slowly began to build up.

“…connected.”

As if I wasn’t the only one who noticed this, Meister stopped struggling and Daniel pressed his lips. The eyes beneath the gray hair were endlessly sunken in a gloomy color.

“I don’t know where to start talking. “Where should I start so you can easily understand?”

On the other hand, the boy tried to whisper as lightly as possible. “I understand…” Daniel wiggled his clasped hands.

“…If it’s okay, would it be possible from the beginning?”

“From the beginning…?”

“Yes. “From this… where it all started.”

The boy hesitated for a moment at Daniel’s request. I couldn’t tell if he wanted to refuse because it was difficult to talk about his terrible past, or if it was for some other reason.

The eyes, which were as white as marble due to the material they were made of, stared at us. The main direction was towards me.

“There’s something Gretchen doesn’t want to hear.”

“…Is there something I shouldn’t hear or something you want to hide from me?”

“Nothing like that… but…”

There is no such thing? Then why bother telling me not to listen…? I couldn’t understand the boy’s hesitation again, so I thought about the reason for a moment. There was nothing I could guess.

“If there is no reason not to listen, I will listen together.”

It’s much better to just listen to it when you have the chance, rather than having to make time for it later when something happens. Even from Faust’s perspective, it wouldn’t be easy to reveal his past.

“…Okay.”

I maintained my stance that I would listen, and the child eventually accepted.

“It started with my little sister running out thinking her father had come…”

It was the opening of the whole story.

* * *

Although he hoped the nightmare would end, the boy eventually opened his eyes again from the nightmare.

And in that nightmare, it didn’t take long for the boy to realize one thing: a devil had entered his body.

[…The backlash is stronger than I thought.]

“Huh, huh.”

Since I woke up, I have been walking through the forest without stopping. I didn’t know if this was the right path or not. What the boy learned was how to fight demons along a castle wall, not how to find a way through the forest without tools.

“Huh.”

Also, I never learned what to do when my parents and siblings were all dead. I didn’t know how to deal with the devil when it entered my body.

So the boy just kept moving, swallowing his tears. Avoid the direction in which the sun rises or sets and go to a place that may be south, perhaps to the south.

[Are you sleepy? If you’re sleepy, you can sleep. I won’t do anything this time. It’s true.]

However, in an environment he was experiencing for the first time in his life, the boy learned a lot of new things.

“Uweeeek.”

[It must have been poisoned like that.]

“Ah ah….”

[I won’t die. But it looks a little difficult. How about taking a nap?]

“Ugh… Mom…”

For example, there is more to eat in the forest than you think, and there is less to eat than you think.

Crrrrr.

“iced coffee…!”

[Oh… you got a cut on your shoulder. Would you be able to face that leopard in that condition? If you can’t decide, I can catch you.]

There are quite a few wild beasts that gather around the water looking for prey, and they sometimes exist in places other than the water’s edge.

“Ahhhh!”

[It looks like the bugs are bothering you. Should I give you a ride? Can you give me a ride?]

If you sleep between the trees, you may sometimes get bitten by poisonous insects.

“Wait a minute, there’s a child lying down here—”

[Oh, he’s finally collapsed.]

“Huh? I woke up─ Wow! “Fire fire!!”

The moment you turn a blind eye or run away from all that pain and suffering, someone could die.

[Oh, you can sleep more. Can you please sleep more?]

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

The boy cried in front of the being that was once a person but now had nothing left but a little ash.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But I was so sleepy. I wanted to sleep well, even if only for a little while… Oh, where is Mom and Dad? I’m really having a hard time… I’m in so much pain…

Please come save me…

[Oh baby. There is no one who can help you.]

But they cannot come to save him.

Because it was a law that a dead person could not have any influence on this world.

[So give up. You will be with me forever.]

The day the boy fully realized it, he stopped looking for his parents and his brothers.

In the end, you have to have someone to grant your wish.

* * *

“It’s dangerous to encounter people, so I wandered around the inside of the forest as much as possible. Even if I fell and gave the initiative to the devil, there was at least less damage in the forest. Because there were very few encounters with people.”

“…Is that so?”

“To be honest, I couldn’t even think of where I should go. It’s not that I don’t know the existence of the temple, but… I guess it’s because I saw my family suffer so easily. It seemed like nothing could solve this.”

“It is common for people who are in a state of panic due to psychological fear to be unable to continue thinking properly. On the contrary, it’s surprising that he even made that kind of judgment… Anyway, so?”

“…I lost consciousness on a weekly basis.”

* * *

How long did you endure without any anesthetic and without eating or sleeping properly?

I can’t tell the time properly because I’m half out of my mind. Even if I couldn’t see the sun set and rise, I think I saw it more than 20 times, so it must not have been such a short period of time.

Crrrrr.

“Ah…”

But there came a time when enduring like that eventually reached its limit.

“…mom.”

[…ah. Finally?]

“Dad….”

A day when the existing wounds were festering and I even had stomachache due to eating incorrectly. The boy lost consciousness after being attacked by a wild beast.

Normally, even if I passed out, I would soon wake up with a strange sense of anxiety, but I was able to shake off the energy that was trying to take over my body and regain control of my body.

At that time, I was in such a deep state of fainting that I couldn’t even do that.

“…ah.”

How much time has passed like that?

Because he was asleep, the boy could not easily recognize the time that had passed. However, looking at my refreshed mind and clearer reason, it didn’t seem like it would be that short of a time.

The boy derived such a hypothesis from his own condition.

[You can sleep more.]

Then a soft voice made a tempting offer.

[Isn’t it comfortable? Cozy, right? If you sleep more, you can continue to enjoy them.]

To be honest, it was an offer that was hard to refuse. The sleep I had enjoyed for the first time in a long time was truly sweet and restful, so considering the pain I would experience when I woke up, I couldn’t help but like this place.

“…go away!”

But instead of getting drunk and falling asleep again, the boy resisted the terrible energy that was strangling his soul.

“Get out of here!”

[Sweetheart…! Don’t resist!]

“This is my body!”

It was usually not an easy task to take back something that had already taken control of the body. However, despite the hardships, the boy never gave in.

“I told you to live. “My mother told me to live!!”

I couldn’t help it. 『Survive.』 Their sacrifice was not for the boy to end up here.

“A child of embers will not be defeated!!”

The boy succeeded in taking the initiative back from the devil. “ah.” I could see the moon hanging on the roof of a high tower.

* * *

“When I opened my eyes, I was in a city. People were even just spotting me from behind and approaching me.”

“How could a demon enter the city…”

“…It has the ability to temporarily hide demonic energy in exchange for incurring a large penalty. “He probably wrote that.”

“So…”

“…I got scared as soon as I figured out the situation. The devil’s angry voice was ringing in my ears, and the demonic energy that had been suppressed inside the body burst out at will as soon as the devil’s control disappeared….

” What would this look like? Even worse…”

“Ah… At that time, the skin burst and bleeding occurred from the nose and eyes. “I guess that’s why.”

“Aha.”

“No, you said it like it was some kind of scratch… Meister, why are you aha again?”

“what. “So, are you going to leave the past behind and worry about it now?”

“What a personality…”

“Why are you such a slut next to me?”

“that… “Don’t fight…”

* * *

The boy thought as he looked at the people approaching. If I lose my body to the devil again, those people will get hurt.

“Oh devil!”

The boy’s expression was confused as he watched some of the approaching people pull out their swords. I have to run away. The boy’s feet hesitated and took a step back.

“Over there!”

And when the noise of people and the torches burning everywhere became louder, the boy turned and ran away. It was a city where I didn’t know the roads, but hesitating wasn’t an option in the first place.

The boy ran to a place without torches and as far away as possible.

“Oh wait. “Wait a minute—”

Fortunately, the act of ostracizing the gathered people wasn’t difficult. This is because the boy’s body went beyond the normal state after the disgusting demon entered this body.

Although it was a small price to pay for losing my family and living with the devil, it still helped me overcome the immediate hardship. The boy quickly hid into the darkness.

“It’s Magi. “I can feel the magic!”

“The devil has entered the city!”

“No…”

Now the remaining problem was the priests.

The boy gritted his teeth as he looked at those who were tracking him with divine power.

‘I have to get out of the city.’

But how? The boy didn’t know how to find his way in the forest, get food, or chase away demons, but he knew how difficult it would be to escape a group in the city.

I also knew that if the group were not just back-alley thugs but trained soldiers and priests, it would be beyond arduous and close to impossible.

After all, how many criminals and how many demons his father and brothers have killed? How many of them do you not know? Even if I wasn’t qualified and just looked over my shoulder, I wouldn’t have noticed even a single bit of the difficulty.

‘You have to think about it.’

If things continue like this, there is no choice but to get caught. As soon as the boy realized it, he thought as much as he could.

『Now Pasha. From the outside, it looks like it will never break through, right? no. Even if you prepare thoroughly, there will always be gaps. And it is our job to find that gap.』

『The Yanmar border will definitely be breached. Is that what you want to say in front of Soseongju?』

『What do you think, Tea? “You agree with this, right?”

Suddenly, the boy remembered the words of someone who was like family to his older brother, even though he was not related by blood. It was a conversation we had one day while we were looking for a hole in a castle with a young boy.

『…Well, that’s true. Especially our city has a lot of gems. A city with such valuable specialty products is bound to have a smuggling route, regardless of the strictness of the rules.』

『See. Pasha, did you hear that too? So, take that into consideration when patrolling…”

They often gave the boy who wanted to become a knight some experience in their patrols, and one of them was how to find gaps in the castle walls.

‘…I have to find it.’

Of course, the city he had never seen before and the city he had lived in all his life would not be exactly the same. There aren’t many places to hang on to.

The boy relied on the conversation at that time to find a way to escape the city.

“The demonic spirit has come out of the castle walls!”

“Hold it!”

Even in this terrible misfortune, the bad luck was on the boy’s side.

So the boy ran away from the city. “I missed the devil…!” There weren’t many injuries, but it felt like my chest had been broken somewhere.

He is no longer treated as a human being.

* * *

“After that, I wandered around the forest again. We tried to minimize contact with people as much as possible… and were careful to prevent the same thing from happening. In the end, it didn’t go well, but…”

“Maybe… what happens next…”

“…No. That’s a little bit left. That incident… that incident happened after I realized that I couldn’t even die on my own.”

“…What.”

“Even after I left that city, the number of people who got caught up in me and died continued to come out. When I was alert, it was okay to come in contact with people… but if I was even slightly shaken, the devil would come out. So maybe… about five people were killed. Maybe even more. The demon’s flames are so powerful that at most they leave behind only a handful of ash. That’s why it’s hard to figure out the numbers.”

“Bone doesn’t burn in most flames.”

“That’s right. It’s such a needlessly strong demon… It’s so useless….” “

….”

“Anyway… I got that feeling as people keep getting caught up in it and dying like that.”

“…What?”

“Ah, wouldn’t it be easier to die than to live like this? doing.”

“…!!”

* * *

The boy thought in front of the rushing river.

Let us die rather than sustain our lives by harming people in this way. Let us escape from this evil by dying.

‘sorry. ‘Father and mother.’

But you probably didn’t want me to survive like this.

“i love you.”

The boy remembered a certain navy blue that would have been left alone. I’m sorry. With an apology that couldn’t be reached, the boy’s foot stepped into the air right in front of him.

I miss you.

The boy’s body fell down.